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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26820340">A New Start</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyful_SVU/pseuds/Joyful_SVU'>Joyful_SVU</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wentworth (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:07:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>168,345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26820340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyful_SVU/pseuds/Joyful_SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bea Smith is a manager at a popular restaurant in Melbourne. Allie Novak just got hired as a new waitress at that same restaurant. A bond begins to form between the two women who otherwise would have never crossed paths. With Bea's tragic past and Allie's troubled one, the pair begin to realize that they were brought together for a reason, to let go of their previous lives and have a new start.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ballie - Relationship, Bea Smith/Allie Novak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>277</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV</p><p>I looked up from the piece of paper in my hand and saw the name of the restaurant in big cursive letters, FRANKY'S. I took a deep breath before walking towards the entrance. I was nervous, it was my first day as a waitress at this restaurant, a job I only got because of my friend Kaz. Apparently, Franky and Kaz met at anger management classes and Kaz practically begged Franky to give me an opportunity. I don't know what I would do or what I would have become had it not been for Kaz. She's like a mother to me, she has always looked out for me and had my best interests at heart. She's the only person in the world who really cares for me. I needed to make a good impression and do a good job, I didn't want to let her down. As I walked towards the hostess station, I saw an older woman with blonde hair fixing menus. </p><p>"Hi, I'm Allie Novak. I'm looking for Franky Doyle, I'm supposed to start today."</p><p>"Oh, well, welcome love. My name is Liz, I'm the hostess. Franky should be in the kitchen. I'll have someone take her to you, just give me a quick sec. Boomer!" She yelled. </p><p>I turned around and saw a bigger woman with darker hair turn around. She came towards Liz, "What."</p><p>"Booms, this is Allie. She's our new waitress. She needs to meet with Franky, could you take her to the kitchen please?" </p><p>"Yeah, righto. Come on blondie." </p><p>I followed Boomer, we passed some tables and I saw the other employees preparing to open up for the day. "So how'd you meet Franky?" Asked Boomer.</p><p>"I haven't actually. A friend of mine knows Franky and that's how I got the job. This will be my first time meeting her." I answered back. </p><p>"That'll be alright, Franky's really cool. She's the best boss and friend I've ever had."</p><p>"That's good to know." We kept walking until I was taken to the kitchen. I saw loads of chefs running around preparing food when I saw who I assumed to be Franky by the description Kaz gave me. She was brunette, wearing an apron, a chef's coat and a chef's hat, covered in tattoos. </p><p>"Yo, Franks. This here is Allie. She said she starts today." </p><p>"So your Novak. Finally good to put a face to the name, Kaz never shuts up about you. I'm Franky." She put her hand out and I shook it.</p><p>"I can't tell you how grateful I am for this opportunity Franky. I won't let you down."</p><p>"No worries, any friend of Kaz is a friend of mine. Now even though I run the joint I spend most of the time in the kitchen. In order for you to get actually started, and get real training, I'm going to have to direct you to the manager. She's a friend of mine, and with all honesty, this place would be a shit hole without her." She gestured for me to follow her and we walked out of the kitchen and upstairs where only employees were allowed. There were storage closets and staff break rooms, then we walked to end of the hall and I saw two offices. "Okay, so this office is mine, the one directly across it is Bea's, she's the restaurant manager. She spends a good amount of time here but she also helps out on the floor when needed so she knows more about the waitressing bit than I do." Franky knocked on the door and I head someone yell come in.</p><p>I thought I was nervous before I started, nothing compared to how I felt when that door opened. There was a red head sitting at her desk looking at her computer. This gave me a moment to really look at her and I can't even begin to understand what was happening to me. She was absolutely gorgeous. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, I hadn't even realized that I hadn't said anything until Franky poked my side. "Red, this Allie Novak. She starts today but doesn't have much experience with waitressing so she's all yours." I got chills when Franky said that. </p><p>Bea POV</p><p>I looked up and noticed a young girl, maybe mid 30's standing with Franky. She was blonde and pretty, not that I notice things like that. "Hi, I'm Bea. Only Franky calls me red, take a wild guess why." I held my hand out and she seemed nervous but she took my hand and shook it. I could have sworn I felt a spark when she touched me. </p><p>"I'm Allie, Novak. Sorry, I've never worked in a restaurant before. Must be my nerves getting the best of me." She smiled.</p><p>"No worries, I'll help you out with anything you need. Even though it's a big restaurant, we're family here and I want you to feel as comfortable as possible. Take a seat, let's go over some things." </p><p>As she sat down, I quickly looked her up and down, she was really pretty. I don't understand why that mattered, I've never been someone to look at other people in that way, especially women. No matter how hard Franky has tried to sway me to join the other side. As I walked over to a side table I had in the middle of the room to get Allie and I some water, I got the feeling like she was watching me. My mind is probably playing tricks on me, I gave her a glass of water and our fingers touched as she grabbed it. I felt that spark again. "Okay, well, let's get to work."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Connection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV</p>
<p>Sitting in Bea's office for as long as I did was a crime. I felt like a teenager with the biggest crush. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She had to repeat herself a couple of times because I was constantly getting lost in her eyes. She must think I'm some idiot. I noticed she wasn't wearing a wedding ring and I saw pictures behind her of a young girl with dark brown hair. I assumed it to be her daughter, God they could be identical twins. </p>
<p>"Okay, so any questions?" She asked.</p>
<p>"Nope, I think I got the gist of it."</p>
<p>"That's great. I'll be shadowing you for the first couple of days just until you're 100% up to speed and know the ins and outs of the menu and the restaurant."</p>
<p>Great just what I needed, Bea standing in close proximity to me while I have the hots for her. This is wrong, I shouldn't be having the hots for my own boss, but Jesus Christ she was beautiful. "Great, I really want to do a good job."</p>
<p>"That's what I like to hear, now although waitressing involves knowing the menu and being able to take orders, the major part is customer service. We aim to please and it is important that our staff is kind to our customers."</p>
<p>"No problem, I'll just turn on my famous Novak charm." I smiled.</p>
<p>"Novak charm?" Bea laughed.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm irresistible, everyone loves me. How can you say no to this face?"</p>
<p>Bea laughed again, "Cheeky. Now I know to refrain from blowing up your ego."</p>
<p>I swear I would do anything to hear that laugh for the rest of my life. Her smile could light up the darkest room. </p>
<p>"Ego, me? No way. Just stating facts."</p>
<p>"You sound just like Franky, you two would make quite the pair."</p>
<p>"Nah, not my type." I smiled looking her into her eyes hoping to get the tiniest of reactions out of her. </p>
<p>I felt her restrain herself from making a comment. I knew she got what I was trying to say, I was hoping she did. She looked down and produced the faintest smile but it was there, I saw it. </p>
<p>"Well, the restaurant will be opening up in 10 minutes. Let's go down so I can introduce you to everyone else." She had me follow her back downstairs which allowed me to get a nice view of her ass. This woman will be the death of me. </p>
<p>"Ah, this is Doreen. She's one of the best waitresses we have." </p>
<p>We shook hands and I introduced myself. Bea went around introducing me to everyone and showing me the ropes on how sections were given to each server. "Now, like I said earlier. There is no need to feel overwhelmed. I'm here and will always be around for any questions or concerns you'd have."</p>
<p>"Thank you Bea, I really appreciate it." I smiled at her. Our eyes locked again and I could feel this energy from her that I wanted to shower myself with. I was about to say something when we were interrupted. </p>
<p>"Oi! Red! Your kids on the phone!" Called out Franky.</p>
<p>"Sorry, I should take this, I will be right back." Bea hurried off to take the call. </p>
<p>"Keep it in your pants Novak." Franky whispered.</p>
<p>I tried to keep my composure and horribly failed at lying, "I don't know what you're talking about."</p>
<p>"Yeah right, Stevie Wonder could see the way you look at her. Let me save you some time and effort, she isn't interested. Red is straight, she was married to a bloke and has never shown any interest in women no matter how many passes I've made at her."</p>
<p>"Right because who could say no to you." I joked.</p>
<p>"Ha ha. Point is Red has never shown interest in anyone. After her divorce she's never looked at another man let alone another woman. So I'd cut my losses if I was you and go after someone a little more attainable. Plus, she's had a rough past, I like you and all but I'm not going to have anyone trying to give her a hard time or fuck her around ya hear."</p>
<p>"I'm not that type of girl Franky. And you're acting like I'm in love with her."</p>
<p>"Because you're following her around like some love sick puppy. It's disgusting. Let me put it this way, there have been men and women who have thrown themselves at Red and she has turned every single one down. I just don't want you getting your hopes up for nothing. She doesn't realize if she's being too nice or giving the wrong idea, she's naive to how good she is. I just don't want to see either of you get hurt in the process."</p>
<p>Bea POV</p>
<p>"Alright Deb, just be careful. I love you to the moon and back."</p>
<p>"Love you too Mom." </p>
<p>I hung up the call and smiled to myself thinking of how big my daughter was getting. It seemed like she was just a little girl and now she was 17 and starting to look at what universities to apply to. She was my proudest achievement and the most important thing to me. I couldn't imagine a life without my daughter. She was the only good thing that came out of my awful marriage with Harry. He and I divorced 3 years ago after he almost killed me one night when he came home drunk, out of his mind. Debbie was at a friends house so he took free reign to beat me and kicked me over and over again. He broke several ribs, punctured a lung, broke my nose, left me bloody and bruised. I remember not being able to breathe, struggling to stay awake as I felt myself succumb to the darkness. He was making his way to rape me when Franky unexpectedly came by the house and heard the commotion. She had a key and opened it right when the fucker had his pants down. Franky's short fuse came in handy as she beat the crap out of him. He was arrested and sent to prison. </p>
<p>Franky and the rest of the girls had suspicions but weren't aware to how bad things were between Harry and I. I never liked to talk about my home life unless it was Debbie. The only person who knew most details was my best friend Maxine. She and I went to high school together and she was also my hairdresser. She knew about what was going on with Harry and I and always urged me to fight and leave him but I never could. I was afraid for me, for Debbie. </p>
<p>That night will always stay with me, I came close, closer than I had ever been to really dying. I'll never forget the sorrow in Franky's eyes as she blamed herself for not having done something sooner. The pain in Maxine's eyes. The anger in Debbie's. Similar to Franky, she knew to an extent that her father at times lost his temper but never realized how bad it was. She constantly blamed herself, thinking that it was her fault that I had stayed with her father.  It had been 3 years since that night and things have slowly gone back to normal. I started seeing a therapist and worked through my emotions, Debbie came with me to some sessions. Although I still had scars on my body from different beatings I had endured, they reminded me how strong I was to have lived through it all. </p>
<p>I shook my head trying to forget about that part of my life and made my way back to the dining area. I saw Allie and Franky talking. There was something about Allie that I couldn't quite put my finger on. She was a ball of energy, she had her timid moments but she was bold. When she mentioned Franky not being her type and looked straight at me I felt this burning sensation in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to think about what she meant by that, I wasn't gay. I've had girls make passes at me before, including Franky herself, it just never interested me. I saw nothing wrong with being gay but I just never found myself being interested in women, or anyone for that matter. I'm pretty sure I'm asexual. I hated being intimate with Harry, it just hurt and seemed forceful. I've just come down to the idea that sex and intimacy just wasn't for me. But I couldn't negate this feeling I had when I was near Allie. I pushed these thoughts and feeling aside and went to join her and Franky.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Questions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>Allie has been doing great so far, she is really friendly with the customers and has quickly become a favorite at the restaurant and it has only been her first week. I guess that Novak charm she talked about does come in handy. She goes above and beyond to help out in any way she can and is constantly stopping by my office to say hi and ask how my days going. It's a nice gesture and not something I'm really accustomed to. Even though I do spend a lot of time downstairs, I'm mainly in my office alone. I've gotten used to being on my own both at work and in my personal life so having someone like Allie trying to come in and get to know more about me is definitely new. What's even stranger is that I'm letting her. I usually only talk to my friends and am weary of anyone else trying to come in, but I've allowed myself to have a semi-friendship with Allie. She's easy to talk to. </p><p>I heard a knock on my door and looked up to find exactly who I was just thinking about. </p><p>"Good Afternoon Boss."</p><p>I smiled, "Allie, we've talked about this, Bea."</p><p>She came in and sat down across from me. "Sorry, Bea. How's your day going so far?"</p><p>"Same old, tons of paperwork. Being the manager is fun and all but the amount of emails and things I have to oversee can get to be too much. It's like I spend more time here than I do at home with my own daughter."</p><p>"I've been meaning to ask about that, she's the one in the pictures yeah?" She said nodding towards the photographs behind me.</p><p>"Yeah." I beamed. "That's Debbie."</p><p>"You guys could be twins. She looks just like you. Gorgeous just like her mum."</p><p>I blushed and looked down at my hands. "Nah. Other than the hair and the eyes she's her own person. That beauty is all her."</p><p>"You're selling yourself short Bea. There's only one place she could have gotten her beauty from, had to be from the woman I'm sitting in front of."</p><p>I felt my hands start to sweat. Compliments weren't something I was good at. Harry never gave me any and hearing them from Allie felt foreign. Like a lie, but looking her in her eyes I could only see truth. "I don't know about that," I answered back. </p><p>She smiled again and really looked at me, "You don't see it do you?"</p><p>"See what?"</p><p>"How amazing you are."</p><p>We were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was Doreen, "Hey uh Bea, sorry for the interruption. There's a customer downstairs asking for you. She asked by name."</p><p>I struggled to take my eyes off of Allie and forced myself to tear away from her gaze, "Thanks Dors, I'll be right down."</p><p>"I'll come with, I should be down there anyway. Just came up here to brighten my day before it actually started." She winked at me.</p><p>I struggled to say anything else, how do you respond to that? I couldn't be imagining things anymore. I think Allie was flirting with me. The problem isn't that she was doing it, the problem was I liked it.</p><p>We went downstairs and she went towards Liz to ask for her table assignments and I followed Doreen's directions to what customer was asking for me. I saw who it was and smiled, "Bridget! How are you?"</p><p>She got up from her seat and went in for a hug, "Bea, it's been a long time. You remember Vera, she's another one of the therapists that works at the clinic with me."</p><p>"Yes I do. Hi Miss Bennett." I said shaking her hand.</p><p>"Vera and I had an extra hour for lunch and decided to come check out the place. I remember you told me you worked here and hoped you still did."</p><p>"Yup, here day and night. It's a great place. Franky really is an amazing chef. I hope you two enjoy everything."</p><p>"Thank you. It also gave me the opportunity to ask how you're doing. It's been a while since our last session and I just wanted to make sure you're doing alright."</p><p>"I am, I'm good. Working with you really helped me and I don't think I could ever properly thank you for that."</p><p>She shook her head, "No. None of that. That was all you Bea. I'm just glad that you're happy."</p><p>"I am." I was about to say something else when I felt someone come up from behind me. </p><p>"Hi, I'm Franky. Owner of the restaurant." Franky put her hand out and extended it to Bridget. I knew exactly what she was doing. </p><p>"Bridget Westfall." </p><p>"So Bea, how come you never mentioned that you had such a hot friend before?" I rolled my eyes and looked at Franky. </p><p>"Franky, this is Bridget, my therapist." Nothing changed Franky's demeanor. She still had that smile on her face like she was planning on making a move. </p><p>"So you like to know all the deep dark secrets that people hold?" Franky asked.</p><p>"I like to get to know people, get into their minds." Bridget responded. </p><p>"Just their minds?" </p><p>I swear I just saw Bridget blush. Oh God, how does Franky do it? </p><p>"We'll I'll leave the two of you to talk, I have some work to do." I said my goodbyes and was on my way back upstairs. I felt someone grab my hand and I turned around to see Allie. </p><p>"Hey, what time do you take your lunch?" She asked. </p><p>"Around 3:30, why?"</p><p>"Well you mentioned that you are here all day, and no offense to Franky's cooking because it's amazing, but there is a bistro that I like a couple of blocks away and I was wondering if you'd like to join me during your lunch break."</p><p>Everything in my head was telling me to say no. I had to work, I never left for my lunch. I never even went to lunch with anyone unless it was Maxine or Debbie. I should say no but I found that I couldn't say no to Allie, I didn't want to say no to her. "Sure."</p><p>"Great, I'll see you later, Bea." She emphasized my name and smiled. Then she walked away. </p><p>I went upstairs to try to regain any mental strength I had and forced myself to go back to work. Unbeknownst to me, Bridget had seen the entire thing. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I was dancing a jig inside, she said yes! She said yes! It's not necessarily a date, but Bea and I are technically going out. Maybe just as friends or work colleagues but she said yes. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life. She didn't turn me down, she said yes. I couldn't help the smile that showed on my face. I was in the best mood ever, no one could make that go away. I worked hard and spent my entire shift thinking about Bea. I was so excited. </p><p>As soon as 3:30 rolled around I was right outside her door, I knocked and heard her say to come in. </p><p>"Hey, you ready?" I asked.</p><p>"Yeah, let me get my bag."</p><p>We walked out of the restaurant together and I could see Franky giving me a look. I chose to ignore it. Not even Franky could ruin this for me. We talked for a bit on the way to the bistro on how our days were going so far and when we got there I opened the door for her and took the seat out for her to sit down when we were seated. </p><p>"What a gentleman." She joked. </p><p>"Always, especially when I have such a pretty lady with me." I saw her blush again and it quickly turned into my favorite thing to do.</p><p>We ordered and I asked her how she met Franky, "Well, I helped run a salon with my best friend for a couple of years and Franky would come in from time to time. When Franky started putting the restaurant together she was looking for someone to help run the place as a manager because Franky hates paperwork and office work. She lives to work in the kitchen. She offered me the job after seeing that I would help Maxine at the salon and was pretty good at it. I turned it down at first because I had never worked at a restaurant before and didn't have the experience but it's hard to say no to Franky. She's very pushy and I was uh, getting divorced. I needed the money and having a teenage daughter definitely involves having to spend more so I accepted."</p><p>"Well, experience or not, I reckon you're pretty good at your job."</p><p>"Thank you." She smiled. "What about you, how did you meet Franky?"</p><p>"Well I met her for the first time on my first day but my best friend Kaz already knew Franky. They met at some anger management group and Franky had mentioned that she was looking for new servers. Kaz threw my name in the ring because I was looking for a job and Franky agreed."</p><p>"Well, it's good that she did. You're really good at what you do Allie."</p><p>"Thank you Bea." I wanted to know more about Bea. I wanted to know everything about her, but I had noticed Bea's hesitation when mentioning her husband earlier. So I decided to ask about something that always seemed to make her smile. "So tell me about Debbie."</p><p>She smiled wide, "What do you want to know?"</p><p>"Everything."</p><p>She told me everything about Debbie. She talked about her likes and dislikes, her hobbies. What she was like as a kid and what she's like now. She spoke with such pride. It made me wish I had had someone like that growing up, someone who cared about me the way Bea cares about Debbie.</p><p>"Debbie, she's smart, and really stubborn. But most of all, she's kind."</p><p>I put my hand over Bea's, "She sounds like a great kid."</p><p>"She is." She beamed. "I don't know what I'd do without her." She took a sip of water, "So what about you. Any plans to have kids at all?"</p><p>I shook my head. "No, I mean I like kids. But, let's just say I had a rough upbringing. Not the best parents, and I'm not sure if I'd want to bring kids into this world knowing I could be like my parents."</p><p>"I don't think that's true. You're kind and caring. I think you'd be a great parent." She squeezed my hand and I could feel myself get nervous. </p><p>We talked some more about my life now and hers. We both strayed away from talking about either of our pasts which I was grateful for. I didn't want to scare Bea away with my previous job occupation. I didn't want her to see me differently, to see me as dirty or slutty. Even though we just met, her opinion mattered to me. I don't know what I'd do if Bea was ever disappointed in me.</p><p>We went back to the restaurant and she thanked me for inviting her out. "Anytime." I answered back. She went back upstairs and I went to the backroom to organize some things when I felt like someone was behind me. </p><p>"You're playing with fire Novak." I sighed turning around seeing it was Franky.</p><p>"I'm not doing anything wrong."</p><p>"I warned you not to get involved. Red is just being nice. She doesn't realize what's going on. She doesn't realize that she might be leading you on."</p><p>"You're talking like I'm not aware of it. She's not letting me on, I'm following. I know you think I'm just trying to get into her pants but that's not it for me. It's more than that. I care about Bea, a lot. I like her. And I know it will probably take a lot of time but I'm willing to put the work in. I would do anything to see her smile all the time the way she did today. To make her blush and actually laugh. I'm not playing a game Franky. I want Bea, but if all I can ever be is her friend then I would rather have some of her than none of her at all."</p><p>Franky shook her head, "Damn Novak, you've got it bad. I just don't want to see you get heartbroken."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>As soon as I got into my office I had gotten a call by one of our distributors and went to go look for Franky to ask her a question. I saw her go into one of the backrooms and heard Allie say she wasn't doing anything wrong. I didn't want to snoop and listen in until Franky mentioned my nickname. I stayed and listened and heard Allie actually say it. She said she like me. She said she wanted me. I couldn't move. I felt stuck in time. Then, I heard Franky say she didn't want Allie to be heartbroken over this. I had my suspicions that Allie might be interested in me but having her confirm it changed something. I don't know if I was scared or excited. I had so many thoughts running through my head, I quickly left where I was and went back to my office. I sat down and put my head in between my hands. Having lunch with Allie made me enjoy her company. I liked Allie, as a friend. I just wan't sure if I could like her as more than that. I couldn't give her what a relationship required. I'm not that kind of person. I was so confused. I needed answers, I picked up my phone and clicked on Maxine's name. </p><p>"Hello." She answered.</p><p>"Hey, Maxine. Are you busy tonight. I need a drink and I could use a friend. I've got some questions that I need to run by someone other than me."</p><p>"You give me the time and place and I'll be there."</p><p>We set up to meet at a quiet bar near my house. I really needed some guidance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Answers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>I was sitting at a table for two at the bar Maxine and I had agreed to meet up at. I had told Debbie that I was going to be out for a bit so she shouldn't wait up. I couldn't get what Allie said out of my head. She liked me. She barely knew me. All it would take was for her to hear about my past and she'd bolt. I knew she would, no one would want damaged goods. And her flirtation obviously meant that she would want to be close to me in a way I don't think I could ever be close to anyone again. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice Maxine had come up to the table. She put her hand on my shoulder and I looked up in shock, "Oh I'm sorry Maxie, I didn't even see you." I laughed. I got up to hug her and we both took a seat.</p><p>"I can tell, you look like you had a lot on your mind. Care to share?" She smiled.</p><p>"I don't know where to start. Maxine, I'm so confused."</p><p>"Well, let's start with a drink. Calm those nerves you have. Then, you'll tell me what's got you thinking so hard." She called over a waiter and we put in our order. </p><p>She grabbed my hands as we waited and gave me a warm smile. We got our drinks and I took a sip of my wine. "Okay, well this girl started working at the restaurant, she's new. And I started to get the feeling that she was being really flirty but I just thought I was reading too much into it or maybe that's the way her personality was."</p><p>"But?"</p><p>"Well we went to lunch today and we talked and talked and I don't think I've ever felt so free. It was weird, she's easy to talk to. I don't feel forced or pushed to have to talk about myself or Debbie. She made it seem like nothing. And when we went back to the restaurant, I heard Franky and her talking and I heard her say she liked me. Like, really liked me."</p><p>"So what's the problem?" Asked Maxine.</p><p>I gave her a weird look, "I'm not gay Maxie."</p><p>She rolled her eyes and put her hands on top of mine, "Bea, you just told me you felt at ease with this Allie. That she was nice and you liked talking to her."</p><p>"Yeah..."</p><p>"And you have had people flirt with you before, but you never gave them the time of day, yet you did with Allie."</p><p>I didn't get what Maxine was getting at.</p><p>"Could it possibly be that you like Allie too?"</p><p>I couldn't give an answer. It couldn't be true.</p><p>"Forget the whole you not being gay thing, just really think about it. Do you possibly have feelings for Allie?"</p><p>"I don't know." I responded honestly.</p><p>"When Allie flirts with you, how do you feel?" She asked.</p><p>"I get nervous, it makes me feel unsure. She's cheeky that's for sure. She makes me laugh and sometimes she'll come into my office before her shift starts just to say hi and talk for a bit and she goes out her way to say bye to me before she leaves for the day. It's a nice distraction. And the other day she remembered a coffee I had had the day before and she brought me one with two different types of muffins because she didn't know which one I liked more." I smiled remembering the incident. It was thoughtful and nice, no one had ever gone out of their way like that for me before. </p><p>Maxine was smiling back at me and didn't say anything. I think she was waiting for me to finally really get it. I think I liked Allie too. </p><p>"Something tells me, Allie isn't the only one with a crush."</p><p>I went to dismiss it again, as if I was fooling anyone other than myself with the constant denial, but I stopped as soon as I saw the same blonde we were talking about walking towards me.</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Franky's conversation with me in the backroom really got me in a mood even though I had sworn that nothing could ruin the great lunch I had with Bea. After work Kaz asked if I wanted a drink and nothing sounded better. I didn't want to go home alone and needed to get Franky's negativity out of my head. Kaz and I met up at a bar she liked and  we walked in and looked around to see if there was anywhere to sit. As I looked around I could almost kiss Kaz for picking this bar. I couldn't believe me luck. Bea was here too. Seeing her once more was more than enough to lift my spirits again. </p><p>"Kaz, hold on. I see someone I recognize. I want to stop and say hi."</p><p>"Sure bubba."</p><p>I headed over to the table Bea was at when she looked up from the conversation she was having and made eye contact with me. She smiled almost immediately and I could have dropped dead then and there.</p><p>"Bea, hi."</p><p>"Allie, hi." She got out go her seat and I went in for a quick kiss on her cheek. I could tell she wasn't expecting it but it made her blush which drove me insane. </p><p>"Uh, this is Maxine. She was the one I was telling you about earlier."</p><p>"Oh yeah hi, the best friend and hairdresser right?" I asked putting my hand out.</p><p>"That's the one. You must be the new waitress." She said shaking my hand.</p><p>"Oh Bea, you're already talking about me to your friends. I'm touched." I said jokingly.</p><p>"We were talking about the restaurant and I ended up mentioning your name."</p><p>"Okay sure." I smiled back, I took a quick moment to look Bea over. She had changed from her work attire and she looked hot. She was wearing dark black skinny jeans, a dark black v neck shirt that showed just enough cleavage and a leather jacket. I tried to snap myself back to reality before I started drooling. But I just couldn't help myself, she looked amazing. It took every ounce of restraint I had to not grab her hand and take her to the bathroom to have my way with her. How could I look her in her eyes at work knowing she dressed like that outside of work? </p><p>"Well, I just wanted to say hi. I came with Kaz and just my luck when I saw a beautiful red head sitting over here." She blushed once again and I couldn't help the grin that escaped my mouth. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you Maxine, see you tomorrow Bea." I kissed her cheek again and walked back to Kaz. I needed a stiff drink and a cold shower. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Everything happened so fast but Allie kissed me on the cheek twice. I felt like a teenager, I knew I was blushing. It caught me off guard, I hadn't expected it. I sat down again and noticed Maxine giving me a look. </p><p>"What?" I asked. </p><p>"She's got the hots for you."</p><p>"Nah, she's just weird." I shook my head and took some more sips of wine. </p><p>"Bea, hearing you talk about her and seeing you with her just confirmed what I initially thought. She obviously likes you and I think you like her too."</p><p>I looked down at my hands and sighed, "Maxine, I'm nearly 40. What the hell am I doing, getting all school girl over another woman. Not just any woman, a younger woman."</p><p>"There isn't an age limit on love Bea."</p><p>I gave her a quizzical look, "Who's talking about love Maxine. That's a little fast don't you reckon?"</p><p>"Maybe, but don't forget how long I've known you. You never really loved Harry, you never got excited when you were around him. The only time I saw you truly happy was the day Debbie was born. But this glow you have now, that is something you only see when someone special comes into your life."</p><p>"I'm scared Maxine, even if I thought about truly considering this and giving it a go, it would never work."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"My past, my baggage. That's too much for anyone. She shouldn't be with anyone broken like me." I said while looking at the rim of my glass.</p><p>"Oh Bea, you aren't broken. What Harry did, was something only a weak man could do. Your strength has made you who you are today. And if Allie can't see that, then she's an idiot. But something tells me, she's a lot stronger than you give her credit for."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Kaz and I found a table on the opposite side of the bar, I had a pretty direct view of Bea from where I was sitting. Kaz snapped me out of my thoughts when she brought over our drinks. "Alright spill, what's going on with you and the red head?"</p><p>"Nothing, yet." I smiled.</p><p>"She's cute, how'd you two meet?"</p><p>"She's the manager at Franky's restaurant. Her name is Bea-"</p><p>"Smith?" Kaz interrupted. </p><p>"Yeah, why? Do you know her?"</p><p>Kaz took a sip of her vodka tonic and avoided eye contact. </p><p>"Kaz."</p><p>"Look, I don't know her personally but Franky has told me some things. You should stay away from her Allie."</p><p>"Christ, you sound just like Franky. What did Franky tell you about her?"</p><p>"I can't tell you that, if you want to know go ask Franky. It's not my business to tell, and it's probably in my best interest to keep my mouth shut."</p><p>"Why Kaz? Kaz answer me."</p><p>"Allie, you know I care for you. So I'm going to need you to stop asking me questions I can't answer."</p><p>I was confused. What was so wrong with Bea that everyone wanted to keep me away from her? And what was Kaz's deal? I looked over to where Bea and Maxine were sitting and saw Bea look crestfallen. She looked sad. I wanted to run over and ask what was wrong. Kaz changed topics and we spoke about her work at the shelter, she purposely avoided asking me about work. Whatever she was hiding from me had to be bad, Kaz never hid anything from me, ever. </p><p>As the night went on I saw Maxine get up to leave, she hugged Bea and whispered something in her ear that made Bea almost cry. I saw Bea sit down again and order another drink. </p><p>"Alright bubba, well, it's time for me to call it a night. Early morning tomorrow." </p><p>"Bye Kaz." I hugged her and she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.</p><p>As she turned to walk away she looked back and said, "Just think about what I said, don't involve yourself with Smith. You have enough on your plate and your past is heavy enough. You don't need to get involved in hers."</p><p>I was confused, none of this made sense. I heard what Kaz and Franky said but I couldn't walk away. Something pulled me towards Bea and I couldn't turn it off. She was amazing, whatever past Kaz kept talking about couldn't be bad enough to make me leave her in the dark. Not after I had spent all this time trying to get her to open up to me. I looked over to her table and saw her get up to go to the restroom. I threw some money on the table and followed her. I walked in and saw her near the sink with her head hanging down. She didn't notice I was there.</p><p>"Hey." I said. </p><p>She looked up and saw me through the reflection of the mirror, she quickly turned around, "Hey. I thought you had left already."</p><p>"No, not yet. Guess I just don't know when to walk away." I walked a little closer to her, "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Just got a lot on my mind."</p><p>"Well, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here." </p><p>She smiled, "Thank you Allie."</p><p>"So do you need a ride or?"</p><p>"No, I drove. Thank you though."</p><p>"Then I'll walk you to your car, let's go."</p><p>"Allie, you really don't have to do this."</p><p>"I know, I'm offering." I smiled. </p><p>"No, I mean...Allie, nothing can happen between us."</p><p>I felt my stomach drop, "I don't know what you mean."</p><p>She shook her head, "I know you like me, and you've been flirting with me. And it was cute and all but I'm not gay. You should be with someone who is your age, your type, up to your speed. I'm just not that."</p><p>I was running circles in my head trying to figure out if Franky lagged or if I was being that obvious. "Age is just number Bea, and seeing as you haven't figured it out yet; you are my type. If by speed you mean someone who will jump straight into bed with me with a quick snap of a finger, then you don't know me as well as you think you do. I want stability, I want love, I want you. There is no one out there who could match the way I feel about you. And you being gay doesn't matter to me, I don't care what you are. I care about who you are."</p><p>I got closer to her to the point that I could hear her breathing. I grabbed her arm for a second and looked her into her eyes, "You're shaking."</p><p>"It's cold."</p><p>"It's not cold." I leaned in and kissed her, it was short and sweet. She kissed me back, for a second, but she kissed me back. It was possibly the best kiss of my life, it felt tender and desperate. I used one hand to twirl some of her hair and the other I had on her waist. We pulled back and the desire I felt for her and the darkening of her pupils told me everything I needed to know. "Now we can go."</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Unsure Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>Allie kissed me, and I kissed her back. We kissed. I kept running through it over and over again in my head. I felt her soft lips on mine and I kissed her back. It was wrong, it had to be, but it felt so right. She was gentle and soft, Harry's kisses were always so rough. After we kissed and she said we could go, I felt frozen in time. I don't know how I managed to force myself to move my feet and walk out of the bathroom, out of the bar, and straight to my car. I didn't even say bye to Allie, I just kept walking. I drove home in silence trying to wrap these thoughts around my head. Kissing Allie lit something in me that I didn't know I had. If she hadn't stopped, I don't think I would have. I liked kissing her, feeling that close to her. </p><p>I pulled up to my driveway and shakily got my keys out to open the door. The lights were on and I went to go look for Deb. I assumed she was probably studying and when I went into her room I saw her there sleeping. Papers and books were on the floor of her bed and she still had her reading glasses on. I walked over to take them off, I put a blanket over her, kissed the top of her head, and turned off the lights. She worked so hard, I was so proud of her but she exhausted herself on a weekly basis trying to cram for exams. </p><p>I walked to my bedroom and sat down on my bed. My mind was still reeling from everything that happened in the bar. The talk with Maxine and the kiss with Allie. I was conflicted on what to do and was so unsure on how to continue this. Allie made it more than clear that she wanted me, that she liked me. But how was I sure, completely. that I wanted that too. Maybe I was just curious. I couldn't close my eyes no matter how much I tried. I was worried about seeing Allie the next day at work. I don't think I could face her, I don't think I could face anyone. After a lot of thinking I grabbed my phone and messaged a couple of people and did what I could to get some sleep. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I could barely sleep last night because of my nerves. I was excited and couldn't wait to see Bea. I didn't even stop to see Liz, I rushed straight upstairs and knocked on Bea's door. I heard no answer so I opened it slightly and there was no one in her office. It looked like no one had been in yet. </p><p>"Red's not here Casanova." I heard Franky yell from her office.</p><p>"Is there ever a time you aren't all up in my business?" I asked walking towards her.</p><p>"What's the fun in that? Plus, I have to be nosey with you because Red wouldn't tell me anything. So what happened between the two of you?"</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"She called off. Said she wasn't feeling well and said she wasn't coming in. Now I have known her for years, she never missed work at the salon and hasn't missed a day in 3 years since she's worked here even when she has looked deathly sick. Now all of a sudden you come around and now she can't come in for whatever reason."</p><p>Bea called off, she was avoiding me. I pushed her too far. I thought the kiss went fine but maybe I overestimated what happened between the two of us. I felt like shit and didn't really feel like explaining myself to Franky. "Nothing happened."</p><p>"Bullshit."</p><p>"Nothing happened Franky."</p><p>"Yeah alright, whatever you say. Just know that I warned you, and if you made her feel uncomfortable in any way you're going to have hell to pay. I like you blondie, but this isn't going to work if Red feels like she can't work with you. So whatever it is you did, either make it right or start looking for a new job."</p><p>I didn't want to lose Bea or this great place. I loved working here but I didn't want Bea to feel uncomfortable. I felt awful, I shouldn't have as gone as far as I did. I should have listened to Kaz and Franky. I was so goddamn stubborn that I thought I knew what I was doing and I was wrong. So fucking wrong. I needed to talk to her to apologize, but I didn't have her contact info and I doubted Franky would help me.</p><p>I went downstairs and went up to Liz. "Hey Liz, could I ask for a favor?"</p><p>"Sure love."</p><p>"Do you have Bea's phone number? She's not coming in today and I was supposed to talk to her about some paperwork that was missing from my file." What a crock of shit. I hoped she believed me.</p><p>"Sure, I'm surprised you don't have it yet. You two seemed so close."</p><p>I nodded, I thought we were getting there too. She gave me her number on a piece of paper and I grabbed it, thanked her and went to input it in my phone. I was about to text her when I saw Franky walking around. It was going to have to wait till later. I put my phone away and went to work. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I knew Franky didn't believe me when I said I wasn't feeling well but she didn't ask too much which I was thankful for. I dropped Debbie off at school dressed in my usual work clothing so she wouldn't be suspicious. I didn't need her worrying about me too. I drove for a bit until I arrived at Bridget's clinic. Bridget and I ended our sessions about a year ago because I was basically "healed" I guess. I still had some bad days but she helped me work through my fear and anger and to become stronger. Once we both felt confident that I was doing a lot better I chose to end the sessions, but right now I think I needed someone like her to guide me on what was going on with me.</p><p>I had messaged her late last night hoping she'd have an opening and she did. I walked up to the secretary and put my name down and who I was there to see. I waited for about 5 minutes before I was called into her office. It looked the same as it did last time I was there, some new paintings and a plant but it felt the same. </p><p>"Bea, I'm glad you reached out. I will say I was a bit surprised to hear from you. Take a seat."</p><p>I sat down and she handed me a glass of water, "Thank you for taking me in at such late notice."</p><p>"No problem, so what's going on? Are you alright?"</p><p>"I'm not sure. I'm struggling a bit with some things that have been going on." </p><p>"Like?"</p><p>I struggled to find the exact words to express exactly what was going on in my head. I was afraid to really say it out loud. </p><p>"Bea, you called for this session. Perhaps you'd like to start-"</p><p>"You're-you have relationships with women right?" I asked knowing the answer. She had mentioned it to me once when I had asked about a picture she used to have in her office of her and another woman. She told me it was her girlfriend but looking at her desk now, the picture was gone. </p><p>"I think you know the answer to that."</p><p>"Have you always? With women?"</p><p>"No, in my 20's I did date men."</p><p>"Do you call yourself bi, or whatever?"</p><p>"Well, it doesn't matter what I call myself. But I will say this, I think uh a lot of women who Identify as lesbian have had relationships with men at some point."</p><p>"What about being bicurious?"</p><p>"Bea, we've not discussed your perspectives on love and relationships. You know, taking into account your marriage and looking into the future, it could can be conceivable that-"</p><p>I had begun to kind of space out for a bit, just trying to understand who I was, what label coincided with me best. The longer time went, I think the more certainty I had that what Allie and I experienced, I didn't want it to end. </p><p>"Bea." Bridget brought my attention back to her. "Where are you going?"</p><p>"I think I'm done here." I got ready to get up when I heard Bridget speak again.</p><p>"You know I have uh known a lot of women who identified as straight and who fell in love with a woman and panicked. And to those women I always said; forget the terminology, just be in the moment and see how you feel, because if you've fallen for someone, then, fuck the labels."</p><p>I smiled at what Bridget said. It made me shake off that fear I had about this situation. I have spent my whole life living under fear. My dad was a piss head and threw his weight around all the time. When I met Harry, he was nice for a while but things changed and I spent our entire marriage in fear and pain. I wasn't going to let fear take over me anymore. I wanted to have a life without worrying about what others think of me or what I think of myself. </p><p>"Thank you Bridget, really."</p><p>"Anytime Bea. And I'm sure Allie will make you very happy."</p><p>I gave her a questioning look, "How, how do you know her name?"</p><p>"I saw the two of you when I was at the restaurant. I saw her grab your hand and the way your face lit up told me everything I needed to know. I saw her name tag when she was running around. And if it's any consolation, she had the biggest smile on her face after you two spoke."</p><p>I smiled thinking about it, "What about you?" I asked.</p><p>"What about me?"</p><p>"I saw you with Franky."</p><p>She rolled her eyes and gave a quick smile, "Franky's cute but she's a little young for me. And I don't think she's the relationship type."</p><p>"Allie's younger than I am, and if I'm willing to try you could try with Franky. And she is a free spirit, but maybe you'll be the one to calm her down."</p><p>"I don't know, I don't want to waste my time on someone who's just going to give me the run around. She did give me her number when we were at the restaurant."</p><p>"Wow, then that tells me she must be interested. She usually gets their number first so she can take control. Letting you have her number means you have it."</p><p>"We'll see." </p><p>I left my session with Bridget feeling lighter. I walked to my car and was about to head home when I felt my phone vibrate. It was a text message from an unknown number. I opened it up.</p><p>~Hey Bea, it's Allie. I got your number from Liz because I needed to talk to you. I wanted to apologize for what I did last night. I realize now that what I did was wrong and I shouldn't have pushed you to do something you weren't comfortable with. You told me nothing was going to happen and I should have listened. I feel awful that it bothered you so much that you didn't even come into work. I'm sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you. I'll quit. I'll tell Franky today. I'm sorry Bea.~</p><p>I felt my heart drop. I didn't even consider that my silence may have created uncertainty with her. I didn't want her to quit. I wanted Allie. I drove off and headed towards the restaurant. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I sighed as I sent the text to Bea and started running through the conversation I was going to have with Franky in my head. I was grabbing my bag about to go on my break when I heard Bea's voice.</p><p>"Where's Allie?"</p><p>I turned around and saw her being pointed in my direction by Booms.</p><p>"Bea, I'm so sorr-"</p><p>She cut me off by grabbing me hand, "Come with me."</p><p>She didn't have to tell me twice. I followed her to her office. She shut the door behind us and I was about to open my mouth to explain when I felt her lips on mine. This kiss was everything the first one wasn't. It was passionate, heated, filled with assertiveness coming from Bea. I kissed her back and moaned when I felt her tongue in my mouth. This was the hottest kiss I've ever had and I have no idea where this confidence came from but I didn't want her to stop. I felt like I was going to pass out, feeling her hands on me and her mouth on mine. We pulled apart for air and I looked at her looking for an explanation.</p><p>"I don't want you to quit. I needed some time to think, that's why I didn't come into work today. I was nervous at first and unsure of what I wanted and if I could do this but I like you too Allie. And I hate that I made you feel like what you did bothered me or made me feel uncomfortable in any way."</p><p>I smiled at what she said, "So you care about me?"</p><p>She kissed me again and I smiled into the kiss. "What do you think?" she asked.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay hi. First off I'd like to thank everyone for their comments. This is my first Ballie story and my first time using A03 to write on so I appreciate all the kudos. And in this particular chapter with Bridget and Bea talking, I changed some of the things said from the original clip because this is an AU and Bea isn't in prison so the gate gay reference wouldn't have worked in this story. But I hope you all liked this chapter and I will continue writing because I'm still not over them even though it's been years. They deserved better.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Kiss Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p><p>I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or if this was actually real. Bea confessed that she liked me too and we kissed. I had to have won the lottery because I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. She was willing to give it a go, the two of us. We sat down on the couch on her office and I could tell that the confidence she had during the kiss was starting to fade away because she was getting all nervous. I grinned and grabbed her hands, "Don't do that. Don't disappear on me."</p><p>"It just doesn't feel real."</p><p>"Oh, it's real." I leaned in to kiss her and she kissed me back. I could spend the rest of my life kissing her, feeling her lips on mine. She was an amazing kisser. We pulled apart and I put a strand of her red hair behind her ear, "Beautiful."</p><p>She blushed and looked away, "that's not true."</p><p>"Are you kidding? Bea the moment I met you I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. You are so beautiful. Couldn't you tell by the way I kept asking you to repeat yourself when we first met? I was so nervous around you, I was staring at you the entire time and wouldn't even realize you were talking to me."</p><p>"I just thought they were first day jitters."</p><p>"Nope, it had more to do with the gorgeous red head sitting in front of me."</p><p>"I guess I'm just not used to hearing things like that, taking compliments."</p><p>"Well, you better learn because I am going to be throwing them your way left and right."</p><p>She blushed again and laughed. Her office door opened and we saw Franky walking in with some papers. "Oh, hey Red. I didn't think you were coming in today." She looked down and saw us holding hands and a smirk immediately appeared on her face, "But I'm assuming work wasn't really your reason for coming in."</p><p>Bea rolled her eyes and let go of my hands for a moment, "I'll take those, thank you Francesca. Could you leave us alone please."</p><p>"Francesca, what the fu-"</p><p>"Out."</p><p>"Nah, what's going on?"</p><p>"None of your business Franky." Bea answered back.</p><p>"Yeah it is, if it's happening in my restaurant I deserve to know so what's going on? You called off for the first time in years, blondie was a wreck, and now you two are all touchy touchy."</p><p>"Fine. Allie and I are starting to see each other. Happy?"</p><p>Franky looked back at me and back to Bea. "Not gay my ass."</p><p>"Franky, out!" Bea yelled.</p><p>"Fine, I'm leaving. On two conditions."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Don't ever use my government name again, it's gross. Secondly, I need to know, what base did you get to?" Franky smirked.</p><p>"Out!" Bea practically pushed Franky out and closed the door, locking it this time. She stood facing the door and putting her head on it. I took the opportunity to stand up and came up from behind her. I turned her around and kissed her slowly, she kissed me back and we stood there in each others embrace. I took the chance to put my hand somewhere its been dying to since the moment we met, I softly cupped her ass and heard her moan. I pushed her up against the door and put my leg in between hers. I wanted to touch her everywhere, I wanted to rip her clothes off of her and show her how much I cared for her but I knew she wasn't ready for that, not yet. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Feeling Allie kissing me the way she was drove me crazy, I thought I was going to lose it when I felt her leg go in between mine. Her leg was touching my crotch and I could feel this burning feeling coming from inside of me. I moaned at the pressure. I wanted more of her I just didn't know how to ask for it. </p><p>"Christ, if I knew you were this good of a kisser I would have tried this the day we met." Allie smiled.</p><p>"Am I?"</p><p>She leaned in and whispered into my ear, "When you had me pushed up against the door and you kissed me the way you did, I could have cum right then and there. I was so wet for you. I still am. You drive me insane Bea Smith." She kissed me again and I let myself get lost in her. Feeling her, touching her, breathing her in. I couldn't really understand what Allie saw in me but the way she talked about what I did to her sparked something in me. I never considered myself to be a sexual person but I felt a fire with Allie that I've never felt before. I felt her hand on my waist, similarly to when we kissed in the bathroom. She stopped kissing me and moved down to my neck. I closed my eyes and moved my neck to give her more access. She thought I was a good kisser, she was amazing. Then we were pulled out of our trance by heavy vibrating coming from by bag. </p><p>"Can't get a break huh?" I joked. I separated myself from her and went to go check my bag, it was Debbie calling. "Hey sweetheart, what's up?"</p><p>"Hey mom, I'm sorry to bother you but Amanda's car broke down and her parents can't come to get us."</p><p>"I'm on my way. Send me your location." I ended the call and looked over to Allie. "I'm sorry I have to go, Debbie and her friend are in a minor car situation."</p><p>"Is everything alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, she just needs me to go pick them up. I'm sorry for having to go."</p><p>"Hey, it's not a problem. It just means you'll have to make it up to me later." She winked and kissed me quickly. "And, before you run off and be super mom, I wanted to ask. Will you go on a date with me?"</p><p>I smiled and bit my lip, "I would love to go on a date with you Allie."</p><p>"Good." She kissed me again and I left my office. As I drove off to pick up Debbie and her friend I couldn't help the smile on my face. I couldn't believe this was all real. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>My shift was almost over so I was rushing to finish everything I had to do and trying to get out before Franky saw me and asked more questions. It might have been too much to ask, she was waiting for me at the staff lockers.</p><p>"Don't you have a kitchen to run?" I asked.</p><p>"I have a capable staff, I want details."</p><p>"No way, you were the one trying to keep us apart."</p><p>"I was trying to help Red, protect her from anything that can hurt her. But seeing as you convinced her to join the land of lady lovers then maybe I can cut you some slack. But I meant what I said, she's obviously smitten towards you, but if you hurt her-"</p><p>"Yeah yeah, I know. I won't hurt her. I'd die before I ever did anything to cause her harm."</p><p>"You guys make me sick."</p><p>I laughed and just as I was about to leave and turned around, "What is it with you and Kaz?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I know how you two met, but that doesn't explain why she was trying to keep me away from Bea."</p><p>"What did she say to you?"</p><p>"Nothing, that's the problem. All she said was for me not to get involved because of Bea's past and that I should ask you for clarification. And then she said that it was for the best that she didn't get involved. So what is it?"</p><p>I saw Franky lose her confidence for a split second, like I touched a nerve. "Listen Blondie, whatever business Kaz and I have is between me and her. Red's past isn't for me to talk about. She'll tell you when she's ready. But I will say this, you claim to care about her and that you would never do anything to hurt her. You better stick to that bold statement, because when Red finally trusts you enough to tell you about her past, and you decide to judge her or bolt, you're going to have hell to pay." </p><p>"Why do you and Kaz assume the worst. Why do you assume that whatever she tells me will make me run? I have a past too, Franky. A past I'm petrified to tell her about because I know good people like Bea wouldn't stick around to be with a person like me. There is nothing she could say that would change the way I see her."</p><p>"I should hope so, because this is the first time I have ever seen her like this. Happy with someone else. Don't fuck it up." Franky left me alone, angry, and confused. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I picked Deb and her friend up and dropped Amanda off at home. Debbie and I drove in silence, I didn't mind it, I was still thinking about everything that happened today. We got to our driveway and walked into the house. I put my bag down and asked Debbie if she was hungry. </p><p>"Do you even know me?" She asked offended.</p><p>"I still don't understand how you eat so much and still look like that."</p><p>"I'm a rare breed."</p><p>"Do you want me to order a pizza?" I asked.</p><p>Deb looked at me curiously, "You want to order a pizza, on a week day?"</p><p>"Sure, why not?"</p><p>"Because anytime I try to do that you always give me the 'there's food at the house' excuse."</p><p>"Well, I don't feel like cooking today and I could use some pizza too."</p><p>Debbie came and sat down next me, "What's going on with you today?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"You're like really happy today, like really happy. It's not a bad thing, I love when you're happy but it just seems new I guess. Like generally you would have been upset that you had to leave work or something. But you've been smiling since you picked Amanda and I up. Again, not a bad thing, it's just, I haven't seen that smile in a long time."</p><p>I thought about what I should say for a while. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell Debbie about Allie and I yet. I mean we were just starting, we weren't even an actual couple yet. I wasn't sure how Debbie was going to react, she wasn't homophobic but maybe she wouldn't be comfortable with the idea of her mother with another woman. Hell, I wasn't even too comfortable with the idea until recently. But I didn't like keeping secrets from Deb, we made a promise to not do that to each other. We were stronger together and being honest with each other gave us that strength. </p><p>"Okay well, let's just say that I've met someone that-"</p><p>"Oh my God, you have a boyfriend. Mom! You never said anything. Who is he, how'd you guys meet?"</p><p>I sighed, "Deb, I don't have a boyfriend. This person that I met isn't a man."</p><p>I waited for her to get what I was trying to say until it finally dawned on her what I was trying to say. "You mean, you have a girlfriend?"</p><p>"No, she's not my girlfriend. She's a waitress at the restaurant and we started to get close and I started to realize that she liked me and that I liked her too. Is that, okay?"</p><p>"Why wouldn't it be?"</p><p>"Because she's a she and-"</p><p>"Mom, I want you to be happy. It doesn't matter with who, or what their gender is. I guess I just assumed it would have been a man because of dad but there's nothing wrong with it being a woman. I mean Franky's gay and she's super cool."</p><p>"I don't think I'll ever be super cool like Franky." I laughed. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"</p><p>"You deserve to be happy after everything that asshole did to you."</p><p>"Deb, he's still your dad."</p><p>"No he's not. He's nothing to me. You deserve to be happy with whoever you want. If that happens to be a woman then even better. I don't think I could ever trust another guy with you anyway. So what's her name?"</p><p>"Allie." I smiled.</p><p>"Well if she can make you smile like that with just mentioning her name then she must be special."</p><p>I laughed and hugged Debbie, "thank you."</p><p>"Nothing to be thankful for, you deserve it. So when can I meet her?"</p><p>"You want to meet her?"</p><p>"Of course. Even if I may like her already, she needs to get my seal of approval first."</p><p>"Great." I rolled my eyes. "Wouldn't take much. All she'd have to do would be to get you food and you'd be set."</p><p>"Hey no fair, also what happened to the pizza you said you were going to order?"</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I was washing some dishes in my apartment when I heard a notification from my phone. I went to go check and saw it was a message from Bea. </p><p>~Hey. I want to thank you for today. I'm sorry I ever made you worry. I really like you Allie and enjoyed what we did in my office.~</p><p>I smiled and quickly typed back, ~I'm the one that should be thanking you for giving me a chance. I can't wait to take you out on that date I promised. How does Saturday night sound?"~</p><p>~Sounds great. Also I told Debbie about us. She was getting curious as to why I was so happy.~</p><p>~What did she say?~</p><p>~She wants to meet you.~</p><p>~I'm not going to lie, I'm a bit nervous but I would love to meet Debbie too.~</p><p>~You could just use that famous Novak charm.~</p><p>~Well, it did work on you.~</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I had just finished up with my last client. I locked up my office and the clinic. I walked towards my car when I heard someone yell something that sounded like my name. I turned around and saw Franky hanging around. </p><p>"What are you doing here Franky?"</p><p>"I'm a little hurt Gidget. I gave you my number and never got a call back. You made me have to go all stalker. I googled you and found where you worked."</p><p>"Bridget." I corrected.</p><p>"I prefer Gidget." She smiled. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. I didn't want to get sucked into another girl who just wanted to have fun. I know the reason Franky came all the way down here was because she wasn't used to be turned down. I wasn't going to be another conquest. I wanted something real. </p><p>"Well, Franky it was nice seeing you again."</p><p>"Woah, hold on. That's it?"</p><p>I shrugged. </p><p>"Come on Gidge, I came all this way. The least you could do is take me out for a drink."</p><p>"I've had a long day Franky. And I have an early morning tomorrow."</p><p>"Then some other time. Saturday?"</p><p>"I'm good." </p><p>"So what, I'm not good enough for the hot doctor, is that it?"</p><p>"It has nothing to do with that Franky. I can't do casual. Am I wrong in assuming that your flirtation had more to do with trying to get into my pants than actually trying to know me? And if I went for that drink with you right now, I would never see you again. I can't do no strings attached. I'm probably your nightmare, a girl who wants the relationship, the exclusivity, the stability. So, I'm going to save both of us a headache." I unlocked my car, put my bags in the back and went to get into the front seat. I felt a hand grab mine and before I knew it Franky was kissing me. I felt hot all over. I couldn't help myself, I kissed her back. We fought for control but ultimately I let her win. She pulled my bottom lip with her teeth as we separated. I looked into her eyes and struggled to say anything. </p><p>"Goodnight Gidge, I'll be expecting a text with your address on it. See you Saturday." She winked at me and walked away. </p><p>I was so screwed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I added some Bridget POV because I love Fridget almost as much as I love Ballie so there will be moments like that in this story. But this is still 100% a Ballie story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Past Lives Pt. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p><p>I knew I looked like a grinning idiot but I couldn't help myself, it was Friday, which meant one more day until my date with Bea. I still couldn't believe my luck, I was going on a date with my dream girl, Bea Smith. I stopped at the coffee shop where she usually got coffee from, I ordered her a coffee and a coffee muffin because she said she liked it. I also got coffees for Franky, Liz, Boomer, and Doreen. They have truly made me feel like family since I started working and I just wanted to show my appreciation. </p><p>I gave everyone downstairs their coffees and they all said various thank you's. Boomer even gave me a big bear hug which caused me to struggle to breathe for a minute but was cute. I went upstairs and knocked on Franky's opened door. </p><p>"G'day, for my second favorite boss." I said putting the coffee down on her desk.</p><p>"Aww blondie, if a root was all you needed to get back into a good mood, I could have helped you with that." She winked. </p><p>"Thanks for the offer Franks, but you're not my type."</p><p>"The offer still stands, you'll be bringing me more than coffee when I'm done with you."</p><p>"Get fucked Franky." I laughed.</p><p>"I'm trying Novak."</p><p>"We got a problem?" I turned my head around and saw Bea standing by the doorway. She was wearing black slacks with a tight white button up and her jacket was off so you could see the outline of her breasts. I could feel the heat rush up to my face. </p><p>"No problem Red. Just making sure your girl knew all her options." Franky smirked.</p><p>"You're right Franky, she's MY girl. So piss off." Bea stated. I didn't know if I thought it was sweet or sexy that she called me her girl. Definitely sexy, I was so turned on. </p><p>"Where were you hiding this version of yourself Red? I like it. Now don't go twisting your panties in a bunch, I was just teasing. Plus, I got a hot date tomorrow night."</p><p>"Funny, so do we." Bea winked and grabbed my hand and pulled me into her office. I heard Franky yell something dirty but I didn't really register what she said, because Bea was holding my hand. She closed the door in her office and I went to give her her coffee and muffin. She smiled and took it from me. </p><p>"Thank you Allie." </p><p>"Anytime, to see a smile like that." </p><p>"So what was that with Franky?"</p><p>"Franky was just being Franky. What? Oh, don't tell me you're jealous?" I laughed.</p><p>"I'm not jealous." She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"You are a horrible liar." I got close to her and pushed her against her desk. "I thought you would have gotten the hint already, I'm not into Franky." I kissed her sensually. I kissed down her neck and cupped one of her breasts, "I'm into you." She put her arms around me and kissed me with full force. I wrapped one of her legs around my waist and pushed her onto the desk, knocking over some things. I leaned into her ear and whispered, "And the way you said I was your girl was such a turn on. I could have fucked you right then and there." I heard her moan and I kissed her again. "I can't wait for our date tomorrow, to be alone with you, with no interruptions. I booked a reservation for this really great Italian restaurant. It's on the other side of town and really cute, just like you." I kissed her on her nose. "Well babe, I better get to work before I get on cranky Franky's bad side again." I kissed her on the lips once more and left her office. I waved at Franky who just rolled her eyes and I went downstairs. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was enjoying kissing and touching Allie, allowing myself to be touched by Allie, but her mentioning what a turn on it was when I called her 'my' girl and what she felt like doing to me because of it made me excited but it also made me nervous. Allie didn't know about me and Harry, the full extent. Hell, she didn't even know half of it. Our marriage wasn't just physical, emotional, and mental abuse, as if that wasn't bad enough. It was also sexual abuse. I was allowing myself to experience new things with Allie, that I have never experienced with anyone. And I want to keep experiencing them, I want to be comfortable enough with Allie to relay what she feels sexually about me. I feel things when she touches me but I'm scared to go any further. What if it stops, what if we're in the middle of it and I go back to that place. I go back to feeling like I did when I was with Harry. It was never enjoyable with Harry, even in the beginning. He tried to be gentle but he was always too rough and once Debbie was born I lost any sexual drive I had, which was already minimal. He was frustrated that I didn't want sex and would take it anyway. I thought the beatings were bad, but nothing ever really compared to feeling him forcing himself on me. </p><p>I was taken out of my thoughts by a knock on my door, "Come in."</p><p>"Hey Red, I hope you know I was just joking earlier with Blondie. You know I'd never do that to you. Especially someone who makes you smile the way you have been recently." Franky grinned.</p><p>"I know Franky." I smiled sadly. </p><p>Franky must have noticed my distance because she came in and closed the door behind her. "Alright, what's up your bum? You and Novak were all smiles and now you look like someone killed your cat."</p><p>"Wonderful visual Franky." I crossed my arms and sighed. "It's nothing, it's just- she doesn't know, about him."</p><p>"Yeah, but you knew that already. And I've given her a hell of a hard time about judging you about it but I reckon she won't be scared off easily. I mean if I haven't scared her off yet, nothing will."</p><p>"That's not what I mean Franky. She likes to touch me when she kisses me, and I like it too, but, I don't think I can do it."</p><p>It took a moment, but she got what I was trying to say. "Aw Red, I don't think she'd push you to do anything you weren't comfortable with. She's head over heels for you. She'd wait years if that's what you needed."</p><p>"I just, I don't want her to think that I'm leading her on because I'm not. I do like her, a lot, but I'm nervous about possibly doing it. I don't even know what to do."</p><p>"It's not hard Red, trust. See you got your fingers and then your tongue-"</p><p>"Shut up." I laughed. "I don't want to know, please."</p><p>"Your loss, but if you ever need pointers, you know who to come to."</p><p>"Mmm, tempting, I'll pass for now though. But what about you, when are you going to stop being a player and finally settle down?"</p><p>She smiled for a bit and I saw a hint of a blush on her cheeks.</p><p>"You cheeky bugger." I laughed. "Who is it? Come on, spit it out."</p><p>"Gidget."</p><p>"Gidge-?" I stopped mid word and realized it must be a nickname for a certain Dr. "You mean Bridget?"</p><p>"Nah, Gidget sounds better."</p><p>"So when and how?"</p><p>"Well, I went to go find her after work. I had given her my number and I got no call back."</p><p>"How dare she." I joked. </p><p>"Right? So I tried talking to her for a bit and of course she couldn't resist me after all and I'm taking her out tomorrow night." She smiled. </p><p>"Couldn't resist you? Yeah that's why she didn't call you as soon as you had given her your number the day she came in huh?"</p><p>"Shut up, what would you know?"</p><p>"The day I took off, I used it to go talk some things through with Bridget and your name was brought up."</p><p>"What'd you say?" She asked curiously. </p><p>"Can't answer that, doctor patient confidentiality."</p><p>"That doesn't apply to you idiot." She laughed. </p><p>"Look, all I can say is I'm glad she's giving you an opportunity." I walked over to her. "But Franky, don't screw it up. She's one of the good ones. She's kind and caring, she's a wonderful person. And so are you. And I know, that if you put that great heart, and that stubborn head to it, you two could be wonderful together."</p><p>"Ah don't get all sentimental on me, you know I hate that."</p><p>I went over and hugged her, which she tried to fight off. "I love you Franky Doyle. You've been given a great opportunity, don't waste it.</p><p>"Okay okay, get off."</p><p>I laughed as I let her go. </p><p>THE NEXT DAY </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was a complete nervous wreck. I had butterflies in my stomach and I felt like throwing up. Debbie was laughing at me telling me I was overreacting. I couldn't decide what to wear. Allie had texted me last night telling me not to overthink, that whatever I would wear would be fine and I'd be beautiful regardless. I was still getting used to these type of compliments, they still made me blush. I had spent the morning in the salon with Maxine. She redyed my hair and straightened it. We spoke about everything that had happened since the last time we had seen each other and she was so happy for me. She couldn't contain her excitement, it's like she was the one going on the date instead of me. She painted my finger and toenails black, and wished me luck. </p><p>I was doing my makeup when Debbie came in looking through my closet.</p><p>"Little miss, your closet and your room are that way." I said pointing out my door. </p><p>"I'm helping you out. You're taking forever to decide and you're making me nervous with all your pacing." She pulled out different outfits and we decided on a black pencil dress to go with my nails. She pulled out some black strappy heels from a box I had in my closet. "These are so cute, how come you've never shown me these. I would have loved to borrow them."</p><p>I got up and grabbed them from her, "Because they are mine. And I never had a reason to wear them."</p><p>"Well, you do tonight." She smiled. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I couldn't believe I had agreed to this. But Franky was so damn hard to say no to. She wouldn't stop, and I secretly didn't want her to. I decided to go with a dark blue dress with a slit in it. I had bought it a while ago and just found a reason to wear it. I had just finished putting on my lipstick when I heard the doorbell ring. I checked the time and it was 7:00pm on the dot. Punctual, I appreciated that. I looked at myself in the mirror once more, took a deep breath, and tried to shake the nerves off. </p><p>I opened the door and found myself face to face with a very dashing Franky Doyle in a black women's tuxedo jumpsuit. It fit her really well. </p><p>"Oi Gidge, you're gonna give a girl a heart attack." She smiled. She pulled some flowers from behind her. White roses. </p><p>"Thank you Franky, they're beautiful. They're my favorites, how'd you know?" I asked.</p><p>"Red might have mentioned something." She smiled again. </p><p>"Well thank you Franky, it was very thoughtful." I opened the door wider to let her in while I put the roses in water. </p><p>"Nice place Gidge."</p><p>"Thank you." I walked back towards her and noticed her very openly checking me out. I whistled to get her attention, "Hey, eyes up here."</p><p>"Just taking it all in Gidge." She smiled that cheeky smile again. </p><p>"Shall we?" I asked. </p><p>"We shall." I followed her out and went to lock the door. When I turned around Franky pushed me up against the door and suddenly had her lips on mine. I moaned into her mouth and let her kiss me. We had only done this once before but I was quickly addicted to her lips on mine. When we parted she lifted her thumb to wipe the side of my lip. </p><p>"Sorry, I just really needed to know what your lipstick tasted like." She winked and grabbed hold of my hand as we walked to her car. </p><p>Allie POV</p><p>It was 7:00pm and I was knocking on Bea's door. I had been in my car for the last 10 minutes regaining my cool. I was meeting Debbie today, that was even more nerve wrecking than going on the date with Bea. I had flowers for Bea and a box of chocolates for Debbie. </p><p>I waited a bit when the picture from Bea's office was standing in front of me in the flesh. She looked identical to Bea with dark brown hair. "Uh, hi, I'm-"</p><p>"Allie." She interrupted. "I know who you are. I'm Debbie."</p><p>I smiled, "I know who you are too." I gave her the box of chocolates, "these are for you. Your mom mentioned you liked sweets. Now, I am not trying to win you over with bribes, I'm just hoping to maybe get some brownie points though."</p><p>She smiled and took the box. </p><p>"And these are for your mom." I said suggesting to the peonies in my hand. </p><p>She looked surprised, "Wow, they're beautiful. I don't think she's ever gotten flowers before. That's really nice."</p><p>I said it was no problem and then I saw Bea come towards the door. I felt my jaw drop. </p><p>"You better pick it up and wipe the drool off of your face." Debbie joked. </p><p>I nervously laughed. "Hey, you look amazing." I went int to give her a hug and gave her the flowers. </p><p>"Oh Allie, they're beautiful. Thank you. Let me put these in a vase and then we could go." </p><p>I checked her out as she walked away, not quick enough though, Debbie saw me. "I hope you have good intentions Allie. I like you already, but please take care of her. She hasn't gone on a date in years. So please, watch out for her. And keep your hands to yourself." She joked. </p><p>"Promise boss."</p><p>Bea came back with her bag. "Okay, ready to go? I hope my security guard hasn't been giving you a hard time."</p><p>"Nah, just a chat." I answered back. </p><p>"Alright sweetheart, call me if you need anything. I left you money so you could order food. Be careful, no parties." She kissed Debbie on the head.</p><p>"Damn, I was about to start making calls. I love you."</p><p>"To the moon and back."</p><p>We walked out of her house and I walked her to my car. I opened the door for her and closed it once she got it. I got in and leaned over, "Let me just say, you do look amazing. But, you look sexy as hell too. I'm struggling to keep my eyes off of you."</p><p>"Well, you better try, I don't want you to crash." She laughed. </p><p>"Could I at least get some incentive?" I asked. </p><p>She smiled and leaned forward. We kissed slowly. I felt her hand on my side bringing me forward. When we stopped she smiled at me, "Incentive enough?"</p><p>"More than."</p><p>We drove off to the Italian restaurant I had told her about and while we were talking I unconsciously put my hand on her thigh. I could hear her breath hitch and inwardly grinned. She interlaced her hand into mine. When we got near the restaurant I found some available parking across the street. I helped her out of the car and when we got near then entrance, I pulled her into a near lit alley. I pushed her up against the wall and kissed her as hard as I wanted to the moment I saw her. I slipped my tongue into her mouth and heard her moan into the kiss. I put my hands on her ass and while she had her arms wrapped around me. "Damn, I was trying to make a good impression but I already broke my first promise to Debbie."</p><p>"And what promise was that?"</p><p>"That I'd keep my hands to myself." I smiled.</p><p>"Well, I'm glad you broke it. Maybe, we can keep this little secret to ourselves."</p><p>"Sure, our hot little secret." I kissed her once more before we headed inside. I gave my name and we were given a table with a really great view of the city. I pulled Bea's chair out so she could sit down. </p><p>"It's a beautiful view Allie." </p><p>"It's more than beautiful," I said looking at her. "Oh yeah, but that views good too."</p><p>We sat down and waited to order. I could tell she was nervous because she did this thing where she was closing her fist and opening it trying to relax. I put my hand into hers and told her to relax. "You're cute when you're nervous."</p><p>She smiled again, "Sorry, I'm just not used to all of this."</p><p>"Well, get used to it. Because I will spend the rest of my days taking you out on nice dates, giving you compliments, and doing everything I can to make you blush." I grinned. </p><p>"I hate it when I blush. I turn all pink and red and I can't control it."</p><p>"That's my favorite part."</p><p>We ordered, talked, and waited for our food to arrive. I may not have been showing it, but I was nervous too. I had decided earlier on that I was going to tell Bea about my past, about my previous occupation. I couldn't start anything serious with Bea without her knowing. I couldn't lie. </p><p>"Bea, I wanted to talk to you about some things. Things concerning me and my past. I really like you Bea, and I know you know that already. But, I don't want to keep things from you. It's nothing I'm proud of, and I don't want to make excuses. I guess I'm just afraid of what your perception of me would be once you knew the truth."</p><p>She looked over at me and squeezed my hand, "Nothing you could say could ever change the way I see you Allie."</p><p>"You say that now." I nervously laughed. I took a sip of wine and sighed. "Okay, I guess it's better to start from the beginning huh?"</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>"Okay so, I came from what seemed like a normal family you know? Mom, dad, older brother, younger sister, me. We looked like the damn Brady Bunch. My dad always wanted things to be perfect and I did everything I could to make him and my mom happy. But it was never good enough, I wasn't as smart as my brother, and I wasn't as athletic as my sister. No matter what happened, no matter what I did, I always fell short. I've always known I liked girls. Boys never really interested me, and as I got older my attraction to girls grew stronger. When I was 17, my mom caught me and my best friend making out in my room. I was shitting bricks for hours, worried about what my dad would do. He had a heavy fist and sometimes he would smack us around, so I was prepared for that. But, he came home and stayed quiet. He never said a thing to me. He waited, and gave me the silent treatment for weeks. I think I would have preferred the beating. But he waited until I graduated high school, the night I graduated I came home to one bag packed. He thew it at me and told me to get the hell out of his house, no daughter of his would be a dyke. I remember looking at my mom, hoping, praying, that she would say something, anything to defend me. But she stayed quiet, my siblings never said a thing, and I left. I stayed with a friend for a while but she moved on, went to Uni so I had to figure things out for myself. I was homeless for a while, sleeping in door ways and alley's."</p><p>"Hey, you're an Allie-cat." Bea tried to lighten the mood a bit. </p><p>I genuinely laughed at what she said, "Love a woman with a good sense of humor Bea. But here comes the hard part, again, after what I say, you have no obligation to stay here and even finish having dinner with me. I would understand. I struggled, for a really long time to find shelter and food. I would stay at shelters from time to time but they kick you out after a couple of weeks, especially if you don't find a job and try to make a life for yourself. I used to hang out by this main street, and this woman would always come by. She was blonde, and she would be wearing these great outfits, like the ones that power badass women wear. She'd stop by everyday and give me food. Sometimes she'd stop to talk to me, and I told her about being kicked out and stuff. She was really sympathetic, and offered me a place to stay. I don't know how it happened but I fell in love with her I guess. But it wasn't some kind of romantic movie fall in love, it was toxic and fucking horrible. I thought that what she felt for me was true love too but, she was a madame. She ran brothels and sold girls, she sold me. I was working for her and letting men do whatever they wanted to me, I struggled a lot in the beginning because I didn't want to do it. So she offered me gear, she said it would help calm my nerves and help me get through it. I got hooked, I became addicted to it. I couldn't stop using and she would just pump me up with drugs and throw me out to those men. She would let them do whatever they wanted to me. I lived that for years, and one night she and I got into a fight and I ran off and found myself in a shelter. That's where I met Kaz. There was something about Kaz that I trusted and I told her everything, she helped me. She got me off the gear and away from Marie. But it's like Marie, had this hold on me, I couldn't control it. All she'd have to do was look at me, stoke my hair, and kiss me and it was over for me, I did whatever she wanted. I went back and forth for so long before I truly realized that she didn't love me. That I probably didn't even really love her, she was using me to make money. Kaz helped me through all of it. She got me clean each and every time, she held my hair when I threw up and took care of me. She was like a real mom, she treated me like I was her kid and she held me tight when I was going through withdrawal. But I got clean for good and stopped hooking years ago. I know this is a lot, and like I said, you have no obligation to stay here with me, I will drive you home right now if that is what you want."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I took in everything Allie told me and couldn't believe that such a bright and beautiful young girl had lived such a hard life. She deserved better, so much better. It broke my heart to hear her story and I know how hard it must have been for her. "I'm not going anywhere. You did what you had to do under the circumstances you were in. No one can blame you for that, what Marie did to you was awful. She took advantage of your love, and you heart, and it makes me hate her for it. It also makes me love Kaz for taking care of you the way she did. You are probably the strongest person I've met."</p><p>"So you aren't disgusted with me?"</p><p>"Disgusted? No, I'm proud of you for overcoming all of it, and becoming the woman you are now. I do have one question though."</p><p>"Shoot."</p><p>"You're 100% clean. You're off the gear for good?"</p><p>"Yes. I got clean 3 years ago and I have never looked back. I don't want that life anymore. I don't want to be that person anymore."</p><p>"Good, then that's all I needed to know. Thank you for telling me all of this and trusting me enough to tell me. And if you could trust me to tell me about your past, then I can trust you and tell you about mine."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, so originally I was going to keep this at one part but I realized it was getting fairly long so I'm splitting it up into two. The next update should be up very soon. Ty.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Past Lives Pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p>
<p>I was still scared to tell Allie all of my past and about my marriage, but if she could tell me about her past, then I could garner up the courage to tell her about mine. </p>
<p>"My dad was a pisshead, it was just me, mom and him. When he got drunk he would get aggressive, more so at my mom than me. All I wanted was to get out the house, more than anything. My dad was a complete control freak. Going to university was my only chance of gaining real freedom. Maxine and I had gone to high school together and she was the one that pushed me to go to uni. She was going to cosmetology school and said that the only way I could try to get some freedom was by going to school away from my parents. I got accepted into the University of Melbourne to major in the arts. I loved to draw and paint, my dad said it was a waste of time because I couldn't do anything with that form of education. While I was in the library one day, I ran into a boy a year older than me. Harry was 19 and I was 18. He was charming and kind, he was going to uni for architecture and he said that I had a great eye for art. He would tell me all the things I guess I wanted to hear from my dad. That I was smart, that I was a wonderful artist. I had never really had a boy pay attention to me before and he seemed so keen to want to be with me. We went out for a while and he was my first everything really, first boy I kissed, first man I slept with, first marriage, father of my kid. He was nice for a while, I got pregnant with Debbie when I was 21. Harry immediately asked me to marry him, and he told me to leave school. He said that he could take care of me and Deb, because he had already graduated, he had also gotten a job that paid well. My dad was already angry that I had had sex before marriage and told me not to be an idiot. To drop out and let Harry be a man and take care of me the way one should. I didn't want to do it, but I felt like I had no choice. I remember asking my mom for advice and she told me to follow what my dad and Harry wanted. Maxine tried to talk me out of it but I felt like I had all this pressure on me. I agreed and before I knew it Harry and I were married. I thought I was happy, that I got what I wanted. I mean every woman's dream should be to get married to the man they love and have kids, but I just always felt like something was missing. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, because I also struggled with being intimate with Harry. He just thought that it had something to do with my inexperience and that he could show me how great sex could be. But when I was pregnant with Deb, I was sick through most of it, sex was the last thing I felt like. So he started hitting me, putting his hands on me. It started as just some shoves here and there, some slaps, and then after Debbie was born everything got worse. He beat me, all the time. Said he was sorry, would stop for a couple of weeks and start doing it again. He would force himself on me whenever he felt like it which ruined the image of sex for me. As Debbie got older, he started throwing it in my face that he was paying all the bills and that I didn't do anything. That's when Maxine offered me the job at the hair salon. I went to some late classes to get my certification. Harry still shit on that whenever he got the chance, even if it did help pay bills from time to time. Harry went from a decent guy to an asshole who made me feel like I didn't matter, like I was worthless. It got bad, really bad. He almost beat me to death, Franky stopped him, and after months of grueling conversations with police officers and court dates, Harry was sentenced 25 years to life at Walford. He's there now and it's been a tough couple of years trying to get back on my feet but here I am."</p>
<p>Allie never took her eyes off of me. She listened and never interrupted. "Bea, I am so sorry. You deserved so much better. Harry is a prick who never deserved you. Men like him put their hands on women because they aren't real men. You are not worthless. You are spectacular and the strongest person I have ever met. You matter so much. And Harry is lucky he is locked up, I'd do some real damage if I had the chance."</p>
<p>I laughed through my tears, "Yeah right."</p>
<p>"Hey I could totally kick some ass." </p>
<p>I laughed some more and looked at her, "So, I didn't scare you away?"</p>
<p>"Are you kidding babe, it would take a whole lot more to even make me consider running. This made me admire you even more. It just reaffirmed my belief that you are an amazing woman and an even more amazing mother."</p>
<p>"Thank you Allie."</p>
<p>"He never-touched Debbie right?"</p>
<p>"Absolutely not, I would have died before I'd let him touch her. He always loved Deb, and usually if he wanted to really hurt me, he'd wait until she was at a friends house. He didn't want her to know what he was. He always wanted to be a good father, and he was, he treated her like a princess."</p>
<p>"Did Deb know what was going on?"</p>
<p>"Not all of it, she still doesn't know all of it. She knew he would get angry and push me around. And she'd see the bruises but I always told her never to worry about it. The older she got the more she understood, and she hated when he'd hit me. But she doesn't know about the sexual parts of our marriage. I don't think I ever want her to know. She already looks at me with this sympathy that makes me feel overwhelmed at times, I couldn't bare if she knew about what he did when she was gone."</p>
<p>"You're protecting her, you're her mom, it's understandable Bea. But what Harry did to you, it wasn't sex. When I was working, I used to shut myself off, just let it happen. That's the main reason I would use gear, to not think about it, but that's not sex either. That was just fucking. Good sex, real sex, it's in here too." She touched the side of my face and I could feel my face burn up. </p>
<p>"I guess that was where most of my nervousness was coming from. Allie, I have loved talking with you and when you kiss me I feel things I've never felt before. I'm just afraid that, whenever we take that next step in being intimate, that I'll disappoint you."</p>
<p>"Bea, you could never disappoint me. I know it's going to take time for you to get comfortable enough to be intimate with me, and I am willing to wait as long as it takes. You are the woman of my dreams, the fact that you and I are sitting here still shocks me now. I would wait forever."</p>
<p>I felt like crying again. "I don't deserve you."</p>
<p>"You're right, you deserve better. But I hope I'll do." She said sheepishly. </p>
<p>"There's that Novak charm, always does the trick you cheeky bugger." </p>
<p>Franky POV </p>
<p>I brought Gidge to this great steak house near her place, a friend of mine was the owner, we had gone to culinary school together. "I would have taken you to my restaurant but you've already eaten there. Didn't want you to get overwhelmed by the fantastic food and the fantastic date."</p>
<p>"Are you always so bold?"</p>
<p>"That's the best part about me."</p>
<p>"Mmhm. So tell me about you Franky. I know you are a great chef and an enormous flirt, but what else is under that tough girl exterior?"</p>
<p>"Jumping straight to the point I see. Well, I had a rocky childhood, if that's what you can call it. I used to get in trouble all the time but I had a teacher who used to tell me that I should find an outlet to help me keep me out of trouble. I started cooking in high school, they offered a culinary class and I realized it was something I had a passion for. Saved enough money after culinary school and working at a good amount of restaurants to finally open up my own place. I got a great place, great job, now I just need a great girl." I winked at her. </p>
<p>She grinned, "Well, I'll have to take that into consideration."</p>
<p>"What about you Gidge?"</p>
<p>"I've been a psychologist for almost 20 years. I run a private practice with my best friend Vera, you met her when we went to your restaurant. We met in college and we both had a passion to one day own our own place, work for ourselves. I used to work in correctional facilities, helping with their recidivism programs trying to get people to work harder at keeping what was done in the past in the past, and working towards a better future that included reducing the chances or reoffending. I left almost 5 years ago ago and went into business with Vera. Here I am now."</p>
<p>"Ooo you worked with the crims. You must have been one hot prison psych." I joked.</p>
<p>She jokingly scoffed, "I was there to work Franky, not hit on prisoners."</p>
<p>"I would have hit on you."</p>
<p>"I believe you."</p>
<p>"To tell you the truth, I think a fear of mine would be getting locked up. Don't know if I could do it. I'm a bit of a hot head, I started going to anger management classes a couple of years ago and now I'm like totally zen."</p>
<p>Bridget let out a loud laugh which made me smile even more. </p>
<p>"So why are you single Gidge? You're hot, smart, beautiful."</p>
<p>"I was in a relationship before. We were together for a bit, but I guess I had certain hangups about my past that she didn't appreciate or couldn't understand. She cheated on me and that's usually enough for me to walk away. I've been single for nearly a year. And I don't think I have to ask why you're single."</p>
<p>"Ouch, you wound me. Look I just never saw myself as the relationship type. But, as I've gotten older, I've gotten tired of the bullshit. I want something real, and I can see it happening with you."</p>
<p>"Franky..."</p>
<p>"What? I like you Gidge, a lot."</p>
<p>"I don't want to play games, I'm too old for that."</p>
<p>"Oi, I don't want to hear about any of that. And who said I'm playing?"</p>
<p>"So you mean to tell me there wasn't a tiny piece of you that saw me not calling you as a challenge? Something you could tackle or accomplish?"</p>
<p>"Maybe in the beginning, but I like you Gidge. I mean, I got all dressed up and took you to one of my best mates restaurant. I don't do that for just anyone." </p>
<p>"I don't want to start something that's going to leave me heartbroken."</p>
<p>"I'd never do that to ya. And your ex was an idiot for cheating, I couldn't imagine looking at anyone else after having you by my side." I think that did it, that fully reeled her in. She smiled and tried to hide her excitement. I reached over to grab her hand. Part of me was scared about doing this whole relationship thing, but there was something about her I couldn't put my finger on. She was the one for me, I just knew it.</p>
<p>Allie POV</p>
<p>To say that tonight was tough would have been an understatement. Bea and I spoke about some really heavy stuff. But I was glad that she trusted me enough to let me in, I know how hard that must have been. But after hearing her story, it just made me admire her even more. We shared dessert and when we walked out of the restaurant, I put my jacket around her. </p>
<p>"Such a gentleman." She joked. </p>
<p>"How can I not be when I have the most beautiful woman in the world with me? It would be a crime not to be a complete gentleman." I drove her back to her place, she had her head on my shoulder as I drove and I felt at ease. When we parked outside her house I looked over at her. "I really want to kiss you."</p>
<p>"You don't have to ask Allie, don't tip toe around me."</p>
<p>"Good." I leaned over and captured her lips with mine. I felt her take control of the kiss and I moaned when I felt her tongue slip into my mouth. She had her hand on my thigh while she moved down to my neck. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy the moment. "God, Bea. What are you doing to me?" I felt her suck on my neck while she slowly moved her hand to feel up my breast. "Bea, you're going to leave a mark."</p>
<p>She smiled and kept sucking on my neck, "I thought you liked the idea of people knowing you were mine."</p>
<p>"Fuck." The idea of walking around with hickey's made by Bea letting everyone know I was hers turned me on in so many ways. I put my fingers through her hair and brought her lips back to mine. "You are driving me insane. I can't think properly."</p>
<p>"Good, now you know how I feel." She smiled back and kissed me again. Once we stopped acting like horny teenagers I walked her to her door and wished her goodnight. We kissed a bit more at her doorstep until we saw the outdoor lights turn on. </p>
<p>"I said hands to yourself!" We heard Debbie yell. </p>
<p>I couldn't contain my laugher and Bea put her head on my shoulder in embarrassment. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry." Bea apologized. </p>
<p>"Don't be, she loves her mom." I kissed her quickly on the lips. "I really enjoyed tonight Bea."</p>
<p>"Me too. Let me know when you get home."</p>
<p>"I will, and thank you." I squeezed her hand. </p>
<p>She nodded and I saw her go inside. I walked back to my car and looked myself in the mirror before driving away. I saw the dark marks on my neck and smiled to myself. </p>
<p>Bridget POV </p>
<p>My date with Franky went better than I expected. Maybe Bea was right, I shouldn't underestimate her. She was kind and funny, I hadn't felt this good with someone in a long time. She drove me home and walked me to my doorstep. I had every intention in making her wait before letting her into bed with me, I wanted her to really work for it but feeling her lips on mine, pressing me against my door, and her hands all over my body, I couldn't think straight. I didn't want to give in just to prove to myself that I could resist her but I don't think I could. She was so damn irresistible. The second she put her lips on a sensitive spot on my neck it was over for me. </p>
<p>"Franky...if you keep doing that-don't start something you can't finish."</p>
<p>She nipped my ear and whispered, "Who said I won't finish?" She grabbed my ass and kissed me again. </p>
<p>I used one of my hands to stabilize myself against the door frame. "Fuck...Franky." </p>
<p>She moved one of her hands up my leg, getting closer to my thigh. At this point, I could care less about my 3 date rule, I wanted Franky. "Franky hold on, behave or I'm not letting you inside."</p>
<p>She grinned that cheeky grin that I found absolutely captivating. "I'll behave, I promise. Scouts honor." </p>
<p>I unlocked the door and looked back at her. I leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "I guess you can be a good girl."</p>
<p>I saw the arousal in her eyes and knew I found a weakness in her that I was certainly going to be using. I grabbed her hand and led her inside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Sunday Best</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bridget POV </p><p>I moved my hand to the other side of the bed and felt its emptiness. I closed my eyes and put my hand over my head, great. I got up and went to head to the kitchen when I smelled coffee, bacon and eggs. I stood by my counter and saw Franky cooking in the kitchen, wearing one of my oversized shirts. </p><p>"Morning." I smiled.</p><p>She turned around and smiled back, "Morning Gidge." She came towards me and kissed me. "You thought I had left didn't ya?"</p><p>"No." It was clear she didn't believe me, I rolled my eyes, "Yes."</p><p>"Ye have little faith."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"No worries, I told you I'm not like the rest. And if I wasn't really interested in ya, I probably would have been gone the second you and I had slept together. But, I told you last night Gidge, I like you, a lot. I'm not going anywhere." She put her hands on my hips. "Plus, after what we did last night, I'd be a mad woman to go anywhere else." </p><p>I laughed and kissed her. "Thank you, for everything. And do you know what the best part of all of this is?" I asked wrapping my arms around her neck. </p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"I have my own personal chef." I laughed.</p><p>"Listen, if you keep doing what you did to me last night, I will cook you every single meal for the rest of your life." </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was making Debbie breakfast trying to advert her ridiculous questions about my date last night. She was so curious about everything but especially about how my first kiss with Allie went. What I don't think Deb realized was that that wasn't mine and Allie's first kiss, far from it actually. I smiled thinking about our first kiss, I was so nervous and the thought of it still excited me now. </p><p>"Come on mom. Spill. How was the first kiss?" She asked eagerly.</p><p>I laughed and put the plate of pancakes down in front of her. "You aren't going to let this go are you."</p><p>"Nope." She answered with her mouth full.</p><p>"It was nice, everything was. The date, the kiss, all of it. Allie was a complete gentleman."</p><p>"Good. She seems like she really likes you mom. I'm glad you're happy."</p><p>"I like her too." I smiled. I sat down to eat with her and heard a notification come from my phone.</p><p>~Morning Beautiful. I woke up with the biggest smile on my face thinking of you and everything that happened last night. Thank you for trusting me, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me. It's killing me that neither of us work today and I won't be able to see you until Monday.~</p><p>~Good morning to you too. I'm still thinking about last night too. I loved every moment. And thank you for listening, understanding, and telling me about you. I feel the same way.~</p><p>~Are you doing anything today?~</p><p>~Not really. Debbie is going to a friends house and I was just going to take the bike out to ride for a bit.~</p><p>I got a phone call seconds later coming from Allie. I laughed and answered, "Hello?"</p><p>"Can you repeat that, you're going to what?" Allie asked.</p><p>"I was going to take the bike out to ride for a bit."</p><p>"And when you say bike, are we talking a bicycle or...?"</p><p>"Harley, motorcycle."</p><p>"Bea, I think I just died a bit inside. You ride a motorcycle?"</p><p>"Yes, she's my most prized possession after Debbie of course. I don't know what I would do without it. Riding the bike helps me clear my mind and makes me happy."</p><p>"And when you are riding this piece of happiness, are you wearing leather and stuff?"</p><p>I smirked, "Maybe."</p><p>"Don't tease Bea, I need a pic. Better yet, I need to see this up close and personal."</p><p>I laughed again. "Well how about we do this. You told me that you had plans to go see Kaz for lunch, after you're all done, I could go pick you up. So you can get up close and personal."</p><p>I heard her groan over the phone, "Bea you're killing me here, I can't wait that long. I need to see you now."</p><p>"Patience baby."</p><p>"Fuck, Bea."</p><p>"Send me the address of the restaurant that you and Kaz are going to and a time and I will pick you up."</p><p>"Fine, I'll wait. But you'll have to give me a reward for waiting."</p><p>"I think I can handle that." We hung up and I took a sip of coffee. I looked up and saw Debbie looking at me with a smirk. </p><p>"I may like Allie a lot, but that was gross."</p><p>"Shut up." I laughed. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was strangely liking all of this. Waking up in Bridget's bed, making her breakfast, laying around her place talking and laughing with her. And not to mention, the sex was amazing. I thought I was great, I just met my match. I'm generally a very dominant top, but I let Gidge take some control last night and she did not disappoint. </p><p>What I had told Gidget earlier was true, if I wasn't interested in her I would have dipped as soon as she and I had fucked. I wouldn't even have waited for her to fall asleep, I would have gotten what I wanted and gone. But, the idea of leaving her even for the few minutes I had left to make her breakfast, felt wrong. I wanted to stay in bed with Gidge, but I thought I would come off as needy. </p><p>The only serious relationships I had ever really had were with my ex Kimmy and Erica. Kim was more sex than an actual relationship based on feelings. But, Erica, she had my heart and either didn't know it or didn't care. She was married which should have put me off but I couldn't stay away. I begged her to leave him, me, Franky Doyle begged. But I wished she would have, to show that she loved me, but she stayed with him. Even after all her complaints about how plain their marriage was. Bea said that was part of the reason as to why I slept around so much, because of how Erica left me. </p><p>I hadn't considered relationships or even giving anyone another chance since Erica. And sitting here on the couch with Gidge laying into me made me feel whole. I know it's early days but it felt good, like I was supposed to be here with her. I'll never admit it, not yet anyway. Gidget turned to look at me and kissed me. "What's on your mind baby?"</p><p>"Baby huh?" I asked.</p><p>"Sorry, too soon?"</p><p>"Nah, I like it." I kissed her back. "I really like it. And you know, now that I think about it, I'm kinda hungry." I grinned.</p><p>"You just ate."</p><p>"Mmm, I'm not hungry for food."</p><p>I swiftly pushed her onto her back and moved down her body. I kissed up her legs and up her thighs. I removed her underwear and slowly opened her legs. "It's time to feed puss."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I was waiting for Kaz to pick me up so we could go for lunch. I was starving, and it didn't help that I was also very very horny. The thought of Bea riding a motorcycle, wearing all black and leather looking hot as fuck turned me on. The more and more time went on just kept reminding me how lucky I was to have her, Bea Smith was definitely my dream woman. </p><p>I heard a honk outside and ran out. I jumped into the passenger side and hugged Kaz. "Hey mama."</p><p>"Hey bubba. How've you been?"</p><p>"Great! I've missed you."</p><p>"I missed you too kiddo." </p><p>We spoke about the shelter and the restaurant. Kaz mentioned that they hired some new guy that works with family counseling services but she continued to bring up how annoying she thought he was even though she had failed to mention what was annoying about him. </p><p>When we got seated at the restaurant Kaz went to the bathroom and I pulled my phone out to see a picture from Bea. I opened it and it was Bea dressed in leather pants, jacket, and boots. Along with the picture came the caption, "Just a peek." I almost fainted, she looked so hot. The ideas and fantasies running to my head were not helping. The idea of her coming home dressed like that, pushing me up against a wall, pinning my hands about my head, and fucking me was all I could think about. I wanted her more and more. I saw Kaz come back and put my phone away after sending Bea a text telling her she would pay for that later. </p><p>"You alright?" Kaz asked. </p><p>"Yeah why?" I took a big sip of water.</p><p>"I don't know, you seem a bit flushed is all."</p><p>I fanned my face, "It's just a bit hot is all."</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Anyway, tell me more about this guy at work who is driving you insane."</p><p>Kaz scoffed and rolled her eyes, "He was hired to do work with the mothers and kids but he's a total douche. He's always talking about his education, the places he's worked blah blah blah. He's always trying to talk to me, and one of the girls told me that he had asked about me."</p><p>I tried to contain my laughter. </p><p>"What?" She asked.</p><p>"Kaz, maybe he likes you."</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"I mean it, and maybe you kinda like him too."</p><p>"Allie, you have no idea what you're talking about."</p><p>"Okay, you have gone on and on about him since you picked me up talking about Will did this and Will did that. You say that he gets on your nerves but you haven't explained why exactly. And you mentioned in the car that he sometimes goes out of his way to see if you need anything or offers to walk you to your car. Maybe he's confident because he's trying to impress you. And he asked about you because he is interested in you. Kaz, I know you, he's got you all riled up. I think you like him too."</p><p>"Allie please."</p><p>"What would be so wrong with it? You've always been single. And on the rare occasion that you decide to go out with the guy, you never let it get past the first couple of dates. Even the really great ones."</p><p>"Allie, I can't you know that."</p><p>"Maybe you can, with the right person."</p><p>Kaz rolled her eyes and tried to change topics. "How about you? How are you going?"</p><p>"Absolutely fantastic." I beamed.</p><p>"Yeah, why's that?"</p><p>I reached out and grabbed her hands, "Mama, don't be mad."</p><p>"What did you do?"</p><p>"Nothing, I swear. It's just, Bea and I are going out."</p><p>I swear I could see the color draining from Kaz's face, "Allie, I warned you to stay away from her."</p><p>"I couldn't okay. I care about her Kaz, and she cares about me. it took a lot of talking and understanding but we really like each other. I want to ask her to be my girlfriend."</p><p>"Jesus Christ Allie. You don't even know-"</p><p>"She told me everything, about her ex and her. And I told her everything about me. I don't judge her and she doesn't judge me."</p><p>"You know, about her ex husband?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"And she knows about you, all of it?"</p><p>"Correct again."</p><p>Kaz still didn't seem convinced, "This is a dangerous game Allie."</p><p>"This isn't a game Kaz. And I need you to be straight up with me about something. What the hell did you and Franky get yourselves into? I asked her about it and she was just as pale as you are now. What gives?"</p><p>"I told you not to ask me about that."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because, it is none of your business. Allie, if you cared about me at all, you would stop asking."</p><p>"I don't understand what it is about you and Bea Smith, but whatever it is, you need to get over it. I care about her."</p><p>"Allie, I am not saying that Bea is a bad person. But, she is in a difficult situation, I don't want you getting all caught up in that."</p><p>"She's divorced Kaz, her bastard of a husband is in jail. What situation are you talking about?"</p><p>"Let it go."</p><p>These conversations with Kaz left me confused each and every time. Tensions was definitely in the air and we tried to talk about other things but that intensity was still there. After we finished an awkward lunch she asked if she could drop me off at home. </p><p>"No, I'm okay. Bea's picking me up." I answered. </p><p>Kaz sighed, "Allie, I want you to be happy, and I can see that you are happy with her. I just want you to be careful. You have the tendency to rush into things and I don't want you to get hurt."</p><p>"Kaz, nothing is going to happen. Not everything is so life or death."</p><p>I heard the rumble of a motorcycle come by and felt that heat rush back to my face. Bea pulled up, turned the bike off and took her helmet off. She shook her hair and got off her bike. I was so turned on. She took her gloves off and walked towards me. </p><p>"Hey baby." She smiled and kissed me on the cheek.</p><p>I could feel my face was as red as her hair. "Hey." I smiled back and turned to see Kaz watching us. "Um, Bea, this is Kaz. Kaz this is Bea."</p><p>"Bea Smith." Bea put her hand out and Kaz shook it. She seemed nervous which was rare for a firecracker like Kaz.</p><p>"Kaz Proctor."</p><p>"It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard wonderful things." </p><p>"All lies, trust me. Well, I should get going. It was nice to meet you Bea." Kaz went over to hug me. "Bubba, I love you."</p><p>"I love you too Kaz." She kissed me on the cheek and winked at me. She quickly walked to her car and I turned to get a full look at Bea. "Holy fuck. You're killing me here Bea." I kissed her fully on the lips and quickly slapped her ass.</p><p>"Allie." She blushed.</p><p>"I'm sorry, your ass just looks so good in those pants. I couldn't help myself."</p><p>She rolled her eyes, "Do you think Kaz didn't like me?"</p><p>"Nah, she's just got work worries on her mind. Plus, what's not to like?" I kissed her again. </p><p>"Righto, well let's roll." We walked to her bike and she put her gloves and helmet back on. She hoped on and gave me a helmet. "What are you waiting for?" </p><p>"Just soaking it all in. I had no idea how much of a fantasy this was for me."</p><p>Bea laughed. I put my helmet on and climbed on behind her.</p><p>"Hold on tight."</p><p>"Oh believe me, I will."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I quickly walked towards my car and got in. I threw my bag in the back and tried to catch my breath. I pulled my phone out and made a call. </p><p>"Hey, it's me. We need to talk. My place. One hour."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>We rode around for a bit, I loved the feeling of having Allie pressed up against me. But she was definitely getting very handsy. She would claim it was because she didn't want to slip off but those roaming hands were very distracting. I ended up driving her to her apartment and she asked if I wanted to come up. It was getting late and usually I would have said no but I found I couldn't say no to Allie. We went up to her apartment and she offered me something to drink. I just asked for a water and looked around. It was small but cute and homey. </p><p>"I like your place." I said taking the glass from her.</p><p>"Thanks, I know it's nothing big but I love it."</p><p>We sat down and I took my jacket off. I had on a regular tank top. I could feel Allie's eyes on me and tried to contain the blush creeping up on me. I felt her place her hand on my thigh and I turned to look at her.</p><p>"You know, that picture was very naughty." She said.</p><p>"You asked for it." I answered back looking back and forth from her eyes to her lips.</p><p>"I did, but you got me all hot and bothered when I should have been focused on lunch with Kaz. I told you I would get you back for that." She got closer to me. We were practically inches apart.</p><p>"What are you going to do about it?"</p><p>I felt her lips on mine as she slowly pushed me on the couch so I was on my back. I felt her beg for permission to put her tongue in my mouth. I opened my mouth and moaned at the contact. Kissing Allie had become my favorite thing to do. She started to palm my breast through my shirt. I put my fingers through her hair and pulled tightly when she began to suck on my neck. </p><p>"Allie." I moaned.</p><p>"What's wrong Bea? You loved the idea of marking me yesterday. I even had to wear a turtle neck today to cover up the marks. I don't wear turtle necks Bea."</p><p>"Allie please."</p><p>"What do you need Bea."</p><p>"I don't know. I want more."</p><p>She kissed me again and tugged at my bottom lip. I had an idea, and tried my best to move us so she was now on the bottom and I was on top. I saw the arousal fill her eyes so I moved down and tugged at her ear. "You were supposed to behave so I could give you a reward." I put my hands under her shirt and tugged it over her head. I licked down her neck and sucked on her pulse point. "Now how would it look if the boss came in with a hickey? Not a great idea. And, I'd reckon you look better with them than me." I came up to kiss her on the lips and could feel her heart beating. </p><p>"Bea, stop teasing. Please."</p><p>I took a moment to see her minor state of undress. I put my hands on her stomach and moved them to unclip her bra. The moment of boldness surprised us both. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I couldn't stop. I removed her bra and saw her breasts right in front of me. I touched them with my hands and lowered my mouth onto her left breast. I sucked on it and heard Allie take a sharp intake of breath. I used my other hand to fondle her right breast. I moved my mouth to the other breast and gave it the same treatment I gave the first. Allie's breath had quickened and I tugged her nipple between my teeth. I looked back up at Allie and saw her struggling to control herself, I knew what she needed I just wasn't sure on how to do it. She could sense my uncertainty and stopped my hands when I went to unbutton her jeans. </p><p>"Bea hold on. We don't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with."</p><p>"Do you not want me to?"</p><p>"Fuck Bea, I would love you too. Nothing would make me happier, but I need to know you're ready."</p><p>"I want to make you feel good. Please Allie."</p><p>She nodded slowly and unbuttoned her pants. She slid out of her jeans and was left in just her underwear. I never understood what was appealing about any type of undergarment but seeing Allie in just her panties did things to me. I was going to save this image forever. I moved my hand to cup her center and felt her wetness. She moaned when I applied a bit of pressure. I moved her panties to one side and used my fingers to slowly rub her clit. Allie moaned out load which gave me a bit more confidence to keep going. I used two of my fingers to enter her and pumped in and out. Watching Allie come undone in front of me was exciting. </p><p>"Fuck Bea."</p><p>"I don't know what to do."</p><p>"Keep doing that, add another finger and a bit more pressure. Trust me, it won't take long." She breathed out.</p><p>I added another finger and put more pressure into what I was doing. She gasped and held on to me harder. I saw her move her hand to rub her clit and we both worked to make her cum. I felt her start to lose control and watched her unravel under me. I kept my fingers inside of her until she came down from her high. When I pulled them out, my fingers were covered in her juices. I was curious and put my fingers in my mouth. </p><p>"Oh my God, I almost came again from watching that." Allie said. She pulled me towards her and kissed me long and hard. "Are you sure you've never done that before. You were pretty convincing."</p><p>We kissed again and I felt her move her hands under my shirt obviously trying to reciprocate. I stopped her. "Allie, not yet. I know it may sound weird but I guess I wanted to do it to you first to feel in control. And it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that-"</p><p>She silenced me with a kiss. "No judgement. I understand. This isn't how I thought we would do it but I'm glad you felt good in control. Like I said, nothing happens unless you say so. I just didn't want you thinking I was a pillow princess."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her again. "I should probably get going."</p><p>Allie ran to her room and grabbed a robe. She wrapped herself up and walked me towards the door. "Text me when you get home, and thank you for a mind blowing night."</p><p>I kissed her back and told her I'd see her at work the next day. I got on my bike and drove home to find Debbie studying in the kitchen. I warmed up some food for her and went to my bedroom. What Allie and I did tonight thrilled me. I never thought I could be with a woman and even though we didn't really go all the way with me receiving anything, I felt at ease. I was intoxicated and insane over Allie Novak.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Different Paces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p><p>To say I was excited to go to work was an understatement. I was still reeling from the feeling of Bea touching me, her hands, her mouth. I could still feel her on me. I would do anything to be in that position again but with me reciprocating. I wanted to feel her under me, I wanted to kiss her and touch her the way I have been fantasizing about since the moment I've met her. I wanted to know what she tasted like, what she looked like when she came. I wanted all of her. </p><p>I said good morning to everyone and went up to see Bea. She had her door opened and she was sitting at her desk on her computer. "Morning Gorgeous." I closed the door behind me. </p><p>She looked up and smiled. She got up and kissed me and I gently pushed her towards her desk. "You still have me thinking about last night Bea."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>I kissed her again and started to kiss her neck, "Mmhmm, I even dreamt of you last night. I woke up soaked."</p><p>I heard her groan. </p><p>"Do you want to hear about it?"</p><p>She nodded slowly as I used my hands to slightly open her legs. I stepped in between them and kept one hand on her upper thigh. I used the other to support her back. I kissed her again and felt her push herself towards me obviously craving contact. I moved my hand to apply some pressure to her core. "You were using your fingers to fuck me, slowly and torturously. Your mouth was on one of my breasts and you pumped in and out of me until I screamed your name. The dream felt so real, it felt like you were there with me. Kissing me, touching me, teasing me..."</p><p>"Like you're teasing me now?" She asked. </p><p>I laughed and added more pressure. "The dream didn't end there. I moved us so I was on top and I put my mouth where I know you want it most."</p><p>"Fuck Allie."</p><p>"You tasted amazing, I can't wait to get the real thing." She grabbed my face and kissed me forcefully. I moved my hands to start unbuttoning her shirt. I got a glimpse of her purple bra before we were rudely interrupted by a knock on the door. </p><p>"Oi, stop fucking on the desk and put your clothes on. I need to talk to Red and I know you're in there Novak." Franky yelled out. </p><p>We separated and Bea quickly buttoned up. She was trying to get rid of the redness in her face but miserably failed. I winked at her and she called out, "Come in Franky."</p><p>Franky opened the door and looked around, trying to figure out what we were doing. "Morning love birds, hope I didn't interrupt. Next time put a sock on the door handle and I'll make sure not to bother, or I could join, whichever you two prefer."</p><p>"Fuck off Franky." Bea answered back. </p><p>"I should get downstairs. I'll let you two talk business. Bye babe." I kissed Bea quickly on the lips and tried to avoid Franky's smirk. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Franky really does have shitty timing. Part of me is relieved she interrupted. I don't know what would have happened if she hadn't. I would have never let anything go too far at work, but Allie drove me insane. Hearing her talk about the things I did to her and what she wanted to do to me, surprisingly, really turned me on. I wasn't even sure I could feel like that, excited to kiss and have someone touch me, but I loved it when she did. I was just afraid of it actually happening, I think that's part of the reason why I didn't let her touch me last night. It's not that I don't trust her, I just don't think I trust myself. </p><p>"So what was so urgent Franky?" I asked.</p><p>"Nothin. I just wanted to see if I had caught you two in the act, which judging by those hickey's on your neck, I did." She laughed. </p><p>"Piss off." I ran to grab a mirror to look at my neck. I was going to kill Allie, I told her no marks. When I opened the mirror there was nothing there.</p><p>"Made you look."</p><p>"I really despise you."</p><p>"So I'm assuming if you went running to check it means you two did more than just kiss on the lips."</p><p>I couldn't help the blush that creeped on my cheeks. </p><p>"Red, you filthy minx. So what base did you get to?"</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>"Come on, a girl needs details."</p><p>"So, I'm assuming that means you didn't get lucky with Bridget."</p><p>She grinned, "Nah, I didn't say that."</p><p>I laughed and covered my face, "Please, spare me. I don't want to know, she was my therapist."</p><p>"Fine, I'll stay quiet if you talk."</p><p>I looked down and decided I should. Franky was the only person I could really talk about this with, as embarrassing as it was. "We...did some stuff yesterday."</p><p>She sat down at a chair, "What kind of stuff?"</p><p>"We made out, and we did a lot of touching. I...I did things to her."</p><p>"As in?"</p><p>"Oh Franky for fucks sake, please don't make me spell it out."</p><p>"Fingers or tongue?"</p><p>"Fingers."</p><p>"I knew it, I knew you had it in ya. How was it? Did you like it? What about when she did it to you?"</p><p>I laughed at Franky's enthusiasm. "It was good, I liked doing it to her. I liked watching her enjoy herself, if that makes sense. She didn't do it to me."</p><p>Franky looked confused, "The fuck do you mean she didn't do anything to you?"</p><p>"I didn't let her. I wanted to do it to her first, to feel in control I guess."</p><p>I think Franky sensed my uncertainty and nervousness. "Red, there's nothing wrong with that. Some girls gravitate towards one more than the other. I mean I know I'm a top but I let Gidge take total control which was new to me. Maybe you're just a natural top."</p><p>"I don't know if that's it. I liked being in control but I do want her to touch me, I'm just scared. The idea of having someone on top of me, doing things to me, it just-" I stopped talking because I could feel the tears forming. I did not want Franky to see me cry, and I certainly didn't want her to know what Harry had done to me when we were in private. When Franky had found me that night with Harry standing over me getting ready to rape me, she knew it wasn't the first time but she never asked. I don't think she ever wanted confirmation. </p><p>"Bea, hey, it's okay. You don't have to do anything you aren't ready for and Allie would never force ya." Franky tried to reassure me. I gave her a weird look. "What?" She asked.</p><p>"You never call me by my real name."</p><p>"And I'm never going to do that again, feels fucking weird." I laughed. Franky put her hand on top of mine. "Look, I don't know what I can say to make you feel better but I do know that Novak cares about you a lot. I mean she would go to the end of the fucking world for ya. If you aren't ready she isn't going to push you. Plus, nothing is sexier than a girl who is really ready and wants it. She'll wait for you to be ready. And, if it's any consolation from the few experiences I have had, sleeping with women is completely different than sleeping with men. It's a different feeling, in a good way."</p><p>I smiled and Franky got up and moved her hands a bit, "Okay. Stand up." She said.</p><p>I stood up and looked at her. "Why?"</p><p>"Because I'm going to hug ya and I can't do that right if you're sitting down." She wrapped her arms around me before I could register what she had said and I hugged her back. She kissed the top of my head and moved her head so I wouldn't see the emotion in her face. "Righto, if you ever tell anyone we did that I'll kill ya."</p><p>I grabbed her by her face and looked her in her eyes. "You're a really great friend Franky. I'm lucky to have you, you big sook."</p><p>"Fuck off." She laughed. She walked out of my office and left me alone. It felt good talking to Franky, as awkward as it could sometimes be. I went round to my desk and sat down to work on the roster for next week. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I walked to my office and shut the door behind me. I hated Harry with every fiber of my being, he destroyed a beautiful person just because he was a fucking asshole. Red didn't deserve any of the shit that he did to her. Her hesitance to even be intimate validated what I thought before, that he had raped her on more than one occasion. It made me sick to my stomach. Men like that didn't deserve to live. I heard a notification from my phone and went to check. I had a text from Gidge earlier that I had missed. I shot her a text back and looked at the new notification. I grunted after reading it and threw the closest thing I could find towards the wall. Shit just keeps getting better and better.</p><p>I went downstairs and checked the time. I waved over at Allie. She came over. "Listen, I need to finish prepping some stuff for a catering event, when you go on your 15, come find me. We need to talk." She nodded and I went to the kitchen. I put my apron on and went to work. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I wasn't necessarily thrilled at the idea of taking to Franky. Whatever it was, it seemed serious and I never came out happy after these conversations. It was getting a bit overbearing. When I saw that things had slowed down I asked Dor to cover me. I went to go find Franky and saw her on the phone with someone. She seemed pretty pissed. She noticed me watching and pointed to the dry storage. I walked inside and waited for her. She came in and closed the door behind her. </p><p>"Relax blondie, I'm not trying to ruin your mojo. I'm sure you're fucking thrilled but I just want you to slow things down for a minute okay?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"With Bea. Look, she's not ready for all the sexual stuff that involves her being the one put in a vulnerable position. I'm not saying you're going too fast or forcing her, I'm just saying to cool it a minute."</p><p>"What has she said to you?"</p><p>"Nothin wrong you've done okay. She's just scared. She doesn't want to push you away but she doesn't know how to explain her uncertainty with being intimate. You two will get there, she just needs time." </p><p>"Is this about Harry?"</p><p>"She told you about that?"</p><p>"Yes, she did."</p><p>"Then she really does like you, and she trusts you. You're a good kid Allie, just hold off for now on anything too sexual. She does like it but she needs to be sure for herself that she's ready."</p><p>I nodded. "I got it. Thank you Franky. Can I ask you something that might risk this good moment to go bad?"</p><p>She seemed unsure but nodded.</p><p>"What is it with you and Kaz, don't bullshit me."</p><p>"Jesus fuck Novak, can't you let it go?"</p><p>"No, I can't. When Kaz and Bea met yesterday, Kaz went completely white. As white as you did when I asked you about Kaz the first time."</p><p>"Kaz met Red? Why?"</p><p>"Bea was coming to pick me up after lunch with Kaz. They met briefly."</p><p>"And what did Kaz say to her?"</p><p>"Fuck, nothing. Why? What was she supposed to say? What were you afraid she was going to say?"</p><p>"Allie, Red doesn't need anymore problems. I know you care about her, so just leave it alone. Okay?"</p><p>"No, not okay. If this is as serious as you two are making it out to seem then I want to know."</p><p>"Nah, no way. We can't implicate you any more than you already are. If Red were to find out, she'd freak the fuck out. Kaz has nothing to lose if Red lost it at her and I can handle Red's temper. You just gained her trust, don't lose it quicker than you got it."</p><p>"Are you two in any trouble?"</p><p>"Just stay out of it. Take care of Red. I've got the rest handled."</p><p>I didn't really believe Franky, but I didn't want to lose Bea's trust. If whatever was going on with Kaz and Franky ever blew up, I didn't want to get caught up in the middle. I nodded and left the storage. </p><p>I went out to thank Doreen again for watching my tables and saw Bea talking to some guests. When she was unoccupied I went over to her. "Hey, are you busy tonight?"</p><p>"I don't think so, why?"</p><p>"I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out. Pizza, movie, beers. I'll keep my hands to myself I promise, I just want to see you outside of work."</p><p>"Why don't you come over to my place, Deb will be home tonight."</p><p>"Sounds great, I'll see you then." I winked at her and went to work. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I drove to Kaz's apartment after work. I waited outside for her to buzz me in. When I went in she offered me a drink.</p><p>I sat down on her couch, "I resolved one of our issues. Novak's going to keep her gob shut and stay out of our business. I don't think she's happy about it but she's not willing to risk losing Bea."</p><p>Kaz nodded. "Good."</p><p>"So, are the threats serious?"</p><p>"I spoke to Linda yesterday. She said that one of the prisoners heard Harry going on and on about making his bitch of an ex pay. He went on a full on rant. He hasn't had any visitors and his phone logs just show his side of the family. But if he is serious, what do you want to do about it?"</p><p>I was pissed off. "Why can't he just leave her the fuck alone?"</p><p>"Men like Harry live off of power. He can't imagine not having power over her even if he is behind bars. He sees himself as the victim and the one who did what he had to do. He is completely delusional."</p><p>"He can't get to Bea or Deb, I won't let him Kaz." I put my hands in my face and looked up at her and nodded. </p><p>She grabbed her phone and dialed, "Smiles. Got any hot tips? Well, I got some cash and I'd like to place a bet. The usual, just trying to take my mate down a peg or two. He thinks he has it all figured out. Righto, I appreciate it." She threw her phone onto the table and sat down with me. "You shouldn't feel bad Franky, he is a piece of crap that doesn't deserve your sympathy."</p><p>"I don't feel bad about making him pay, I feel bad for lying to Red. After everything he had done to her, she would still have tried to stop what we're doing to him. She's too good."</p><p>"Look, Smiles isn't going to let him get killed. That was always part of your arrangement. She'll intervene right before it goes too far. This will just be enough to subdue him for some time and get his mind off of Bea. He can't hurt her if he's in medical. I'll have Linda look thoroughly into his letters and phone calls and see if he is meeting contacts okay?"</p><p>I nodded and pulled an envelope with cash out and dropped it on the table. "See ya Kaz."</p><p>She nodded. I walked out to my car and groaned in frustration. Harry has been trying to get back at Bea since the moment he got locked up. When I met Kaz in anger management classes she had mentioned that she had a lot of contacts in law enforcement. When I told her about Red and what had happened she had offered to have a friend who worked as a screw at Walford to keep an eye on him for any trouble. We have been able to stash any letters he has tried to send her, made it impossible for him to get a phone inside, and have had him isolated from the other inmates. He has no friends and is completely alone. When he first got there, I paid Kaz to pay Linda, to have some guys rough him up inside. Linda Miles, aka Smiles, reports back to Kaz if anything is going on from Harry's end that make it seem like he's making a move. He tried getting one of his old mates to scare Bea by paying him to run Bea off the road. Smiles heard about it in time and warned Kaz. Kaz and some of her girls had a chat to Harry's mate, and let's just say he got the message. I wasn't proud of what I was doing, but I'd be damned if I ever let him hurt her again. </p><p>I drove to Gidge's job and waited for her to get out. She saw me waiting by my car and walked over. "Hey, I wasn't expecting you. You alright?"</p><p>I nodded. "I just missed ya is all."</p><p>She came over to kiss me and I hugged her. She put her hand on my head and kissed me again. "Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>I shook my head. "I just wanna hold ya."</p><p>She smiled and kissed me on the cheek, "Come on baby. Let me take you home."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie came over after work and watching Debbie and her interact was intriguing. They loved the same music, watched the same shows, and had the same appetite. We ate some pizza and watched some stupid comedy film. Allie had her arm around me. I felt comfortable with her and at ease. She made me feel safe. When the movie was over, Debbie excused herself to go to bed and Allie kissed me on the lips.</p><p>"Sorry, I've been dying to do that." She apologized. </p><p>I kissed her back quickly and she helped me pick up the dishes. "You are probably the only person in the world who could match Debbie's insane appetite."</p><p>"Hey, a girls gotta eat." She winked at me and kissed me again. "I should get going."</p><p>I nodded and walked her to the door. We kissed some more. "Thank you for coming over."</p><p>"Thank you for having me. I enjoyed it, and Debbie is great. I'll see you tomorrow Bea."</p><p>I watched her get in her car and walked back inside. I went to bed feeling great.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Different Sides</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>Another day at the shelter, things were operating like normal. I was in my office thinking about these past couple of days. I loved Allie like a daughter, when I first met her she was so sad and broken. I have spent years trying to build her up and seeing her now filled with life and energy made me proud. She deserved happiness, and I know it seemed evil to try to keep her away from Bea but Allie didn't know the what was going on behind the scenes.</p>
<p>I know she was curious and wanted to know what was pulling me to Franky and Bea but I couldn't involve her. When Franky and I began watching over Harry, his every move to see what he was planning, I never intended on having another connection to Bea Smith. I was helping Franky because she was a friend and because hearing Bea's story broke my heart. </p>
<p>The reason I didn't want Allie involving herself with Bea was because of Harry's rage. We have been able to stop anything he has tried to do to Bea whilst on the inside but if he were to ever find out that Bea and Allie were together, I could only imagine what he would do. Men like Harry took their masculinity very seriously, if his wife "turned" he would see it as an insult. I didn't want Allie caught up in all of this. </p>
<p>Knowing how stubborn Allie was and how she wasn't planning on leaving Bea any time soon made me want to keeps heavier tabs on Harry. I wouldn't let him near her, not after everything she has been through. Neither Bea nor Allie deserved it. </p>
<p>I looked out my window and saw Will Jackson walking around. It irritated me how kind he was. It felt like he was faking it but I couldn't find any proof to explain it. He just annoyed me for absolutely no reason. I had Allie's words in my head telling me I might have a crush on him which was ridiculous. I didn't want to even consider that as an option as an explanation for my annoyance towards him. I shook my head and went out to go talk to some of the girls.</p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I stopped at a shop before coming to work and had bought Bea some flowers. They reminded me of her and when Debbie had mentioned that Bea rarely received flowers, I wanted to change that. I walked in with the roses and Boomer and Franky started making fun of me calling me pussy whipped. </p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and gave them both the finger. I went up to Bea's office and knocked. She said to come in and when she saw the roses she opened her mouth in surprise. </p>
<p>"For a beautiful lady." I said handing them to her and kissing her on her cheek.</p>
<p>"Allie, they're beautiful. Thank you." She kissed me and smiled. "What's the occasion?"</p>
<p>"No occasion, saw them and thought of you. You deserve all the flowers in the world. And it's also a foot in the door to ask you a question."</p>
<p>"Shoot."</p>
<p>"Would you like to go out with me Friday night? There's this great film playing and I've been dying to see it and would love to have a hot date to take with me."</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Great, do you think we could take your bike?" I asked cheekily. </p>
<p>She laughed and pulled me in for a kiss, "Why? So you could try distracting me with your wandering hands again?"</p>
<p>"I wasn't distracting, I just didn't want to fall off." I said innocently.</p>
<p>"Oh, so if you're afraid of falling off we should just take the car."</p>
<p>I pouted, "No fair."</p>
<p>She laughed and kissed me. She whispered in my ear, "If you want it, you have to say it."</p>
<p>I felt chills run down my spine. "Bea, I'm about to go downstairs to work, you can't do things like that to me." I kissed her hard. "Please bring your bike. I'll refrain from being so handsy, I promise. I just love seeing you on it."</p>
<p>"Fine, just for you." She kissed me firmly and I moaned when she grabbed my ass. "Have a good day at work, beautiful girl."</p>
<p>I smiled and winked at her as I went downstairs. We had a pretty big lunch rush and when things started to slow down I helped Boomer carry some dishes to the dish room. Franky went out to a table who wanted to thank the chef for the great food. I noticed a man walk into the restaurant, tall, dark, he had some tattoos. Franky noticed him and excused herself from the table and went over. </p>
<p>"Oi, look who it is. What's brought you to this side?" Franky asked going over to give him a handshake. </p>
<p>"Don't give me shit Franky, you know I've been busy. It's good to see you though, Bea around?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Liz, can you have Red come down?"</p>
<p>Liz used the phone at the hostess station to call Bea. Franky and the man spoke some more and I lost interest until Bea came downstairs. She looked towards Franky and smiled when she saw who it was. </p>
<p>"And here I was thinking you forgot about me. I was hurt." She laughed. </p>
<p>The man came over and hugged her. Hugged her for too long in my opinion. I couldn't hear what else they were saying because Boomer was asking me something, but I didn't like how close he was to her. He had his hand on her backside and seemed keen. </p>
<p>I wanted to go over there and rip his arm off. He needed to get his hands off my girl. The man and Bea went upstairs and my jealousy grew. Bea hadn't mentioned this man to me, I didn't even know his name and I hated him. </p>
<p>"I can see the smoke coming out of your hears from here Novak." Franky laughed. </p>
<p>"Shut up."</p>
<p>"It's alright Allie, that's Mr. J. He's really nice." Boomer said. </p>
<p>I didn't care how nice he was, I didn't like him touching Bea.</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>Will and I went up to my office and I closed the door behind us. "It's good to see you Will."</p>
<p>"It's good to see you too."</p>
<p>"So, how's the new job? Do you like it?"</p>
<p>"Yeah I do, the shelter is good work. Feels like I'm making a difference with the women and their families."</p>
<p>"You always make a difference."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I just get the feeling that the woman who runs the place doesn't like me which is a shame."</p>
<p>"Why's it a shame?" He didn't say anything but I had a feeling I knew why. "You like her don't you?"</p>
<p>He smiled, "I'd like to get to know her better. She just pushes me away. She is feisty that one."</p>
<p>"What makes you think she doesn't like you?"</p>
<p>"She always leaves the room if I walk in. Any time I try to talk to her she shuts me down. I don't know. maybe she isn't into men."</p>
<p>"No reason to treat you badly if she's into women."</p>
<p>"Eh, I don't know. There's just something about her."</p>
<p>"Well, you shouldn't just give up. Keep trying, you never know what will happen."</p>
<p>"Woah, optimistic relationship advice from Bea Smith. Never thought I'd see the day."</p>
<p>I smiled and he nodded over to the flowers behind me. </p>
<p>"Got anything to do with those?" He asked.</p>
<p>"Maybe."</p>
<p>"You're holding out on me. I don't see you for a couple of weeks and you're already with someone new. Who is it?"</p>
<p>"You don't know her."</p>
<p>"Her huh? She treating you good?"</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>"All that matters. I'm happy for you."</p>
<p>"Thank you. And I'm sure everything will work out with this mysterious woman Will."</p>
<p>"I hope so. I just wish she'd give me a chance, or at least not cut me off seconds after garnering the courage to talk to her." </p>
<p>"If Allie could make me give her a chance, I'm sure you could do the same."</p>
<p>"And I get a name, Allie."</p>
<p>I heard a knock on the door and answered to come in. "Speaking of the devil, Will this is Allie, Allie this is Will."</p>
<p>Allie came in and quickly looked Will up and down. He extended his hand and she shook it.</p>
<p>"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Will asked.</p>
<p>"I don't believe so." Allie answered.</p>
<p>"I could have sworn I've seen you before." He snapped his fingers, "You know Kaz."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I do. She's like a mom to me."</p>
<p>"I've seen your picture in her office. She speaks highly of you. I work down at the shelter with family services."</p>
<p>I saw something click in Allie's mind which caused her to laugh, "Yeah Kaz mentioned someone new working at the shelter."</p>
<p>"Wait a minute so Kaz is...ohhh." I said.</p>
<p>Will laughed. "Yeah...Kaz. Look, I should head out, I just wanted to stop by and say hello. I'll talk to you later." He kissed me on the cheek. "Nice to meet you Allie."</p>
<p>Will left and I laughed at what I just pieced together. I understood why Will thought Kaz didn't like him, I don't even think she really likes me. Allie closed the door and before I could ask her what she needed she pressed her lips into mine. I wasn't expecting it but I wasn't complaining. </p>
<p>Her hands were all over me, I couldn't think straight. I moaned when she cupped my breast. She moved her lips to my neck and sucked hard. </p>
<p>"Allie, I said no marks." I moaned. I didn't want to be covered in reasons for Franky to give me shit but the idea of everyone knowing what Allie and I were doing turned me on.</p>
<p>"I want everyone to know, even him."</p>
<p>"Who?"</p>
<p>"Will."</p>
<p>"Woah, slow down. Will? Nothing is going on between me and him. He's just a friend. I met him during my divorce proceedings."</p>
<p>She looked down at her feet. "Then why was he touching you so much, and kissing you on your cheek. He must like you."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and pulled Allie close to me. "Baby, he's just affectionate I don't know. He's a good guy and he's not interested in me like that. He has eye on a mutual friend of yours."</p>
<p>"Kaz?"</p>
<p>I nodded a confirmation.</p>
<p>"Fucking hell, I knew it. I told her. She had mentioned some new bloke working at the shelter and I told her and she thought I was taking the piss."</p>
<p>"Well, you can go ahead and tell her you were right. He really likes her, he just doesn't know how to put it out there. I think he's kind of scared of her."</p>
<p>"Everyone is." Allie laughed. "So nothing ever happened between you and him?"</p>
<p>"No. We've been friends and he's just been like a brother to me. I promise."</p>
<p>She nodded and kissed me. </p>
<p>"It was hot though, seeing you get all jealous." I said nipping her ear.</p>
<p>"I was not jealous."</p>
<p>I raised my eyebrows.</p>
<p>"Okay, maybe I was a little jealous. But it's just because I don't like anyone touching you who isn't me." She kissed me a little harder, "You're mine." I put my arms around her neck and kissed her with passion I didn't realize I had. I used to hate when Harry would say that to me, but Allie saying it made me feel important and wanted. The more we were in positions like this, the more I wanted to be with Allie, in a more intimate setting. I was just afraid of how I would react once it started to happen. </p>
<p>"You know." I said twirling her hair. "I may not want hickey's on my neck because of work reasons, but I'm not opposed to having them a little lower."</p>
<p>"Fucking hell Bea." She kissed me and put her hand back on my breast. "Don't tempt me, I won't be able to control myself."</p>
<p>I kissed her and said, "Well, how about I hold off on the temptation until Friday?"</p>
<p>I saw the excitement in her eyes. "I guess I can wait till then." She laughed and kissed me again. She went downstairs and I sat on the edge of my desk. I hadn't realized the breath I was holding. I wanted to take that step with Allie, I was just afraid. I calmed my breathing and made two phone calls. </p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>What Bea said to me definitely put me in a predicament. I wanted to sleep with her, more than anything. I wanted to touch her everywhere, feel her, all of her. I just didn't want to push, especially after Franky's talk. But I didn't want to push her away and make her think I didn't want her. </p>
<p>I grabbed Franky by her arm and took her to the dry storage. This was becoming our thing.</p>
<p>"Novak, if you wanted a quick root all you had to do was ask." She joked.</p>
<p>"I think Bea wants to have sex. Like go all the way have sex."</p>
<p>Franky turned serious, "What do you mean? What did she say?"</p>
<p>"We were making out and she reminded me no hickey's on her neck but I can leave them a little lower and she implied that she wouldn't tempt me with the idea until our date on Friday so I didn't have to restrain myself." </p>
<p>"Fuck, Red knows how to dirty talk."</p>
<p>"Franky! What do I do? You told me to wait."</p>
<p>"Fuck if I know, I thought she was going to make you wait years. Listen, if she's ready, like really ready, then go for it. You'll know, you can tell when a girl really wants it or not."</p>
<p>I nodded and left the dry storage. The day went on and towards the end of the day I went to say bye to Bea for the night. "Let me walk you to your car. What are you doing tonight?"</p>
<p>"Maxine's coming over. How about you?" She asked.</p>
<p>"Kaz is coming over. Which reminds me, can I ask you something?"</p>
<p>"Of course."</p>
<p>"Do you remember the night of our first kiss?"</p>
<p>She smiled, "How could I forget."</p>
<p>"What did Maxine say to you. When she left the bar I saw her whisper something to you and you seemed emotional I guess."</p>
<p>Bea blushed a bit, "She uh said to go for it. I was talking about you and my nerves because of how I felt for you."</p>
<p>"Remind me to thank Maxine next time I see her."</p>
<p>Bea laughed, "Hey could you do me a favor?"</p>
<p>"Anything." We had gotten to her car and I had opened the door for her to get in. </p>
<p>"Talk to Kaz about Will. He really likes her and she'll like him too if she gives him a chance."</p>
<p>"I'll try. Kaz is so stubborn and has some issues with men. She just doesn't trust any man."</p>
<p>"I get that, but Will, he's one of the good ones."</p>
<p>"Righto, I'll try. I promise." I kissed her as she got in her car and watched her drive off. </p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>Maxine and I had showed up to my house at the same time. We spoke on our way inside the house. Deb saw Maxine and went over to hug her, they talked for a bit while I got some wine ready. She excused herself to go study in her room as Maxine and I sat at the dining table.</p>
<p>"So, how are things between you and you know who?" She asked.</p>
<p>"You can say Allie, Deb met her already." I told Maxine everything that has happened so far and she was thrilled for me. She said she was happy I was moving on with someone good like Allie. I mentioned by hesitation on having sex even though it was something I wanted.</p>
<p>"It's normal to be nervous Bea."</p>
<p>"I know I just feel silly."</p>
<p>"Everything will go alright. Its obvious Allie has the major hots for you but she'd never force you if you weren't comfortable." </p>
<p>"Franky said the same thing."</p>
<p>"For once I agree with her on something." </p>
<p>I laughed and we talked about the salon and a date she had coming up. </p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I heard a knock on my door and opened it to see Kaz with a bottle of wine. </p>
<p>"I knew I loved you." I said while hugging her. </p>
<p>"How are you bubba?" She asked.</p>
<p>"Good, everything is going really good. I met Bea's daughter yesterday and we're going out again on Friday."</p>
<p>She nodded as she poured the glasses.</p>
<p>"What, no remark about how I should stay away from Bea. How she's not good for me?"</p>
<p>"Look, I never said Bea was a bad person. I just wanted you to be careful is all. And seeing as stubborn as you are, I will support you no matter what. As long as she makes you happy."</p>
<p>"Kaz, she makes me so happy. I'm thinking of asking her to be my girlfriend on Friday. I can't wait."</p>
<p>She smiled at me, "Well then I'm rooting for you and your happiness."</p>
<p>"Guess what happened today at work. You'll never believe it." I said giddy with excitement.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"Will Jackson, your Will Jackson, showed up at the restaurant. Apparently he also knows Franky and Bea."</p>
<p>"This must be the smallest world. And he is not MY Will Jackson."</p>
<p>"He could be." I smiled.</p>
<p>"Allie please-"</p>
<p>"Wait hold on, you didn't even let me get to the best part. Okay, so I was a little jealous because he seemed a little too friendly with Bea but apparently he has his eye on a feisty blonde he works with at the shelter."</p>
<p>"You're full of shit."</p>
<p>"I will call Bea right now to prove it. He told her he had the hots for you."</p>
<p>I could tell Kaz was trying to understand this information I had just relayed. </p>
<p>"Come on Kaz, say something. He likes you, you know now. What are you going to do about it?"</p>
<p>"Nothing. I'm not interested."</p>
<p>"Ah Kaz. I promised Bea I would try to talk you into giving him a chance. She swears he is this great guy, he helped her after her divorce, that's how they met. Apparently all he wants is to put the pieces back together for broken homes, families, parents, kids."</p>
<p>"I'm not broken Allie."</p>
<p>"I'm not saying you are. But are you really saying there isn't the tiniest part of you deep down inside that's excited about being somebody's crush?"</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"Liar."</p>
<p>"Allie, I'm too old for this shit. You know how long it takes me to trust someone, a man especially. I trusted Aaron with everything and he broke my heart."</p>
<p>"He was a dick and didn't deserve you. Kaz, I know you haven't had it easy, and the only reason you hate men is because of what your prick of a father did, but you deserve to be happy."</p>
<p>"Allie it's not easy for me. Plus what guy is going to wait around until I trust him enough, until I'm ready to do anything. No one in this day and age."</p>
<p>"Not all men are the same."</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes and I spent the rest of the night trying to get her to see reason.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Praying for Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I dropped Deb off at school and drove back to the house. I had told Franky not to expect me until later on, that I had a doctor's appointment. Which wasn't a full lie but it wasn't the truth. I had called Bridget yesterday after Allie had left my office. I needed advice from someone I knew could see it from a psychological point of view but I didn't want it to be some serious session. Bridget was more than happy to come over and I was waiting for her to show up. </p><p>When I heard a knock on the door I went to open and told Bridget to come in. "Thank you for doing this. I know you're a busy woman and you probably have a day filled with clients."</p><p>"No worries. I'm always available to help."</p><p>I smiled and offered her a cup of tea. Bridget has been able to help me out before and I wanted her help again. I felt comfortable disclosing things to her even if she wasn't my therapist anymore. She never judged me and always allowed me to get my thoughts out. </p><p>"So, um, Allie and I are getting closer and I want to take that next step with her. We began being somewhat intimate on Sunday but I was the one doing most of the work. I didn't want her to touch me, in that way. Not yet anyway. I want to feel comfortable enough to do it but I'm afraid I'll freeze or freak out. Like I'll be brought back to that place with Harry."</p><p>She nodded, "When you and Allie have kissed and been together, have you ever felt that panic? Have you ever had a flashback or the sense that you were back in the place with Harry?"</p><p>I shook my head, "No. But I think about it a lot. Even if no panic is going my mind wanders to what possibly could happen."</p><p>"Its natural to be afraid of intimacy and sex after such a traumatic event, in your case things that were more common. Does Allie know?"</p><p>I nodded. "I told her on our first date. She was understanding and has been kind to me. And Franky and Maxine have reminded me that she would never force me, but I don't want to make her wait forever."</p><p>"Bea, sex is a consensual act between two people. If one isn't ready or has feelings of reluctance, it destroys the passion there. From what I've heard from you and Franky, she seems to be very keen on you and wouldn't ever put you in a position where you wouldn't be ready. And, sometimes waiting makes that passion and tension grow which could make for mind blowing sex afterwards."</p><p>I blushed at the thought of it. "What if I'm not sure I can wait that long? I mean when she kisses me and put her hands on me, I can't think straight."</p><p>Bridget laughed. "I know the feeling. But it seems like these uncertainties you have don't carry any weight. I think you're more ready than you think."</p><p>"I'm just afraid, what if I'm too broken. What if I can't fully enjoy sex. I never did, even when Harry was 'nice'."</p><p>Bridget sighed and put her tea down. She cleared her throat. "What you've been through, no one deserves to ever experience. Your fear is valid. But, with the right person, you can experience things you never thought you could before. It is difficult to get back to being a sexual person after someone has forced you to do something you didn't consent to, but it's not impossible. Sexual assault, there is no time clock on when you can go back to having sex. Some go back quickly because they want to feel in control of their bodies and their minds. Some take time because of fear. Some never go back to who they were. But from what you've told me, I do think you're ready. The only person who could validate that is you. You'll know, trust me."</p><p>I looked her in her eyes and realized she was trying to say it without actually vocalizing it. "You?"</p><p>She nodded. "A while ago. But, I worked through my fears and issues and found that that one night didn't define me. He had no control over me and I was afraid to have sex again because, similarly to you, I thought I wasn't a sexual person anymore. I was wrong, that flame was still burning, it just took the right person to bring me back to life."</p><p>"Thank you Bridget. I'm sorry."</p><p>"The past is the past. Made me stronger."</p><p>I smiled and we talked some more about her and Franky. She seems happy with her and it excited me knowing that they found each other. Bridget seemed to be good for Franky. </p><p>"I don't think I've ever seen her this happy with anyone." I said.</p><p>"I'm lucky to have met her. She is a handful but she makes me just as happy."</p><p>"That's great Bridget."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea had texted me last night saying she had a doctor's appointment so she wasn't coming into work until later on. It was a bummer not to see her at work as soon as I had gotten there but she asked if I wanted to have lunch when she got back so it was worth it. </p><p>I had done my best to get Kaz to at least try being nicer to Will to get to know him but whether she was actually going to do it or not remained a mystery. I wanted her to find happiness. She deserved it with all the good she does for other people. </p><p>As I was taking a table their food when I saw Bea walk in with the lady who was here a couple of days ago. They were laughing about something and I saw Franky practically run over. "Hey spunky."</p><p>"Hey baby." She answered and the kissed quickly.</p><p>I walked over and leaned into Franky, "And you say I'm pussy whipped?"</p><p>"Fuck off Novak."</p><p>I laughed and went over to kiss Bea. "Hey, I missed you."</p><p>"Just had some things I needed to take care of." Bea answered. </p><p>"What are you two doing together?" Asked Franky. </p><p>Bridget quickly answered, "Bea and I saw each other here outside the car park. I guess we both had the same idea to come see our girls."</p><p>"You ready to go?" Asked Bea.</p><p>"My breaks not for another half hour." I said. </p><p>"Then I'll wait for you upstairs." She kissed me on the lips and went up after telling Bridget it was good to see her. Franky called out to one of the other chefs saying she was stepping off the line for a bit. She grabbed Bridget's hand and took her upstairs.</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>As soon as we got into my office I pushed Gidge against the door while kissing her. She had her hand on my cheek and I smiled into the kiss when I heard her moan. </p><p>"I missed you." I said.</p><p>"We've only been apart for a day." </p><p>"I know, but I miss you. Plus, I get lonely sleeping alone now. I miss you and your bed."</p><p>Gidge laughed, "I think you miss my bed more than you miss me."</p><p>"Nah, no way." I kissed her again. "You should come over to my place tonight, I'll cook for ya."</p><p>"Sounds like a deal. My next client isn't for another hour, I just wanted to stop by and see you. I miss you too."</p><p>I grinned, "Fuck maybe Novak's right. I am pussy whipped."</p><p>She laughed again. </p><p>"Well, I have an idea on what we could do to make that hour not go to waste." I said while grabbing her hand and walking her towards my desk. "I've always wanted to do this."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>After Allie's half an hour was up she came up to tell me we could go. I grabbed my bag and walked out with her. </p><p>"Franky and Bridget still in there?" She asked.</p><p>"Don't remind me. I closed my door so I didn't have to hear, didn't really help." I laughed.</p><p>Allie whispered, "Maybe one day we'll have to get back at Franky for that." </p><p>I bit my lip, "Maybe."</p><p>We went for Thai food and I could feel Allie looking at me. </p><p>"What?" I asked.</p><p>"Nothing, you're just beautiful." </p><p>I blushed. "Allie-"</p><p>"What? It's the truth. I don't think I have ever seen anyone as breathtakingly stunning as you are."</p><p>"You can talk."</p><p>"Hey, I know I'm hot. But, there's something about you. I can't stop staring, I don't think I'll ever stop."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and felt her foot graze my leg. </p><p>"Plus, I love making you blush."</p><p>She moved over to my side of the booth and kissed my cheek, down my neck, while placing her hand near my inner thigh. "It's probably my favorite thing to do. Watching you turn all red."</p><p>"Allie, we're in public."</p><p>"Fine, I'll stop. On one condition." She whispered in my ear. "We get to make out in your car before we go back. I have been dying to really kiss you since you got back."</p><p>I kissed her and nodded. </p><p>She stayed sitting by me, never removing her hand from my thigh. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I was going through some paper work. I heard what Allie had to say yesterday and I just wasn't sure. I didn't want to go through the time, energy, and heartache of getting to know someone just to have them turn out to be like everyone else. Maybe I was cynical but I didn't want to get hurt again. One of the girls ran into my office saying there was a problem with two of the girls outside. One of the girls was still going through some withdrawal and she freaked out at another because she thought she stole from her. </p><p>I ran out and tried to reason with her but she was struggling. I've seen it a million times before. </p><p>"I just need something to take the edge off Kaz. I'm really losing it. And this bitch is stealing from me."</p><p>"Mandy no one is stealing from you. Just calm down. Let's go to my office and talk." I tried to calm her down. </p><p>"Nah, you're just going to try to get in my head. Fuck that."</p><p>I heard a voice from behind me come forward. "Mandy, no one is trying to get in your head. Let us help you." It was Will.</p><p>"Mr. J I can't. I can't even think straight, I need a hit."</p><p>"No you don't. You're just going through a rough patch, you'll get through it, but you need to let us help you. Look around, you're scaring the other women. I know you don't want others to fear you."</p><p>Mandy started to cry. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen."</p><p>"I know. Come on." He reached his hand out and she reluctantly accepted. He took her back to her room and helped her get into bed. He talked to her soothingly trying to get her to calm down. I watched as she slowly began to close her eyes. </p><p>"Someone should stay with her while she comes down, just in case she wakes up to throw up." He said.</p><p>"I'll do it." One of the other girls offered. </p><p>He and I walked out of her room, I was still in awe in how he handled the situation. "You were really good with her."</p><p>"It's nothing, she just needed someone to tell her she wasn't in trouble and everything was going to be alright." He shrugged.</p><p>"Still, it was really great. You're good for the women. I know I haven't said it before or made it seem like it, but I'm glad you're here."</p><p>He smiled. "I'm glad to be here."</p><p>I was starting to walk away when he grabbed my wrist softly, "Um, Kaz. I was wondering, if maybe you'd like to go out for a drink sometime?" </p><p>Generally I would have blown a casket with any guy who had dared touch me. But it didn't bother me that he had. "Sure." I nodded and quickly walked away. I walked straight to my office and closed the door. I stood against the door trying to contain my smile. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>We were in the carpark of the restaurant in Bea's car making out. She had turned the car off and kissed me. I felt her unbuckle her seatbelt as she swiftly moved over to be on top of me. I'm sure it wasn't a comfortable situation for her but God it was hot. She reclined the seat to make more room and I moaned when I felt her hand up my shirt. </p><p>"You were playing a dangerous game Allie, putting your foot up my leg and trying to get a reaction out of me in public."</p><p>I closed my eyes as she kissed the side of my jaw. "I just can't help myself Bea."</p><p>She looked me in my eyes and roughly kissed me. I put my hands on her hips and guided her so we were moving against each other. I kissed her neck and moved my hand so it was under her shirt touching her back. Her skin felt hot and I wanted to take her shirt off. She seemed to have other ideas because she started to unbuckle my belt. </p><p>"Wait Bea." </p><p>She leaned in to nip my ear, "Are you saying you want me to stop?" She had just unbuttoned my pants and was inching her hand to move it inside my underwear. I knew I was soaking wet and I really needed her to touch me. I shook my head and she smiled.</p><p>She moved her hand inside my underwear and groaned when she felt how wet I was. I tried to hold back back my moan when she inserted her fingers in me. She was moving so quickly I thought I was going to die. </p><p>"Bea...I'm not going to last long...Please." I begged.</p><p>She moved a little faster and I rolled my eyes to the back of my head. I was so close. </p><p>"Cum for me baby." She whispered. </p><p>I kissed her and moaned into her mouth while I came. She removed her fingers and put them in my mouth. I sucked on them and then she kissed me putting her tongue in my mouth. She bit my bottom lip. All I wanted was to return the favor, it was torture never being able to touch her in these few instances we had together. She seemed to have read my mind and kissed me again. "Soon, I promise. I just really like being inside of you."</p><p>I groaned again, "Bea. It's killing me. I don't even know what you taste like, and that's all I've wanted."</p><p>She raised her eyebrow and smirked. "Soon baby, I promise."</p><p>I pouted and she kissed me. We fixed ourselves up and went back to work. I felt hot thinking about what Bea and I just did. I never considered myself to be a bottom but I really liked it when Bea took control. I couldn't wait for us to be alone, for me to be the one on top of her.</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I don't know what came over me. Allie and I were just supposed to make out in the car but I needed to touch her. I craved her, her kiss, her skin, the feeling of me touching her. Franky was right, watching someone coming undone under you was hot. I wanted Allie and I alone so I could do more. I had already had a taste of her but I wanted more. I wanted to feel her lose control while screaming my name. I couldn't wait until Friday. </p><p>Franky POV</p><p>I had just finished the final touches on the meal when I heard the doorbell ring. I ran over and opened the door for Gidge. She had a bottle of wine and a low cut shirt that seemed like an invitation. She kissed me, "Down girl, later."</p><p>I grinned and showed her around. We only ever spent time at her place so it was the first time she was coming to mine. We sat down to eat and we spoke about our days. </p><p>She helped me clean up and we moved towards the couch. I was rubbing her thigh trying to muster up some courage to ask.</p><p>"What?" She asked.</p><p>"How'd you know I was going to say anything?"</p><p>"Because when you're nervous or curious you avoid eye contact, and you crinkle your nose a bit. You did that when you gave me your number."</p><p>I smiled. "I didn't even think you noticed me until I went to go see you at work."</p><p>"Of course I noticed you. You were this cute, hot, young chef trying to woo me. It was adorable."</p><p>"Great, now it turns out I'm a fucking teddy bear."</p><p>She laughed, "I also said hot." She kissed my cheek. "But what is it?"</p><p>"Well, it's still early days and all that but, would you be my girl?"</p><p>She smiled and kissed me on the lips. "I would love nothing more than to be your girl."</p><p>I was thrilled. "Thank God."</p><p>"Was there ever a question about it?"</p><p>I shrugged, "I don't know. There are better people out there, maybe I'm not good enough or-"</p><p>She cut me off, "Absolutely not. I like you a lot Franky. No one else in this world could make me feel the way you do. You make me laugh all the time, you never cease to amaze me, you're thoughtful and caring. You sell yourself shirt because you don't see what I do."</p><p>"Aww Gidge don't go trying to make me cry. You know I don't like doing that."</p><p>She laughed and kissed me. "Don't worry, it'll be our little secret."</p><p>"Can I ask you something else?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>I bit the inside of my cheek, "You and Red didn't run into each other at the car park did you?"</p><p>Gidge bit her lip, "No. We had morning tea at her house. Even though I wasn't there as her therapist, I can't tell you what she told me Franky. I don't want to betray her trust."</p><p>"Nah, that's fine. I just want to know, is she okay?"</p><p>She smiled and put rubbed my neck, "She's fine. She's going good. You don't need to worry about her."</p><p>"Okay, good." </p><p>She leaned in to kissed my cheek again. "You're a good friend Franky. An even better girlfriend."</p><p>I grinned and pulled her on my lap. "Prove it."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Slow Dance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p>
<p>The days had come and gone and it was finally Friday. I was so excited. Bea and I were going to go on our date, I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend, and we were hopefully going to be alone tonight to finally be together.</p>
<p>She had continued to insinuate over the past couple of days that it was going to happen and even though I wasn't expecting anything, I was excited at the possibility. </p>
<p>Plus, another reason that today was a great day was the fact that Kaz and Will were going out tonight. She refused to call it a date but I know she was excited. She came over to my place to get ready and I did her hair and makeup. She picked a simple outfit, this dark olive green dress with a split hem. She was going to wear her black leather jacket.</p>
<p>"You look hot mama, he won't be able to keep his hands off of you."</p>
<p>"Allie-"</p>
<p>"I know it's not a date." I groaned. "Just try to have fun, don't be so uptight. You said that things have gotten better between the two of you at work and that you actually think he's a good guy. Just try, for me and Bea."</p>
<p>Kaz rolled her eyes. "Yeah, fine whatever. Look my Lyft's here, I'll talk to you later. Have a good night, I hope everything works out. I love you bubba."</p>
<p>"Love you too." I closed the door and got ready for my date. Bea was picking me up in her bike which was already turning me on and I hadn't even seen her yet. </p>
<p>When she texted me she was outside I almost fainted. "I will never get used to you in all leather. It's so fucking hot." I kissed her on the lips and felt her smile. </p>
<p>"Hop on." She handed me a helmet and I got on the bike. I wrapped my arms around her and we drove off. There was a pizza place near the cinema so we stopped to eat before going to watch the film. We ate and talked for a bit and I found myself staring at her again. It was insane, I know I must seem like such a creep but I can never get my eyes off of her. Everything she says is interesting to me, even when she's talking about end of the day reports or problems with some of the vendors. And when she talks about Debbie, her whole face lights up. She was obviously her proudest accomplishment. After we ate we walked hand in hand to the cinema and sat down to watch the film. Even though I really wanted to see it, I had my mind on other things. I had Bea's finger intertwined with mine. I moved so I had my arm wrapped around her. I felt her get closer to me and kept my other hand holding hers. This felt perfect. Like, we were meant to be. Which sounds stupid but we fit so well together. I couldn't imagine being anywhere with anyone else.</p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>The driver dropped me off at the bar and I walked in. I had never been here before. Will had offered to pick me up but I declined. Allie told me I was ridiculous but I wasn't sure I wanted to be alone in a car with him.</p>
<p>He saw me and came over, "Glad you made it." He gave me a quick hug which I reciprocated. </p>
<p>We went over to a table and the waiter came to take our orders. </p>
<p>"I've never been here before." </p>
<p>"Not surprised, not many people know it. I came here on accident once thinking it was something else." He said.</p>
<p>"It's beautiful." </p>
<p>"They try to keep it more low key. Make it more about nice dinners, quiet drinks, dances."</p>
<p>"Dances?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, the slow kind. They don't want this place bombarded by partiers and kids. They wanted a more mature scene."</p>
<p>I nodded, "So old?"</p>
<p>He laughed, "I didn't say that."</p>
<p>"I'm surprised. You didn't strike me as someone who like places like this. I thought you'd be more of the loud clubs, party scene guy."</p>
<p>"I used to be, but I got tired of it. Plus I kinda was over watching girls go out and throw themselves on guys, drunk dancing on the bars. They may think it's fun but I don't think they realize that they're dancing alone."</p>
<p>"So you got old?"</p>
<p>"No, I got mature." </p>
<p>I laughed, "Whatever you say."</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>"Oh come one Allie, I know you love the actress but that film blew." We were holding hands walking back to the bike. </p>
<p>"It didn't blow, you just have to look at it from sideways."</p>
<p>I laughed, "What a shit excuse."</p>
<p>"Whatever." She put both her hands so she was holding onto my arm. When we got to the bike she grabbed my hand. "Hold on, I got you something."</p>
<p>She pulled out a box from her bag and gave it to me. I opened it and saw a diamond pendant necklace. </p>
<p>"Allie...oh my God. It's beautiful. But, I can't accept this it must have costed you a fortune."</p>
<p>"No, I want you to have it. Please, you deserve to have every beautiful thing. And I was hoping you would keep it and wear it because it would symbolize how I feel about you. So, would you be my girlfriend?"</p>
<p>I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "Allie, of course I'd love to be your girlfriend." I went over to kiss her. "But you didn't have to get me this to ask. I would have said yes regardless. Allie, this must have cost you so much, I feel bad taking it."</p>
<p>"I want you to have it."</p>
<p>I smiled and took it out of the box, "Would you?"</p>
<p>She nodded and I moved my hair to the side so she could clip it on. I felt the pendant on my neck and smiled. "It's beautiful Allie, thank you. No one has ever done the things that you have for me."</p>
<p>"You deserve everything Bea." I kissed her and she hugged me. I hugged her back and we got on the bike to head back to Allie's place. </p>
<p>When we got there she offered to get me a glass of wine. She went over to open a bottle, I followed her and put my hands on her hips. I turned her around and leaned in to kiss her. She kissed me back and we stood there with our lips on each other. I knew before tonight that I was ready, but seeing how kind and caring Allie had been just proved it to me. I was ready. </p>
<p>"Allie...I want you."</p>
<p>I saw her eyes fill with arousal, "Bea, are you sure. We don't have to do this if you aren't ready yet."</p>
<p>I kissed her firmly, "I'm ready, please, take me to bed."</p>
<p>She unzipped my jacket and pulled off my belt in a swift movement. "The let's do this right."</p>
<p>She grabbed me by my hips and put her hands under my butt. She bent down and picked me up off the ground. I wrapped my legs around her. She never stopped kissing me while she carried me to her bedroom. She carefully laid me down on the bed and kissed my neck. She carefully took off my shirt and pants. I was in just my bra and panties and tried to avert my eyes.</p>
<p>"Don't do that, don't hide from me. You're beautiful." She kissed down my stomach, "Absolutely stunning." She felt the scars on my stomach from numerous beatings and kissed each one. I felt tears coming. She kissed my cheeks and the sides of my eyes. "You are so beautiful Bea."</p>
<p>She moved her hands to move around my back and unclipped my bra. She pulled it down my arms and looked at my breasts, she cupped them and moved her mouth onto one. I moaned at the feeling of her tongue swirling around my nipple. I was getting really hot, I felt this pounding down in my core. I was embarrassed at how wet I was. </p>
<p>She put her mouth on my other nipple and moved her leg so she was in between mine. Her thigh was pressing against me and couldn't stop moaning. "Allie...fuck."</p>
<p>She sucked on the top of my breasts. She came up to whisper in my ear, "Now I'll know how marked up you are under those shirts at work." She added more pressure to her thigh. "I'll know that you are marked up, covered in hickey's made by me. Only me." She licked down my body and looked up at me asking for permission.</p>
<p>I nodded, practically begging her to. She pulled my panties down and kissed up my legs biting the inside of my thighs. "Fuck Bea...you're so wet."</p>
<p>I groaned and gasped when Allie licked my clit. She put her mouth on me and started to suck and lick. I pushed my head back and bent my knees. She opened my legs wider and put one leg behind her. I heard her moaning and felt her put two fingers in. </p>
<p>"Allie...oh my God. I'm so close."</p>
<p>"Cum for me Bea."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I need to see you, please come up here."</p>
<p>She kept her fingers in and kept moving them while she kissed me so I could taste myself. She moved faster and I pulled her head near me. I came looking her in her eyes. She kissed my neck as I came down. My legs hurt and I felt sore but it felt so good. </p>
<p>She pulled her finger out and licked them clean. "I knew I was going to love tasting you. But now it's time I think you let me finish what I started."</p>
<p>Before I knew it she was going down on me again and I was nearing my second orgasm. She bent both my legs so she had more access. I couldn't think properly, her tongue on me felt so good. I screamed her name and she came to kiss me again. "I can't believe you made me wait so long to do that. That has to be a sin somewhere." She joked.</p>
<p>"Shut up." I turned over to kiss her. "You're wearing too many clothes."</p>
<p>"What are you going to do about it?"</p>
<p>I grinned and climbed on top of her. I pulled her shirt off while she took off her jeans. I unclipped her bra a kissed her breasts. I started to rub her from outside her underwear. She was so wet and knowing it was because of me made me sure I wanted to fully taste her too. I pulled her underwear down and kissed down her body. She pulled me back up and kissed me, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to."</p>
<p>I kissed her again, "I want to." She nodded and I went back to kiss her on her stomach, her hip bones, the inside of her thighs. I used my tongue to lick along her folds and heard her moan. The taste was just as good as I remembered and I continued to lick and suck on her clit while inserting two fingers. Using her breathing and her body movements, I was able to find a rhythm I knew she liked. She pulled my hair while I added a third finger and pumped in and out. Allie tasted amazing and I was getting wet thinking about her coming soon. I used my thumb in my other hand to rub circles in her clit. Allie cursed and yelled my name. I continued to lick and suck until she was done. I kissed up her body and kissed her passionately. </p>
<p>"You've been holding out on me." She said. </p>
<p>"I take it I did alright?"</p>
<p>"Fucking hell Bea, that was more than alright."</p>
<p>She kissed me and I realized very quickly that I wanted to go again. I don't know what was the matter with me, I had just orgasmed twice and I wanted more. Feeling Allie graze my neck with her teeth was spurring me on. She moved her hand in between my legs and smirked, "I guess someone wants to go again."</p>
<p>"Is that bad?" I asked feeling embarrassed. </p>
<p>"Not at all, I think I just met my match." She grinned.</p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>Will and I talked about everything, I don't think we left a single stone unturned other than my childhood. I stayed away from that topic and he didn't ask which I was grateful for. But we talked about, books, movies, music, work, friends, how he was supposedly a momma's boy. I felt comfortable talking to him, which I was surprised about. </p>
<p>As the night went on I found I was really glad I went out with him. He was funny and charming and he knew it. As much as I did like Will, I could see through it all with him. He was a good guy but he was a lady's man, he rushed into things. Part of me thought that he only tried asking me out because I may have been some conquest for him, something he'd have to work for because I wasn't easy. I didn't want games or to be anyone's toy. </p>
<p>Will seemed like a good bloke but I couldn't see him being for me. I had already given myself up to that thought towards the end of the night. A slower song started playing and he asked me if I wanted to dance.</p>
<p>"There's no one else dancing, and you said you don't really know how to slow dance." I said.</p>
<p>"Who cares, no one's even going to notice us, and you can teach me."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and took his hand. I had him follow my lead until he was more comfortable taking over. We danced with each other and I could feel his eyes watching me. One hand was on my backside while the other was holding my hand. I looked up at him and could see he still had this youngish demeanor about him. He just didn't seem like the type to care for romance. I don't know what he expected but I wasn't what he wanted, he needed someone his pace, someone who liked all the things he did. </p>
<p>All of these things in my head yet I couldn't deny that I liked the way he held me. I liked his tenderness and was probably going to miss his touch once this song was over. Once it was we grabbed our things and started to head out. </p>
<p>"Let me drive you home." He offered.</p>
<p>"I don't know."</p>
<p>"Come on, it's raining out and you will have trouble finding a ride. I'll drive you. No funny business I promise. I just couldn't live with myself if I left you here or out you got in a car with some guy and you guys crashed."</p>
<p>"That's a little dramatic. What if I go with you and we crash?"</p>
<p>"Then at least that means I'm there to save you." He grinned.</p>
<p>I laughed and rolled my eyes, "Fine. No funny business."</p>
<p>"Scout's honor."</p>
<p>He opened the door for me and drove me home. The rain had gotten harder and he went to get out. "Hold on, I have an umbrella in the back."</p>
<p>He ran to the trunk to get it and helped me out. He walked me to the door of my apartment complex. </p>
<p>"Thank you for tonight, I had a good time." I said.</p>
<p>"Me too, I'm glad you said yes."</p>
<p>He hugged me and kissed my cheek. He stayed close to me and kissed my cheek again. He kissed the side of my mouth and I knew what was next. I could have stopped him if I really wanted to. He kissed me on the lips and I kissed him back. He cupped the sides of my mouth while I tried to get him closer to me. He looked me in my eyes and kissed me again. "I'll see you tomorrow Kaz." He kissed my cheek and walked away. I swear I saw him dance a jig inside. I practically ran upstairs to my apartment. What did I do?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I added Kaz and Will in this story because they deserved better, I said what I said. And even though this chapter is in huge part about Bea and Allie, the parts about Will and Kaz were inspired by the song "Slow Dance" by Kelly Clarkson. I would suggest listening to the song so you could kind of get the idea of what I was trying to do here between them.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Temporary Bliss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I slowly opened my eyes to see the most beautiful woman in the world sleeping right next to me. I noticed the sun was out and smiled remembering everything that happened last night. Bea and I had finally slept together last night. It was amazing. She looked so peaceful just laying here on her side facing me. I rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. She moved slightly and began to open her eyes. She groaned at the light but smiled when she saw me.</p>
<p>I moved closer to her and kissed her forehead again, "Morning."</p>
<p>"Morning." She placed her head on my chest and snuggled next to me. I put my arms around her and held her tightly. I could stay holding her like this forever. </p>
<p>"What are you thinking about?" She asked. </p>
<p>"You. Being here with you." I kissed her lips. </p>
<p>She intertwined our hands, "I really enjoyed myself last night. And I like waking up with you."</p>
<p>"I like waking up with you too." I put my hand through her hair and rubbed her cheek. "How does some breakfast sound? We could go to the cafe down the street, or we could stay in, I could cook."</p>
<p>"How about we order in? That way we could stay in bed." She started to kiss my neck.</p>
<p>"Brilliant idea." I smiled and went over to reach for my phone. "Is Deb spending the day at her friends?"</p>
<p>Bea nodded, "They planned a beach day, she's sleeping over again at her friends house again tonight."</p>
<p>"So, what I'm hearing is you're free tonight also?"</p>
<p>"Depends, what do you have in mind?"</p>
<p>"Lazy day in? That is unless you're tired of me already."</p>
<p>"No way." She smiled.</p>
<p>I called and placed an order. "I could really use a shower, care to join me?" I pulled her out of bed with me and we went to the bathroom. I will never get enough of Bea's body. She was thin but her arms and legs were strong which made me think she worked out. The idea of a hot and sweaty Bea lifting weights turned me on. </p>
<p>I guided her into the water with me and kissed her neck while I started feeling her sides and breasts. I started to rub circles in her clit. She threw her head back and begged me not to stop. I kissed her on the lips and moved my fingers so I was moving inside of her. She bit her lip and tried to stifle her moans. </p>
<p>"I want to hear you." I added a third finger. </p>
<p>"Fuck...Allie. I'm so close."</p>
<p>"Cum for me baby."</p>
<p>She shut her eyes and let go. We continued to kiss when I heard the doorbell. </p>
<p>"Fuck, those delivery guys have really shitty timing." I kissed her and exited the shower. I yelled that I was on my way. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt and went over to open it with my wallet in hand. </p>
<p>"Kaz? Hey, what's up?" I wasn't expecting Kaz at all. We were planning on having brunch on Sunday like we usually do. </p>
<p>"Hey bubba, can I come in? I need to talk."</p>
<p>"Yeah sure, I was just uh waiting for a food delivery cause-"</p>
<p>"Allie?" Bea came out of the bathroom in my robe drying her hair. </p>
<p>Kaz looked at me and Bea. "Fuck bubba, I'm sorry I should have known that you'd be busy. Look I can come back." </p>
<p>I grabbed her arm. "No wait Kaz. It's no bother really."</p>
<p>Bea nodded, "I can go if you guys need to be alone."</p>
<p>"Not so fast babe, something tells me you might be able to help." I looked at Kaz, "Will?"</p>
<p>She nodded. Bea seemed to understand and we all went over to my table to talk.</p>
<p>"So, how'd the not a date go?" I asked.</p>
<p>Kaz seemed nervous, that was a first. "It was nice, he was nice. You were right Bea, he's a good bloke."</p>
<p>"But?" Bea asked.</p>
<p>"He's different than me, he likes to go out, surf, ride his Harley, go hiking, camping. I like to stay in whenever I can, I hate the woods and am not the adventurous type. Allie you know that."</p>
<p>"So what? I mean Bea has a bike I had never ridden on one before. The thought had even scared me when I first rode on it. Maybe you'd like it too."</p>
<p>Kaz shook her head, "He's obviously a ladies man. I mean Bea, can you honestly tell me he isn't a flirt?"</p>
<p>Bea looked down at her hands, "He is a flirt but it's all in good fun. When he has his sights on someone, he's loyal and caring."</p>
<p>"Sure, but there is a big part of me that thinks he's only interested because I didn't give in straight away. That I made him really work for it."</p>
<p>"That could be true, but the way he spoke about you, it does make me think that he's serious. Look, you're right, he is a bit of womanizer, but he hasn't mentioned someone that he was really liked since his ex wife died."</p>
<p>Kaz and I both shot our eyes to Bea.</p>
<p>"Ex wife? He never mentioned he was married." Kaz questioned.</p>
<p>Bea shook her head, "Doesn't surprise me, he doesn't talk about her. She died around the time he and I met. She was killed in a car crash. It still hurts him to talk about. I think that started his playboy days. He wasn't interested in relationships or making connections. Him mentioning you tells me this is more than just a conquest."</p>
<p>That seemed to make an impact on Kaz. </p>
<p>"Did you at least enjoy yourself?" I asked.</p>
<p>Kaz nodded, "It was nice. We uh talked a lot and danced."</p>
<p>Bea made a face, "Will doesn't dance."</p>
<p>Kaz laughed, "I know. I tried to guide him."</p>
<p>"Jesus, I can only imagine."</p>
<p>"He kissed me."</p>
<p>I gasped. "And you didn't kill him?"</p>
<p>"Shut up." She laughed. "I kissed him back."</p>
<p>"Kaz, that's fantastic."</p>
<p>She started to blush. "Fuck off."</p>
<p>I laughed when I heard the doorbell ring. "That's probably the food." I got up to go get it.</p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>Allie left Bea and I to go answer the door. </p>
<p>"Look, I know you and I barely know each other and what I have to say may not mean much, but Will is a really good guy. I know what it's like to be afraid to trust someone again, but I was able to do it and I think you can too. He seems to really care about you, and if you're afraid that he might want to move too fast, he would have made that clear earlier on. The fact that he had already waited and hasn't pushed, means he's willing to wait however long it takes."</p>
<p>I nodded and put my hand on top of Bea's. "Thank you Bea, really. I appreciate it."</p>
<p>Allie came back with the food. "Aw, that's what I like to see. My two favorite girls getting along."</p>
<p>"I see you two have made it official." I said nodding towards Bea's necklace. </p>
<p>She smiled and toyed with it.</p>
<p>"Allie was a nervous mess sending me pictures of a bunch of different necklaces and then talking my ear off worried you wouldn't like it."</p>
<p>"Kaz, you're embarrassing me."</p>
<p>"That's what I'm here for bubba." I got up and kissed her cheek. "I should get going. Gotta head to the shelter. Thank you both for everything."</p>
<p>Allie walked me out and I hugged her, "I'm glad it all worked out bubba."</p>
<p>"Me too. I hope everything works out with you and Will." She winked at me. </p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>Allie returned and came to sit next to me. "Hungry?"</p>
<p>"Starving." I replied with a kiss. </p>
<p>We started to eat and she put her hand on my thigh. It seemed to be a habit of hers, a habit I didn't mind. "What do you want to do today?" </p>
<p>"Mmm, we could watch a film, my pick though because judging from yesterday's I don't know if I trust you."</p>
<p>"Hey, no fair. I thought it was okay."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes, "Sure. But, I don't know I just want to be with you."</p>
<p>She smiled and kissed me. "I'm just glad you're not tired of me yet."</p>
<p>"I could never be."</p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>Talking to Bea and Allie put things in perspective. I really did like Will, kissing him reaffirmed that thought. I was still afraid to give him a chance but I would have regretted it if he really was serious. </p>
<p>I said hi to some of the girls on my way in and was speaking to the overnight team. I walked down the corridor to my office and opened the door to find a vase filled with flowers on my desk. I walked over and opened the card. They were from Will telling me he enjoyed last night. I was smiling at the flowers when I felt hands on my hips. I quickly turned around and found Will behind me. </p>
<p>"Hi." I smiled.</p>
<p>"Hi."</p>
<p>"The flowers are beautiful Will, you didn't have to."</p>
<p>"Of course I did. Plus, if they got you to smile then I definitely needed to."</p>
<p>"Are you saying I don't smile enough?"</p>
<p>"Nope, I'm saying you have a beautiful smile and I'll do anything I can to see it all the time."</p>
<p>I smiled again.</p>
<p>"There it is."</p>
<p>"Will I...I really enjoyed last night too."</p>
<p>"But? Sentences like that usually end in a but."</p>
<p>"But, I'm not...look Will I do like you. I'm just not the kind of girl who fools around and it takes me a really long time to fully trust anyone enough and by the time I do they get tired of waiting for me to come around. I just don't want you to have any expectations just for me to disappoint."</p>
<p>"You could never disappoint me Kaz. And I am glad you like me because I hope I made it clear that I like you too. I don't want some meaningless hook up. I want you. If that means waiting for you to be ready and come around, whenever that may be, then so be it. I'm a patient guy and I'll wait for you. I'm not going anywhere."</p>
<p>I believed him. There was something, the way he said it, the tenderness in his eyes. I believed him. I nodded and he got a little closer. </p>
<p>"May I kiss you again? You can say no, I just really liked kissing you last night." He asked a bit nervously. </p>
<p>I grinned and grabbed his hand. I pulled him close to me and put my hand behind his neck. He traced his thumb on my lips and I reached up and softly kissed him. He had one of his hands on my waist. He was so gentle. We separated and I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. I looked down at the floor and he brought my face back up to look at him. "You look adorable when you blush." He kissed my hands and walked out of my office with a big grin plastered on his face. </p>
<p>The smile on my face quickly faded when I saw Linda Miles fast walking towards my office. "What the fuck are you doing here. You don't show up unannounced, you call first and we arrange to meet at my place." I shut the blinds and closed the door.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, this couldn't wait."</p>
<p>I felt my stomach drop. This couldn't be good. Things were just starting to look up for everyone. "What is it? What's wrong?"</p>
<p>"I got some of the guys to rough Harry up like you and Franky asked. He's been alone and quiet in his room since. He got a visit from a cousin early this morning. Apparently this cousin was down at the cinema with his girl last night and he saw Bea with a hot blonde. They were close, very touchy touchy. He wasn't sure of anything but then he saw them kiss before jumping on Bea's bike and riding away."</p>
<p>"Fuck! Fuck! What did Harry say?"</p>
<p>"He looked pretty pissed off. He threw one hell of a tantrum, I had to tell him to settle down. He's not happy, he wants to teach her a lesson. He told his cousin to come back next weekend and he'll tell him what he wants done to Bea and her little girlfriend."</p>
<p>"Son of a bitch! They just started, they just got happy and now this shit. Okay, I want you to keep close tabs, and I mean the closest fucking tabs on Harry you can. He doesn't breathe without you fucking knowing about it. I need to go talk to Franky. Don't worry, more money will be in this for you."</p>
<p>She shook her head, "Nah. I'm invested. The money doesn't matter to me anymore."</p>
<p>"Fine, let me talk to Franky, I'll get back to you. Any change, any little thing, you call me, contact me, come find me, get some quill and some ink and write me a fucking letter if you have to."</p>
<p>She nodded. We set up a time next week to meet and left. I grabbed my phone and texted Franky 911. I couldn't wait for a response. I looked at the flowers on my desk and saw how sour my day had just gone. I called out to one of the girls saying I had to leave for a bit. I grabbed my things and left. </p>
<p>Franky POV </p>
<p>I had spent the morning doing early prep at the restaurant and had just gotten back to my flat. Gidge had come over and she was getting handsy while we were sitting on the couch. She nibbled my ear and tried distracting me while I was reading some waste logs. </p>
<p>"Gidge, no fair I don't distract you when you're working."</p>
<p>She laughed, "Yeah right, of course you do. You're worse than what I'm doing now. You literally pull me from my desk and take me to bed." She moved to kiss my neck and rubbed my thigh. </p>
<p>"You're killing me here Gidge."</p>
<p>"Then do something about it."</p>
<p>I threw the papers on the table and jumped on her. She laughed and I kissed her roughly. I was moving my hand to unbutton her jeans when I heard someone hammering at my door. </p>
<p>"The fuck?" I got up and opened the door. Kaz practically burst through.</p>
<p>"We are absolutely fucked Franky. He knows. He's going to kill them both."</p>
<p>I tried processing what Kaz said and looked back at Gidge who looked confused. Kaz looked over and put her hand over her face. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize, twice in a day I'm on a roll. I'm sorry but we need to talk."</p>
<p>Gidge seemed to understand the importance and got up. She kissed me on the cheek and excused herself. I watched her walk to the bedroom and I put a finger over my mouth. I motioned for Kaz and I to go to the balcony. I closed the sliding doors behind me. "What the fuck are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"Harry knows and he's planning something. What the fuck are we going to do?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Calm Before the Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bridget POV </p>
<p>I waited in Franky's bedroom for her to finish talking with that woman. I didn't know her and didn't catch her name. She seemed anxious and Franky's whole body language changed when she mentioned a 'he'. </p>
<p>I heard the voices get closer and then the door shut, I went out to find a very angry Franky. She was throwing those papers she had earlier, throwing pillows, and screaming. </p>
<p>I went over to her, "Hey, woah hey hey calm down." </p>
<p>She put her hands up, "I'm not feeling calm right now, I'm feeling really fucking angry." She kicked some boxes she had laying around. </p>
<p>"Alright let's talk."</p>
<p>"I don't do talking."</p>
<p>"Calm down Franky. Why don't you tell me what the problem is Franky." </p>
<p>She yelled and threw some books she had on her bookshelf. </p>
<p>"This isn't achieving anything Franky."</p>
<p>She groaned annoyingly and pointed at me, "You're all talk, I prefer action."</p>
<p>"Franky give it up. What is it? What's the matter?"</p>
<p>She leaned over her kitchen counter and put her head down. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip his head off and fucking kill him."</p>
<p>I slowly went towards her and put my hand on her back. "Franky, what is it?"</p>
<p>"Harry Smith. I need to kill him before he kills Bea."</p>
<p>I moved Franky to the table and I listened while she told me everything. What Kaz and her started. "Fuck Franky, you shouldn't have gotten involved. You should have called the police let them handle it."</p>
<p>"We tried that, when he first started we took the letters to the station and the cops did fuck all. They said that unless he actually hurt Red there was nothing they could do. Kaz was my only shot. She was willing to help me and we've been doing this for years. Now that he knows Red is happy with Novak he's going to kill them both. I can't let him hurt Red, and Kaz will murder him if he touches Allie."</p>
<p>"Baby, you cannot get yourselves involved any more than you already are. If Harry is serious. then you need to call the police."</p>
<p>"Gidge, you're not listening to me. They don't care. They'll only care once she's dead. I'm not letting that happen."</p>
<p>"Franky, you are paying to have someone hurt, to have someone beaten. If you try to get him killed while he's in custody you can go to prison."</p>
<p>"I don't care. He's not hurting her again. I didn't see it before, he was beating her and raping her and I never saw it. I hated Harry because he was just a dick and talked down to Bea but I never realized what was going on. And, I'm sorry Gidge but you don't get it. You didn't see her lying on the floor, lying in that bed in hospital. She looked dead, gone. I held her hand waiting for her to wake up, praying to a God I don't even believe in to wake her up. I promised her I would never let anyone hurt her again. I am keeping that promise."</p>
<p>Franky had started crying and I pulled her close to me. I kissed her forehead and held her. </p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>Allie and I had spent all of Saturday together and I felt the happiest I had ever been. She made me smile, laugh, she took care of me, she cared. I loved being with her, around her. Sex with her made me feel alive. I never felt that with Harry. And when she was kissing me and touching me, she made me feel sexy. I found myself constantly wanting to be in bed with her. I couldn't get enough. </p>
<p>On Sunday she was supposed to go have brunch with Kaz but Kaz had abruptly cancelled. She said she had some things she had to take care of and asked for a rain check. Allie thought it was weird but said nothing else. I asked if she wanted to go have brunch with me and Deb and she lit up at the suggestion. </p>
<p>We picked Deb up from her friends house and went to go eat. Deb and Allie ordered meals full enough to feed 2 families. I rolled my eyes watching them bicker and joke around. Allie sat next to me while we ate, keeping her hand on my thigh. It didn't feel too much like a sexual thing, more like a comforting habit. </p>
<p>When we got back to my house Allie stayed around a bit but excused herself because she said she wanted to go run some errands. I walked her out the door. We kissed at the door.</p>
<p>"I really enjoyed this weekend Bea."</p>
<p>"Me too."</p>
<p>"I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"</p>
<p>I nodded and kissed her. "See you."</p>
<p>I cooked Deb dinner and left it out for whenever she was ready to eat. She teased me for getting a girlfriend before she even had the chance to get a boyfriend. We spent the rest of the night at home and Monday morning came rolling around. </p>
<p>I felt good, better than I had felt in a while. Lighter and happier. I was excited to see Allie and excited in general. I said hi to Liz and everyone else and I made my way upstairs to my office. I noticed Franky had the door closed. I went over to sit at my desk and started reading the closing report from last night and the opening report from this morning. </p>
<p>I heard Franky's door open and looked over from my computer. "Hey stranger."</p>
<p>She walked over, "Hey Red. What's got you looking all glowed up? Did you try the McMuff?"</p>
<p>"Piss off."</p>
<p>"You did didn't ya?"</p>
<p>"Maybe." </p>
<p>She whistled at the pendant on my neck. I touched it and smiled, "Allie gave it to me before asking me to be her girlfriend."</p>
<p>I've known Franky a long time and have been able to have great moments where I can really read her. She smiled but there was a moment of fake happiness. It confused me because this past week she's been nothing but fine with Allie and I but now it feels like she isn't.</p>
<p>"That's great Red. I'm happy for ya."</p>
<p>"What's up your ass?"</p>
<p>"Nah, nothin. I'm happy for ya. Really."</p>
<p>I squinted at her but knew that something was bugging her. We were interrupted by Allie. </p>
<p>"Morning Franky, morning baby." She came over to kiss me.</p>
<p>"Morning Novak." Franky excused herself and went downstairs. </p>
<p>"What's with her?" Allie asked. </p>
<p>"I have no idea, but I'm going to find out." I kissed her. "How are you."</p>
<p>"Great, I got a hot girlfriend, and spent the weekend having the most mind blowing sex. What more can I ask for?"</p>
<p>I blushed, "Oh and I'm sorry in advance but I'm about to put up the roster for the next coming weeks and I put you on weekends. Just for a bit, we have to rotate. You've been getting most of them off and Dor wants to spend more time with Joshua."</p>
<p>"I get it, ugh but I hate weekends because you don't come in."</p>
<p>I kissed her again, "Maybe I'll have to come visit."</p>
<p>She grinned and we spoke for a bit before she went downstairs. I went back to my desk to work and thought about what could be bothering Franky. </p>
<p>Franky POV </p>
<p>I felt sick, physically sick. Red was so fucking happy and now Harry was trying to come in and wreck it all. The waiting was worse than anything, because we had to wait until the weekend to find out what Harry had planned, unless Smiles heard something. I was stressed out and could barely sleep last night. Gidge stayed up with me last night, holding me trying to get me to calm down. I shouldn't have told her but I couldn't keep it a secret. </p>
<p>She had spent the weekend talking me out of whatever I had planned or planned to do to Harry but I wasn't even sure what to do. I couldn't think straight. I was helping one of my chefs carve out the meat when I felt Allie's lingering stare. </p>
<p>"You can either help or get out but don't do whatever it is you're doing."</p>
<p>She came forward and I looked over at my chef. "I'll take care of this, go ahead and help Jeff."</p>
<p>"What's up your bum Franky?"</p>
<p>"Nothing."</p>
<p>"Bullshit." She came a little closer. "You are in one hell of a mood. Do you know who else is in a bad mood? Kaz."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and put the pan of meat on a cart. "Got nothing to do with me."</p>
<p>"Yeah right. Whatever it is, it obviously has something to do with you and Kaz's little club. So what is it?"</p>
<p>"None of your business. Back off."</p>
<p>"Bea's worried about you."</p>
<p>"She doesn't need to be."</p>
<p>"I'm worried about you."</p>
<p>"You don't need to be either. I've got it all under control so bugger off."</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes and walked away. </p>
<p>The kitchen staff had a major rush come through, once things slowed down I went up to my office to sit for a bit. I sat in my chair, took my cap off and put my hand over my face. I had a massive headache and felt like shit. I know Kaz was feeling the exact same way. </p>
<p>I heard a knock on the door and looked over to see Bea leaning on the doorway. "You alright?"</p>
<p>"Peachy."</p>
<p>"Liar."</p>
<p>"Jesus, you and Novak bang once and you're already connected. She already tried talking to me and I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her, I'm fine, I'm good, piss off."</p>
<p>"If you have to say you're okay twice, it generally means you're lying."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I'm fine Red."</p>
<p>She came over to my desk and sat at the edge. "I know you like to keep things close to the vest, but you have people here who care about you. I care about you. So if you need to talk Franky, don't hesitate."</p>
<p>I nodded. She put her hand on my back and walked back to her office. </p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>I couldn't sleep, and food wasn't appetizing. The things that Harry could possibly tell his cousin to do to Bea or Allie were killing me. I was frustrated and angry. </p>
<p>I'm sure I looked as bad as I felt. I was stocking up the storage closet with towels and linens when I felt someone watching me. I couldn't shake the feeling off, I turned around and jumped when I saw Will. "Fuck, you scared me."</p>
<p>"Sorry, you seemed distracted."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I just have a lot of things going on."</p>
<p>"Wanna talk about it?"</p>
<p>I shook my head.</p>
<p>"Have you eaten?"</p>
<p>"Not hungry."</p>
<p>He came into the closet and shut the door behind him. He grabbed the towels from my hands and put them on the rack behind me. He put his hands on my cheeks and made me look at him. "I'm not going to ask why because something tells me you won't tell me anyway. But I do want to know, are you okay?"</p>
<p>I slowly shook my head and looked down. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "Would you like to come over to my place and not talk about it? I'll buy some pizza, I would like it if you could at least eat one slice just so I know you're not starving yourself. And we can do what we're doing now. Just me holding you, it seems like you need some rest."</p>
<p>I nodded against his chest and he kissed my forehead, "Come on."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry for such a short chapter. I'm just not sure if I'll be able to upload for another couple of days and wanted to put something up. Next one will be longer I promise.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Times Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV </p><p>These last couple of days had been hell. I was stressed out and could feel myself slowly losing my mind. Will tried to help as much as he could. The only thing that he really unconsciously helped me with was helping me sleep. The night he had first invited me to his house, I fell asleep on his chest. I woke up in his bed with him also asleep, arms wrapped around me. Apparently I had fallen asleep on the couch and he carried me to his bed. He just held me while I slept and it made me feel safe. I had spent the night with him again last night, just us together sleeping. He wasn't pressuring for me to have sex with him, he never went past kissing me, and just held me. </p><p>With Saturday morning now here I was under all this pressure, I was waiting for something, anything from Linda. She hadn't heard anything in the past days and had purposely asked for a Saturday shift to see if she could hear what Harry had planned. I was a wreck and could only imagine how Franky was feeling. She called me every morning and every night to see if anything had happened. </p><p>I woke up to the smell of coffee and walked out of Will's bedroom to the kitchen. He smiled when he saw me and put a cup of coffee down. "Morning, two creams one sugar."</p><p>I smiled, "Morning, you remembered."</p><p>"Always. So how'd you sleep last night?"</p><p>"Really well, thank you. I hope you don't think I'm like goldilocks just going around finding comfy beds to sleep in."</p><p>"Course not, plus I'd hope it had more to do with who you were in the bed with rather than the bed itself." He said cheekily.</p><p>I smiled again, "Might also have something to do with that." </p><p>"If I'm being honest Kaz, you're helping me too."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"I've always been a shit sleeper. I mean, no matter how exhausted I was I could never shut my mind off. It would go roaming for hours. I tried the sleeping pills, meditating, counting sheep, you name it. But, it's easy when I'm with you, like my mind just relaxes. There's no worries, no anxiety's, no problems, you make it all go away."</p><p>"Good to know all I can do to you is put you to sleep." I joked. </p><p>"Nah, that's not all you do to me." He came closer to me and took the cup of coffee out of my hands. He grabbed my face and kissed me. I kissed him back and allowed myself to forget about my worries for a minute. I felt his hands move to cup my butt and suddenly he was carrying me. He placed me on the counter and continued to kiss me, I had my legs wrapped around him. He kept his hands on my thighs and we just stayed in the moment kissing. </p><p>I heard my phone ringing and groaned. "Sorry." I made a face and jumped off the counter. I went to go find my phone in Will's bedroom and answered. "What?"</p><p>"Did Smiles get back to you yet?" Franky rushed.</p><p>"I am going to tell you the same thing I have told you every single time you have called me this past week Franky. If she would have, you would have known about it. Plus visiting hours don't start until 11:30 and you're a little early. I'm just as worried as you are, but watching the clock isn't going to make time go faster. I will call you as soon as I have word of what we're dealing with."</p><p>"I'm sorry Kaz, fuck, I'm just-"</p><p>"I know. Franky, I got this okay. I will call you as soon as I know anything. I promise." I ended the conversation.</p><p>"I haven't asked, because it's probably none of my business." Will started. I had no idea how long he had been standing there or how much he had heard. "But, whatever it is, it isn't good. Am I right?"</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>He came close to me and cupped my face, "Are you and Franky in trouble?"</p><p>"Probably, but that's not really the problem."</p><p>"I hope you don't think I was snooping, I only heard the last part where you mentioned Franky's name and promising her you'd call."</p><p>"It's not that I don't trust you Will, it's just, I can't involve anyone else. It's too dangerous. Too many people are involved as it is and I can't risk anything going wrong."</p><p>"I understand. Just Kaz, please promise me, you will tell me if you are in any real trouble. This already sound bad, be careful."</p><p>I nodded. He kissed my forehead.</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was pacing back and forth in my office. I should be downstairs but I couldn't even focus on work at the moment. Plus Allie was downstairs and I couldn't even look at her. This past week has been the week from hell. Bea keeps trying to get me to talk, Allie won't stop staring, and Gidge and I had an argument yesterday. She was just trying to calm me down and I lost it at her, I yelled at her and we fought and then she walked off. I didn't mean to take it out on her I was just feeling really defeated. </p><p>Harry and his fucking mind games were fucking us all up. And Bea and Allie were so fucking happy, I mean the kind of happy that normally would have made me gag but they were finally becoming something great. I called Kaz non-stop which I know was fucking irritating but I needed to know what this fucker had planned. </p><p>I haven't had a good nights sleep in days, I looked like shit, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was for this to end. I wanted to kill him, it was the only way any of this would be over, if he was gone and in the ground. I could pay Smiles all the money I had and get rid of him once and for all. That started mine and Gidge's argument yesterday. She was trying to talk the idea out of my head saying I wasn't a killer. But he deserved to be dead, he didn't have the right to live after everything he had done. </p><p>I heard a knock and looked up to see Allie.</p><p>"You look like shit."</p><p>"Wonderful, it will match how I feel inside. What do you want?"</p><p>"Danny needs you downstairs, something about the left side of the flattop not working as well as the right. He said he wanted you to check it before putting in a work order."</p><p>"Fucking fantastic, just what I needed. I'll be right down."</p><p>"Franky-"</p><p>"Don't, okay. Just don't." I grabbed my chef's coat and cap and went downstairs.</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Franky looking like shit was the nicer way of putting things. She didn't look good, like she hadn't slept in days. I tried going over to Kaz's to talk to her a couple of days ago and she was shut off and practically kicking me out of her place. She didn't want to talk and seemed like she was worried. Trying to talk to either of them was completely useless, whatever business they had was really starting to come to light. Bea noticed Franky's change, she was worried about her. She tried talking to Bridget but couldn't get any answers from her. It was frustrating, we just wanted to help but neither would let us. </p><p>But on another note, Bea and I were doing great. She and I spent almost every day together and I never got enough. I spent time with Debbie which was great because I really liked her and she seemed to like me too. It was nice spending dinners with the two of them, I really felt like I was apart of something, a family. I spent the night at Bea's last night and still couldn't get the feeling of her lips off my skin off. She was amazing in bed and made me feel things I had never felt before. She got bolder each and every time and took more control than I usually gave up, but I trusted her and couldn't help but love the way she took complete command. </p><p>I went back downstairs when I noticed Franky continually looking at her watch. It was getting close to noon but that didn't explain anything other than the rush coming in soon. Still, it didn't seem like that's what she was waiting for. As time went on, I went and saw her talking to one of the chefs and stepping out to the back dock. I was due a break and decided to try once more. Franky was smoking, I don't think I have ever seen her do anything other than drink. </p><p>"Those will kill you you know." I said.</p><p>She turned around and rolled her eyes in frustration. "Yeah, I read the back of the box."</p><p>"Didn't take you as a smoker."</p><p>"I'm not, I asked one of the chefs if I could bum one."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>She got close to me, "Did I forget to ask you for permission?"</p><p>"Just curious, you don't smoke. You look stressed, to put it mildly, and now you're smoking."</p><p>"Whatever it is you need to say, cut it in half and don't say anything at all."</p><p>"What's going on Franky?"</p><p>"I'm not going to tell you again. Piss. Off." Her phone rang and she threw the cigarette out and frantically checked her phone. She opened a message and started to walk back inside.</p><p>I grabbed her arm, "Tell me."</p><p>She pushed me off of her. "Don't touch me, and if you were even half as smart as that mouth of yours, you would have figured out that I don't owe you anything. I am handling my business, maybe you should learn how to mind yours."</p><p>She walked inside and I sighed. Whatever that business was, was going to get them in a ton of shit. I just knew it.</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Kaz had texted me to show up at her apartment in an hour. Fuck that, I was going now. I told one of my chefs I was going home early and I was leaving him to run the line. I would put in the report later with Red. I took off my chef's coat and grabbed my jacket. I didn't mean to be physical with Allie, but she was asking too many questions, questions I didn't even have the fucking answers to. </p><p>I hurriedly ran out of the restaurant, not even turning to look at Allie who I knew was glaring at me from the other side of the restaurant. I got in my car and drove as fast as I could. I buzzed Kaz's number and she let me up. </p><p>"I told you an hour." Kaz said opening the door.</p><p>"Fuck an hour, I need to know now."</p><p>"Franky I don't even know, Linda gets off in half an hour, she won't be here for another hour."</p><p>"Why didn't ya say that?"</p><p>"I texted you, meet me at my place in one hour. What more did you need to get that."</p><p>"Fine, I'm sorry."</p><p>Kaz gave me a sad smile, "I know. Do you want a drink."</p><p>"Please."</p><p>We drank in silence and waited. That hour took fucking forever. Kaz put on some tv but I wasn't interested. I needed answers and was pulling my hair out waiting for Smiles to take her sweet ass time. I took my phone out and texted Gidge an apology for how I acted the night before, I didn't mean to take my frustrations out on her. She was out shopping with Vera so I wasn't sure when she'd see the message. </p><p>I had gotten lost in my thoughts when I heard the buzzer ring. Kaz and I jumped up at the same time and she ran to accept for the person to come up. Kaz already had the door open when Smiles got to her apartment. "So?" </p><p>"Well, Harry is a bigger idiot than I thought. He came up to me earlier today and asked if he could be put in one of the quiet rooms so him and his cousin could talk about some personal family matter. He paid me for it too, idiot, I would have done it for free. Before his cousin got there I taped my phone under the table so I could hear what they were saying and I watched from the cameras the entire time. They never checked for it and his cousin was there for about an hour." Smiles pulled her phone out. "I got it all."</p><p>We heard the conversation start with Harry asking how things had gone the last week. His cousin had been watching Bea from time to time.</p><p>"Fuck! I should have thought someone would have tailed them." Kaz yelled.</p><p>They continue the conversation to Novak and how she had spent the night last night at Bea's. Harry made a remark saying that they probably held hands, that his wife was always a prude. She wasn't good for anything, not even a good fuck. I clenched my jaw and fists. They talked about taunting Bea with letters and pictures of Allie and her that the cousin had already started taking and would continue taking. Harry started laughing talking of all the ways he wanted to get in Bea's head, he never wanted her to get a good night's sleep again. She needed to pay for putting him behind bars. Then came the real threats. "I want the blonde to get hurt. Don't care how you do it just make it soon. I don't really care if she dies or not, just make sure she feels pain. Any pain you can imagine. She doesn't get to come into my life and take my woman just like that, she's just a fucking dyke. I want Bea to understand she belongs to me and will never be happy as long as I have any say. And you leave Bea to me, I want to handle her on my own. I want her to see how stupid this girl on girl relationship really is by making her understand what an idiot she was to think that anyone would actually care for her. She's damaged goods. I want that girl gone, when I get out of here, I'll show Bea what a real man is."</p><p>"What the hell does he mean when he gets out?" I asked.</p><p>"He's going to try to escape." Kaz answered. "He wants to take Allie out and then he's going to escape Walford and try to come for Bea."</p><p>"Nah, fuck that. Over my dead body. I'll kill him before he even gets the chance."</p><p>"Can't we just take this to the police?" Smiles asked.</p><p>I shook my head. "It's inadmissible. We obtained it illegally and even if they did listen to it, they wouldn't do a thing about it."</p><p>Kaz turned to look at me. "What are we going to do?"</p><p>I turned to Smiles, "How much to get you and your other screw to get some guys to rough Harry badly enough to kill him?"</p><p>"Franky we can't. I told you from the beginning, I won't get involved if it means killing someone." Kaz interrupted.</p><p>"We are talking about Bea and Allie! Your Allie, My Bea. There is no line I wouldn't cross for her and I know there is no line you wouldn't cross for Allie. You're really going to stand there and tell me you can sit here, having listened to that crap and not be satisfied if he never took another breath again?"</p><p>"I want to rip his head off as much as you do, but I'm not a killer, I can't."</p><p>"Kaz, he needs to be stopped."</p><p>"And he will, but I will not be responsible for him taking his last breath. I can't live with that. Look, I'll handle the cousin, okay. Linda, you need to get you and the friend of yours as involved as you can with Harry. We need to know how he plans to escape which might be hard but find out how. Bribe another prisoner, just find out. He cannot get out of Walford. Franky, go home. There is nothing you can do, not in this state of mind."</p><p>"Kaz, fuck that I'm-"</p><p>"Go home! You aren't thinking straight. I can tell you haven't slept well and you're making irrational decisions. I know you hate him, but you will regret killing him. Let me handle what I can right now. He is still in prison, he can't do anything without his cousin. I said I'd handle it. Go home."</p><p>I grunted, grabbed my jacket and left. I was pissed off because Kaz was right, so was Gidge. I drove home but couldn't get out of the car. I drove to Gidge's place instead and saw her car parked outside. I went over and knocked on the door.</p><p>She opened the door and crossed her arms. "Have you calmed down."</p><p>I nodded. "I'm sorry Gidge, I didn't mean to take it out on ya, I just...He gets me so angry. And Kaz told me the same thing you did. I just." I shook my head trying to stop the tears from falling down my face. "I never had family before, she's my family. Red, she has always been my family and never judged me. She knows all of me and the thought of losing her because I couldn't protect her, because I let her down again, it just-" I started pounding my chest not able to get the words out. Gidge pulled me inside and wrapped her arms around me. </p><p>"You're okay baby, I got you."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was refilling the dishwasher when I heard the doorbell ring. Deb and I weren't expecting any company. I opened the door to see a bag outside. I looked around and didn't see anyone. I opened it and was confused.</p><p>"It's a seahorse, a stuffed animal seahorse." Allie came up from the bushes near the entrance. </p><p>I laughed and took it out of the bag. "It's adorable. May I ask why?"</p><p>"Well, I love seahorses, they're my favorite animal. And a fun fact about them is that sea horses travel in pairs, they link tails so they don't lose each other." She held out her pinky and I wrapped mine around hers while bringing her close to me. She laughed and I kissed her. "That's kind of how I feel about you and me. Two people, being together, not wanting to lose each other. From the moment I've met you, you've made me feel complete, like I matter. And I don't ever want to go back to being somebody who felt alone and worthless, I don't ever want to lose you."</p><p>I hugged her, "You will never lose me. You matter, and you will never feel alone or worthless again. I will protect you, no matter what."</p><p>She kissed me and I tugged her by her shirt and brought her inside.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Love Lies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p>
<p>Kaz was ignoring me. She cancelled on Sunday brunch again which she never did. It was annoying me, she was either in some deep shit or she was mad at me. It's like she was pushing me off for no reason. If she was mad at me, I didn't even know why. We were fine last time we saw each other, it even looked like she was getting along well with Bea. I went to the shelter and they said she wasn't coming in. I asked why but no one could give me an answer. Will saw me and called out my name. "Allie. How are you?"</p>
<p>"I'm doing alright, I was here looking for Kaz. She's been blowing me off these past couple of days and I just wanted to know why."</p>
<p>"She's just stressed out, she's alright."</p>
<p>I looked at him with confusion. How would he know how Kaz was doing? "Has she said anything to you?"</p>
<p>"Not in so many words. But she's been struggling. She's got stuff going on that I don't really understand but it's putting a lot of pressure on her. I mean, sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night in a panic until I can get her to go back to sleep again."</p>
<p>I looked up at him, "Wait, you and Kaz are...got it. I just didn't realize that you two were together already."</p>
<p>"Well we aren't necessarily fully exclusive but we have been spending time with each other."</p>
<p>I scoffed and nodded, "Right. Well I should go."</p>
<p>"Do you want me to tell her you stopped by."</p>
<p>"Nah, don't bother. It's not like she'd care."</p>
<p>I went out to my car and slammed my door shut. So she could trust Will enough to let him in even a little bit, someone she didn't even trust a couple of weeks ago, but she couldn't talk to me. She made all these excuses for why she and I couldn't hang out or talk but she made time for him. I was done trying, if she wanted to give up on her friendship then fine. I wasn't going to beg her to be my friend. </p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>I was sitting outside of Jack Smith's home, Harry's cousin. I had gotten name, date of birth, address, car type, names of family members, his ex-wife, his daughter, etc. I had it all. I was waiting for him to come out of his house, he took a certain route home that could have allowed me enough time to get him alone and get my message across. I made a hole in his gas tank so it would slowly leak. </p>
<p>He came out and got in his car. He started up and drove off. I waited a minute or two and followed. He drove for a bit before his emergency lights turned on and he drove to the side of the road. I went over and got out. "Need a hand?"</p>
<p>"Cheers, I don't know what happened. It started giving me signals that the gas was on empty but I filled it last night and was at half a tank this morning. Fuck, I need to head to work."</p>
<p>"You might have a leak."</p>
<p>"It's a brand new car." </p>
<p>I nodded, "Oh Jack, maybe you're just in a wave of bad luck."</p>
<p>He nodded and then looked at me, "Forgive me, but I don't remember giving you my name. Do we know each other?"</p>
<p>I smiled. "Not quite. I know you, but unfortunately, you don't know me. If you did, I wouldn't be here because you would have known better."</p>
<p>He gave me a confused look.</p>
<p>"See, I know everything about you Jack. I know that you have this fancy job at a construction sight. I know that your birthday is the 28th of March. I know where you live, I followed you from there. That's how you got the leak, I cut a little hole into your gas tank so you'd be stranded and need help which would then allow me to come out and help. I know your cars new, you bought it, what, 4 months ago? She's a beauty. I know you have shared custody of your daughter Lauren, with your ex-wife Kathleen. I know you have a girlfriend named Joanne, I know where she lives too. I know it all. I even know that for the last two weeks, you have graciously spent your Saturdays visiting that cousin of yours Harry up in Walford. And I know why. Do you see where I'm going with this? You look a little spooked, shitty feeling isn't it? Having somebody watch you, you knowing nothing about it, them just showing up one day knowing all your secrets. Now, I'm curious. Since you are now on the receiving end of what it feels like to be the stalked, are you going to stop being the stalker?"</p>
<p>He shook his head, "I..I don't know what you're talking about."</p>
<p>I reached from behind me and pulled out a large pocket knife. I got close to him and pressed it against his stomach. "Don't fucking lie to me. You've been watching Bea Smith and that little blonde. And I know that you got orders to take her out."</p>
<p>He shook his head again, "Nah I-"</p>
<p>I pressed it into him feeling the blade get closer to cutting him. "Does I look like an idiot to you? Huh! I'm not asking you for fucking confirmation, I'm telling you what we both know to be true. Now, I have no qualms, I could kill you now and leave you out here to die, but that'd be no fun. Instead, I could take your daughter, that little girlfriend of yours. I know their schedules, who they hang out with, exactly when to strike. Think about it, maybe I'll even send you a video of your daughter screaming for your help and there being nothing you can do about it."</p>
<p>"What do you want?"</p>
<p>I smiled, "I want you to fuck off. Stop visiting Harry, tell him you're not interested. You're busy, you don't see him as family, any bullshit lie you have to tell you do it. You leave Bea alone and her little friend. I don't want to see you anywhere around them. Any chance encounter I'm taking as a threat. If you shop at the same supermarket you change, if you go to the same restaurants, you dine in. And I'm going to be watching you Jack, and it's not going to just be me. I have tons of people who work for me. So every day, every time you see someone walk down the street, sit across from you at a diner, a car parked near your house, you're going to have to wonder 'Are they watching me? Is that them?' And I plan on keeping very close tabs on you for however long I see fit. If you even drive by Walford, or accidentally bump into Bea, I'm taking your beautiful daughter and doing to her exactly what Harry would do to Bea, or what he asked you to do to the blonde. So, give it real hard think before you do anything stupid."</p>
<p>He nodded, I could feel his heart racing and his hands sweating. I think I got the message across. "Righto, well. I should get going."</p>
<p>"You're just going to leave me out here?"</p>
<p>I nodded. I removed the knife and watched him take a deep breath. "I got things to do. So do you. You should uh call your job, tell them you're going to be a little late. Then call for a tow. And, this never happened, so be smart Jack. I know that's hard for someone like you but just give it a real think before doing anything brazen. And, don't forget, your daughter gets out of school at 3 and you promised your mom you'd stop by for dinner. Don't want to keep her waiting."</p>
<p>I saw the color drain from his face. From years of working with men like Jack and Harry, there are only a handful of people that could make an impact on them, starting with their moms.</p>
<p>"Now, be a good boy Jack. Behave yourself. You know exactly what's going to happen if you don't." I winked and drove off. I caught my breath and tried to calm myself. This needed to work. I drove to the shelter and closed my office door. I drank some water and texted Franky that I did my part. We'd handle the other later. </p>
<p>There was a knock on my door and Will came in. "Hey, you okay?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "I am for now. How are things here?"</p>
<p>"Good, everything's running the way they should. Allie came by, she wanted to see you but I told her you weren't around. She seemed upset."</p>
<p>I sighed. I had been pushing Allie away for her own good but I missed her. "Did she say anything?"</p>
<p>"Just that she was wondering how you were. You should talk to her, she seems like she misses you. She looked really upset when she left."</p>
<p>I nodded. It was Monday, and I wasn't sure if she'd be working or not. "Did she look like she was dressed for work?"</p>
<p>Will nodded.</p>
<p>"I'm going to go talk to her."</p>
<p>"Good idea." </p>
<p>I got up and grabbed my bag. I walked towards the door and thanked Will. He kissed me softly on the lips and I went over to Franky's restaurant. </p>
<p>Franky POV </p>
<p>I got Kaz's text and could finally calm down. She told me she would handle it but she never explained how or when. At least I know we could stop one thing form happening. But now we had to figure out what Harry meant about escaping. How he could do it. He'd have to be a genius to figure it out and he wasn't one so he must be working with someone else to get it done. Getting rid of his cousin delayed things a bit but that didn't mean it would stop him. </p>
<p>Ironically, as I was getting over my bad mood Novak got into hers. She looked upset when she got here for her shift and was up talking to Red for a while. She didn't even take a crack at me today which surprised me. </p>
<p>I went out to the dining room to talk to Liz when I saw Kaz come in. My stomach dropped and I went over. "What's wrong?"</p>
<p>"No, nothing. I'm here to see Allie."</p>
<p>"Fuck Kaz, don't do that shit."</p>
<p>She laughed and I called Novak over. She came and saw Kaz but looked angry. "Bubba, can we talk?"</p>
<p>"Why? You didn't seem to need me before, what's changed now?"</p>
<p>I pinched Allie's sides. "Don't be an asshole. Go talk to her."</p>
<p>"I have nothing to say to her."</p>
<p>"Allie please." Kaz begged.</p>
<p>Bea had come down and saw the interaction. "Is everything alright?"</p>
<p>"Fine, she was just leaving." Allie replied. </p>
<p>Kaz sighed and looked at me. </p>
<p>I pulled Allie's arm and moved her towards Kaz. "Go up to my office and talk. Now." I whispered to Allie, "Don't make a scene, Red's here. Go upstairs."</p>
<p>Allie clenched her jaw and took Kaz upstairs. Bea was giving me a look. "What was that about?"</p>
<p>"Do I look like a fucking mind reader?" I answered back. I went back to the kitchen.</p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I took Kaz to Franky's office and shut the door behind us. "What?"</p>
<p>"Don't be like that Allie. I know you came to the shelter today so you obviously wanted to see me."</p>
<p>"That was before I realized you had replaced me with somebody else."</p>
<p>"What are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"Will! You're already in a full blown relationship with the guy you didn't even trust. Now, you're spending nights with him and telling him your problems yet you can't even make time for me. You have cancelled on me twice with bullshit excuses."</p>
<p>"Allie, Will and I aren't in a full blown relationship. We are taking things slow. Yes, we've slept together but only slept. I swear, I haven't even thought about taking that step with him yet. He's just helping me out, and I'm not telling him anything. He doesn't even know what's going on. And I'm sorry I keep cancelling on you okay? I just have a lot of stuff going on."</p>
<p>"But you can make time to see Will."</p>
<p>She sighed, "Bubba, I'm sorry you felt neglected. I love you, you know that. You are always my number one."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes. </p>
<p>"Allie, you were the one that told me to take a chance on him. Now you're mad I did."</p>
<p>"I'm not mad that you took a chance on him, I'm mad that you and Franky are still playing these fucking games that no one else can know about. I'm mad that you and Franky take your moods out on me and leave me alone to figure put what the fuck is going on. I'm mad because you two are hiding something, and I know it has to do with Bea and you aren't saying anything."</p>
<p>"Fuck Allie, leave it alone. You don't know about it because it's none of your business and because it is between me and Franky. I'm sorry it upsets you that we aren't telling you what's going on, but it's to protect you and Bea. You could never see that, you could never see that keeping this a secret was only to ever protect you and her. This isn't some power trip that Franky and I like to have, believe me if we could change the things that we have done we would. Adding more people to this will fuck everything up, more than it already is. Everything I have ever down for you has been for your wellbeing, to protect you, to watch out for you. Can't you see that I am the only one that gives a shit about you! I am killing myself here making sure that you're okay, that you're safe, just for you to bitch about not knowing."</p>
<p>"I deserve to know. What the fuck is it?"</p>
<p>The door opened suddenly. Bea was standing there looking at both of us.</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>I wasn't meaning to listen in. I was just going to my office when I heard Allie mentioning my name. After hearing Kaz's rant I couldn't take it anymore. "Spit it out Kaz. What do you and Franky have to protect me and Allie from? Because as far as I know, you and I don't know each other that well so what is it?"</p>
<p>I saw Kaz turn white as a ghost. She looked down and crossed her arms. "I can't, I'm sorry. If you want answers, get Franky up here. It's not my place to say." </p>
<p>I walked over to Franky's desk and grabbed the phone. I called Liz downstairs to send Franky up now. we waited a couple of minutes before Franky came up. I was fuming, I had no idea what it was with either of them but none of this sounded good and I was going to get to the bottom of it. </p>
<p>Franky came up and looked just as pale as Kaz when she saw us all in her office. </p>
<p>"What the fuck is going on Franky?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Fuck did you tell her?" Franky yelled at Kaz.</p>
<p>"I haven't said anything. She overheard me yelling at Allie and now she wants to know what we're protecting her from." Kaz replied.</p>
<p>"So, spit it out! What is it?"</p>
<p>Kaz and Franky looked at each other. Franky shook her head and looked up at me, "That's for us to know."</p>
<p>"Fucking hell Franky. This isn't a fucking game."</p>
<p>"No one is saying it is Red. But if I'm being completely honest this is between me and Kaz and I'd like to keep it that way."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "Fuck that, not when it involves me and Allie. You two have some shit going on that somehow involves the two of us and we have the right to know."</p>
<p>Kaz and Franky looked at each other again. Kaz shrugged her shoulders and put her hand through her hair. Franky grunted and threw her chef's cap. "Not here. Too many people around." Franky looked at Kaz.</p>
<p>Kaz nodded, "My place, tonight. We'll tell you."</p>
<p>"Why not now?" Allie asked.</p>
<p>"Because blondie, when Red decides to kill us I'm sure she doesn't want a dozen people downstairs. Plus, there's someone else that needs to be there."</p>
<p>Kaz nodded. She pulled her phone out and I presumed sent out a text. </p>
<p>"No games." I said.</p>
<p>They both nodded.</p>
<p>Kaz spoke up, "Tonight, we'll tell you tonight."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Out in the Open</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV </p><p>Allie and Bea walked out of Franky's office and went to hers. Franky shut the door of her office and groaned frustratingly. "So this is it huh?"</p><p>"They were bound to find out Franky." I said. </p><p>"Yeah but fuck, Red is going to kill us. Kill me more than kill you but she's going to lose it. Do you think I could bring Gidge tonight?"</p><p>"Why, it's bad enough Allie and Bea are going to know, now you want to tell your girlfriend."</p><p>She sheepishly looked around, "She already knows."</p><p>"Franky!"</p><p>"I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it from her."</p><p>"Fuck Franky, I've been trying to keep it from Will because I thought you'd bite my head off if I told him."</p><p>Franky gave me a confused look. "What does Will have anything to do with this? I told Gidge because she's my girl. Why would you tell Will?"</p><p>I gave Franky a stern look and she started to laugh.</p><p>"Oh fuck! You and Will. When the fuck did this happen?"</p><p>"Franky, now is not the time."</p><p>"I might not make it to live to tomorrow, so now is just the time. Talk."</p><p>"He works at the shelter and he asked me out. We've been seeing each other for a bit. But he knows something is going on between you and I and he had wanted to help but I couldn't tell him."</p><p>"Well, I'm glad. He's a good bloke."</p><p>"I've heard."</p><p>"Don't go breaking his heart Kaz."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was pacing my office back and forth. I wasn't happy about waiting for the answer that Kaz had and who this person was I'd be seeing later. </p><p>"Bea sit down, you're making me dizzy." Allie said placing her hand on the couch.</p><p>"You knew something was going on didn't you?"</p><p>"I didn't know what. They never wanted to talk about it no matter how hard I pushed. Kaz would shut me out, Franky got in my face telling me to leave it alone."</p><p>I looked at her, "Would you have told me what it was if you knew?"</p><p>"Of course. Bea I would never keep anything from you."</p><p>I nodded and went to sit next to her. "I just want to know what's going on. I'm so anxious."</p><p>She intertwined her hand in mine and kissed it. "Baby, no matter what it is, you aren't alone. We may not know what it is they're hiding but it has to do with protecting you which can't be a bad thing right?"</p><p>"I don't know Allie. If it was just that simple, why hide it?"</p><p>She put her arm around my waist and pulled me closer to her. </p><p>"It'll be okay baby. I'll protect you too." </p><p>I smiled and kissed her. </p><p>As the day ended, Allie and I drove to Kaz's. I was internally losing it, I was shaking and couldn't steady my breathing. When we got there Allie buzzed and we were let in. When we got to Kaz's door she opened it and I saw Franky, Bridget, and Will. </p><p>"What's going on? You all know what these two are doing?" I asked.</p><p>"Bridget knows because Franky told her, Will doesn't. I refrained from telling him but I thought he should be here to." Kaz interjected. </p><p>"I'm sorry Bea, I couldn't say anything." Bridget apologized. </p><p>I was over all of this, I just wanted to truth. "Well, we're here. So what is it?"</p><p>"I'm still waiting for one more person." Kaz said. When the buzzer rang again Kaz had the door open ready for whoever it was. </p><p>A blonde woman walked through the doors and looked around, "Full room huh?"</p><p>"You know us Smiles, we like to keep things high stakes." Franky joked. </p><p>"Who is she?" I asked.</p><p>"This is Linda Miles. She has been helping Franky and me." Kaz looked over at Franky and back at me taking a deep breath, "Bea, she's a screw at Walford."</p><p>I took a moment to retain what she had said. Walford, Linda worked at Walford. I felt my heart beating and like I was about to pass out. "Harry." I croaked out.</p><p>Franky nodded, "I'm sorry Red. Look, this has nothing to do with any of them okay it's all me. I did this, I started this." Bridget wrapped her hands around Franky's arm.</p><p>Franky took a deep breath, "After everything that happened with Harry, I made a promise to myself and to you that I would never let anyone hurt you again. I had these anger management classes I had to go and that's how I met Kaz. I mentioned what had happened to you and she said she knew a screw who worked at Walford who could keep tabs on Harry to make sure he was staying still."</p><p>"After Franky told me about what happened between you and Harry I felt like there needed to be some kind of security for you. Someone to make sure that Harry never tried anything again. Men like Harry thrive on power, his power doesn't end just because he's in prison. If we had allowed it, he would have never stopped taunting you. So, I contacted Linda and asked her to watch out for him." Kaz added. </p><p>"Smiles would report back to me and Kaz and tell us if he had anything planned. He had tried sending you letters or getting phones in to call you. So Smiles would interject and then she'd tell us and I would pay Smiles to keep Harry in line." Franky continued.</p><p>"What does that mean?" I asked. Franky averted her gaze. "What does that mean Franky, what do you mean keep him in line?"</p><p>"I mean just that. If he started harping on about how he would get back at you or make threats, I'd pay Kaz to pay Smiles to get some of the guys to rough him up. But lately, things have just gotten out of hand."</p><p>Linda began to talk, "He's getting angry. We've been able to throw him off and subdue him for the last 3 years but lately he's been really riled up. He wants to make you pay for putting him behind bars. His cousin came to visit him a while ago, he told Harry about you and Allie. Harry told him he wanted to hurt you by hurting Allie in any way possible. His cousin was supposed to really hurt Allie, to take her out."</p><p>My breath hitched and I looked over at Allie. She was looking at Kaz. "Is that why you kept cancelling on me, pushing me away?"</p><p>Kaz nodded, "I needed to protect you. He was watching you and Bea. Taking pictures, keeping track. I needed to stop him before he could get to you. I wasn't going to let him hurt you bubba."</p><p>"What cousin?" I asked.</p><p>"Jack."</p><p>I sat down and put my head into my hands. "What did you do Kaz?"</p><p>"I got some information about him, I have friends who work in the police department. Wasn't hard, just a bit of research. I followed him and made sure that we were on the same page about no longer visiting Harry and leaving Allie and you alone."</p><p>"And he just agreed just like that?"</p><p>"Just like that." Kaz grimaced. </p><p>"She never says exactly how she does it, be she always make it go away. Harry had a mate he tried to use to scare you but because we found out about it Kaz took care of it and made it go away." Franky stated.</p><p>Everyone stared at Kaz, Will looked like he wanted to say something but he kept his mouth shut. </p><p>"So is this what was making the two of you have such shitty moods last week?" Allie asked.</p><p>Kaz shook her head, "There's still more."</p><p>Linda stepped in, "He wants to escape. When he gave Jack the order to take out Allie, he said to leave you alone. That he would handle you once he got out."</p><p>I felt the walls coming in. This nightmare was never ending. I had just started to get a life, to have something that meant something to me and now he wanted to come in to take it all away. </p><p>Allie stood up, "We can't let him, we have to stop him." </p><p>"That's what we've been trying to do. Without his cousin he doesn't have the outside help. He doesn't have any mates on the inside. But he still has a world of time to plan." Kaz looked at Franky, "We've been trying to figure out how to stop him once and for all but there's only one way to do that and I can't be apart of that."</p><p>Franky stood up, "Listen, I just want to end this alright! I know it doesn't make me look like a saint wishing he was gone but if he is this all ends."</p><p>"And we end up in jail Franky. I told you when we started this, I have never and will never kill another person. Killing Harry would sit on my conscience for the rest of my life, maybe it's selfish but I can't."</p><p>Franky sat down and Bridget started to rub her back. The room fell silent, waiting for me to say something. "When you two started this, did you ever stop to think about what I wanted. To ask?" </p><p>"We were looking out for you Red, looking out for your best interest."</p><p>"And which one, according to you, holds my best interest? I barely know Kaz, and Franky if you knew me you'd know that I would have opposed all of this! Did you ever think of involving the police, letting them do their job and handling this?"</p><p>"Fuck Red, I'm not that much of an idiot. Of course we did. We brought them the letters and told them our concerns, they didn't give a shit. Unless you were actually hurt there was nothing they could do. And I couldn't-I couldn't, ugh." Franky grunted, grabbed her jacket and ran out of the apartment.</p><p>"Franky!" Bridget yelled after her. She got up and followed her. </p><p>Linda told Kaz she'd start to head out, that nothing new had happened with Harry. Kaz nodded and Linda left, she stopped in front of me, "I know you must be upset, but they were only looking out for you. Franky seems to care about you a lot. I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."</p><p>I nodded and looked over at Kaz. Will had stepped into the kitchen. "When we first met, you looked at me with this fear or um hesitancy. Was this why?" </p><p>"I had spent all these years, protecting this Bea Smith. I had never seen you, spoken to you, only heard of you. Then, Allie starts talking about this great Bea Smith who she's practically in love with and I panicked. I didn't want her around you because I was afraid of what Harry would do. And then to finally see you, it was like meeting this huge piece of my life that you didn't even know existed. I loved seeing Allie happy, it just worried me that it was with you. Not because you weren't a good person, but because Allie is like a daughter to me and I couldn't lose her."</p><p>"I need some air." I got up and walked out of the apartment. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>"Allie, I'm sorry. I never thought you would have ever gotten involved."</p><p>Allie got up and hugged me. "Thank you. I get why you did it. I would have done anything to protect Bea, I still would. You never cease to remind me how good you are."</p><p>I rolled my eyes. She kissed my cheek and went after Bea. I closed the door and walked over to the kitchen. Will was standing there with his arms crossed. "You should have told me."</p><p>"I couldn't. I didn't even have any intention of telling Bea or Allie, it just happened. I didn't mean to leave you out I just didn't want anyone else involved. And I did want to tell you, I just though Franky would have freaked. Which doesn't even seem to matter anyway because she had told her girlfriend, so I that's why I invited you tonight so you would know too."</p><p>He walked towards me and put his hands on my face, "I wish you would have told me sooner. But you were doing a good thing, maybe not the right way, but it was a good thing. And Allie is right, you're a good person Kaz. You went out of your way to help Bea and you didn't even know her."</p><p>"It was nothing-"</p><p>"Don't limit yourself. I see how amazing and great you are, you need to start seeing that too." He kissed me. He hugged me and I let my head fall on his chest. </p><p>"Do you think you could spend the night? I don't really feel like being alone."</p><p>He kissed the top of my head, "Of course."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I felt myself struggling to catch my breath. All this information, all these lies, these secrets. Franky had been running around doing this behind my back for years. Kaz was trying to be some guardian angel that I didn't need. Everyone knew except me. They had people I didn't even know in my personal life. I could handle things on my own I didn't need them defending or protecting me. I could help myself. </p><p>I went outside and saw Franky with Bridget. I pulled Franky's arm, "Come on, let's take a walk."</p><p>"Red listen-"</p><p>"No, you listen to me. You knew I wouldn't have liked this, you knew I would have been against it, you knew I would have tried to stop you and yet you did it anyway. What does that tell me about how you see me? It shows me that you don't care about what I want about what I would have wanted. You made decisions for me that I never asked you to make. It had to be more than just protecting me, you purposely went out of your way to do something I would have never gone for. Why?"</p><p>"Because I couldn't save you! I walked in and saw what he had done and I couldn't help. He was doing all this shit to ya and I didn't see it. You went years married to that piece of crap and I couldn't help. I was too blind to see what was going on. And then, seeing you in hospital with all those scars, bruises, tubes and machines around ya, I couldn't take it. I made a promise while you were in hospital that I would never let anything happen to you again. I would protect you and Deb no matter what. And Bea..." Franky had started to cry, I shook my head trying to stop my tears, "You were one of the only people who has ever known me and still cared. Watching what Harry did to you reminded me of when mom used to shit all over me. Maybe part of me wanted to hurt him for both of us."</p><p>I wiped my face and pulled Franky to me. She cried into my shoulder and I let my tears fall. "You are an idiot Franky. So fucking stupid for getting yourself involved in this. But I love you, because I don't think anyone has gone so far to protect me before." I grabbed her face and let our foreheads touch. "Thank you." </p><p>We both tried to compose ourselves and went back to where Bridget was. Allie had come out and was talking to Bridget. "Everything okay?"</p><p>"All good." Franky went over to Bridget.</p><p>Allie came over to me and held my hand. "It's been a long day, I think I need to go home."</p><p>"Come on babe." Allie pulled my hand and we said goodbye to everyone else.</p><p>Allie drove and I was still trying to gather my thoughts. I was still upset but I couldn't be overly angry because it was meant to be a good thing, a kind gesture. When we got home I looked over at Allie. "Deb doesn't find out. She's focused on school and she's happy. I don't want her knowing her father is still pulling tricks out of his hat from prison."</p><p>Allie nodded. We went inside and Debbie asked how dinner at Kaz's went. I couldn't get the right words out so Allie answered. "Good, lots of things to digest. Guess what?"</p><p>"What?" Debbie asked.</p><p>"Will is dating Kaz."</p><p>"Will Jackson? Holy crap."</p><p>"Deb, language." I said.</p><p>"Sorry, just wow. I though he'd never be with anyone again. Kaz must be something special huh?"</p><p>"You have no idea." I muttered. "Sweetheart, I have a headache. I'm going to lie down." I said kissing Debbie on the head.</p><p>"Okay, I'm going to my room." Debbie ran off and I went to my bedroom. I took my shoes and sweater off and sat on the side of the bed. I ran my hand through my curls and felt Allie sit down next to me. She put her hand on my neck and rubbed. </p><p>"Are you alright?"</p><p>"I'm just tired. I thought this was over, and apparently he's been trying to get back at me for years. Now he knows about you and me and he's trying to hurt you. I can't Allie, I just. I don't want you getting involved in all of this. Maybe Kaz had a point trying to keep you away from me."</p><p>Allie shut me down with a kiss. "No, she wasn't. You aren't thinking clearly. You're tired, angry, and frustrated. You need to rest and come back stronger tomorrow. Get into bed. I'll go and let you sleep. Please try."</p><p>She kissed me again and got up. I grabbed her wrist and I got up. I pulled her towards me and kissed her deeply. She kissed me back and I let my hands roam her body. I went up to unbutton her shirt and she started talking in between the kisses. "Bea, what about Debbie?"</p><p>"We'll be quiet. I just really need you. Please don't go."</p><p>She kissed me and pushed me onto the bed. She got on top of me and kissed me all over. My clothes were gone in seconds and I was completely naked underneath Allie. I kissed her as she moved her hand down my body. My breath hitched as she started to rub circles on my clit. I bit my lip and threw my head back when began to kiss down my body. She rubbed my breasts while she slowly and tortuously ate me out. I was trying so hard not to scream. Debbie was in the room across the hall and she didn't need to hear what Allie did to me when we were alone. Allie was teasing me and she knew it. She sped up her movement and I couldn't take it anymore. I bit down on my arm to stop the nosies  coming from me and I shook while the orgasm took over. She kissed back up my body and kissed me on the lips. I moaned when I tasted myself. </p><p>"I will never get tired of that." Allie smiled as she kissed me again. </p><p>"You were mean." I pouted</p><p>She kissed my neck and nibbled my ear, "I just love to see you writhe under me. It's so fucking sexy, plus, I knew you were trying to hold back but I just really love to hear you."</p><p>"You're going to pay for that later. If I wasn't so tired and if Debbie wasn't home I'd be getting you back for that."</p><p>She grinned, "Oh babe I'm looking forward to it." She kissed me again and reached over to grab my red blanket. "But, you need some rest baby. Don't worry, I'll still be here. Close your eyes." She kissed my forehead and I felt my eyes slowly start to close.</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was tired as shit and wanted to go to bed. Gidge drove us to her place and poured us some wine. "How are you feeling baby?"</p><p>"Some pressure feels relieved now that Red knows, but that doesn't stop what Harry is planning." I said taking the wine. </p><p>"No it doesn't, but it does give her time to wrap this around her brain. Really understand and maybe if she went to the police instead of you and Kaz they'd take her complaints more seriously. And I'm glad she knows, because you've been driving yourself mad baby."</p><p>I pulled Gidge towards me and wrapped my arms around her waist, "I'm sorry for how I've been acting."</p><p>"It's alright. I understood. But are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm just tired I guess. I want to sleep but I'm also starving and I want to hold ya, not sure in which order."</p><p>Gidge laughed and kissed me, "How about I order takeout, we can eat in bed, while you hold me?"</p><p>"Woman with a brain, knew I liked you."</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Truth Hurts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p>
<p>Bea and I were sleeping when I felt her moving in her sleep. I heard her breathing pick up and her murmuring for someone to stop. I opened my eyes and tried to focus a little more. She started to cry and I heard her say Harry's name, begging him to stop. I felt the tears spring to my eyes. I didn't want  her to wake in a panic. I put my hand on her chest and slowly rubbed her while kissing her cheek. I whispered in her ear, "Bea, it's okay, I'm here. It isn't real. Wake up for me baby. I'm here, I've got you."</p>
<p>Here breathing calmed a bit and she put her hand on top of mine. She slowly opened her eyes and I noticed she was taking in her surroundings. She sniffled and wiped her tears, "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>I shook my head and wiped away a tear from her face, "Don't be. You're okay." I continued to rub her chest. "The dreams aren't real. Just remember that I'm here, just feel me and know that you're okay."</p>
<p>She nodded and got choked up, "I just, I got scared. I was back there with him." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. </p>
<p>"It's just a bad dream babe. It's not real. You will never be back there again. I have your back, hell you have a whole village that does."</p>
<p>She gave me a sad smile, "You shouldn't have to be dealing with all of this."</p>
<p>"Neither should you. And I'm here, whether you like it or not, sorry to break it to you baby but you're stuck with me. I'm like a street dog that will follow you forever." I joked.</p>
<p>"No, you're an Alliecat."</p>
<p>I smiled remembering our first date. I kissed her cheek, I snuggled up closer to her and put her head on my chest. I ran my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back. "I got you, just close your eyes and remember that the dreams aren't real. And when you wake up, I'll be here."</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>When I woke up again the next morning I felt like crap. Last night was horrible, I barely got any sleep. I couldn't get Harry out of my mind, and then when I finally closed my eyes, he was there too. Having Allie there helped but it didn't eliminate the worry from my mind. </p>
<p>I wasn't angry at Kaz or Franky anymore, I was annoyed that they kept me out of the loop for so long, I would have rather known than to live in some ignorant bliss. When I got up, Allie was still sleeping. She had stayed up with me waiting for me to go to sleep, poor baby. She shouldn't have to, I cried in her arms last night. </p>
<p>I slowly got up and went to the restroom. I looked exactly how I felt. I had dark circles under my eyes and I looked and felt exhausted. I went to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on. I hadn't heard that Deb had gotten up. "Morning mama."</p>
<p>I shook my thoughts out of my head and smiled, "Morning baby."</p>
<p>"Are you okay? You look tired."</p>
<p>"Agh, just a rough night is all. Nothing to worry about."</p>
<p>"Are you sure?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Don't worry about me. Just some work stress." I kissed the top of her head and asked what she wanted for breakfast. </p>
<p>"No, I'm okay. I can stop somewhere to get a quick bite. You should relax, are you going to work today? Maybe you should take the day off."</p>
<p>I nodded, "I might, or maybe just the morning off. I'm just tired but I'm okay I promise."</p>
<p>She nodded but didn't seem to believe me. Allie came out of my bedroom. "Oi, you left me alone. I woke up with no one to snuggle." Allie pouted. </p>
<p>I laughed and Allie told Deb good morning. Allie came around to kiss me on the cheek and she squeezed my hand. She winked at me and went to get some cups for coffee. "Want one Deb?"</p>
<p>"No thank Allie, I'm stopping for some before class. I should get going now." Deb came over to kiss my cheek and she hugged me tightly. I hugged her and we stayed hugging each other for longer than we usually did which made me guess that she didn't believe my stress and bad night was just from work. "See you mama, love you. Bye Allie."</p>
<p>"Bye kiddo." Allie responded. </p>
<p>"I love you Deb, to the moon and back." I watched her walk out the door and sighed. "She knows."</p>
<p>Allie looked at me, "Did you tell her."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "No, but she's smart, she knows. She's seen me at my worst, she knows what work stress does to me and what Harry stress does to me."</p>
<p>"You want me to talk to her?"</p>
<p>"No, I'll talk to her later. Thank you though." I looked over at Allie. "I'm sorry for waking you last night."</p>
<p>"Hey, enough of that. I was more than happy to be there for you. And I will always be here for you. Did you want to ride to work together?"</p>
<p>"No. Maxine's coming over in a bit. I need to update her on what happened yesterday. Could you tell Franky I'm not coming in until later or maybe not even until tomorrow depending on what happens?"</p>
<p>Allie nodded, "Of course. Don't forget, I'm here. You have a whole world of people on your side. If you need anything at all, call me please."</p>
<p>I nodded and she came closer to me. She grabbed my hands and kissed the inside of my palms. She kissed my nose and my lips. "Don't shut yourself off from us Bea." </p>
<p>Franky POV </p>
<p>I was nervous to see Red this morning, I know we made amends yesterday but she could still be angry today. I walked into the restaurant and said good morning to Liz. </p>
<p>"Love, you might want to go up to your office. Someone is waiting for you."</p>
<p>Liz looked serious and semi-worried. I nodded and practically ran upstairs. I opened the door and saw someone I wasn't really expecting, "What the fuck, what are you doing here? Shouldn't ya be in school?"</p>
<p>Debbie, the spitting image and fire of her mother crossed her arms and looked at me. "What's wrong Franky?"</p>
<p>"What do ya mean?"</p>
<p>"Don't play dumb Franky. Mom. Something's wrong, I know it."</p>
<p>"The why don't you ask your mom, duh. Plus how'd you get here. Your mom will be here soon and when she sees ya she's going to kill us both."</p>
<p>"She's taking the morning off. Something she never does. I got the Lyft to route me here instead of school. I have a note for school."</p>
<p>"Yeah with whose signature smartass? I've seen your mom's signature, no one can forge it."</p>
<p>"You are one of the people listed under emergency contacts. You count, so it will be your signature."</p>
<p>"You cheeky bugger. You sure you're not my kid?"</p>
<p>"Stop changing the subject. She looked bad this morning, really bad. I haven't seen her like that in a while. Its dad isn't it?"</p>
<p>This is exactly why I didn't want Red finding out. I knew it would take a toll on her and now she wasn't even coming into work. She wasn't even going to hide how this was affecting her. "Look Deb, it's not my place. This is between you and your mom. Go talk to her."</p>
<p>"You know she won't tell me. This is the person who hid what was going on with her for years in order to protect me. I understood it then but I don't know. I'm not a kid Franky. I want everyone to stop treating me like one. If he's causing trouble I should know about it."</p>
<p>"Deb, listen to me. No one is trying to treat you like a kid okay? But this is your mom's business. I can't get in the middle of that. You're her kid, she should be the one to tell you if anything is going on. Ask her. You two have a close relationship, you know she'd tell you if you'd ask."</p>
<p>"Franky, she has spent her whole life trying to protect me. She would rather die keeping this a secret than dragging me into it. I need someone who won't lie to me."</p>
<p>"Deb.."</p>
<p>There was a knock on the door and Allie came in. "Hey Franky, Bea...Debbie?" Allie looked from me to Deb back and forth. "Franky, can I talk to you for a moment please?"</p>
<p>"Allie, don't tell mom please. I just wanted to talk to Franky about something." Debbie pleaded. </p>
<p>"If it wasn't anything you shouldn't be doing then you wouldn't be asking me to hide it from your mom. Franky a minute please." </p>
<p>It didn't really sound like a request. I walked out to Red's office and closed the door. </p>
<p>"What the fuck are you doing? You just got out of the dog house with Bea, telling Debbie is going to get you killed."</p>
<p>"Relax Novak, I wasn't planning on saying anything. But she knows something's going on. She's smart and she's Red's kid, she knows it has to do with Harry. So either she tells her or, hell I don't know but you've just seen how persistent she is. She will do whatever it takes to get to the truth." </p>
<p>Allie groaned, "Bea wants to tell her. She doesn't want to but if anyone is going to it has to be her. She knows Debbie will figure it out. Just let Bea do it."</p>
<p>I nodded, "So do you want me to take Deb to school or should we call Red?"</p>
<p>"Bea is going to pop off either way. Maybe we should call her. If we let the day go by and don't tell her she's going to murder both of us."</p>
<p>I nodded, "I'll keep her in my office. You make the call yeah?"</p>
<p>"She wasn't even planning on coming in today. She had a rough night."</p>
<p>I clenched my jaw, "This is why I didn't want her to know Allie. She doesn't need this shit."</p>
<p>She put her hand on my shoulder, "I know why you did it. If you had involved me I would have probably kept it from her too. But it was killing you and Kaz to keep this a secret."</p>
<p>"But know it's killing Bea too. How's that any better?"</p>
<p>Allie nodded and I walked to my office. Debbie was sitting on the couch. I grabbed my office phone and dialed down to Liz. "Liz, could you send up some coffee and pancakes for mini Bea? Yeah, she and I are going to be up here for a bit so let the other chef's know that they should take care of everything until I go back down. And try to let me know when Red gets here, she might be upset."</p>
<p>Debbie looked at me, "Franky, fuck don't call her."</p>
<p>"I'm sorry Deb, it's already done. She needs to know you're here and you know she doesn't like it when you keep things from her."</p>
<p>"That's rich." She scoffed.</p>
<p>"Oi, she's the parent, you're the kid. I wish I had someone like that to look out for me when I was a kid. She's the best parent in the world. Don't give her a hard time."</p>
<p>Debbie nodded, "Why can't he just leave us alone?"</p>
<p>I went over to sit next to Debbie. I pulled her close to me and let her head fall on my shoulders. "I don't know kiddo, I don't know."</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>Maxine got here soon after Allie left. "You alright love?"</p>
<p>I shook my head and offered her coffee or tea. She asked for some tea and we sat down to talk. I gave it to her straight, I told her everything that happened in the last 24 hours and what led up to it. Maxine had her mouth open, she couldn't believe it.  "Bea, this is a lot to process."</p>
<p>"Believe me, I know."</p>
<p>"I know parts of you must be angry but you should know they were only looking out for you. I mean this Kaz person has spent years of her life protecting you, that must count for something."</p>
<p>"I get it, but it frustrates me that they felt that I was incompetent like I couldn't have taken care of myself."</p>
<p>"Bea, that's not what they were doing. They were trying to help you. I mean, and no offense hun, but you aren't looking too crash hot. This has taken one hell of a toll on you already, they wanted to limit you having to deal with this in order to spare you from any additional pain."</p>
<p>"What do I do? Franky said the police weren't taking this seriously until it turned into something much more consequential. I'm already a nervous wreck, the chance of Harry actually escaping Walford is hard to believe but not impossible. And don't even get me started on Deb."</p>
<p>"Love, you need to tell her. She's as smart as her mom, she'll figure it out or go looking for answers. You should be the one to tell her, not anyone else. I know this is hard but you need to see that what Kaz and Franky did wasn't all bad. They just wanted to look after you. You have been so strong for so long, you should let others watch out for you. Not fight your battles, we all know you're strong, you're Queen Bea."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous nickname Franky had given me years ago. "I just don't want people to see me as fragile or like they have to protect me because I can't do it on my own."</p>
<p>Maxine put her hand on top of mine. "No one sees you as weak or fragile. You are the strongest woman I have ever met." </p>
<p>My phone started to ring and I went to check it. It was Allie, she was probably just checking up on me, "Hey Allie. What's up?"</p>
<p>I heard her tell me to not freak out but that Debbie was at the restaurant and she wanted answers from Franky. Neither have told her anything but they decided that calling me would be better than letting her go to school. I felt my jaw clench and I put my hand on my forehead. "I'll be there in 10 minutes."</p>
<p>"The restaurant is 15 minutes away."</p>
<p>"I said what I said." I clicked off the phone and turned to look at Maxine. "Debbie went to Franky's."</p>
<p>Maxine gave me a look, "Let her explain herself before you kill her."</p>
<p>"Which her are you talking about?"</p>
<p>"I'm not even sure."</p>
<p>Maxine and I left my house and she hugged me and told me to keep calm. Everything would work out. I was having trouble believing that. I got in my car and revved up the engine. I drove to work in a short amount of time and parked outside. I walked in and saw Liz pick up the phone. I pointed at her, "Don't bother, I'll be there before she answers."</p>
<p>I saw Allie in my office and looked around, "Where's Deb?"</p>
<p>"Wow, you weren't kidding." She pointed to Franky's door and I didn't bother to knock. I opened the door and saw them sitting on her couch eating. </p>
<p>Debbie looked nervous and Franky got up, "Hiya Red, how've you been. Lovely weather aye."</p>
<p>I gave Franky a deadly stare and looked at Debbie. "Do you plan on explaining yourself?"</p>
<p>"Do you?"</p>
<p>I saw Franky from the corner of my eye grab her chest and close her eyes. </p>
<p>"Come on, let's go." I said grabbing her backpack and handing it to her. </p>
<p>She grunted and said goodbye to Franky and Allie. I looked at both of them, "I'll deal with you two later."</p>
<p>"I want whatever punishment you give Novak." Franky interjected.</p>
<p>"What why?" Allie asked.</p>
<p>"Because she'll kill me but she'll end up having hate sex with you. I'd rather get laid than lowered into a coffin."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and gave Franky the finger. She grinned and Allie slapped her arm. </p>
<p>Debbie got into the car and pouted. I looked over at her and thought about how to handle this. I was annoyed but I knew Maxine was right. I put the car in drive and kept driving. </p>
<p>"Uh mom, you drove past the house and the school. Oh man was Franky right, the cemetery is coming up are you going to kill me?"</p>
<p>I looked over at her and scoffed, "Do me a favor, stop hanging out with Franky. I'm not going to murder anyone, yet. Plus, you've already missed the first part of school, no point in you going in late. I'll write a note for tomorrow. Staying inside would just drive me insane. I need air."</p>
<p>We kept driving until we reached our destination. I looked over at Debbie who was grinning. "This punishment isn't so bad."</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and we got out. I had driven to Brighton beach. I used to bring Debbie here any chance I got when she was a kid. She used to love it here. She ran down and sat on the sand. I sat down with here. </p>
<p>"I used to love it here. The bathing boxes used to look like these huge houses when I was little." She said. </p>
<p>I nodded, "I know. You used to say that the colors the boxes were painted were pretty. You wanted one for you, one for me, and one for all your snails." </p>
<p>She smiled at the memory. I put my hand on her back and looked out to the ocean. I breathed in the air and sighed. The beach was my place of escape from Harry. I would bring Deb with me because I was afraid to leave them alone with his temper. Watching her run around, giggling and smiling always made me happy. If she was ever at school when Harry was in a mood, I'd take the bike and ride all the way over here just to get some moments of freedom, the chance to really breathe. "I don't want you to think that I'm purposely hiding things from you, I don't keep you in the dark because you're young or too naive to understand. You are a smart girl, you can figure out these things for yourself. I do it, because I don't want you to worry. As a parent, that's my job, not yours."</p>
<p>"Is he back?" She asked.</p>
<p>"Apparently, he never left. Franky and Kaz have been playing security guards with you and me. They have been keeping tabs on your dad and he's tried, several times, to get back at me for putting him in prison. He's getting bolder but I don't think he realizes how influential those two are."</p>
<p>"Franky has been protecting you, and Kaz? But isn't Kaz Allie's friend? You didn't even know her."</p>
<p>"Franky and Kaz have known each other for a while. Kaz is just as tough as Franky and she has contacts that were able to keep Harry in line for a bit. They've been protecting me, protecting us, for years. I found about it and I was angry at first, now I'm a bit more understanding."</p>
<p>Debbie scrunched her nose and her forehead. "I'll protect you mom. He won't ever hurt you again."</p>
<p>I got choked up. I pulled her close to me, "Deb, it is not your job to protect me. It's no ones job. He isn't going to hurt me again."</p>
<p>"Mom, maybe if I talk to him, I could tell him to stop."</p>
<p>I bit the inside of my mouth. "Deb, if you want to see your dad, I can't stop you. But, reasoning with him isn't going to help. I know him, he will take it as a challenge. He has been stopped all these times before and continues to try because this is a game to him, a power play. I don't want you putting yourself in danger."</p>
<p>"I don't want to see him, I want to help you."</p>
<p>"You can help me by going to school. Focusing on your studies. Not lying and going around my back to find things out. Ask me directly, anything you hear, I'd rather you hear from me. Don't give me the run around okay?"</p>
<p>She nodded and I hugged her while we watched the waves. "Mom?"</p>
<p>"Hmm."</p>
<p>"Do you think I could meet Kaz?"</p>
<p>"Why?" I asked.</p>
<p>"I want to thank her, for helping you."</p>
<p>I nodded and hugged her a little tighter. </p>
<p>"Mom?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Do you think we could go get some food, I'm starving."</p>
<p>I laughed and shoved her, "Deb you're always starving. I will never understand where you put it all. You and Allie eat like there is no tomorrow."</p>
<p>We got up and walked towards some of the beach cafes. As the day passed we drove back home. I got some things ready for work tomorrow. Allie and I had texted and she told me she was going to have a lazy day at home. She had the next two days off so she was just going to help Kaz at the shelter if anything. I mentioned that Deb wanted to meet Kaz and Allie said she'd talk to Kaz about it. I got ready for bed and spent some time looking up at the ceiling. I don't know if I was afraid to go to sleep or just couldn't shut my mind off. I heard a knock on my door and heard Debbie come in. "What's up sweetheart?"</p>
<p>"Could I stay with you tonight?"</p>
<p>I nodded and moved my blankets so she could get in. I hugged her and kissed her head. </p>
<p>"Love you mom."</p>
<p>"Love you Deb."</p>
<p>"To the moon and back."</p>
<p>Franky POV </p>
<p>My feet were killing me. I had stayed until closing because I hadn't helped prep for the morning. It was late and I wanted to see Gidge but she was going for drinks with Vera. I got home and got into my pajamas. I poured myself a drink. I felt my phone buzz and checked to see a text from Debbie. She was thanking me for protecting her mom. I presumed that meant Red had told her. It still worried me that Red knew. </p>
<p>I was about to turn the lights off and head to bed when I heard knocking at my door. I went over to check and broke out into the biggest smile. I pulled Gidge inside and kissed her before she got the chance to say anything. </p>
<p>She moaned and looked at me, "I wasn't sure if you'd be up for visitor's but I wanted to see you."</p>
<p>"Spunky, you can come see me any time. I was just heading off to bed but I can always take someone with me." I kissed her collarbone and heard her laugh. </p>
<p>She kissed me and we stumbled towards the bedroom. She pushed me onto the bed and removed my tank top. She kissed down my stomach. </p>
<p>"Fuck Gidge, I had no idea alcohol made you horny."</p>
<p>She removed my bra and sucked on my breasts. I moaned at the feeling of her tongue on my nipples. I groaned when she bit down on the top of my breast. </p>
<p>"You have no idea." She kissed me and started to remove my bottoms. This was going to be a fun night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Irresistible Forces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p>
<p>I woke up and got out of bed. I covered Debbie with my blanket to let her sleep a bit more. I showered and got dressed for work. While I was making Debbie breakfast I made myself some coffee. Last night was a little bit better, no nightmares but I did struggle to allow myself to fall asleep. Debbie helped by making me feel safe but I was scared to close my eyes. </p>
<p>Debbie got up and told me good morning. She went to get ready for school and sat down to eat her breakfast. Allie had texted me good morning and that she was going to talk to Kaz today about her and Deb meeting. If Kaz was okay with it, we could set it up for me to take her to meet Kaz. I was still a little weary about her and Kaz meeting. </p>
<p>When Debbie was ready I drove her to school myself in order to make sure no special detours happened like the ones she made yesterday. I handed her a note to give to the school and gave her a kiss on the head. "Have a good day at school sweetheart. Learn a lot, pay attention, and don't worry about anything else but your studies."</p>
<p>"Yes momma. Love you."</p>
<p>"To the moon and back." I drove to work and said hello to Liz. I went up to the office and groaned at the paperwork sitting on my desk. That's why I hate taking days off, not working weekends already made paperwork hell. Then to skip a day in the week when we have shipments dropped off definitely heavies the load. </p>
<p>I sat down and began working. I was typing away when I heard a quick knock on the door. "Come in."</p>
<p>"Morning Red."</p>
<p>"Morning Franky."</p>
<p>"It's good to have you back."</p>
<p>"I was gone for a day."</p>
<p>"Yeah I know, but it's boring here without ya. Who else am I supposed to bug?"</p>
<p>I rolled my eyes. "Hopefully somebody else."</p>
<p>"Fuck off. So, is everything good with Deb?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. She knows and isn't thrilled about what her dad is doing but I've managed to get her to focus on school rather than on her father. She wants to thank you and Kaz."</p>
<p>"She texted me last night thanking me. Are you going to let her meet Kaz?"</p>
<p>"I don't see why not. She's held this silent important role in our lives and Debbie wants to thank her. I am weary but it can't be a bad thing."</p>
<p>"Don't sweat it Red. Kaz is a top chick. She spends all her time helping others and taking care of them. And if you want, I could take her."</p>
<p>"I'll think about it. I think I should be the one to take her and also take a moment to talk to Kaz. But thanks anyway." I played with the pen on my desk and looked at Franky. "Um, Franky."</p>
<p>"Yeah." </p>
<p>"I wanted to run something by you, and if you're okay with it, I would like to start seeing Bridget again. I know it might be weird because you two are-"</p>
<p>"Why? What's wrong? Something's wrong. I fucking knew it." She interrupted. </p>
<p>"Fuck Franky nothing is wrong. I've just been having trouble sleeping and I know it's going to possibly continue. Bridget had helped me before, she had these great relaxation techniques that really helped. Again, it's only if you're okay with it. I know you two are together and it could make things weird."</p>
<p>Franky sad smiled, "I don't have a problem with it Red. If you need to see her go see her. I want you to be happy and good."</p>
<p>I nodded, "I'm going to call her later today."</p>
<p>"Righto, just take care of yourself Bea. It's not a problem."</p>
<p>I smiled, "Careful Franky, you used my real name again. You're losing your nickname power."</p>
<p>"Piss off." She stood up, "And get to work."</p>
<p>I laughed and looked back at my computer screen. </p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I picked up some coffees and headed to the shelter. I wanted to spend some time with Kaz and I didn't want to be home alone. I walked through the halls saying hi to some of the girls and reached Kaz's office to hear her and Will talking. </p>
<p>"Come on, you'll enjoy it." Will said. </p>
<p>"What if I fall off?" Kaz asked.</p>
<p>"You won't fall off. You'll have your arms wrapped around me. Plus, I'd never let anything happen to my best girl." </p>
<p>I rolled my eyes at the comment and knocked on the door. A moment passed before Kaz said to come in. </p>
<p>"Hey bubba, I wasn't expecting you till later." Kaz came over to hug me.</p>
<p>"I know, but I was getting bored at my place."</p>
<p>"Well, I should leave you two to it. Babe, just think about it." Will left and Kaz grinned. </p>
<p>"Okay, so how have things been?" Kaz asked while taking a sip of her coffee. </p>
<p>"Nuh uh. Babe? Who are you? What have you done to Kaz?"</p>
<p>"Don't give me shit Allie."</p>
<p>I put my hands up, "I'm not. I'm just happy for you. So it's serious yeah?"</p>
<p>"I mean he calls me babe and we spend time outside of work together. He wants to take me riding on his Harley."</p>
<p>"Oh my God Kaz you have to do it, it is so much fun. Plus you can put your hands anywhere you'd like." I winked. </p>
<p>"Ugh Allie. And about it being serious, I don't know, it's nice."</p>
<p>"That's great Kaz." I drank some coffee and cleared my throat. "So, I have a request from Bea."</p>
<p>Kaz's head shot up and she was ready and alert, "Not that kind of request. She's trying to keep her mind off of Harry as much as she can. Plus, you already heard her, she didn't like that you and Franky were paying to get him bashed. She wants to know if you'd be okay with meeting Debbie."</p>
<p>"Her daughter?"</p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>"Why?"</p>
<p>"Debbie wants to meet you. Bea told her what you and Franky did. I'm assuming she wants to talk to you about it, maybe thank you."</p>
<p>"She doesn't need to do that."</p>
<p>"She wants to, and trust me, you might want to say yes. Debbie is hard to say no to."</p>
<p>Kaz thought about it and nodded, "Fine."</p>
<p>"Okay, I'll let Bea know."</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>I picked up the phone and dialed Bridget's number. I wasn't sure if she'd answer because she was working and was about to hang up when she picked up. "Hello."</p>
<p>"Hey Bridget, it's Bea."</p>
<p>"Bea, it's good to hear from you. How are you?"</p>
<p>"I'm alright, that's why I was calling. I know it's kind of weird because of you and Franky, and I already spoke to her about it. But I was wondering if you'd consider bringing me back on as a client again?"</p>
<p>"Of course, if it's something you really want."</p>
<p>"I do, I'm just having trouble sleeping and you used to be great at helping me relax my mind."</p>
<p>"Well, then I want to help you as soon as I can in order to control this. How does tomorrow sound?"</p>
<p>"That's great, thank you Bridget, I really appreciate it."</p>
<p>"No worries. And Bea, just to ease your mind, I'd like to remind you that our sessions are completely confidential. I would never disclose anything you said to me in these meeting with Franky."</p>
<p>"Thank you." I hung up and took a deep breath. I saw a message on my phone, Allie had texted me telling me that Kaz was okay with Debbie and her meeting. I sent her a text thanking her. I asked her if I could bring Debbie by today after work, she said that would work with Kaz. </p>
<p>I texted Allie back, ~I miss you.~</p>
<p>~I miss you to baby. Do you want some company tonight after you go see Kaz?~</p>
<p>~I don't want to interrupt any plans you might have~</p>
<p>~Babe, my plans include ordering a pizza and eating all of it alone while watching horrible reality tv. Being with you is better than any plan I could possibly have~</p>
<p>I smiled, ~Then I would love for you to come over~</p>
<p>~Yay! See you then my love &lt;3~</p>
<p>I texted Debbie to be ready so I could pick her up after work. </p>
<p>As the day went on I got ready to head out. I finished my work and went down to the kitchen to say bye to Franky. She was helping clean down the flattop. "Oi Red, are you done for the day?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "I'm going over to Kaz's."</p>
<p>Franky took her gloves off and come over to me, "Look, I know what she and I did wasn't the smartest thing but don't be angry at her. She only did this because I asked her to. She's a good person."</p>
<p>"I know. And I'm not angry anymore. I get it." </p>
<p>I walked out of the kitchen and went to pick Debbie up. When I got home she had finished her homework and was waiting for me. I changed into some more comfortable clothes and we drove to the shelter. Allie told me she was working late tonight. I saw Will walking past and called out his name. </p>
<p>"Hey Bea, hey Debbie. Long time no see. You're getting so big." He hugged her. "Are you here to see Kaz?"</p>
<p>I nodded and he showed me to her office. Her door was open and she seemed to be reading something. He knocked and she looked up. "Hi. Come in." She quickly smiled and thanked Will. "Take a seat."</p>
<p>I noticed Debbie observing Kaz. I decided to speak first. "Kaz this is my daughter Debbie, Debbie this is Kaz."</p>
<p>Kaz reached her hand out and Debbie shook it.</p>
<p>"She wanted to come talk to you about some things but first, I wanted to apologize for how I reacted the other day when I found out. I shouldn't have blown up I was just caught off guard."</p>
<p>Kaz shook her head, "It's not a problem. We didn't mean to put you in a difficult situation. Franky and I were just doing what we though was best for the two of you. I'm sorry for hiding it from you. It was a little easier when I didn't really know who you were."</p>
<p>Debbie looked at me and I got the feeling that she wanted to talk to Kaz without me there. I nodded and got up. "I'm going to go catch up with Will." I patted Debbie on the shoulder and left Kaz's office. </p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>I was nervous, like really nervous. I have dealt with all kinds of people yet facing off with Debbie was truly terrifying. She looked just like her mother. She seemed strong headed and persistent. </p>
<p>"So, I'm assuming you wanted to ask me something or tell me something or are we just going to wait and see who blinks first?" I asked jokingly. </p>
<p>"You didn't even know her."</p>
<p>It was a statement, not a question. "No, I didn't. I knew Franky and she told me about what happened between your mom and dad. It really tugged at whatever heart strings I have. I wanted to help and Franky seemed desperate to help your mom. So we started this little alliance that was meant to protect mainly your mom, but also you."</p>
<p>Debbie got up and I'm not sure what I was expecting but what I got wasn't it. She hugged me. I stood with my hands at my sides and I slowly wrapped them around her. I felt drops of tears on my shoulder. I hugged her a little tighter, "It's alright bubba, let it out."</p>
<p>She cried and looked at me, "Thank you. Thank you for everything. I don't know how to ever pay you back for everything you've done for her."</p>
<p>"You don't have to do a thing. I would have always done it."</p>
<p>"I want to stop him from anything he wants to try to do to her."</p>
<p>"We will, as in me, Franky, and your mom. You shouldn't get yourself involved in all of this."</p>
<p>"I'm not a baby."</p>
<p>"You're your mother's baby. I thought she would have killed me when she found out, involving you would be signing my death certificate. Look, I will continue watching out for your mom. You let me take care of everything. Your biggest problems should be exams and boys."</p>
<p>Debbie rolled her eyes. "I want to do something to help her."</p>
<p>"I think keeping you out of all of this would make your mom very happy. Look, I know you want to help and feel like you're doing something, but we have this covered. You are a strong, smart, beautiful girl, focus on your future."</p>
<p>Debbie groaned and I laughed, "Come on, don't give your mom another reason to stress out."</p>
<p>"I just feel like I'm not doing anything important, I want to make a difference. I thought that helping her would fix that void."</p>
<p>I thought about it, "You want to make a difference while also giving you mom some peace of mind?"</p>
<p>She nodded quickly.</p>
<p>"You can help out here. I'm always looking for volunteers. You'll be somewhere doing good, and your mom has two people to keep an eye out on you, even three when Allie comes to help out."</p>
<p>Debbie smiled, "I'd like that."</p>
<p>I smiled back, "Good."</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>I found Will's office and knocked. "Not interrupting am I?"</p>
<p>"You? Never. Come in."</p>
<p>He came around to sit at the edge of his desk. I sat next to him and smiled, "So, Kaz huh?"</p>
<p>"What?" He smiled.</p>
<p>"When are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend, from what I've heard, she's your best girl so why not make it official?"</p>
<p>He scoffed. "Allie." He laughed, "I want to but I don't want to rush her."</p>
<p>"You aren't asking her to marry you, just to be officially yours."</p>
<p>"I'm just nervous she'll say no."</p>
<p>I laughed, "Look at you turning all red, never thought I'd see the day a girl made you feel like that again."</p>
<p>He nodded, "Neither did I. Kaz is special. She makes me happy. And she's not like other women I've tried to see, she's caring and she isn't just using me for sex or whatever. She's the real deal."</p>
<p>"If it makes you feel any better, she feels the same way about you."</p>
<p>He grinned. "I just don't know how she'd react once I tell her I've already been married."</p>
<p>I bit my lip and looked at him, "Don't be mad, but I kinda already told her."</p>
<p>"What, when?"</p>
<p>"After your guys' first date. I mentioned it when she said she wasn't sure if you were the relationship type."</p>
<p>"Huh, she's never mentioned it."</p>
<p>"Maybe she was waiting for you to, but besides that, it's time to ask her. If you want to prove you are serious, making it official would be the next step."</p>
<p>He nodded and we saw Debbie and Kaz walking over. </p>
<p>"All good?" I asked. </p>
<p>"All good." Kaz answered back.</p>
<p>"I'm going to volunteer at the shelter." Debbie grinned.</p>
<p>"Really?" I asked. </p>
<p>She nodded, "It seems cool, and I could make a difference."</p>
<p>I smiled and mouthed thank you to Kaz. She smiled and I stood up. "Well thank you to both of you but we have to head home. Allie is picking up some food for us and she's meeting us there."</p>
<p>Debbie smiled, "Good, I'm starving." </p>
<p>I laughed and we left. </p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>"So you got her to volunteer?" Will asked. </p>
<p>I nodded, "She said she wanted to help with what was going on with her mom. It didn't seem like a good idea to me, but she wanted to help out somehow. Working here would benefit her even in the smallest form."</p>
<p>He got close to me and kissed me. "Thank you."</p>
<p>"For what?"</p>
<p>"Bea told me that you know. You never asked."</p>
<p>I knew what he was referring to. "I figured you'd tell me when you were ready."</p>
<p>"Thank you." He kissed me again. "Do you want to go for a drink when you're off?"</p>
<p>"Absolutely."</p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I had decided on taking Thai food. There was a supermarket right next door and I decided to buy a bottle of wine for Bea and I. I was looking through different options when I heard a voice I never wanted to hear again. </p>
<p>"Allie?"</p>
<p>I turned and felt the blood drain from my body. "Marie."</p>
<p>"Allie, it's really you. How have you been sweetheart?" She got close to me but I stepped away. </p>
<p>"I'm fine."</p>
<p>"Allie, I've missed you."</p>
<p>I shook my head, "I've got to go."</p>
<p>"Allie, please wait. Let's talk. We can catch up. You look great."</p>
<p>"No thanks to you."</p>
<p>"Allie come on, you know I only tried to look after you. I loved you."</p>
<p>"Just leave me alone." I walked out of the store, I didn't even buy the wine. I drove to Bea's in shock and fear. I wanted to call Kaz but I didn't know if she was busy. And I didn't want to bother Bea with my problems when she had her own to worry about. I tried to shake the nerves off and put the best fake smile on my face. </p>
<p>"Hey babe." She greeted me. </p>
<p>I kissed her and went inside. I put the food on the counter. "Are you okay?" She asked me.</p>
<p>"I'm fine." I lied.</p>
<p>She called Debbie to eat and we sat at the table. I missed bits and pieces of their conversation. I heard Debbie say she wanted to help out at the shelter. </p>
<p>"That's great Deb. Kaz does some really great stuff at the shelter. I always love stopping by whenever I can."</p>
<p>Debbie kept talking about her day but I couldn't shake the feeling of Marie off of me. Everything she made me do, the drugs, the men, it made me want to throw up thinking about it. As it got late I helped Bea clean up. Debbie had gone to bed. I hadn't even realized Bea was trying to tell me something before she kept saying my name. </p>
<p>"Huh, sorry what?"</p>
<p>"What's with you tonight? You've been a bit in your head." Bea said. </p>
<p>I sighed, "Nothing, just stuff. I don't want to worry you with it. I'll be okay." I kissed her and she put her hand on my arm.</p>
<p>"What is it you told me? Don't shut yourself off because you have people who care about you, a whole village. Those are your people and your village too. What's wrong baby?"</p>
<p>I sat down and rubbed my face. "Marie, I saw Marie at the supermarket before I got here."</p>
<p>Bea sat down. "Are you okay?"</p>
<p>"It just shook me up a bit. I never thought I'd see her again. She said she missed me." I shuddered.</p>
<p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p>
<p>I shook my head. "Not really. I don't want to think about her. Do you think we could go to bed? I just really want to hold you."</p>
<p>Bea nodded and took my hand. We went to bed and she pulled me close to her. She rubbed my arm while I laid my head on her chest. I could hear her heartbeat. It was soothing. "Hey, I was supposed to be holding you."</p>
<p>I felt her smile, "Later. I want to hold you for now." She lifted my head to look at her and kissed me. As I was falling asleep I heard her whisper, "I'll protect you no matter what, beautiful girl."</p>
<p>Kaz POV </p>
<p>Will and I went out to this bar not too far from his house. We talked about his motorcycle again. </p>
<p>"Please, come on. I want to take you out for a ride. You'll love it, I promise." He pleaded.</p>
<p>"Fine, but if I don't like it, never again."</p>
<p>He smiled and put his hand on top of mine, "Do you want to know about Meg?"</p>
<p>"Not unless you want to tell me."</p>
<p>He smiled, "Its just hard sometimes. I went through a really rough patch after I lost her. I don't think I ever considered being with anyone seriously again until I met you."</p>
<p>I internally blushed and he got up. He grabbed my hand so we could head back to his place. He kissed me and we walked hand in hand out of the bar. We were stopped by a man who smiled and laughed. "No way, Will Jackson. Long time no see mate. How have you been?"</p>
<p>Will smiled and went to hug him. "Damn, Fletch. You're looking old mate."</p>
<p>"Piss off. Apologies, miss. I'm Matt but everyone calls me Fletch." He put his hand out. </p>
<p>I shook it, "Karen but everyone calls me Kaz."</p>
<p>"My bad Kaz. Fletch is an old friend of mine, we went to Uni together. Fletch this is my girlfriend Kaz."</p>
<p>I wasn't sure if I had heard that correctly or if my ears auto tuned what he said. Did he just call me his girlfriend?</p>
<p>"You must be one special girl to have been able to get this man on a leash. It was good to see you again Will, we should catch up."</p>
<p>"I'd like that." </p>
<p>They hugged again and Fletch said goodbye to me. We walked out of the bar and I'm not even sure he realized what he had said which made me wonder if it was an accident. We walked to his apartment and when we got in he pushed me against the door and kissed me. I moaned when he slipped his tongue in my mouth. He looked me in my eyes and grinned, "I should have formally asked you earlier before assuming but would you be my girlfriend?"</p>
<p>I smiled and brought his lips to mine again. "What do you think?"</p>
<p>He kissed me and carried me to his room. He laid me on the bed and we stayed there making out. I was feeling myself getting hot and started to lose my focus when he moved his hand to cup my breast from outside my shirt. He kissed my neck while I moaned and closed my eyes. I had my legs wrapped around him and could feel him starting to get hard. I wish I was but I wasn't ready. When he moved his hand under my shirt I felt the panic set in. I wasn't hot with desire, I was nervous and couldn't breathe. I moved his hand from under my shirt and moved from under him. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry Will, I am. I'm just not ready." I put my hands over my face in embarrassment. </p>
<p>He removed my hands from my face and forced me to look at him, "No, I'm sorry. I got carried away in the moment. We don't have to do anything unless you want to. I'm sorry Kaz."</p>
<p>I nodded and felt like I wanted to cry. I'd be damned to cry in front of him over my inability to be intimate with him. I felt stupid and useless. I got up and grabbed my jacket. "I should go."</p>
<p>"Hey, hold on. You don't need to leave. Look at me." He put his forehead against mine and kissed my nose. "If you really want to leave I'll drive you home, but don't feel like you have to. I know you aren't ready and I understand. I told you I would wait, and I plan on continuing to wait."</p>
<p>I sniffled and he hugged me. He took my hand and we went to bed. I hated this, I struggled for so long to be intimate with my ex because I never felt ready. When I finally was he was too rough. I was scared to take the next step with Will. I trusted him and felt safe with him but I was so afraid.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Heavy Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I woke up with Allie in my arms. She was absolutely stressed and exhausted from seeing Marie last night. I know it must have brought out some horrible feelings and flashbacks she didn't want to remember or ever relive again. I hated Marie, from everything I had heard, from Allie's reaction last night after seeing her again, it made me hate what she did to her. </p><p>I wanted to get up to get ready for work but I didn't want Allie to wake up alone. She started to move a bit in her sleep and I felt her move closer to me and seemed to breathe me in. </p><p>I smiled, "Are you smelling me?"</p><p>She nodded her head, "You smell good, like your shampoo and conditioner."</p><p>"Wild orchid."</p><p>She smelled me again and then looked up at me. She kissed me and grinned, "You taste even better."</p><p>"Cheeky. Are you feeling better?"</p><p>"A little bit, still thinking about everything. Not all happy thoughts though."</p><p>I caressed her face, "I'm sorry baby. I wish I could make these thoughts and feelings go away."</p><p>"It's alright, hopefully this was just a one time thing, and this nightmare that is Marie is completely over and I never have to see her again."</p><p>"I hope so too." I kissed her. "Do you want me to make you some breakfast."</p><p>She clinged onto me and shook her head, "Nuh-uh, I wanna snuggle."</p><p>I laughed, "Baby I have to get up soon to make Debbie something. She turns into a monster if she doesn't get something into her stomach, like someone else I know. And I have to get ready for work."</p><p>Allie groaned into my chest, "What time do you have to be at work?"</p><p>"I try to get there around 9:30 maybe 10. It's nearing 8:30 so I need to be up soon."</p><p>"Could you get there a little later than 10?" Allie mischievously. </p><p>"Depends, what'd you have in mind?"</p><p>She grinned, "You'll see. You should get up, I'm starving."</p><p>I tried to read her but couldn't. I laughed and got up. I made Allie and Debbie breakfast while I sipped on my coffee. Debbie said she was off to school and I kissed her on the head. "Righto, I'm going to go shower. Someone kept me in bed a little later than I should have been." I kissed her and went to the bathroom. I started to remove my clothes and went into the shower. I allowed myself to adjust to the feeling of the warm water and let my face soak it in. Before I knew it there were two hands on my waist and kisses being placed on my neck and my back. </p><p>I turned around and felt lips on mine. I moaned feeling Allie's wandering hands feeling me up. "Allie."</p><p>She kissed down my neck, my collarbone, moved to kiss my breasts. I felt myself getting wetter as her tongue circled around my nipples. She kissed down my stomach and got down on her knees. Watching her smile as she wrapped my leg around her and put her mouth on me expanded the heat I felt down in my core. I didn't even try to hide the sounds coming from my mouth. Debbie wasn't home and Allie was so good at what she was doing. She stuck two fingers in while she licked through my folds. She rubbed my clit and I felt myself getting closer. "Allie please...I'm so close...I need to cum."</p><p>Allie used the two fingers she had inside me and curved them a bit. I gasped at the feeling and couldn't control myself, I came hard. I heard her moan, shortly after she kissed back up my body and kissed me allowing me to taste myself. </p><p>"Mmm, breakfast was always my favorite meal of the day." She grinned.</p><p>"You are terrible." I laughed.</p><p>"The worst." </p><p>I bit my lip and kissed her. I moved us so she was now against the wall. "Well, I think it's about time I had some breakfast too."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I had woken up before Will had and I had left early morning. I didn't mean to run off but I just didn't want some weird sympathy talk or forced conversation about what happened last night. I was so fucking embarrassed and annoyed at myself. It's like I couldn't move on which was ridiculous because it happened so long ago, I should have gotten to a point in my life where being intimate with someone didn't bother or scare me anymore. </p><p>I got to the shelter and saw a text from Allie. She asked if we could meet at her place for lunch. She needed to tell me something. From the tone of the text, it didn't sound good. I was thinking of the list of possible things it could be, fight with Bea, fight with Franky, issue with work, etc. I was starting to get nervous about what could be wrong with Allie. I wasn't sure if I could wait until later to talk. </p><p>I texted her back, ~Bubba, is everything alright?~</p><p>~Not really, I saw Marie last night and I'm a bit shaken up~</p><p>I felt my stomach drop. ~Do you want to meet now?~</p><p>~What about the shelter?~</p><p>~You always come first Allie~</p><p>~If you could come over a little earlier, I'd appreciate it. I just left Bea's~</p><p>~I'm on my way~</p><p>I grabbed my bag and was just about to leave when Will opened the door. Not what I needed. "Hey."</p><p>"Hey, are you okay? You were gone before I woke up."</p><p>"Yeah I had things to do, I'm uh, I have to go see Allie, she needs me."</p><p>"Is everything alright?"</p><p>"Probably not. And I told her I was on my way. I need to go." </p><p>He stopped me and got in my way. "Kaz, I want to talk about what happened last night. Look, I know I may have crossed a line but something happened with you to make you react that way. I've worked with mothers and kids for the majority of my career and I know what that reaction when someone tries to touch to-"</p><p>"Stop. Don't. I'm not going there, not with you. Get out of my way." I replied through gritted teeth.</p><p>"Kaz, talk to me. I'm not going to judge you or look at you any differently."</p><p>I looked at him angrily, "Get out of my way Will."</p><p>He stepped aside and I ran past him. I ran to my car and hadn't realized there were tears running down my face until I felt the drops on my jeans. I wiped them away and felt the way they burned against my skin. </p><p>I drove to Allie's and composed myself in the car before going to her apartment. When I knocked, she opened and I immediately went to hug her. "Tell me everything."</p><p>"It just happened you know. One minute I was happy, looking forward to being with Bea and the next I was internally panicking because I had seen the one person in the world I never wanted to see again. And do you know what the scariest part is Kaz? That she still had that power over me. The way she spoke, the way she looked at me, the way she tried to get close to me, it's like she can instantly read you. Tap into your head, it's like she knows exactly where you're vulnerable. She always used that to get what she wanted from me."</p><p>"Allie, I'm so sorry. That fucking bitch. You want me to deal with her?"</p><p>"No! I don't want you getting involved. Please, just let it be. I'll probably and hopefully never see her again."</p><p>"She better fucking hope so." I rubbed her back and looked at her. "She is not getting her hooks back into you again, okay?"</p><p>Allie nodded and I kissed her head. </p><p>"Do you want a drink?" She asked.</p><p>"You know what? Why the fuck not."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I had spent the majority of the day working, my appointment with Bridget was at 2. Franky knew about it and gave me a hug which was a very sweet sentiment. I arrived a little early and Bridget came out to the waiting room with a smile. "Always early, some things never change."</p><p>"Bad habits." I laughed. </p><p>"Nothing bad about being prepared. Come on."</p><p>We took our seats, she offered me some tea which I accepted and we started talking. </p><p>"So, how did you sleep last night?"</p><p>"Same as the night before, Allie was there and she was distressed about something that had happened earlier so I was more worried about her."</p><p>"So you spent the night focusing on her, deflecting, rather than focusing on yourself."</p><p>I crinkled my nose knowing what she was about to say next.</p><p>"Bea, we've talked about you putting yourself first. Since you've been a child you have put others before yourself. As important as what Allie was going through, you can't allow yourself to go without sleep."</p><p>"I know, I'm just afraid to shut my eyes. If I do I feel like I'm back there with him. Like, if I close my eyes all of this will disappear and I'll be put back there with him."</p><p>"Part of working through this is addressing your issue with sleep and eliminating and minimizing your fear of Harry and what happens with your mind at night. You have every right to to feel afraid, but you need to remind yourself that he is still behind bars, he has no power, and it seems like you have some fairy godmothers that have been looking after you."</p><p>I slightly smiled. "Yeah, I'm not sure if they're trying to be godmothers or Charlie's Angels."</p><p>Bridget laughed, "Okay, so I have explained to you before the negative aspects of losing sleep.  It affects your health; immune, mental, emotional. Everyone needs sleep Bea. Is there anything that has helped you sleep these past few days?"</p><p>"I had a nightmare the other night, Allie helped me but I was still afraid to close my eyes."</p><p>"Well, in the past you said taking a bath and surrounding yourself with certain incenses helped you relax. I would suggest trying that again tonight. Create an environment in which you can sleep well and where you will get the most rest. If Allie is part of that safety net, I think having her around during bedtime would be beneficial."</p><p>"I just don't want to bother her, she shouldn't have to babysit me so I could fall asleep. And she has her own things going on, I don't want to bug."</p><p>"Maybe you should talk to her about it, has she even given off the intonation that sleeping together bugged her?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Then don't think about it as bothering her. Look at it as reciprocal benefits. You mentioned she had a bad day, did she sleep alright with you?"</p><p>"She seemed to, I don't think she woke up. She went to sleep in my arms and we woke up that way."</p><p>"Then, maybe both of you gain from having this mutual state of rest."</p><p>We continued to talk about different methods of sleeping and resting, how to deal with the bodies way of overstimulating the brain which makes it hard to sleep especially for trauma survivors. We ended our session with Bridget asking me to try using some of the sleeping techniques she had mentioned, and also sleeping with Allie if it really helped. </p><p>I went back to work and Franky nodded at me. I nodded back and went back to my desk. I looked at my phone and had some missed texts from Allie that weren't making a whole lot of sense. I was trying to understand them but it was hard to. I decided to go see her after work. I shot Deb a text telling her I was stopping by Allie's and that there was dinner in the fridge. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>"Bubba, no more."</p><p>Allie was pissed. She drank double the amount I had and wanted more. "Kaz more, pwease."</p><p>"No, absolutely not. You are pissed."</p><p>"I like it." She pouted. </p><p>"Yup, you're gonna love it tomorrow morning when you have to go to work."</p><p>She stuck her tongue out and laughed as she tripped over her couch. She fell on the floor laughing. I know she was just trying too escape this fucked up reality where Marie came back into her life and scared the shit out of her. But she was absolutely thrashed. I heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it, "Stay here, don't move."</p><p>She put her finger on her mouth in a silence motion and laughed. I rolled my eyes and went to open the door. "Bea, hi."</p><p>"Hey, I wanted to check on Allie, she texted me but they weren't making sense."</p><p>I chuckled, "Yeah, well she's pissed." I moved aside and let her through. </p><p>Allie saw Bea and jumped up. "Bea! You came! Let's drink."</p><p>Bea looked over at me and I put my hands up. </p><p>"I'm not sure that's a good idea baby, I think you need some rest."</p><p>"Nuh-uh, I wanna party. You wanna pat my pussy mama."</p><p>I scoffed and Bea turned bright Red. I looked at Bea, "Don't worry, I got this."</p><p>I grabbed Allie and took her to the bedroom. I knew she was tiring herself out and she'd be asleep in no time. Once she got into bed I removed the hair from her face and let her rest. I went back out to the living room and saw the Bea had cleaned up. "Thanks, I hope she didn't scare you. She gets very silly when she's drunk."</p><p>"I can see that. Thank you for watching after her."</p><p>"No worries, she was just stressed about Marie."</p><p>"She takes a toll on her huh?"</p><p>"You have no idea. Marie is the devil and if I had my way I'd be behind bars."</p><p>"What's she like, Marie?"</p><p>I sat down and really thought about it, "She looks sweet, kind. She tries to get on your good side and she loves the power she gets by taking these girls off the street and hooking them on gear. They become completely dependent on her. Allie wasn't the first girl I tried saving from Marie and she wasn't the last. But it was hard to get Allie away from her. She does this thing where she gets close to you, she takes a piece of your hair and put it behind your ear or caresses your face and it's like she's hypnotizing you. The girls fall for her kindness and do anything she asks. She acts like she's superior to everybody else, like no one can touch her. I wanted nothing more than to rip that fucking look off her face."</p><p>"I heard you had a temper, what stopped you?"</p><p>I smiled, "Allie. I would have tackled Marie to the ground every chance I got but Allie was this scared little girl who was begging me not to. She means the world to me, she's like a daughter, a sister. I wanted to protect her but I didn't want her to fear me. I love her, so she asked me not to and I didn't."</p><p>"Franky was right, you are a good person. You're like a protector of women."</p><p>I grinned at the thought. "Seems a bit narcissistic but I'll take it."</p><p>"So how are things going with you and Will?"</p><p>I froze at the thought, "We're...alright I guess."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I noticed Kaz's hesitancy and felt like something wrong happened. Had he not asked her to be his girlfriend yet? Idiot. </p><p>"Kaz, are you alright?"</p><p>"It's nothing, just me being me. I have hang ups from my past and I just don't want to keep Will waiting for me to come around because I might never be able to."</p><p>"He wouldn't ever force you to do anything."</p><p>"I know that, but I just-" She wiped her hands on her jeans and crossed her legs. "I just can't do it. I'm so fucked up, I can't do that with him."</p><p>It didn't take a genius to figure out what she was trying to say. My admiration for Kaz just grew. "Did something happen last night? You two seemed fine when I saw you at the shelter."</p><p>"We uh, went to go get drinks. He ran into an old friend and he introduced me as his girlfriend which I thought was very sweet. And then we went back to his place and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend and we were kissing. We never really go past that but I guess I let myself get carried away and panicked when it seemed like he was trying to go further."</p><p>I nodded, "Did he react badly?"</p><p>"No no, he was a gentleman. He stopped and tried to talk to me about it but I just couldn't get that fear out of my mind. And this morning he tried to talk to me about it and I guess I reacted like a victim and now he basically knows which makes me feel worse than the whole panicking part."</p><p>I put my hand on top of Kaz's. "Kaz, I'm so sorry."</p><p>She shook her head, obviously not wanting me to feel like I had to feel sorry for her. I used to do that too. "Kaz, I know that everyone's experience is different, and that whatever my experience was will never match yours and vice versa. I also know that nothing I can say can make you feel better, but working through it, talking through it does help. It doesn't have to be with Will, or even with me but my therapist has been the biggest support system through all this time. Being sexual or intimate was never something I liked and Harry, well Harry was Harry, so after we got divorced I never thought I could get to a point like that again. But working through my past helped me realize I could be a sexual person. Allie told me that good sex, real sex is mental too, doing it with the right person can open you up to becoming intimate."</p><p>"It just feels frustrating you know? What happened with me happened so long ago, you'd think I'd be over it already."</p><p>"There is no time limitation for working through your grief Kaz. Some people are able to work through it faster than others but there is no correct way or time to handle it."</p><p>She nodded, "I like Will, more than I've ever really liked any guy. He is really kind and sweet and I can really see myself with him but let's be honest, no relationship can actually be a relationship without some form of affection and closeness."</p><p>"That may be true but not all relationships jump into sex right away. Some people wait until that moment where both parties are comfortable and ready. Bridget's my therapist and she told me that waiting can help build sexual tension. Maybe waiting isn't a bad thing."</p><p>Kaz shrugged, "I just feel bad for pushing him away, I just don't know if I can talk to him about this. He'll see me differently. No one is going to want to touch the girl who's dad used to fuck her."</p><p>I squeezed Kaz's hand, "Kaz, I am so sorry. No child deserves to go through something like that. You didn't deserve that. But you're wrong Kaz, what your father did to you doesn't reflect negatively on you. It isn't your fault, you were a child. Will has worked with so many families, mothers and children. He may have sensed what your fear meant but he would be the last person in the world to judge you or look at you any differently." </p><p>Her phone started to ring and she took a deep breath, "It's Will."</p><p>"Don't ignore him forever Kaz. He won't let up, he is relentless when he really wants something. He will not look at you any differently, I can guarantee it. And if you want..." I pulled out Bridget's card from my bag, "You should look into talking to Bridget. She's really good. She has helped me through so much and made me understand that everything that happened wasn't my fault."</p><p>She took the card and looked at it, "I'll think about it. I should go. I've left the shelter for too long. Are you going to stick around?"</p><p>I nodded, "Yeah, I don't think she should wake up alone. And I want to be around just in case she needs to throw up."</p><p>"Thank you for everything you've done for her Bea. I honestly don't think I have ever seen her happier."</p><p>I smiled and walked Kaz out. I reached out and hugged her. I generally wasn't someone who was very touchy with others but I felt like she needed to know that she wasn't looked at any differently from anyone, including me. She smiled and left the apartment. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I got back to the shelter and went to my office. I had barely been alone for like 5 minutes before Will was knocking on my door. </p><p>"Yeah." I called out. </p><p>"Kaz, I didn't mean to upset you earlier. You don't have to talk about if you don't want to but don't hide from me."</p><p>I looked at him, "I don't want to hide from you but I can't stand you looking at me like some victim. I wouldn't be able to handle your sympathy or this look of sadness that you're giving me now."</p><p>"I don't see you as a victim."</p><p>I scoffed, "Yeah you do. I get it, you can't help it. Will, I told you it takes me a long time to open up to people, it's just the way I am. Intimacy isn't something I have ever been comfortable with. I can't be leading you on because I'm not sure if I'll be able to give you what you want."</p><p>"And what is that?"</p><p>"Sex Will. Intimacy, closeness. I freaked out when you touched me. I've only been intimate with less than a handful of people and I am never able to enjoy it. It's terrifying."</p><p>He got close to me and kissed me, I kissed him back. It got heated pretty quick and we were both panting when we separated. He put his forehead against mine, "Intimacy isn't only about sex Kaz. Intimacy is about how you feel about that person. Liking, caring, loving. You can't force that. I don't want you to rush to try to please me by sleeping with me. That is the last thing I want. I want what you and I had, what we have, what we will continue to have. A lot go the time sex is so meaningless, I don't want that with you and me. I want you to feel comfortable enough to feel like you could enjoy it, if that means I have to wait then I'll wait forever." He held me close to him, "If you don't want this anymore, the last thing I want to do is force you. But if you still want this, then let's work through it, I don't want to throw this away."</p><p>I grabbed him by his neck and kissed him, "I don't want to throw this away, I want you too."</p><p>He kissed me and held me. I wanted this to work, I wanted to stop being afraid. I was going to get help, Will deserved it, I deserved it. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I woke up to a dark room, and with a pounding headache. I looked over at my clock and it was 10pm. I groaned and cursed when I felt the pounding increasing. I saw a glass of water and two aspirins on my side table and drank them. I slowly got up and walked out to the living room. I realized that I wasn't wearing my jeans and shirt I had on earlier, I was wearing pjs. I heard audio from the tv and walked out to see Bea sitting on the couch. "Morning."</p><p>I groaned, "Too loud."</p><p>She grinned and patted to the area beside her. I walked over and put my head on her shoulder. She stroked my hair and kissed my head, "Poor baby."</p><p>"How much did I have to drink?"</p><p>"Kaz said double whatever she had then some. I'm just trying to figure out how much because Kaz seemed sober but you were gone." She grinned.</p><p>"I feel like crap, and I have work tomorrow." </p><p>"See what happens when you party on a school night."</p><p>I groaned again and wrapped myself around her. "Wait, what about Debbie, shouldn't you be home?"</p><p>"I texted her that I'd be here, I didn't want to leave you alone. She invited a friend over."</p><p>"Awww, you want to take care of me."</p><p>"I'm not sure, I should reconsider."</p><p>"What, why?"</p><p>"You wanna pat my pussy momma?"</p><p>I looked at her with a confused look. </p><p>"You said that to me when I got here."</p><p>"Get fucked."</p><p>"Swear."</p><p>"Ugh, babe I'm sorry. I would have never-" She cut me off with a kiss. </p><p>"I know you were drunk and didn't realize what you were doing and saying. Just keep the binge drinking to a minimum yeah?"</p><p>I nodded and kissed her cheek, "So you're staying the night? That means we can snuggle."</p><p>Bea laughed, "Well I don't think I can do much with you clinging on to me like this."</p><p>"It's cause you're my seahorse, I'm trying not to lose you."</p><p>She kissed me and looked me in my eyes, "Baby, you'll never lose me."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will and I had picked up dinner and taken it to my place. Things were a bit better after our little talk. I decided I was going to call Bridget in the morning. It was late and I had my head on his chest. He was stroking my arm. I heard a text come from my phone. </p><p>"Ignore it, it's late." </p><p>"Maybe it's important." I kissed him and went to reach over to grab it. I clicked it open, "Oh my God."</p><p>"What?" Will got up. </p><p>"Harry Smith was caught trying to escape Walford. He's dead."</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Crashing Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Franky POV</p><p>Gidge and I were getting ready for bed. "Gidge come on, I'm not asking for details just a yes or no to my question."</p><p>"Franky, I cannot disclose what Bea and I spoke about, I am more than happy to talk about you but I can't break that confidentiality."</p><p>"All I want to know is if she's okay."</p><p>"Franky." </p><p>I groaned. "Fine, I'll stop. I'm just worried about her."</p><p>She wrapped her arm around my neck, "I know you are baby. But, she can't be doing too bad if she took the first step and initiated going back to therapy. She knows her body and her mind. She asked for help and is willing to get it."</p><p>I laid my head on her shoulder. "Let's go to bed Spunky."</p><p>We kissed and were walking towards the bedroom when there was frantic knocking at my door. Only one person has the audacity. I looked at Gidge, "It's Kaz." I ran to open the door. "What is it? Something happened."</p><p>Kaz looked breathless looking like a wreck, "He's dead Franky. Harry Smith is dead."</p><p>I looked at Gidge, "Fuck, how?"</p><p>Kaz came in and sat down, "He was caught trying to escape. Miles said he had been frantically calling his cousin for updates but because of the little talk he and I had, he stopped answering the calls. He answered one yesterday telling Harry he wasn't going to take any part of this, that he couldn't help him. I guess Harry lost it, he got desperate and tried to leave the prison. He was a bloody idiot about it. He was able to steal a swipe card and used some vents but there were guards on the prison towers. They saw him running across the top of the prison, they shot him and he fell. He was dead before he hit the ground."</p><p>I let go of the breath I was holding. "It's over."</p><p>Kaz nodded with a hint of happiness. "Well, partially. Someone has to tell Bea. The prison will most likely contact her in the morning, but do you want her to wait till then?"</p><p>I shook my head, "No way. No more hiding things from her. I'll tell her. Fuck, we have to tell Deb too. I'll go over to Red's."</p><p>"She's not at home, she's at Allie's."</p><p>I nodded, "I'll tell her. I'll go." I went to go change and to grab a jacket. "I'll be back later Spunky, don't wait up."</p><p>Gidge kissed me, "Be careful baby."</p><p>Kaz and I walked out of my place. She walked towards her car, "Come on, I'll drive."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie and I were cuddling with out hands intertwined. She said she was tired but couldn't sleep. "I shouldn't have drank so much."</p><p>I grinned, "Do you think you'll be alright to go to work tomorrow."</p><p>Allie groaned, "Don't remind me."</p><p>I was going to kiss her when there was knocking on her door. "Were you expecting company?"</p><p>"This late at night? No way."</p><p>"Maybe it's Kaz." I suggested. I got up and went to answer the door, Allie following behind me. I opened the door to Franky and Kaz. I felt this sickness in my stomach. "Harry?"</p><p>Franky nodded, "But depending on how you feel about it, it might not be bad Red."</p><p>I was confused. Kaz and Franky came in. Allie sat down on the couch. I stayed standing, "What is it? Did he make a plan on how to escape? Did his cousin not stick to his deal with Kaz? What?"</p><p>Kaz spoke up, "Bea, I received a phone call from Linda an hour ago. Harry's dead."</p><p>I felt my legs give out. Franky grabbed me and led me to the couch. Kaz went to go get some water while Allie rubbed my back. Harry was dead, he was gone, it was over. I didn't say anything, I didn't know what to say. I should be thrilled, jumping up and down for joy. This weight had just been lifted off of my shoulder yet I felt paralyzed like I couldn't move or get the words out. Harry was dead. </p><p>I hadn't realized Allie had tried talking to me before I heard her repeating my name, "Bea."</p><p>I looked at her, "Huh, yeah."</p><p>"Bea are you okay?"</p><p>I looked at Franky and Kaz. "I-uh don't know. I'm-Debbie. I need to tell Debbie, I need to see her and tell her and -"</p><p>"Red, it's late. She's probably asleep. You should get some rest."</p><p>"I need to go home, I need to see Debbie."</p><p>"We'll drive you, come on." Kaz said. </p><p>"I'll come too." Allie stood up.</p><p>"No," I stopped her. "You should rest, you're already going to have one hell of a day tomorrow. Stay." I squeezed Allie's hand. </p><p>She looked sad about staying but nodded. I followed Franky and Kaz to the car. "Wait, I drove here. I could drive home."</p><p>"Nuh, you're in no state to drive. Give me your keys, I'll drive your car. You go with Kaz in hers." Franky put her hand out and I handed her my car keys. </p><p>I got in to the passenger side of Kaz's car. She didn't try saying anything to me which I appreciated because I wasn't in the mood for small talk. Before I knew it we were at my place. Kaz placed a hand on my shoulder and I went inside. I unlocked the door of the house to no lights on. I quietly walked over to Debbie's room and saw that her and her friend were sleeping. I took a deep breath and closed the door. I went to my bedroom and sat on the bed. Franky came over and bent down. "Red, are you okay?"</p><p>I nodded slowly. </p><p>"Do you want me to stay, I don't mind."</p><p>I shook my head, "I'm fine."</p><p>"Bea, do you want me to call Allie to come over?"</p><p>I shook my head again. "She needs to rest. I'll be fine Franky. Go home."</p><p>Franky game me the look like she didn't believe me, I didn't really believe me either. I didn't know what I was going to do. How was I supposed to tell Deb? She had school tomorrow and I didn't want to hide it from her. But I didn't want her to have that on her mind during classes. I wanted to be alone but I also didn't. I felt sad, hurt, I wasn't sure why. Franky kissed my cheek and winked at me. </p><p>Kaz and Franky left and the tears came falling down. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Franky and I left Bea's house and we stayed in my car. "What now?" I asked. "We can't just leave her alone."</p><p>Franky pulled her phone out, "Not planning on leaving her alone. There is only one person who could get her to talk about anything, and one person she wouldn't be mad at if they were here in the morning."</p><p>Franky sent a text and we waited for about 30 minutes before a car pulled up. Franky and I got out. I didn't recognize the woman who got out of the car. </p><p>"Thanks for coming Maxie." Franky went over and hugged her.</p><p>"Of course. You two are sure, he's dead?" She asked. </p><p>Franky nodded. "Oh, this is Kaz, Kaz this is Maxine."</p><p>I shook her hand.</p><p>"Nice to finally meet you Kaz." She responded. "I got this, you two go home. I'll get one of the girls to open up the shop tomorrow. And I wouldn't count on Bea going into work tomorrow."</p><p>"No worries. Just watch her yeah?" Franky asked. </p><p>Maxine nodded. She pulled out some keys, which I assumed meant she had a copy. We drove off, I walked Franky to her door. "Feels weird doesn't it?"</p><p>I nodded, "It's over, but it also feels like it has just begun."</p><p>Bridget opened the door and hugged Franky. Franky said goodbye to me and went inside. </p><p>"How was Bea?" Bridget asked.</p><p>"I don't think it's set in. She was in shock. Maxine went over to spend the night. But, something tells me she might need some help. I know you're her therapist."</p><p>Bridget nodded, "I'll do my best to stop by sometime tomorrow. I don't want to overwhelm her. She needs to really process what's happening."</p><p>I nodded, "Funny enough, I was going to try to make an appointment with you but now seems like a bad time." </p><p>"You have my number yeah?"</p><p>"Bea gave it to me."</p><p>"Give me a call tomorrow Kaz, I'll be more than happy to set something up."</p><p>"Sure, goodnight Bridget."</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>After Kaz had left I went over to the bedroom. Franky was sitting on the edge of the bed with her head in her hands. I sat down next to her and brought her towards me. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"She looked bad Gidge. Like she had gotten heartbreaking news."</p><p>"Well, she was just told her ex-husband died Franky."</p><p>"Yeah but he was a bad person, a bastard. He beat and abused her. She shouldn't be sad."</p><p>"Franky, everyone reacts to grief differently. You may not understand her process but it's not for you to get. Harry was a horrible man, but he was her husband, he was the father of her child. She needs to process all of that, she just lost a big part of her life. Regardless of what he had done to her, he was still important in her life." I squeezed her hand, "Come on, let's go to bed."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I woke up to the sun coming through the window. I got up and saw I was still dressed in the clothes I had on yesterday. It was 9:30 am, I was late for work and Deb had already left for school. I groaned and got up. I walked to the kitchen to see Maxine standing there making coffee. </p><p>"What are you doing here?"</p><p>"Good morning to you too love." She placed the cup of coffee in front of me. I moved it away from me. </p><p>"When did you get here?"</p><p>"Late last night. Franky called me, she didn't want you to be alone. I got here and you were already asleep. I didn't want to wake you so I stayed here on the couch. I was up before Deb and her friend got up. I told her that you ended up coming home late last night, that I went with you to Allie's. I didn't feel like driving home so I stayed here."</p><p>"She bought that?"</p><p>"Doubt it."</p><p>I sad smiled. "How do I tell her?"</p><p>"You could try by saying it."</p><p>"Smartass."</p><p>She put her hand on top of mine, "Are you alright love?"</p><p>I shrugged. "It is what it is."</p><p>"Speaking in cliches isn't your thing Bea."</p><p>"I slept, for the first time in the past few nights, I slept. But I cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling, destroyed. And I don't know why." I got up and started to pace. I felt myself starting to cry.</p><p>Maxine came near me, "Come here, come here, babe." She hugged me while I cried into her chest. </p><p>"Oh God, I don't even know why I'm fucking crying." Maxine gave me a tissue. "I hated Harry. After everything he did to me, I wanted him dead. I wanted him dead. But now he is, I wish I could take it all back. I mean, when Kaz and Franky told me what they were doing I was angry at them because they were hurting him because they thought that's what I wanted. How fucking weak is that?"</p><p>"It's not weak. He was linked to your old life. He was, for better or worse, your husband. He is still Debbie's father."</p><p>"I thought I was stronger than this."</p><p>"I've told you this before, but I think I might need to repeat it for you to really hear it. You're the strongest woman I've ever met."</p><p>I shook my head, "All I am, is a woman with a shitload of blood on her hands." Maxine hugged me again while I continued to cry. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I got to work hoping to catch Bea. I tried calling her last night but it went straight to voicemail. I was about to head upstairs when Franky whistled catching my attention. "She's not coming in today Novak."</p><p>"She's missing work again?"</p><p>"Give her a break, she got some pretty heavy news last night."</p><p>I went over to Franky and whispered, "Yeah, but it was about Harry. He's dead, it's what she would have wanted. It's what we all wanted. That can't be taking that much of a toll over her, right?"</p><p>"Fuck if I know. I'm just as confused as you are. Gidge told me it was some grieving process or whatever but I don't get this either."</p><p>"I just want to be there for her Franky, help her."</p><p>She put her hand on my shoulder, "We all do blondie, but just give her some space. Maxine is over there right now, she usually knows how to help her."</p><p>I nodded and went to work. I couldn't understand Bea and why she was taking Harry's death so hard. Sure, he was still Debbie's father but they have both shown this disdain towards him. Bea hated Harry, so why was she so taken back by his death?</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I got out of the shower and wiped the glass. You could tell I had been crying. I was frustrated, I couldn't understand why this was affecting me so much. I hated that he continued to have this control over me. I heard a knock on the bathroom door as I was brushing my hair. "Yeah?"</p><p>"Bea, Bridget's here."</p><p>I sighed and came out the bathroom. Bridget stood up and smiled, "Hello Bea."</p><p>"Hey." I went over to sit on the couch. Bridget sat across from me. </p><p>Maxine had made us both some tea. "I'm going to run some errands. I'll leave you two to it." She squeezed my shoulder and left. </p><p>I sighed and looked at Bridget, "Franky thinks I'm crazy doesn't she?"</p><p>"Does it matter if she does?"</p><p>I shrugged, "I know I think I'm crazy."</p><p>"Why do you feel crazy?"</p><p>I laughed, "Because I'm crying over a man who used to beat and rape me. A man who used to make me feel like I was worthless, completely useless. Like I didn't matter. He never failed to remind me what a disappointment and a waste I was. How he should have married someone else, I was a horrible wife and a horrible mother. He spent years getting in my head, drilling it into me that I didn't deserve his 'love.' I should be thrilled, I should feel free."</p><p>"What do you feel Bea?"</p><p>"I feel defeated. What a fucking joke right?"</p><p>Bridget shook her head, "Bea, it is not uncommon for victims to mourn or grieve when their abusers pass. There are several psychological losses that victims go through that explain this grief."</p><p>"Like?"</p><p>"Well, with your case specifically, I think your losses align with loss of time, loss of ever being able to understand why that person was so harmful, loss of the object of anger, and possibly loss of what could have been. You mentioned that Harry had spent years talking down to you during your marriage, you spent years with a man you didn't love. You lost years of your life, your grief could mean you're grieving that lost time. You never got an explanation or an answer as to why Harry changed. He went from being a kind man to an abuser overnight, you never got answers for any of it or an apology. You might be grieving because you can't be angry. You aren't a violent person Bea, anger isn't something you embody, because of that you could be using sadness to cope with that anger."</p><p>"What about the what could have been one? When Harry and I were apart, I never wanted us to get back together."</p><p>"That is more for feelings you might have about the relationship that Debbie and Harry could have had. You have mentioned before that Harry never touched Debbie. For the most part, he was a good father and continually loved and supported her. You could possibly be mourning her loss too."</p><p>I wiped my nose with a tissue, "You need to stop being good at your job, it's getting annoying."</p><p>Bridget gave me a slight smile. "Have you told Debbie?"</p><p>I shook my head, "She was asleep when I got here last night. I slept in this morning, only good thing from all of this, so she was gone by the time I woke up. I'm going to tell her when she comes home from school."</p><p>"Are you prepared for whatever reaction she could possibly have?"</p><p>"I don't even know. I mean, I never thought I'd react this way. Who knows how Debbie will react."</p><p>"Are you afraid she would react badly?"</p><p>"I don't know. She has only felt anger and hate towards him for the past 3 years. But I've hated him for 17, and here I am a sobbing mess." I fidgeted with my hand. "Would you be here? I'd like to think I'd know how to handle any reaction, but I'm just not sure."</p><p>Bridget nodded, "Of course." </p><p>We sat and talked some more. She was glad I was able to sleep last night, she constituted it to do with exhaustion and a sense of freedom. Maxine came back and joined us. Bridget's phone rang and she got up to answer it. Maxine asked how I was doing. </p><p>"Better. She's good."</p><p>Maxine smiled and Bridget came back to sit down. </p><p>"Is everything alright?" I asked. </p><p>"Yeah, just getting a new client. Thanks for the referral by the way." She smiled.</p><p>"Kaz, I'm glad she called. Take it easy on her yeah? She's had it tough and I know it's going to take a while for her to open up."</p><p>Bridget smiled again, "I'll keep that in mind."</p><p>The locks un the door started to open and I stood up. Debbie walked through the front door. "Hey everyone. Mom, what's going on?"</p><p>I stood up and motioned for her to sit beside me. Maxine got up and walked to the kitchen. "Sweetheart, this is Bridget Westfall. She's Franky's girlfriend. She's also my therapist."</p><p>Debbie nodded, "I've heard your name before, but Mom, I thought you stopped seeing her?"</p><p>"I did, but she came by to talk to me today and she is also here to talk to you if you'd like."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>I grabbed Debbie's hands, "Debbie, your father is dead."</p><p>She looked at me and at Bridget. "Good."</p><p>"Debbie."</p><p>"No mom, he deserves to be dead. I'm glad he is. It's over, all the shit he put us through. You don't need to worry about me mom, I'm glad he's gone."</p><p>I knew she hated him but I wasn't sure what to say or do. Bridget seemed to notice my uncertainty so she stepped in, "Debbie, it's okay to have any sadness or feelings of loss."</p><p>"I don't."</p><p>She was taking it better than I was. I must be really fucked up. "Well, then as long as you're okay."</p><p>"I am."</p><p>"Okay." I squeezed her hand and stood up. I went to my bedroom and closed the door. I fell to the floor with tears running down my face. Debbie was a teenager and dealing with this better than I was. I know Bridget gave an explanation for why I felt the way I did, but it didn't make me feel any better. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>"Did I say something wrong?" Debbie asked. </p><p>"Absolutely not. Your mom asked me to be here because neither of us were sure how you would react to the news. You seem to be okay with it. It's just that your mom is taking it a lot harder than expected."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Everyone reacts to grief differently. Yours is clear, your anger towards your father has pushed that grief aside. Your mother is just struggling a bit more."</p><p>"Should I have pretended to be sad?"</p><p>"No. You shouldn't fake your feelings. What you feel is what you feel. I do wonder though Debbie, are you really okay with your dads death? Or did you say you were happy he was gone because you thought it was something your mom wanted to hear?"</p><p>She looked down and bit the inside of her cheek, "I'm not sad he's dead. But, I'm not happy either. I don't know, I just thought mom would worry."</p><p>"So how do you really feel about your father's death?"</p><p>"Is it weird to not feel anything? I'm confused I guess."</p><p>"That's normal Debbie. Any response is normal. You don't need to lean towards one more than the other."</p><p>"Should I go talk to her?"</p><p>"If you're ready. But, don't lie Debbie. If you truly are okay with it, then your mom will understand. Just don't try to spare her or your feelings because you think she won't understand. She just wants you to be okay."</p><p>Debbie nodded and got up. I took a sip of my tea when Maxine came back in the room. "Bea's right, you're good."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was laying in bed with a towel over my eyes. I was tired of crying and my head hurt. I heard the door open, "Maxine, I'm fine. I'm just resting my eyes."</p><p>"Mum."</p><p>I got up and looked at Deb. "Hey sweetheart, I though it was Maxine. I'm sorry. Are you alright?"</p><p>"Are you?"</p><p>"I'll be fine. I'm just being silly."</p><p>Debbie came over to sit on the bed with me. "I said I was glad he was dead so you wouldn't worry. I'm not happy he's dead, but I'm not sad either. Bridget said that was normal."</p><p>I nodded. I held Debbie close to me, "I don't want you to pretend. I know you stopped respecting your dad after everything that happened, but he was still your dad. If you still love him, if you miss him, I won't judge you Deb."</p><p>Debbie nodded and hugged me, "I love you mom."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>My shift was finally over. I was going to head over to Bea's. Franky caught me on the way out, "You going to Red's?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"Come on, I'll give ya a lift. My girls over there."</p><p>We drove in silence and showed up to Maxine, Bridget, Debbie, and Bea sitting in the living room. They had ordered pizza and were eating. </p><p>"Oi, save some for me." Franky went over to kiss Bridget and grabbed a piece. </p><p>"I thought you didn't like saturated fats." Bea joked. </p><p>"My rules, I can break them."</p><p>Bea got up and went over to me. I hugged and kissed her. "You okay?"</p><p>She nodded. She took me to the backyard. We hung out on the porch. "I'm sorry for pushing you away last night. I just needed to be alone."</p><p>"I was just worried about you."</p><p>"I know. I am sorry."</p><p>I kissed her and looked her in her eyes, "Are you sure you're okay?"</p><p>She nodded, "Talking to Bridget helped a lot. And Deb seems to be doing okay."</p><p>"Good, gotta look after my girls."</p><p>Bea grinned and kissed me. "How'd it go working with that hangover."</p><p>I groaned, "Ugh don't remind me. And I didn't even have my hot boss to look at, what a shitty day."</p><p>Bea laughed. "I'm sorry baby."</p><p>"No worries. I'm glad you're feeling better. Let's head back inside, greasy food sounds amazing."</p><p>She grabbed my hand, "Would you mind spending the night?"</p><p>I kissed her, "I could never mind. Let's go babe."</p><p>We went back inside and sat with everyone else. After a while Maxine went home. Bea thanked her for coming and staying with her. Debbie got ready for bed. Franky and Bridget started to head out. Bea and I went to her room and got into bed. I used her red blanket to cover us both and then I spooned her. I kissed her neck while I held her close to me. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge and I went to her place and she poured herself a glass of wine. I went over to hug her. "I'm not going to ask because you have made it clear you won't tell me, but will she be okay?"</p><p>"Only time will tell. But she is getting better at talking through her feelings and accepting explanations for them. I know you don't understand, but her feelings are valid and reasonable."</p><p>I nodded, "Thank you for everything you've done for her."</p><p>"She's my patient Franky."</p><p>"Eh, something tells me you wouldn't do this for all your patients."</p><p>"Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. Maybe, you'll never know."</p><p>"Oh yeah." I grinned. </p><p>She smiled back at me. "Girls got to have her secrets."</p><p>I kissed her and carried her to the bedroom. "Well, I guess I'm going to have to get those secrets out of ya."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie and I were laying in bed. She was holding me and I was just allowing myself to enjoy being held by her. She made me feel safe and secure. There was a slight knock on the door and Debbie came in, "Mum."</p><p>Allie and I both raised our heads, "Yes baby."</p><p>"I wanted to ask you something, but I don't want to bother you guys."</p><p>"Come here, what is it?"</p><p>She looked down, "I wanted to know if I could sleep in here with you tonight."</p><p>Before I could answer Allie had gotten up. "Come on kiddo, get in bed with your mom. I'll sleep on the couch."</p><p>"Actually Allie, could you stay too?"</p><p>Allie looked at me and I nodded. Debbie laid next to me and Allie got back into the bed. I kissed Debbie's head and mouthed a thank you to Allie. I held Debbie while she fell asleep and I soon followed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wrote this chapter while watching this mess of an election. Be safe everybody, please. Also, like a wise man once said, "Fuck Donald Trump."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Traumatic Pasts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV</p><p>I opened my eyes and saw Debbie and Bea still fast asleep. I decided to get up and make them some breakfast. I went over to kiss Bea on the head and stepped out. Yesterday was a tough day for both of them. Bea hadn't said much about why Harry's death affected her so much, she was quiet for the most part before Debbie came to join us in bed. I just wanted her to be okay, I just wanted them both to be okay.</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I opened my eyes and saw Debbie sleeping next to me. I looked over and saw that Allie's side was empty. I turned to see the time, she and I both had to be up soon. I played with her hair and watched out how big she was. She was still my little girl, no matter how old she got. I kissed her forehead and let her sleep in. It was Saturday and she deserved to rest after everything. </p><p>I got out of bed and saw Allie dancing in her pjs listening to the radio while making breakfast. I tried to contain my laugh, she heard me and turned around, "Hey, why are you laughing? You're just jealous of my killer moves."</p><p>I nodded, "Definitely." I went over to her and kissed her. </p><p>"Are you doing better?"</p><p>I nodded. "Yeah. I just needed to really understand everything that was going on. Now that I have, I think I'll be okay."</p><p>"And Deb?"</p><p>"Still sleeping, but I think she'll be alright."</p><p>"Good, I wish I could stay here with the two of you today but my boss decided to make me work weekends."</p><p>I grinned, "What a bitch."</p><p>"The worst." She laughed. </p><p>"I was thinking of coming in but I didn't want to leave Deb alone."</p><p>"You don't work weekends babe."</p><p>"I know but yesterday was the second day this week I've missed work. I can only imagine how Franky has handled those expenditure reports."</p><p>"Well, seeing you at work always brightens my day, but don't feel like you need to."</p><p>"Morning." Debbie came out of my bedroom rubbing her eyes. </p><p>"Morning kiddo." Allie responded, "Sit down, I've made breakfast for champions."</p><p>"Great, I'm starving."</p><p>I laughed and went over to sit next to Deb at the table. We all ate breakfast together before Allie got up, "I have to head off to work, I'll see you two later." She kissed me on the mouth and kissed Deb on the head. She was about to walk out the door when she stopped in her tracks and looked down, "Ugh, I forgot. Franky drove me here last night, my car is still at the restaurant. I'll need to call a Lyft."</p><p>"I can drop you off." I said getting up, "I'll be right back Deb."</p><p>Debbie nodded and I grabbed my keys. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>My leg was shaking, I was nervous. Bridget set up an appointment to see me today because she was a bit busy the following week and wanted to start working with me as soon as possible. "I normally reserve Saturdays for paperwork but I wanted to start laying some ground work for us, for you to feel comfortable in this space."</p><p>I nodded, "I appreciate it. I am a bit weary about all of this. I think what you do is great, I just never saw myself as someone who needed psychological help."</p><p>"Most people don't think they do. And there is nothing wrong with seeking it or wanting it. In this case you went looking, why?"</p><p>I looked out the window of her office and continued to shake my leg, "I um...started to see this guy, Will. We've been taking things slow. I haven't had a ton of luck with relationships in the past. I'm happy to be celibate, I prefer it. But, Will he was so persistent and I kind of liked it."</p><p>"The slowness in your relationship, was it his suggestion or yours?"</p><p>"More mine. I'm not the sexual type. I get sex is important in relationships in all that, but I just can't."</p><p>"Does the idea of being sexually intimate scare you?"</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>I shrugged, "The thought of it just doesn't turn me on the way it would for other people. It freaks me out I guess."</p><p>"Have you been intimate with people before?"</p><p>I nodded again.</p><p>"In those few instances that you had, how did you feel?"</p><p>I felt chills come up my spine, "I didn't like it. I usually wished it was over as quickly as it had started. It hurts and I wouldn't feel like I was missing anything if I went the rest of my life without sex."</p><p>"Do you want to be intimate with Will?"</p><p>"I think so, I know it's something he wants. And I like him, really like him. I've never really felt this way about a guy before. I want to stop being afraid. I'm not doing this because of Will, I'm doing it for me. I can still live my life single and happy, being alone doesn't mean I'm lonely. I just don't want to keep living in this fear of something that shouldn't even be afraid of."</p><p>Bridget nodded. "That's great Kaz. I think that's a good mentality to have. Have you and Will discussed having sex?"</p><p>"He said he would never push me to have sex, that everything was at my pace."</p><p>"Do you want to have sex Kaz? Honestly."</p><p>"Honestly, I think I do. I'm just afraid to make that next step."</p><p>"I want to give you some homework for our next session Kaz."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>"I want you to spend more time learning about what it is you truly want. I want you to think about why you're afraid of sex. Something tells me you already have the answer, but I want you to feel comfortable enough to share it. To say it out loud and accept what that means."</p><p>I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Bridget reached over and put her hand on my leg. "Nothing leaves this room. This is a safe place. You don't have to pretend with me."</p><p>I nodded and thanked her for the session. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I had gotten back to the house a while ago after having dropped Allie off. Franky saw me and told me to forget about coming in, she didn't want to see me in the office until next week which ruined my chances on trying to get some work done. Deb was staying home today, we were planning on watching movies and eating loads of junk food which I was sure she'd be eating most of. </p><p>We picked a couple of movies and put them on. We snacked on different things here and there. At some point Debbie fell asleep on my lap while I ran my fingers through her hair. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, the best thing that came out of my marriage with Harry. She was the only reason I was still here. I don't think I would have fought so hard to survive Harry's constant beatings if it hadn't been because I had Debbie. She made me a better person, a stronger mother. </p><p>There was a knock at the front door and I carefully got up to go open it. "Hey, it's a bit early for you to be off of work." I kissed Allie while bringing her inside. </p><p>"Slow day, plus Franky said she wanted to make sure you were okay."</p><p>I kissed her again and she saw Debbie sleeping on the couch. "So you two had a party and didn't invite me? I'm hurt Bea."</p><p>"Last minute thing. Just wanted to spend the day in."</p><p>"Mind if I join?"</p><p>"Not at all." We sat down on the floor near Deb. Allie was holding me while having her hand on my thigh. She would kiss me cheek and neck from time to time. She had one of her arms draped around my shoulder and started to lightly put pressure on my breast. </p><p>"Allie..." It turned to look at her. </p><p>"Hmm." She hummed. I looked at where her arm was placed. "Oops."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her. I whispered in her ear, "Later baby."</p><p>She raised an eyebrow and kissed me a little harder. </p><p>We were interrupted by Debbie clearing her throat, "I said no touching."</p><p>Allie laughed and we turned to look at her. "Morning sleeping beauty."</p><p>"How long was I out for?" Debbie yawned. </p><p>"Not too long, you okay baby?" I asked.</p><p>Debbie nodded, she looked around, "I'm kinda hungry."</p><p>"Jesus Christ." I laughed. "You ate more than me and I'm not even thinking about food."</p><p>"Well, I could use something to eat. How about you and I go down to the store and look around. We could make something buy something." Allie suggested. </p><p>Debbie perked up, "Cool." She got up and went to go put her shoes on. </p><p>"Do you want anything in particular?"</p><p>I shook my head, "Not hungry. Would love some wine though."</p><p>"Anything for you my lady." Allie kissed me and stood up to take Debbie to the store. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Allie and I arrived at the supermarket and started grabbing different snacks. "I'm going to go get your mom some wine, you go look around for what you want."</p><p>"Hot dogs?"</p><p>"Sounds good to me, ooo and can you go looking around for popcorn."</p><p>"Yeah!" Debbie grinned. </p><p>I went to the wine aisle and looked around. I kept looking over my shoulder thinking of what happened a couple of days ago. I still got the creeps thinking about it. I walked around the store and found Debbie pushing a cart of different snacks. We went to go pay and took the bags to the car. While we were walking someone stopped us. I looked up and felt that uneasy feeling again. "Deb let's go."</p><p>"Allie, wait. I just want to talk." Marie pleaded.</p><p>I looked at Debbie, "Let's go."</p><p>"Allie please, I miss you so much. Why can't you talk to me?"</p><p>I didn't want to lose it in front of Debbie but it irritated me how Marie acted like she didn't know why. "Don't act stupid Marie, you know why." </p><p>"Allie, I don't know why you left me but it wasn't because I mistreated you, that was the opposite. Now, what we had was very special you have to remember that." She looked over to Debbie who I had put behind me. "Hello, what's your name, I'm Marie."</p><p>"Don't talk to her, don't look at her, don't even breathe near her do you understand me?" I asked getting closer to Marie. "I want you to leave me alone. You manipulated me and used me. I was a baby, you were the adult."</p><p>"Oh come on, I was your lover not your mother."</p><p>"Who does that to someone they love?"</p><p>"But I did love you, sweetheart, I loved you very much." She came to caress my face. </p><p>I moved my face aside and grabbed Debbie's hand. "Just leave me alone, before I tell Kaz."</p><p>Marie scoffed. </p><p>Debbie and I went to the car and I tried to contain my breath. I turned to look at her, "I'm sorry Deb, you shouldn't have seen any of that."</p><p>"Who was that woman?"</p><p>"My ex."</p><p>"I'm assuming that conversation meant it didn't end well."</p><p>I shook my head, "It was a nightmare."</p><p>"Why did you freak out when she asked me for my name?"</p><p>I sighed, "Because she's not a good person and she would have used it to hurt me or to try to get to you."</p><p>"How did she manipulate and use you?"</p><p>"Deb, my past isn't something I'm proud of. Marie is part of that past. I did a lot of things that really screwed me up."</p><p>"Like?"</p><p>"Maybe we should go home, I'd rather tell you there."</p><p>She slowly nodded and we drove in silence back to the house. We walked in and Bea noticed the change in dynamic almost immediately. "What happened?"</p><p>"Marie was at the store again. She saw me and she tried to talk to Debbie."</p><p>Bea clenched her jaw, "I'll fucking kill her."</p><p>"Can someone tell me what's going on?" Debbie asked. </p><p>"Debbie wants to know. I think it's time to tell her but I wanted to check with you first."</p><p>Bea nodded, "If you feel ready."</p><p>We all sat down and I looked at Debbie, "Okay well when I was 17 my dad kicked me out because he found out I was gay. I lived on the streets for a bit so I was basically homeless. I had no previous work experience, no friends, no family, I was alone. I used to hang out on this Main Street asking for change and Marie used to walk by that area. She was nice to me and used to bring me food sometimes. She offered me a place to live which made me feel like she was my guardian angel but I quickly realized not everything was what it seemed. She was a madam."</p><p>"Isn't that like a pimp?" Debbie asked.</p><p>I nodded, "She ran brothels, houses, anything that involved sex she was apart of. She was the first person who ever treated me like a human being. I got caught up in her game, she started making me work for her. Then she got me hooked on drugs." I took a deep breath and Bea started to rub my back. "I was a mess for a really long time, because of Marie. Kaz found me and saved me."</p><p>"You used to be a prostitute and a drug addict?" </p><p>I nodded. Debbie stayed quiet and looked at Bea. "You knew about this?"</p><p>Bea nodded, "She told me on our first date."</p><p>"And you were okay with it?"</p><p>"Yes, I am."</p><p>Debbie stood up, "I need some air." She went out to the backyard. </p><p>I sighed and felt Bea's hand on my back again, "Baby I'm sorry. She's not like this I don't know what's going on."</p><p>"Bea, it's fine. Not everyone is so accepting about it. I'm a junkie street whore. She's allowed to be weary."</p><p>"You are not a junkie street whore. You are Allie Novak, a beautiful, caring, loving, woman who has taught me how to live again. I'm going to go talk to her, please don't go anywhere. I'll be right back." Bea kissed me and went outside after Debbie. I had a feeling Debbie wasn't okay with what I said by the way her demeanor changed. Part of me was hurt but I couldn't be mad, not everyone was as accepting as Bea and Kaz. What I hated about all of this was that she would start to look at me differently, it always happened that way once someone found out about my past. Today was such a good day and now Marie has fucked me all over again. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I went out to the backyard and saw Debbie sitting near the fire pit. I sat down next to her, "Debbie-"</p><p>"You knew." She cut me off. "You knew what she was and you didn't say anything. She used to sell herself mom and she was addicted to drugs."</p><p>"Exactly, she was, as in past tense. She's not anymore. She is clean and she has worked hard to put that behind her. It takes a lot of courage to open up and admit something like that, she didn't need to. She could have kept that from both of us but she chose to disclose this huge part of her life."</p><p>"Because Marie caught her off guard. She most likely would have never said anything to me. And why are you so okay with this?"</p><p>"Because everyone has a past Debbie. It took a lot of strength for her to talk about hers. She didn't have it easy, she did what she had to under the circumstances she was succumbed to. Marie took advantage of Allie's situation and used it to benefit herself. Allie had no one to turn to no where to go."</p><p>"She could have said no."</p><p>I sighed and put my hand on Debbie's leg. "Sweetheart, life isn't that simple. Saying no sounds great in theory but that doesn't mean people listen. Marie made Allie believe that she cared about her that she was looking out for her, she trusted her. Allie loved Marie, and she thought that Marie loved her too. Sometimes, it's hard to see the bad when you're blinded by your feelings."</p><p>"Whatever." Debbie rolled her eyes. "It seemed like Marie really cared about Allie, so maybe she didn't even force her."</p><p>"Debbie! I know you don't understand it, but you don't need to. Allie lived it, and I will not have you looking down on her or blaming her for something she couldn't control."</p><p>"She could have left mom, she could have left Marie. She wouldn't have stayed as long as she did if some part of her didn't like it."</p><p>I know we were talking about Allie but parts of me felt like Debbie wasn't just talking about her situation. She could be talking about me too. Did she blame me for staying as long as I did? Did she judge me? Did she think it was my fault? Did she think I liked staying with her father? The thoughts were flooding my mind and I could feel my throat closing, like I couldn't breath. I stood up and walked back inside, past Allie and into the bathroom. I wiped water all over my face and tried to catch my breath. It was stupid, we weren't even talking about me but I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head. Allie was knocking on the door begging me to let her in. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea had been outside with Debbie for a while before she ran inside and locked herself in the bathroom. She looked like she was going to be sick. I saw Debbie come back in and looked at her, "What happened?"</p><p>"Nothing, we were just talking and she left."</p><p>I knocked on the door, "Bea, open the door. What's wrong?" I heard the faucet and knocked again, "Baby, let me in."</p><p>Debbie came forward and knocked, "Mom, mom I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything I said. Please open the door."</p><p>"I just need a minute." Bea called out. </p><p>I looked at Debbie, "What the hell happened?"</p><p>"We were talking about you and then she freaked out and came back inside."</p><p>"What was the last thing you two talked about?"</p><p>Debbie thought about it and said, "I was judging you for staying with Marie. I told her that it couldn't have been that bad if you stayed, you must have liked what you were doing."</p><p>I thought about it, that statement alone wouldn't have made Bea react like that, then it hit me. "Fuck." I knocked on the door again. "Bea open the door. Baby she didn't mean it like that it's not the same thing. Bea."</p><p>"What?" Debbie asked. </p><p>I sighed, "Debbie, I understand that you don't like what I used to be, but it wasn't easy to walk away. It wasn't easy for your mom to walk away. When she heard you say that she must have thought you thought the same thing about her."</p><p>Debbie finally understood what I meant and panic set on her face. "I wasn't talking about her, I would never say that about her. I didn't mean it to come off like that."</p><p>"I know, but she's probably always wondered if you felt that way and you saying it, even if it wasn't about her, must have mistakingly reassured her of those thoughts."</p><p>Debbie looked like she wanted to cry. "Deb, it wasn't your fault. Your mom and I's situations were two completely different scenarios. I know you didn't intend for her to think it was about her."</p><p>"I didn't Allie I swear."</p><p>I knocked again, "Bea please open the door."</p><p>"Debbie, I know you didn't mean it like that but I don't want you to see me like this." Bea answered. </p><p>I looked at Debbie, "Let me talk to her, I'll calm her down and then I'll bring her out. This isn't your fault, I promise. Just give us a minute okay?"</p><p>She nodded and walked towards the living room. </p><p>"Bea, it's just me, Debbie went to the living room. Open the door."</p><p>She carefully opened it and let me in. She closed it, I could see she had been crying and seemed to be struggling to catch her breath. She had her hand on top of her chest trying to regulate her breathing. "I'm sorry I just didn't want her to see me like this and I know she didn't mean it and-"</p><p>"Okay okay, sit down come on." We sat on the floor together and I put my hand on top of hers. "Breath Bea, breathe for me. Okay follow me." I took a deep breath and exhaled. I did it over and over again until she could breathe again. She started to cry and I held her. </p><p>She cried into my arms, "It's so stupid. She didn't even mention me, we were talking about you. I was upset at what she was saying but then she said that you must have liked doing what you did, that you could have just easily said no and walked away and it made me think that she must think that way about me. I mean, I could have left Harry sooner. She must have thought I was so fucking weak to stay as long as I did enduring beating after beating."</p><p>"Debbie doesn't think that. She didn't even think about it that way. She was talking about me, our environments were worlds apart. Part of what Debbie said is true, I did like parts of it. I liked the money and I loved smack. I could have left a thousand times, I was just so fucked up that I never did. Kaz had pulled me out of my own shit so many times and I kept going back. You didn't have that chance Bea. Meeting Kaz was a way out, you didn't have that. Harry was a monster, he controlled you and would have never let you leave. We weren't the same."</p><p>"It just felt so directed at me you know? Like it was this suppressed thought that she never shared, and now she had the opportunity to do it when talking about someone else. Doesn't make me any happier that she was talking about you."</p><p>"Baby please don't worry about it. I've been told worse by others including myself."</p><p>She put a strand of hair behind my ear, "But it's not true Allie. None of it is."</p><p>"Neither is Debbie thinking badly about you."</p><p>"I'm embarrassed and annoyed at myself for taking it so personally."</p><p>I kissed her and rubbed her back. "You ready to face the music."</p><p>Bea groaned and we stood up. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Talking to Allie made me feel a bit better. And even though I know Debbie wasn't talking about me, it didn't ease that worry I had. We walked out of the bathroom and walked towards the living room. Debbie stood up and ran over to me. "Mom I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it."</p><p>I hugged her tightly, "It's alright sweetheart, I overreacted."</p><p>"I'm really sorry mom."</p><p>"It's okay." I kissed the top of her head and looked her in her eyes. "It's okay, I promise." She hugged me tightly again. </p><p>I looked over at Allie who was standing near the kitchen. Debbie and I separated, even though she and I had resolved out minor issue, I don't think hers and Allie's was going to be as quick of a fix. </p><p>"Well, I'm going to head out okay?" Allie grabbed her things. </p><p>"No, Allie stay please." I begged. </p><p>"Look, you two should be alone. And part of my deal with Franky about going home early meant coming in early tomorrow so I need my beauty sleep." Allie winked at me. "Goodnight."</p><p>Allie walked towards the door and I followed her. When we were both outside I pulled her into a hug. I whispered in her ear, "I know that's not why you're leaving. What Debbie said hurt you."</p><p>Allie shrugged, "I'm used to it."</p><p>"Doesn't make it hurt any less." I kissed her deeply. "Don't go, stay."</p><p>"Debbie doesn't want me here, and I can't pit you two against each other."</p><p>"You aren't doing that, Debbie just needs time."</p><p>"And, I'll keep my distance. I can't have you feeling like you need to pick one of us. You're a mother first Bea. I don't want to get in between your guys' relationship."</p><p>I felt myself start to cry, "What...what are you saying?"</p><p>"Maybe you and I need some time apart, a break."</p><p>"Allie, no."</p><p>Allie started to cry and she looked away, "I'm sorry Bea. I'm so sorry." She kissed me on the lips and left. </p><p>The tears fell and I covered my face. I wiped the tears away and went inside. Debbie stood up and saw me, I didn't feel like talking about it. I went over to her and kissed her head, "I'm going to bed. Goodnight Deb." I went to my room and cried myself to sleep. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I drove and drove until I got to Kaz's. I buzzed upstairs, she answered the buzzer, "Hello?"</p><p>"Kaz, can I come up?" I asked through tears. </p><p>She immediately buzzed me through and had the door open by the time I got there. She saw my face and looked at me questioningly. I went to hug her and she held me. I cried in her arms.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Hardships</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I woke up feeling awful. This seemed to be a recurring theme these last couple of days. It frustrated me that Debbie was so quick to judge Allie, I thought I had raised her better than that. I know why Allie left, but it didn't make it hurt any less. I didn't want to get up, I wanted to stay in bed and cry. I felt this pain in my chest, not like physical pain, but this pain that made me feel useless and alone. I heard a knock on my door and looked at the time, 9:30am. "Yeah."</p><p>Debbie came in, "Mom, are you okay?"</p><p>I covered my face and nodded, "I'm just not feeling well."</p><p>"Do you want me to tell Kaz that I can't come in?"</p><p>I had totally forgotten about Debbie volunteering at the shelter. If I'm being honest, the last thing I wanted was Debbie to be home continually asking me how I was when she already knew the answer. But I also didn't want to go to the shelter because it meant I'd have to get up to do that. "No, take the car."</p><p>"You want me to drive?"</p><p>"You have your license, just be careful."</p><p>Debbie stayed in one place and looked at me, "Are you mad at me?"</p><p>"No, I'm just tired Deb. Be careful and listen to Kaz okay?"</p><p>She came over to kiss me and slowly left the room. I heard the front door open and close. I turned to my side and started to cry again. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I spent most of last night crying into Kaz's arms. I felt bad because Will was there but he told me not to worry about it. He offered to sleep on the couch while I slept with Kaz in her bed. I felt like crap in the morning and didn't want to go to work. The only thing I could hope for was that Franky had decided not to come on. She worked some Sundays and others she took off but she never gave a heads up. </p><p>Kaz told me to call off but I couldn't do that, I would just spend all day in bed crying and eating ice cream. Plus, work would be a good distraction. I went to work and Franky wasn't there, thank fuck for small miracles. I started to get the tables ready and waited for them to get filled with customers. </p><p>I was taking an order from a table when Franky and Bridget walked in. Fan-fucking-tastic. I chose to focus on the customer and did my best not to draw attention to myself, it didn't look like Franky came to work, she probably needed to pick something up. The sooner she was gone the better. One of the waitresses came over to my table and told me the Franky wanted to see me in her office and that she'd cover for me. I groaned and thought of making a run for it. I took a deep breath and went up to her office. The door was open and I waited at the doorway waiting for them to notice I was there. </p><p>"Come in Novak." Franky said. </p><p>I stepped through and kept my hands behind me, looking down, hoping she'd just let me go back to work. "Yes."</p><p>"The hell is the matter with you? You look like shit."</p><p>"Always the charmer Franky."</p><p>"Are you going to tell me what's the matter with you?"</p><p>"No, can I go back to work?"</p><p>"If you don't tell me, I'll ask Bea."</p><p>"Knock yourself out Franky." </p><p>I started to leave her office before she got up and ran went towards me. She grabbed my arm and looked at me. "Novak, what happened?"</p><p>I started to cry, Bridget handed me a tissue. "Bea and I broke up. I told Debbie about my past about what I used to do and she didn't like it. She made it perfectly clear that she wasn't thrilled about it and then she said something that affected Bea. But seeing how what I did was causing this rift between the two of them, I couldn't let that keep happening. So, I broke it off with Bea."</p><p>"Why? What the fuck did Debbie say?"</p><p>"She told Bea that I must have liked being a prostitute and doing drugs because I stayed doing it. That part of me must have liked it or else I would have left sooner. Bea...she-" I wanted to cry again.</p><p>"She thought Debbie was talking about her." Bridget finished my thought. </p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"Fuck. But that had nothing to do with you and hers' relationship. Why break it off?" Franky asked. </p><p>"Because Franky, you didn't see Debbie's face. She looked at me the way most people do when they find out. Like I'm dirty, nasty, a piece of trash. Her perspective of me changed. She's never going to accept me being around, or like that I am. I will not come between Bea and Debbie." </p><p>Franky hugged me while I continued to cry. Franky looked at me, "Hey, it'll be okay. Maybe Debbie just needs to time."</p><p>"I don't think so Franky." </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I thought Debbie wasn't going to show up but she was here early. She didn't seem to have anything wrong with her which upset me because of how hurt Allie was last night. Will made sure to remind me to keep my distance and not blow up on her, she was Bea's daughter. But Allie was like my daughter. I told Debbie to help one of the girls pass out meals. </p><p>Will came to my office and sat on my desk, "You playing nice?"</p><p>"I know she's a kid and she doesn't get it, but what she said wasn't right."</p><p>"I know that. But you can't ignore her forever."</p><p>"I'm not ignoring her."</p><p>"You stuck her on somebody else. I've seen you with different volunteers, you're always around usually showing them the ropes."</p><p>"I'm just really fucking angry Will."</p><p>"I know you are babe." He kissed me. "Just, try."</p><p>I groaned and went looking for Debbie. She was serving food and I saw she was observing her surroundings and everyone around her. She must be going through one hell of a culture shock. I saw her serving someone I hadn't seen in a while, "Catherine." </p><p>She turned around and smiled, "Hey Kaz."</p><p>"How've you been?"</p><p>"Still here so I can't be doing too bad."</p><p>"Any chance you're here for a permanent stay?"</p><p>"Nah, you should be focusing your attention on girls worth saving."</p><p>"Everybody is worth saving Cathy."</p><p>She shrugged her shoulders, "Not me. Thank you Kaz, see you around."</p><p>I sighed as I watched her walk away. I looked at Debbie, "Let me show you around."</p><p>I took her on a tour of the rooms, the rules, etc. We went into my office and sat down, "So any questions concerns?"</p><p>Debbie shook her head, "Not about the shelter."</p><p>"What about?"</p><p>"That lady you were talking to earlier, she said she wasn't worth saving. Why did she say that?"</p><p>I sighed, "A lot of women lose hope after a while. It's not that uncommon. They've lived on the streets for so long they start to lose pieces of themselves. No matter how hard they try, they always see themselves as failures as unworthy. Catherine is a great girl, but she's been treated like shit for so long, that she doesn't believe when anyone tries to genuinely help her."</p><p>"You haven't asked."</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"Allie, what happened last night."</p><p>I clenched my jaw, "Debbie, I'm not happy about last night. And to save us both from saying things we will both regret, I think it's best if we don't talk about it."</p><p>"I have to protect my mom."</p><p>"And why does it have to be from Allie?"</p><p>"Because, she was a prostitute, she did drugs Kaz."</p><p>"Yes, I know that. I found her, I helped her. Debbie, you will never understand what that is like. I have helped girl after girl and I still will never understand it because I'm not living it. Debbie, Allie had no choice."</p><p>"Don't tell me you're going to talk about what a horrible person Marie is. When I met her she didn't seem so bad."</p><p>I snapped my head up and looked at Debbie, "Marie Winter is the definition of evil. She cares for no one and uses her ridiculous charm to reel people in, people like you. Allie was naive and young, just like you are. You're falling for Marie's kindness the way Allie did. Marie makes people believe that she holds their best interests at heart. Someone like Allie who's family turned their backs on her, having someone loving like that was new. But besides that, because something tells me you and I aren't going to see eye to eye with that, may I ask you a question?"</p><p>Debbie nodded </p><p>"Has Allie ever mistreated your mom?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Has she ever done anything to deserve anything but your respect?"</p><p>"No but-"</p><p>"So I'm struggling to understand how you can go from liking Allie one day to hating her the next. You knew her, you liked her, then a shift happened. But then again, her own family did that to her so I guess she shouldn't have expected much from anybody else. Thats the thing Debbie, women like Catherine, Allie, they struggle to find people to trust so they shut themselves off from everybody else. They don't think they deserve love, so they self deprecate and think they're not worth saving. Allie found somebody she really cared about, she found your mom, I don't think I've ever seen her so happy."</p><p>"Can I go?"</p><p>I sighed and nodded, Debbie walked out of my office and I closed my eyes. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge and I drove to Red's house after Allie had calmed down a bit, fucking Debbie. I know she was probably just reacting to what she had been told but she needed to be more aware of how hurtful those reactions could be. I know Allie was upset, not just about ending things with Red, but also about how Debbie treated her. Allie reminded me of myself a bit, she tried to pretend that what others said didn't bother her, sticks and stones and all of that. </p><p>I knocked on Red's door and got no answer. I looked at Gidge and she knocked, "Bea, it's Bridget and Franky."</p><p>We waited a bit before she answered the door. It looked like she had just come out of the shower and like she had been crying. I came inside and hugged her. She cried for a bit before we went to sit down in the living room. Gidge made some tea and put the cup in front of her. </p><p>"I just can't really wrap my head around it all. I mean we were fine the night before, even the morning of. Then Marie popped up again and Allie thought telling Debbie would be for the best. I just never thought she would react that way. When Allie first told me about her story, I thought she was so strong. Debbie didn't see it the same way."</p><p>"She's a kid Red, you know how kids are." I said trying to make light of this shitty situation. </p><p>"You didn't see her Franky, you didn't see either of them. Debbie really hurt Allie. Debbie was almost disgusted with Allie and Allie was either trying to be kind or compartmentalizing her feelings. I know Allie, that look in her eyes, she was in pain."</p><p>The door opened and Debbie came through. "Hey everybody." She came over to kiss her mom and said hi to me and Gidge.</p><p>"Gidge, do me a favor and take Red to the backyard, mini Bea and I need to have a talk."</p><p>"Franky..." Red interjected.</p><p>Gidge kissed my cheek, "Patience baby."</p><p>Gidge took Bea outside while I walked towards Debbie, "Got anything to say for yourself?"</p><p>She shrugged her shoulders, "Should I?"</p><p>"Don't get smart with me. What the hell happened last night?"</p><p>"If you already know that answer why are you asking?"</p><p>I tried to control the anger raging inside of me. Debbie and I have always had a good relationship, sure we bickered from time to time but we always made up afterwards. I knew she had a rough childhood and I related to bits and pieces. I tried to always be the fun aunt who was always on her side and to give her anything she wanted but this was pissing me off. She didn't even seem to care what her mom was going through. "Oi, don't give me that. I know you're upset but you need to tone that attitude down."</p><p>Debbie mumbled an apology.</p><p>"I hope you give your mom and Allie a better apology than that."</p><p>"Why should I apologize?"</p><p>"Well for starters, your mom is going through one hell of break up."</p><p>"That's not my fault."</p><p>"You're saying that your attitude towards Allie last night had nothing to do with her breaking things off with your mom?"</p><p>"Maybe its for the best. She can find someone else, someone better."</p><p>I groaned and closed my eyes, "Deb, was your mom dating before Allie?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Did she ever show interest in anyone other than Allie?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"So what makes you think she would even consider wanting to be with somebody else?"</p><p>"Because maybe now she'll see that Allie isn't the one for her."</p><p>"And you came up with this assumption just like that? Because from what I had seen before, you used to like Allie. You were happy for your mom and thrilled that she was finally moving on. The only person that seems to have an issue with this relationship now is you."</p><p>"I don't need this Franky. I'm just trying to look out for my mom. I mean Allie used to be on drugs, what if she decides to go back one day? What if those drugs change her attitude and she lashes out at mom?"</p><p>"What if Allie is sober and clean and never touches drugs again?" I sighed. </p><p>Gidge walked back into the room, "Hey Deb, your mom is just taking a bit of a breather."</p><p>Debbie nodded. I stood up and walked over to Gidge, "I'm getting nowhere with her. Can you try?" </p><p>She nodded and sat down to talk with Deb. I walked outside and sat next to her. "How's it going Red?"</p><p>"You and Bridget tag teaming it?"</p><p>I grinned, "We're a pretty great team."</p><p>"I'm tired Franky, I'm so tired."</p><p>"I know you are Red."</p><p>"I finally found someone, someone that I cared about and that cared about me. And now..." she turned her eyes away from me trying to control her tears, "I let my guard down and now I'm alone again. But this time, it hurts more."</p><p>"You want my diagnosis Red?"</p><p>"Yeah." She nodded.</p><p>"You had your heartbroken, you got your heartbroken real good for the first time. And it fucking sucks right?"</p><p>Bea nodded again with sadness in her eyes. "Yeah."</p><p>"But you're strong. And you'll get through it. You know how I know?"</p><p>"How?'</p><p>"Because you're Queen Bea. There's nothing you can't get through."</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>"Debbie, this animosity you feel towards Allie, it is solely based on her past?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"Well, you did used to like and respect Allie right?"</p><p>"I guess."</p><p>"Why did you like Allie?"</p><p>"Because mom liked her."</p><p>"Has your mother stopped liking Allie?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"So you no longer liking Allie has to do with who she used to be, not who she is now?"</p><p>Debbie groaned, "Why does any of this matter?"</p><p>"Your mother mentioned to me that you went to the shelter today. How was that?"</p><p>"Fine. Kaz showed me around."</p><p>"How'd you feel in that environment?"</p><p>Debbie seemed to relax a bit, "It was different. I had never experienced anything like that before. There were so many women, and some kids. They seemed to like it there. Kaz looked like she was making a difference."</p><p>"Did you meet any women who lived there?"</p><p>"Some. It was really empowering to see, how these women from abused families could overcome it. Reminded me of mom."</p><p>I nodded, "Was the shelter for only abused women?"</p><p>"No, there were some recovering addicts too. I met one that knew Kaz. She seemed nice but sad."</p><p>"What do you mean by sad?"</p><p>"Kaz was offering her help and she said she wasn't worth saving."</p><p>"Do you think that's not a good mentality to have?"</p><p>"I think there's nothing wrong with getting help."</p><p>"You talked about the empowerment you felt watching these women go get help. Your mom got help and you were proud of her for it. So why doesn't Allie get that same respect?"</p><p>"It's not the same."</p><p>"Why? She was once one of those women. She got the help she needed, and is here now. With a great job, great friends, great girlfriend. Why does she get different treatment?"</p><p>I saw the wheels turning in Debbie's head, looking for an excuse. "Because my mom shouldn't have to deal with this. I mean if Allie goes back to being an addict or something."</p><p>"From what I know, she hasn't relapsed in years. She's been clean, gone to meetings, gotten help from Kaz, another person you seem to admire very much. I am curious as to why the difference in attitude. You seem to be using your mother as an excuse to be angry at Allie, because your mother isn't angry at her. Debbie, can I ask you something, honest response?"</p><p>She shrugged.</p><p>"Did you possibly overreact last night?" I saw her body language change. I got it. "Well, did you?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"No one is saying your reactions weren't valid, but I am interested as to why if you were so angry at Allie last night you still spoke to her in a mellow tone when your mother had her little breakdown. Allie told us about it."</p><p>"Because she was trying to help mom."</p><p>"Was that the only reason?"</p><p>"I don't know what you want from me."</p><p>"Debbie, I think you jumped the gun with your response towards Allie. You were angry at first and then I think it went away. I think you were worried about your mom and when Allie helped her get through her panic attack you let that anger subside. Am I wrong in thinking that by the time Allie had made the decision to leave, you had already gotten over it?"</p><p>She turned to look away from me and looked out the sliding doors to where her mom and Franky was. </p><p>I decided to continue, "And then this morning you saw how deeply affected your mom was and you felt bad, but you still stayed quiet. Going to the shelter you've come across women you admired for being able to move on in scenarios similar to the ones your mom and Allie went through. Yet, you're still putting up this front as if you're angry at Allie, when in reality I think you're angry at yourself. I think you used cognitive dissonance to make yourself feel better about what happened. You overreacted and before you knew it, it was all over. So instead of trying to fix it, you talked yourself into defending your actions and telling yourself you did the right thing. Your actions and feelings didn't match, so you tried to justify them by putting your mom in the middle and continually blaming Allie."</p><p>"I froze okay. I just froze. When Allie told me what I said affected mom, I didn't think of anything else. Allie and her past were the last things I cared about after. When mom came out of the bathroom and I saw how much I hurt her I just wanted to make her feel better. I didn't realize that when Allie left she also had broken up with mom. I wasn't 100% sure about it until this morning. And I thought it was too late, I didn't know it was completely over. They love each other, even if they haven't said it yet, I know they do. Love conquers all right?"</p><p>"Debbie, love can bring people together in very powerful ways, but it could also tear people apart. Allie broke things off with your mom because she didn't want to come in between the two of you. She would rather lose your mom than separate you two over her past. And I don't think I have to tell you that the reason she left last night wasn't to leave you two alone."</p><p>"I didn't mean to hurt her."</p><p>"So what are you going to do about it?"</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>"Franky I don't want more time off. I will go insane without another day at work and if I'm being honest, your paper work skills are shit."</p><p>"Oi, I'm not that bad."</p><p>"Franky, you filed the list of inventories under the letter L in the filing cabinets because it was a list and list starts with the letter L."</p><p>"So."</p><p>"Oh God." I laughed. </p><p>The sliding door opened and Bridget and Debbie came out. Franky stood up and went to go stand with Bridget. Debbie came over to me and hugged me. "I'm sorry mom. I'm really sorry."</p><p>"I am too."</p><p>"I'll apologize to Allie, I'll try to make it right, I promise."</p><p>I moved her hair to the side, "I don't think that's going to change anything sweetheart. I've tried calling her about a million times today and no answer."</p><p>"Maybe she needs some time."</p><p>"Sure, maybe. Or maybe, it just wasn't meant to be."</p><p>Debbie hugged me again and I closed my eyes. I hadn't stopped texting and calling and received no response back. It deflated my spirits every time that phone call went to voicemail and every hour that passed without a single text back. I was doing my best to not let my insecurities take hold but it was hard not to let them. Harry's voice in my head that no one else would ever want me, that I wasn't worth love. I pushed them aside and stayed holding Debbie. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>After a bit we left Red and Deb and went back home. I put some water to boil for pasta and went to go sit with Gidge on the couch. "What did you tell Debbie, I mean you really got through to her."</p><p>"I'm just that good." She smiled. </p><p>I kissed her. "Yeah you are."</p><p>"What?" </p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"You're staring Franky."</p><p>"So, you got a good looking face."</p><p>"Thanks." She laughed. </p><p>"Thank you for everything you've done. I know you say it's part of your job but you've gone above and beyond and I'll never be able to thank you for that. For everything you've done for my family, for me, thank you Bridget."</p><p>She gave me a quizzical look. "That's a first."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"You never call me Bridget."</p><p>I shrugged, "I just didn't want you to think I didn't mean what I was saying by using nicknames to play it off. And I'm not just trying to say thank you." I grabbed her hands. "I love you Bridget."</p><p>She beamed and grabbed me by my collar and kissed me. "I love you too Franky Doyle."</p><p>I leaned in to kiss her again and put my hand on her hip. I pushed her down on the couch and kissed her harder. I put my hand on her cheek and looked her into her eyes, "I really love you Bridget."</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Is There Somewhere</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I got to work earlier than usual, I wanted to get a head start on all the paper work left for me and I wasn't wrong when I walked into my office. Sometimes, spending all day doing office work really sucked. There were times where I really missed working in the salon, I got to be hands on and work with people, not just be stuck behind closed door with these four walls to keep me company. I had the rare moments where I helped out on the floor but I still spent most of my time up here. </p><p>Debbie and I talked a lot yesterday and she repeatedly apologized for what happened. She wanted to apologize to Allie, and I wanted that too, I just wasn't sure if an apology would fix everything. I tried messaging her last night and again this morning and no response. She was completely ignoring me which annoyed me. I sat at my desk and started to look through everything. Franky popped her head in, "See, I didn't do too bad."</p><p>"You could have at least signed some of these forms of me."</p><p>"What's the fun in that?"</p><p>I smiled, "What are you doing here so early?"</p><p>"Jeff called off, kid's sick. So I'm on morning prep. How are you doing?"</p><p>"Alright I guess, still feel pretty shitty but..." I shrugged my shoulders. </p><p>"Everything will work out Red, I promise."</p><p>"Sure. Can you do me a favor and close my door on your way out. And please let me know when the new shipment comes in, they screwed up last time."</p><p>"Righto, I'll have Liz give you a call." She left, closing the door behind her. </p><p>Franky POV</p><p>I wish Red would have taken more time off but of course, as stubborn as she was, she still came in. Gidge said it would be good for her to work but Allie was also working today and I wasn't sure how either would react seeing each other again. I was going to do my best to keep them away from each other, I didn't need this turning into restaurant gossip. </p><p>Some time went by and the waitresses and servers started coming in. I saw Allie clock in and saw she didn't try to make an effort to go upstairs. She either didn't know Red was here or just didn't want to see her. "You alright?" I asked her.</p><p>She nodded and went to go get her table assignments. She was lying, but I didn't blame her. I don't know how I'd be if Gidge and I split up, especially if we still worked at the same place together. As time went on Liz called me over and I groaned when I sat who it was, "Rebecca, I'm presuming you aren't here for just the food aye?"</p><p>"Sorry Franky, this is purely business."</p><p>"Why can't you ever give me a bit of a heads up for this shit? I got a business to run."</p><p>"You know the rules Franky, health inspection visits are random and have to be done every 6 months. I haven't been here in almost 9."</p><p>"Because there is nothing to fucking find."</p><p>"Franky..."</p><p>"Fuck fine, knock yourself out." I motioned towards the kitchen. </p><p>She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me, "Is uh Bea here today?"</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "Give it a rest Rebecca. She's not interested."</p><p>She gave a little smile and kept walking. Rebecca has hit on Bea every single time she does one of these health inspections. Bea was oblivious at first and then had to make it clear she wasn't interested because she wasn't gay. If Rebecca found out Bea was, she'd never leave the poor girl alone. Red was going to spend the day upstairs so there was no chance they could run into each other. Any paperwork Rebecca needed I'd go get. Red felt more comfortable being left out of all of this anyway, Rebecca wasn't exactly sweet and light when flirting. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I went straight to work and saw Franky talking to some woman. Boomer told me it was the health inspector. I nodded and continued serving my tables. Health inspector should be no issue, I hadn't worked in many kitchens but Franky kept it really clean and never got any complaints. One of the guys from the back came to tell Liz something and she grabbed the phone at the hostess station to make a call. I was taking a payment when I saw Bea come downstairs. I didn't know she was back. She looked beautiful, she always looked beautiful, she still took my breath away. I tried to avoid my gaze and to focus on what I was doing but it was pretty damn hard. She looked like she was going towards the back when Franky practically ran out of the kitchen. I could hear their conversation from where I was standing. </p><p>"Go back upstairs."</p><p>"I can't, the shipments here and I have a bone to pick with the driver."</p><p>"Red, go back upstairs."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Rebecca's here."</p><p>I heard Bea groan and looked up to see her posture change, "Just get her out of her Franky, I don't need this shit right now."</p><p>"I will just piss off."</p><p>Bea started to turn around when she and I made eye contact. She stared at me and I stared back. I wanted to grab her by her face and kiss her, I wanted to feel her near me again, I missed her so much. Being without her was a pain I had never experienced before. I felt like shit for ignoring her calls and messages but it was for the best. I couldn't come in between her and Debbie. </p><p>I think she was deciding on whether to say something or not when someone pulled her out of her trance.</p><p>"Bea." That woman called. </p><p>Bea closed her eyes and put on a fake smile, "Rebecca, it's nice to see you again."</p><p>So this was Rebecca. But what issue did Bea have with her? She seemed okay. </p><p>"Likewise." She came closer to Bea and hugged her. She kissed her on the cheek and I could feel Bea's discomfort. </p><p>"Well, I should get going." Bea tried to leave but that chick grabbed her by her wrist.</p><p>"Why so fast? I was planning on heading out for lunch after this and would be delighted if you'd come with."</p><p>"Um, I'm busy. Lots of work to do."</p><p>"Girls gotta eat Bea."</p><p>Bea forced a smile again and looked at Franky. </p><p>"Uh, Bea don't you have the delivery to take a look at? I think it's being brought in now. Wouldn't want to miss it." Franky interrupted. </p><p>"That's right, I should go. Goodbye Rebecca." Bea tried to move past them. </p><p>"Wait Bea, how about I get your number? We could set up a meet, drinks, dinner." Rebecca smiled. </p><p>I didn't like this at all, this Rebecca girl needed to go. </p><p>"I'm uh not sure that's a good idea. Thank you anyway."</p><p>"Bea, I don't take no for an answer."</p><p>I saw Bea turn around and practically screaming internally for help. </p><p>"She's not interested." I spoke up.</p><p>All three of them looked towards me.</p><p>"And you are?" Rebecca asked. </p><p>"Allie...Novak."</p><p>"Well, Allie Novak, I think you should mind your own business. Plus, you've been standing there for a while, I'm sure your tables need you."</p><p>Bea took that moment to leave which earned me a smile and a wink from Franky, "Come on Rebecca. You wanted to see the chemical storage."</p><p>I let go of the breath I had been holding. It bugged the shit out of me that Rebecca persisted with Bea after seeing how uncomfortable she obviously was. Why hadn't Franky made a complaint about Rebecca before, there had to be some kind of rule out there, health inspectors couldn't be doing that. </p><p>I apologized to my table for the long wait and finished the rest. When I saw Franky walking back to the kitchen, alone, I took a moment to talk to her. I asked Doreen to cover me. </p><p>"Hey Franky."</p><p>Franky turned around, "Hey Novak, good job, she's a tough one for sure."</p><p>"How come you've never complained or something, she's obviously making Bea uncomfortable."</p><p>"Because you know how Red is, she doesn't like problems. And during Rebecca's visits, she's generally able to hide out or disappear for long enough. I think Rebecca is just not used to people turning her down so she just goes at it a little harder than some."</p><p>"It's not right, and I didn't like it."</p><p>"Don't worry about it, it's not your problem. Plus Rebecca is gone so the problem is gone with her." Franky started to focus on a dish and I pulled her aside. </p><p>"What does that mean? It's not my problem."</p><p>"That it is not your problem anymore. You and Red are over so why are you busting people's balls."</p><p>I know what Franky was doing, she was trying to get a rise out of me and I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. She wanted me to admit that I missed Bea, well I did miss Bea, more than I've ever missed anything or anyone. It was killing me to be without her. Admitting it wasn't going to change the issues that were there, Debbie doesn't like me and I'm not going to compete for her mother's affection. </p><p>Franky looked over my shoulder and spoke, "Did they get it right this time?"</p><p>"Yes, guess they didn't want to hear me bitch about it on the phone again." Bea's voice answered, I still got chills every time she spoke. I turned around. She came towards us, "Is she gone?"</p><p>Franky nodded. </p><p>"Good, thank you Allie."</p><p>"No worries." There was so much more I wanted to say but I couldn't get the words out. </p><p>"Well, now that you two are done, uh Red, Rebecca wanted me to give you this." Franky pulled out a piece of paper. </p><p>Bea reached for it and rolled her eyes, "Piss off Franky." Bea left the kitchen and went back upstairs. </p><p>"What was it?" I asked.</p><p>"Rebecca's number." Franky replied while finishing a plate and sending it off. </p><p>"Why'd you give it to her?"</p><p>"Again, failing to see why this is any of your business Princess."</p><p>I walked out of the kitchen in anger. I know she was right, I had no reason to be upset, I ended things with Bea. But seeing her grab the number and not even try to give it back or throw it out really pissed me off. She's mine. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I walked up to my office and threw the number away. I was never interested in Rebecca, and even if I was gay or bi now, I still wasn't interested. There was only one woman in this whole world that I was interested in and I had lost her. Seeing Allie made my heart skip a beat, I felt like I couldn't breathe. She made me feel like a teenager and I wanted more than anything for these last couple of days to have been a bad dream. I missed her so much. When she spoke up after Rebecca's relentless flirting, it showed me that she still cared about me, the way I cared about her.</p><p>After some time passed I went to go get a glass of water near my desk and heard someone walk in. "Franky, explain to me how you get work done when you are always up here bugging me." I turned around and saw Allie standing there. "Hi." I breathed out.</p><p>"Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay."</p><p>I nodded, "I am, yeah."</p><p>"She just seemed a little pushy."</p><p>"She generally is, today wasn't even that bad, she was tame in comparison to other visits."</p><p>Allie made a face, "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Nothing, just sometimes she's more touchy and much more pushy about wanting to take me out."</p><p>"You should complain Bea."</p><p>"There's no point. She only comes around once maybe twice a year. I'm usually up here hiding anyway, so it eliminates the chance of me running into her."</p><p>"You shouldn't have to deal with that."</p><p>"It's fine Allie, I'm fine."</p><p>Allie stood there, looking down at her feet and fiddling with her hands. I know she was nervous and I felt like she wanted to say something but nothing was coming out. She started to walk away, I couldn't just let her go. </p><p>"I miss you." I said it.</p><p>She stopped walking and turned around. </p><p>I kept talking, "I really miss you Allie."</p><p>She stayed quiet but got closer to me. </p><p>I walked towards her and put my hands on her face, "I really really miss you."</p><p>She put her hands on my hips and brought me closer to her, "I really miss you too Bea."</p><p>I leaned forward and pressed my lips onto hers, I waited for a moment before she kissed me back with full force. She swiped her tongue on my lower lip begging for entrance. I opened my mouth and moaned feeling her tongue. She pushed me towards my desk and lifted me up. She pushed the paperwork off my desk but I had no time to protest because her mouth was on my neck sucking hard. I let my head fall back and wrapped my legs around her waist. She put her hands on the sides of my waist and kissed me again. I was so wet, I could feel it soaking my underwear. I wanted her badly, I was trying to remind myself of the surroundings but at this point I didn't care. "Allie, shut the door."</p><p>She groaned having to separate but quickly shut the door and locked it. She came back to kiss me and ripped my shirt open. "Allie...I liked that shirt."</p><p>She sucked on the top of my breasts, "I'll buy you a new one baby." She continued to kiss before reaching behind me and unclipping my bra. She pulled it off of me and moved her mouth to my breasts. I moaned and pulled her hair. "Allie...please." She hummed and sucked harder on my breast. "Allie, I need you to touch me please."</p><p>She came up to kiss me again and smiled. She unzipped my pants and moved her hand past the layers. "Fuck Bea." She played with my clit while sucking on my neck, "You're so wet."</p><p>I kissed her, "Allie, fuck me please."</p><p>She moaned and inserted two fingers while picking up the pace. When Allie and I had sex it was generally sweet and gentle, but I wanted it rougher. "Harder." I moaned. She put full force into her pumps and I could feel myself getting closer. I unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it aside to expose skin. I bit down on her shoulder trying to contain my scream as I came. She pulled her finger out and licked them clean. She kissed me and whispered in my ear, "You have no idea how much I've missed being inside of you, feeling you, touching you, fucking you."</p><p>I slowly stood up and kissed her, she palmed my breasts. I quickly turned us around so she was near the desk, but then I pushed her to face the desk while her backside was facing me. I used my hands to wander her body and pulled forcefully on her hair. I kissed her and moved my hand down her pants. I didn't give her any warning and began fingering her. She threw her head back onto my shoulder and used her hand to hold on to my head while kissing me. I bit her neck while pumping in and out harder. </p><p>"Bea..fuck." I continued to pump my fingers in and out of her watching her lose control. She closed her eyes and let go while struggling to contain the moans from her mouth. I felt her breathing start to go back to normal and removed my fingers. I licked them and watched her gaze. She still had that look of desire in her eyes. I wanted more of her. She grinned and kissed me, "I'm still really fucking horny."</p><p>"Maybe I could help you with that after your shift, when you come back to my place."</p><p>Allie looked away, "Bea.."</p><p>"No, hear me out. I've been trying to contact you to let you know that Debbie is sorry. And she wants to apologize to you."</p><p>"Bea, I'm not sure. I don't want her to feel like she has to apologize. If she meant it, then it is what it is."</p><p>I moved to grab my bra and quickly put it back on. I looked at my ripped shirt and looked back at her, "What? It looked better off." She grinned.</p><p>I grabbed my sweater and put that on instead. "She isn't being forced to do or say anything. These are her feelings, her thoughts. From what she told me Franky and Kaz were trying to get through to her and got absolutely nowhere. Bridget was the one that got her to really think about all of it."</p><p>"I don't want to come in between you two, that is the only reason I left. You have to know that, it wasn't because my feelings for you ever changed. I've never stopped loving you Bea."</p><p>I looked at her wondering if I misheard, "You love me?"</p><p>"Of course, I'd be an idiot not to. I am in love with you Bea Smith."</p><p>I kissed her deeply and looked her in her eyes, "I love you too Allie Novak."</p><p>Allie beamed, "Thank God." </p><p>I laughed, "I want you to come home, please. I miss you and Debbie is really sorry. Come home with me after work."</p><p>Allie kissed me, "Okay."</p><p>I smiled and put my arms around her, "Good." I went to kiss her but pulled back, "Shouldn't you be working?"</p><p>"I'm on my break." She looked at her watch, "And it seems like I still have some more time before I have to go back so..." She grabbed me by my ass. I laughed and kissed her. </p><p>"Can I ask you something?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"Why did you take Rebecca's number?"</p><p>"I didn't I threw it away."</p><p>Allie pouted a bit, "But you still took it when Franky gave it to you."</p><p>I kissed Allie again, "Baby, I didn't want it, I promise. I threw it away it's in the trash. I don't want Rebecca or any other woman or man. I want you, only you. I'm in love with you."</p><p>We kissed again before there was a knock on the door, "Oi, why'd you lock the door."</p><p>I groaned and looked at Allie, she nodded. I walked over to open the door and Franky barged in. She had the biggest smile on her face when she saw Allie in my office. "Fucking finally. Took yous long enough. I thought we were going to have to really work hard to get you guys back together."</p><p>I was standing near Allie who had her arm around my waist. "No need Franky, nothing could keep me away from my girl."</p><p>She looked at the papers on the floor, "Yeah I can tell. Nice hickey's Red."</p><p>I blushed and looked at Allie. </p><p>"Sorry babe." She kissed my cheek. </p><p>"Okay, I'm over it now." Franky started to walk out the room, "Get back to work Novak, you too Smith. Oh and Allie, call Kaz, she's been getting on my nerves asking for updates." </p><p>Allie nodded and kissed me again, "Time for me to get back to work babe."</p><p>She walked out and I smiled to myself. We were back.</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I didn't even try to hide my smile. Bea and I were back together, she loved me and I loved her. I wasn't going to lie, I was nervous about going back to her place after work and seeing Debbie. I know Bea said she wasn't being forced to apologize but I wasn't sure if it would be genuine. I'd rather her be honest than lie about being okay with something she wasn't. But I did love the fact that Bea referred to her place as our home, it felt that way to me. </p><p>Some time passed and my shift was over. Bea had waited for me and I followed her to her house. I took a deep breath and got out of my car. Bea grabbed my hand and kissed me. "Don't be nervous." I followed her inside. Bea called out Debbie's name. I was anxious. Debbie came out of her room and saw me. </p><p>I stood there unsure of what so say or do. Before I knew it, Debbie had run over to me and hugged me. I slowly put my arms around her. "Allie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I was just talking out of my ass and I didn't realize what I was saying."</p><p>"Debbie, language." Bea said. </p><p>"Sorry." Debbie looked at me, "Allie, I am really sorry."</p><p>"It's alright Deb. I know my past is tough for some people to accept, I don't want you to feel forced to apologize-"</p><p>"I'm not being forced. I was angry at first and then I saw how great you were with mom and I realized that no matter what you used to do, you were this amazing person now. I just thought it would all work out you know? And then things went badly and I was angry at myself for not having tried to fix it earlier. I'm so sorry Allie."</p><p>"It's okay kiddo." I hugged her and Bea gave us a moment alone. </p><p>"Allie, I will never be able to repay you for everything you've done for my mom and for me. I shouldn't have ever reacted the way I did. I was just being a brat."</p><p>"Debbie, it's alright. I'm not mad, I was a bit sad at first but I understood."</p><p>"Thank you for coming back. Mom was a wreck without you. I don't think I had ever seen her so upset. I felt even worse because I felt so responsible for all of it."</p><p>"Well, your mom wasn't the only one. But, maybe it's not all bad. Because we know what it feels like to be without each other, we'll probably never ever want to be apart again. Which is going to suck for you because we're going to be all lovey dovey."</p><p>Debbie laughed, "I'd rather you guys be all up on each other, as gross as it is at times, than have you guys be without each other."</p><p>"Me too." I smiled. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I started on dinner and heard Allie and Debbie joking about something. I was glad things were somewhat back to the way they used to be. We all had dinner together and once it got late Debbie went to bed hugging us both. </p><p>Allie stood up afterwards, "I should get going."</p><p>I grabbed her wrist and kissed her. "You're not going anywhere."</p><p>She smiled, "Says who?"</p><p>I pulled her closer to me and whispered, "I do, and now I'm really horny. But if you want, you can go home, I'll just have to be alone in my bed, touching myself thinking of you." I walked towards my bedroom and before I knew it Allie was pushing me onto the bed. She put my hands above my head and sucked on my neck. I closed my eyes allowing myself to be totally and completely loved by her. We spent all our time making love to each other and it truly made me fall deeper in love with her, the way she cared, the way she loved me. We laid in bed entangled in one another. I intertwined her pinky with mine and kissed her. "My seahorse."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Gravity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>2 weeks had passed since Allie and I had gotten back together and life was great. Allie and I were happy, Debbie had apologized over a million times, and Allie refrained from going to the store in which she had seen Marie so that seemed to solve that issue even though it didn't make me like the idea that she was still in near proximity. </p><p>I woke up with Allie's arms wrapped around me and moved my body closer to hers. I put my head in the crook of her neck and closed my eyes. Seconds late I felt her arms tighten around me and a kiss on my head. "I will never get tired of waking up like this."</p><p>I smiled, "I hope not." I kissed a bite mark I had made on top of her breast the night before. Allie and I were getting a bit rougher in the bedroom, not in a bad way, in a really good way. She went at my pace and always asked me for permission before doing anything. I already loved having sex with Allie, this new roughness made it exciting. "Does it hurt?"</p><p>She looked down, "It hurt when it was happening but it was a nice pain, pleasurable pain." She kissed me and slightly bit my lip, I moaned. "Did that hurt?"</p><p>I shook my head. "I liked it."</p><p>"Exactly, pain can be very pleasurable baby." She kissed my neck and moved down to suck on my breasts. </p><p>"Allie...I have to get up for work."</p><p>Allie groaned and came back up. "Don't go."</p><p>I smiled, "I'm sorry baby, plus I have to work on the rosters for this weekend and the upcoming weeks."</p><p>"Okay, could I get this Saturday morning off?"</p><p>"Sure, why?"</p><p>Allie rolled her eyes, "Nothing important, Kaz wants to have breakfast or whatever."</p><p>"Sure, I can give you the day off if you want. Charlie has been asking for more hours."</p><p>Allie was quick to answer, "You don't have to do that. I don't mind working the night shift."</p><p>"Okay." I kissed her and started to get up. I put my robe on and kissed her again before going to shower. After showering and making Debbie and Allie breakfast, I was getting ready to head out. I kissed Allie, "See you baby."</p><p>"Do you want to come over after work?" Allie asked with a bit of flirtation in her voice. </p><p>"I'm going to the car." Debbie walked away.</p><p>I laughed and nodded, "I'll stop by for a bit."</p><p>Allie kissed me and nibbled on my ear, "That is if I ever let you leave."</p><p>I felt the heat rush up to my face and I kissed her again. "Goodbye Allie."</p><p>"Love you."</p><p>"I love you too." I got in my car and Allie got into hers. I drove Deb to school and told her I'd be going over to Allie's after work. </p><p>"Can I invite some friends for a study session?"</p><p>"No parties."</p><p>"Yeah because I'm such a party animal."</p><p>"I'll send you some money later so you guys could order food."</p><p>"Cool, bye mom. Love you."</p><p>"To the moon and back."</p><p>I got to work and said hello to everyone as I headed up to my office. Franky's door was open and she was in there with Kaz. "Hiya Red."</p><p>"Hey. Hi Kaz."</p><p>"Hey Bea, I was hoping on having a quick word with you about something." </p><p>I looked over at Franky who shrugged. "Sure, let's go to my office."</p><p>Kaz sat down and I offered her something to drink which she politely denied. </p><p>"So, what's up. Don't tell me Debbie is causing any trouble at the shelter."</p><p>"Not at all, she's doing a really good job and seems to like it."</p><p>I nodded, "She does."</p><p>"I'm actually here to talk about a certain somebody else."</p><p>"Allie?"</p><p>Kaz nodded, "I wanted to do something special for her on Saturday and I know she'll make excuses but I was hoping to get your help with it."</p><p>I gave Kaz a questioning look, "Saturday? What's special about it. Allie asked for the morning off because she said you wanted to take her out for breakfast but she wanted to work that night."</p><p>Kaz rolled her eyes, "Of course she does. And of course she didn't tell you. Saturday is Allie's birthday."</p><p>My jaw dropped, "Why didn't she say anything. She pushed Saturday off like it was nothing."</p><p>"She doesn't like to celebrate her birthday, she never really has."</p><p>I sat down across from Kaz, "Why?"</p><p>"It just has never mattered to her. She was always alone on her birthday after her parents kicked her out. When she was on the streets and with Marie, birthdays stopped being important. I think she always wanted that family ambiance but she never really got it. I've tried to make her birthdays as special as I could but something has always been missing."</p><p>It made me sad that Allie didn't celebrate her birthday because she didn't have a family to celebrate it with. She should have that, she should have all of it. "I'm in. I want this day to be really special for Allie."</p><p>Kaz said she'd message me on things she had planned. "Give her the day off but don't make it seem like you know. If she thinks you're going all out for her she'll try to stop you."</p><p>"Okay, sounds good. How are you doing?"</p><p>"I'm okay I think. I have a session with Bridget today so that will drain the life out of me but everything is okay."</p><p>"Good, I'm glad everything is working out Kaz."</p><p>"Me too."</p><p>We said our goodbyes and I went to Franky's office. "I need your help with something."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I was ridiculously nervous for this session. My homework from my last session with Bridget was to come up with the reason as to why I was afraid to have sex. It's not that I didn't know the answer, I just didn't want to say it out loud. Saying it makes it real, talking about it brings it all back. Bridget came out to the waiting room, "Kaz, great to see you. Come in."</p><p>I followed her to her office and she offered me something to drink, I declined and sat down. </p><p>"Okay, how are you feeling today Kaz?" She asked me whilst crossing her legs.</p><p>"A bit nervous if I'm being honest."</p><p>"I understand that, but remember Kaz, this is a safe space. Nothing you say leaves this room, if at any point you are no longer comfortable continuing we will stop okay?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"Do you remember what I asked of you last time?"</p><p>I nodded again.</p><p>"Are you ready to discuss it?"</p><p>"I think so."</p><p>"Okay, why don't you start?"</p><p>"Growing up my parents had a pretty big house with lots of land. It went on and on for miles, we lived in the outskirts of town. Our closest neighbors were houses away, I spent most of my time playing on my own, with my dad. He was a farmer, so we had animals and stuff, and he'd go around to the nearby houses and markets and sell milk, eggs, etc. My mom was a stay at home mom and wife, she did everything for us for him. One day, he um, he bought me a horse. It was the best gift I had ever gotten, I loved horses so much and he got one just for me. He was such a beautiful horse, I loved him so much. My dad asked me what I was going to call him, I said I was going to call him Prince. My dad said, 'I thought I was your Prince.' I said he was my daddy." I shivered thinking of it all. "I trusted him, I loved him, and I believed him when he said he'd take care of me."</p><p>"How old were you Kaz, when it first started?"</p><p>"5 or 6." I crossed my arms. "I don't even know why, what changed. He went from being the one person in the entire world I trusted the most to...How can a father do that to their child?"</p><p>"There are many explanations psychologists try to find in order to explain what causes a father to suddenly become sexually attracted to their children, to explain this fondness but no explanation excuses what happened Kaz. You were young, you were a child and your father had a responsibility to protect you. He took advantage of his dominant role and acted out in a very inappropriate way."</p><p>I felt tears burning my skin and I roughly wiped them away, "I knew it was wrong. He shouldn't have touched me in that way, he shouldn't have been alone with me and done that to me. And when I told my mom she didn't believe me. She told me not to say anything, she begged me. I saw her begging my dad to stay, that she didn't believe me that she knew I was lying." Bridget handed me a tissue. "How could she pick her husband over her kid? They both called me liars, I know what he did. Why was I the liar? I was a kid, I didn't know anything about sex, I couldn't just be making shit up."</p><p>"You weren't Kaz. You were telling the truth. Unfortunately, women sticking with their husbands even though there is sexual abuse in the home is fairly common. It had nothing to do with you Kaz. You were not and are not the bad guy for wishing your parents would have done what they should have. They should have protected you, they should have loved you. Your father should have never taken advantage of you, your mother should have believed you. But Kaz, what your father did to you wasn't sex, he sexually abused you. Sex involves consent, between consenting adults."</p><p>"He kept doing it. But when I kept talking about it I think he got nervous. He stopped, and then to make sure I kept my mouth shut he killed my horse, right in front of me. He said this is what happens to little girls who lie. I never talked about it again. I would only tell people I really trusted but that was less than a handful."</p><p>"How were things as you got older?"</p><p>"I stayed to myself mostly. My parents and I's relationship was never great. But you want to know the worst part of all of it?"</p><p>Bridget nodded. </p><p>"I still loved him. How fucked up am I? I still loved him after everything. I hate him, but I still love him." I closed my eyes and cried. </p><p>Bridget came over and bent down grabbing my hands. "Kaz, he is still your father. You grew to look at him with admiration and love. Loving him doesn't make you fucked up, it makes you human. Hate and love are two very powerful emotions. It's emotional ambivalence, the two can coexist by having the same amount of weight."</p><p>"I hate what he did to me, I hate what he has made me become."</p><p>"What would that be?"</p><p>"Angry, I'm angry all the fucking time. I tried going to anger management classes but I feel that anger still boiling deep inside of me. Before Will, I never trusted any man. Even my ex, I still had trouble relaxing with him. He's made me into this hateful person, it's frustrating. He's living his life, they both are, with no qualms over what happened to me. I haven't seen my parents in over 10 years, but I know they don't even think twice about it. My father probably doesn't care, my mother is still with him."</p><p>"Kaz your anger is completely understandable. Your father hurt you and you were angry because no one listened, they dismissed what happened to you and never let you work through it and heal. Your anger festered through all that time and as you got older it got harder to control it. You are not a hateful person Kaz. A hateful person has no way of caring for others, they use that hate to push people away. You have created bonds, friendships, relationships through that power and openness that you hold. You exude kindness, you have saved countless women with the work you do. Struggling to trust men is understandable, the one person you trusted betrayed that trust and you found it hard to trust anyone like that again. But you yourself have said that you want to try to feel comfortable enough to be sexual with someone, and in order to do that, it's important to talk through all of this. To understand that this isn't your fault Kaz. What happened to you was not your fault. Once you understand that, once you believe it, you will be able to thrive."</p><p>I smiled through my tears, "I want to, I really do."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>After work I headed over to Allie's apartment. She opened the door and smiled when she saw me, "Finally." She kissed me and brought me inside. She pushed me up against the door and I smiled into the kiss. </p><p>"It's only been a couple of hours."</p><p>"It's too much." She kissed me again and brought me towards the kitchen.</p><p>"You're cooking?" I asked.</p><p>"Piss off, I can cook. I choose not to."</p><p>"Sure. Oh by the way, I know you said you could work Saturday but Charlie asked me again so I gave the day to her." </p><p>"That'd be alright, I'll just have to find someone to spend that time with." She brought me closer to her and kissed me. </p><p>"I think I can help with that."</p><p>"Why don't you find something to watch on TV while I finish this?"</p><p>"Sure." I kissed her again and took my jacket off. I sat down to turn the tv on but the remote seemed to be dead. "Babe, I think you need to put some new batteries in this."</p><p>Allie was at the stove, "Could you get them Bea? There should be some in the bottom drawer of my dresser in my room."</p><p>I got up and went into Allie's bedroom. I went to her dresser and went to the open the bottom drawer. She had some sweatshirts so I moved around and saw the batteries but then I saw something that I wasn't quite sure what it was. There were straps and it was attached to what I presumed to be a dildo. I put it back and grabbed the batteries. I could feel my heart pounding, I wasn't sure exactly what it was and it felt wrong having looked through Allie's things like that. I went back to the living room and put the new batteries in the remote control. I threw out the old ones. I was embarrassed at what I had found just because I wasn't sure what it was and what it did. Then it made me wonder if Allie used it, which must have been obvious by the fact that she had it. </p><p>I felt hands on my hips and I turned around. "What's on your mind babe?"</p><p>I blushed a bit and looked away.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Nothing it's just..."</p><p>"Just what?"</p><p>"I wasn't snooping I swear. It's just that when I was looking for the batteries I found this thing in your drawer."</p><p>Allie furrowed her brow and then realization hit her face. She laughed, "Oh that. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable Bea."</p><p>"It's not that...I just didn't know what it was."</p><p>"It's a strap on. So the straps are like a harness and you put it on during sex and you know the rest."</p><p>I blushed again, "Do you like wearing it or having it used on you?"</p><p>"Sometimes. Having is used on you could be a very fulfilling experience but wearing it is sometimes funner."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>She got close to me, pushing me up against the counter. She kissed the side of my neck and whispered in my ear, "Closeness, intimacy. Imagine our bodies this close together, our hands intertwining, being hot and sweaty on top of each other. Wearing the strap on makes me feel powerful, it makes me feel closer to my partner."</p><p>I saw the arousal in her eyes and pulled her into a kiss. She got even closer to me, "Think of me wearing it, pounding into you as I kiss you. You moaning in my mouth as I pick up the pace." She grabbed my hands and put them above my head. She started to nip at my neck while her leg was in between mine. My breathing had picked up and I was so turned on. "You begging me for more as I completely fill you." I whined when she added more pressure. "Is that something you'd like Bea?"</p><p>I nodded frantically. She kissed me and I moaned when she moved her hand down my pants. She wasted no time to put her fingers inside of me and started to curve them just right. I cursed and removed her shirt. I needed to feel her. "Bedroom." </p><p>Allie grinned, turned the stove off, and carried me to bed. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>After my session with Bridget, I went to the shelter for a bit. Will had the day off, he had made plans to go hiking with Fletch. He texted me to come over after I was done. I knocked on his door and he opened it seconds later. He looked sweaty and tired. "Hey babe." He pulled me in for a kiss. </p><p>"So I'm assuming the hike went well."</p><p>"Yeah, we came back about an hour ago so I decided to lift some weights." </p><p>"You make it sounds so easy."</p><p>He pulled me close to him, "You could work out with me anytime you'd like."</p><p>"I would never be able to keep up." </p><p>"How was therapy, work?"</p><p>"Therapy was rough but good. Work was fine."</p><p>"I'm proud of you. I know it can't be easy. I was gonna start some dinner soon, any requests?"</p><p>"Anything is fine with me."</p><p>"Righto, I'm going to hop into the shower really quick. I'll be out in a sec." He kissed me and playfully slapped my ass. </p><p>I lightly pushed him and he laughed. I sat down on his couch and looked through my phone for a bit. Bea had texted me about some plans she had for Allie's birthday. Will came out of the shower wearing shorts and drying his hair with a towel, he was shirtless. I had seen Will shirtless before but for whatever reason I couldn't stop staring. He caught me staring and came over to me, "See something you like."</p><p>"Nuh."</p><p>"No? Okay." He picked me up while I yelled for him to put me down. </p><p>"Will stop, you're still wet." I laughed.</p><p>"Admit it."</p><p>"No."</p><p>He laid me down on the couch and started to tickle me. </p><p>"Will, I can't breathe."</p><p>"Are you going to admit it?"</p><p>"Yes fine, you're very attractive. There I said it."</p><p>"Was it so hard huh?" He kissed me and I deepened the kiss. He was on top of me and I grinded myself against him. He unzipped my sweater and kissed my neck. We had been in situations like this a lot more recently and it killed me to stop. I wasn't as afraid but I didn't want to start something I wouldn't be able to finish. It was getting harder to resist him. He pulled back from the kiss and put his head on my chest and groaned, "I'm sorry."</p><p>I grabbed his face to look at me, "Why are you sorry?"</p><p>He made a face. He looked down at his body and I realized he had gotten hard. "I'm sorry Kaz."</p><p>"No, I am. I shouldn't be making you wait and I know it's hard for you."</p><p>"I can abstain from sex Kaz, but for whatever reason I can't control myself around you." He kissed me and stood up trying to cover himself. "I'm going to go put some jeans and a shirt on. I'll be right back." He went to his bedroom and came back. He went to the kitchen to start working on dinner.</p><p>I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. "I'm sorry Will."</p><p>He turned around and grabbed the sides of my face, "What did I say? I'm okay with waiting. I prefer it, I've had a lot of meaningless sex in my life. When you and I finally do it, I want it to mean something." He kissed me. </p><p>"I just don't want you to think that I don't want to, I do. It's getting hard for me too."</p><p>He grinned, "I knew you liked me."</p><p>"Shut up." I laughed. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie and I were in bed, our bodies intertwined after having sex. I had my head on her chest.</p><p>"I can hear you thinking Bea."</p><p>I looked up at her, "Would you be mad if I didn't want to have sex using the strap on?"</p><p>Her eyes softened, "Of course not. Babe, I was never going to ask you to use it or to suggest using it on you. Some people like it some people don't."</p><p>"I just...I know we've been going at a faster pace in the bedroom it's just I'm afraid I wouldn't like it." I knew it wasn't like the real thing but the idea of Allie using it on me like she described to me earlier was equal parts exciting and absolutely terrifying. </p><p>"That's okay, I promise. Nothing happens unless you say so."</p><p>"Would you want me to wear it, for you?"</p><p>"Not unless you didn't want to. I do like being fucked by a strap on but penetration isn't the only form of sex Bea, I'm pretty sure I taught you that already." </p><p>I nodded, "Okay." I kissed her and started to get up. She wrapped har legs around my torso and kissed me.</p><p>"Where do you think you're going Ms. Smith?"</p><p>"Home, Ms. Novak."</p><p>Allie shook her head, "I don't think so. I think that I would like to wake up with you tomorrow morning in my bed and have hot morning sex with my super hot girlfriend that I am totally in love with."</p><p>"Debbie."</p><p>"You said she had friends over and one of them was planning on spending the night."</p><p>I squinted at her and bit my lip, "Let me call Deb. If she says its okay then I'll stay."</p><p>Allie grinned and got up.</p><p>"Where are you going?"</p><p>"Going to get some whipped cream for the next round. I know Deb is going to say yes." Allie winked at me and went to the kitchen.</p><p>"Cheeky bugger." I called Debbie who told me she was fine. She didn't mind if I stayed at Allie's and that her friend was staying over. I told her to call me if she needed anything and that I'd be there in the morning to take them both to school the next morning. As I was finishing the call Allie had come back to bed and began sucking on my neck while feeling me up. "Okay bye Deb." I quickly hung up and captured Allie's lips. </p><p>She pushed me onto the bed and grabbed the can of whipped cream, "Now, time for dessert."</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I got home and poured myself a tall glass of wine. Today was just a rough day. I had 3 other clients plus Kaz and these weren't light hearted sessions. They all revolved around sexual abuse which today on all days was not something I wanted to be reminded of. I had purposely declined Franky's phone calls because I just wanted to be alone. I texted her saying I was a bit busy and I'd get back to her later, which was a lie. </p><p>I sat down on my couch and ran my fingers through my hair. 5 years today. 5 years ago I was attacked and raped by a prisoner. 5 years ago my entire life changed because of one event. I could still feel his breath on my neck, his grunting as he forced himself onto me, the way he smelled, the way he sounded. I took a sip of the wine in front of me and closed my eyes trying to control my breathing. </p><p>I should have never put myself in that position in the first place. I knew better than to trust an inmate. My time working in corrections I worked between Wentworth and Walford. Wentworth was a female prison and Walford was a men's prison. These past several weeks having it repeated over and over again my Franky, Bea, Kaz just brought back too many bad memories. When Franky mentioned this guard at Walford who was helping them with this whole Harry Smith mess I was afraid it was someone who knew me from my time there. Linda apparently started working there shortly after I had resigned. </p><p>It had happened so quickly, I never saw it coming. He was there for a regular session, his mood wasn't any different, he wasn't acting differently. I had made it a habit to close the blinds during our sessions because he cried during one and said the screws made fun of him for it and told the other prisoners who in return bashed him for being a baby. I hadn't realized that at some point during our sessions he took my kindness as affection. He thought I was coming onto him and when he had the chance he took the opportunity to overpower me and raped me. No matter how hard I tried to fight and scream, my body shut down. I froze, I couldn't move or scream, I felt completely powerless. I stayed in my office for hours, hiding behind my desk as I cried. One of the male guards who was a friend of mine came to find me to see if I needed a lift home. He found me shaking and crying. </p><p>I felt myself start to cry remembering it. Vera had tried to get me to come over to her place tonight but I needed to be alone. Being around people would have been too much. She was the only person other than my ex that new what happened to me. That's part of the reason my ex and I broke up. She had cheated because I struggled to be intimate. It wasn't her, it was me. Anytime she touched me I broke out and cried. I think she got frustrated with me and couldn't take it anymore, I didn't blame her. It took me a long time to try to have sex again. I had been with other women before Franky but it just felt forced, with Franky it came naturally. Even though she had this toughness about her and this rough exterior, she was kind and tender behind closed doors. She made love to me which made me feel safe and guarded. </p><p>I heard a knock on the door and felt the panic rise in my chest. </p><p>"Gidge! It's me."</p><p>I groaned and went to look in the mirror quickly. I wiped the remaining tears off my face and went to open the door. "Franky, what are you doing here?"</p><p>"You've been ignoring my calls all day. What's up?"</p><p>"Nothing baby, I've just had a really long day and didn't want to take it out on you is all."</p><p>"You gonna let me in?"</p><p>"Franky, I really need to be alone."</p><p>"Why? Have you been crying?"</p><p>"Franky please..."</p><p>"What is it?" She grabbed my hands and let herself in. I shut the door and sighed. </p><p>"Franky, I'm just really tired."</p><p>"Nah, it's more than that. You never cry Gidge, not even when we put on those soppy love movies. Are you alright? Is it me did I do something?"</p><p>Franky looked like a little kid asking if they were in trouble, "No baby it isn't you. There's just a lot in my head today."</p><p>"Well, what is it? I can help."</p><p>I smiled at the sentiment. "Franky, it's nothing really."</p><p>"Bullshit, tell me." She grabbed my hands. "What is it?"</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "It's just something that happened a long time ago and it's the anniversary of when it happened so I'm just feeling a bit emotional is all."</p><p>"What was it?"</p><p>I wanted to blow it off and then I tried to shrink myself. What would I say to someone in my position? Would I tell them to lie, to hide it, to tell the truth? I grabbed Franky and sat us both down on the couch. "Look, what I'm about to say, isn't easy. I don't want you to freak out, it happened a long time ago. It's over and done with okay?"</p><p>Franky slowly nodded. </p><p>"Do you remember, how I told you I used to work in corrections for a long time and then I just left one day?"</p><p>"Yeah, but you said its cause you wanted to go into business with Vera."</p><p>"That was after, I left through my own accord. I left because..." I took a deep breath. "Franky I was raped by an inmate."</p><p>Franky looked me in my eyes and started to get teary eyed. She hugged me tightly. "I'll kill him Gidge, whoever this fucker is I'll fucking kill him."</p><p>"No Franky." I looked her in her eyes, "It's over. It happened a long time ago. He is in prison where he belongs okay? You don't need to do anything. I don't want you to do you understand me?"</p><p>Franky nodded and hugged me again. "I'm sorry Gidge. I'm here, I'll protect you."</p><p>I smiled and kissed her. "I know you will. Can you do something for me?"</p><p>"Anything."</p><p>"Take me to bed. Make love to me, and hold me after. Please."</p><p>Franky nodded and kissed me. Franky took me to bed and did exactly what I asked of her. She made love to me in the most beautiful and caring way. I cried afterwards.</p><p>"Fuck Gidge did I hurt ya?"</p><p>"No, you loved me." I kissed her and fell asleep in her arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey all, so the whole story of Kaz's dad occupation I completely BSed. I have no idea what he did, it was never mentioned in the show so I took what I could from flashbacks. Also, thank you so much for all the comments! I read all of them and take all comments in consideration. Thank you so much for the support.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. You and Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Franky POV </p><p>I woke up with my arms wrapped around Bridget, she was facing the opposite way so I was spooning her. What she told me last night really opened my eyes to what an amazing woman she was. She spent all her days listening to other people, offering her insight, being this voice of reason, protecting them. She deserved to have that too, someone who would listen to her, someone who would protect her, I was going to do everything in my power to ensure that person was me. She was never going to be afraid again because I was here. </p><p>I put my arm around her waist and hugged her tightly kissing her back. She started to stir a bit and sighed, "Morning baby."</p><p>"Morning spunky." I kissed her cheek.</p><p>She turned around and kissed me. "Thank you for last night."</p><p>"No need. Anything you need, I'm here. I love you Bridget."</p><p>She smiled, "I love you too Franky."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I had to get up earlier to both go back to the house to pick Debbie and her friend off and drop them off at school, and to also do my best to escape Allie's kisses and wandering hands. I couldn't get enough of her, she was absolutely intoxicating, addicting. </p><p>After showering and changing quickly, I dropped Deb and her friend off at school. I drove to work and went to say good morning to Franky who was sitting at her desk with an unhappy look on her face. "Morning Franks."</p><p>"Hey Red."</p><p>"What's up with you, are you alright?"</p><p>She shrugged, "Just stuff going on."</p><p>I came over to sit on her desk. "Franky, talk to me. What's going on?"</p><p>"Gidge just told me something last night, something that happened to her a while ago and I'm just a bit upset is all."</p><p>If Bridget told Franky what I think she did, it would definitely explain Franky's deflated mood. I grabbed Franky's hand, "She's lucky to have you, you know that?" Franky shrugged and I squeezed her hand, "She is Franky. Everyone should have a Franky Doyle in their life. Bridget is the luckiest woman in the world to have you there for her. Whatever it is she said, she trusted you enough to say it."</p><p>Franky nodded and I kissed her on the head. "Oi, I got a girl."</p><p>I laughed and smacked her arm, "So do I. Now get to work."</p><p>"Since when did you become my boss?"</p><p>"Please, I've always been the boss."</p><p>Franky scoffed and smiled a bit. I went to my office and felt my phone buzz. It was a message from Allie still in bed saying she missed me. I shot her a quick text back telling her I missed her too and got to work. </p><p>Some days had passed and it was finally Saturday, Allie's birthday. It took everything inside of me not to tell her Happy Birthday as soon as she opened her eyes. I kissed her good morning. "What time are you meeting Kaz for breakfast?"</p><p>"At 10."</p><p>"After you guys are done, do you want me to pick you up? I wanted to take the Harley out and could use some company." I said while kissing her neck.</p><p>Her eyes twinkled a bit, "Could you wear those leather pants again?"</p><p>I smiled and kissed her deeply. "I can wear whatever you'd like Allie."</p><p>She moaned when I started to circle her clit. "Bea I'm going to be late."</p><p>"So it's only okay if you're the one doing it to me and making me late huh."</p><p>She arched her back as I inserted my fingers. "Bea please..."</p><p>I sped up the pace just a bit and whispered in her ear, "Does that feel good baby?" She nodded and bit her lip. "You're so wet baby, are you going to come for me?"</p><p>"Bea I'm so close."</p><p>I pulled her hair slightly and kissed her in an almost bruising kiss. I bit her bottom lip and watched her eyes roll back. She did an awful job at trying to contain her moans. "Fuck."</p><p>I removed my fingers and made her lick them. I kissed her getting hints of her taste from her mouth. "Now you can go."</p><p>"Nuh-uh, your turn."</p><p>"Sorry babe, you made plans remember."</p><p>"You are evil."</p><p>I grinned and kissed her, "You love it. Plus just think of all the things you can do to me later tonight. I'll be wearing my leather pants, that tight shirt that shows just enough cleavage. That black jacket you love so much."</p><p>Allie groaned and kissed me, "Fine, tonight you're all mine."</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"What do you mean maybe?"</p><p>"I mean, maybe you'll be so tired after I've fucked you senseless you wouldn't be able to take anymore. You'll be so exhausted that we might have to focus on me some other time."</p><p>"She rolled us over so she was on top, "I will never be too tired to fuck my girl." She sucked on my neck a bit and kissed me.  She got up and went to go shower and get dressed. She kissed me as she left, Debbie had just gotten up and she kissed her on the head. "See ya later babe."</p><p>The door closed and Debbie turned to me. "So let's go over this surprise one more time."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Bea had texted me that Allie had just left the house and that she would be picking her up after our breakfast date in a couple of hours. Things were starting to set out in motion. I waited at this restaurant that Allie liked in a booth in the back. I didn't wait long before I saw her coming forward. I smiled and opened my arms. I hugged her and kissed her head, "Happy Birthday Bubba."</p><p>She slightly smiled, "Thanks mama. But I told you-"</p><p>"Yeah yeah yeah, you don't celebrate your birthday. Still, even letting me take you out for breakfast on your big day is a must. I know you hate birthdays, but I will never fail to remind you how important you are and how grateful I am to have you in my life."</p><p>Allie's eyes gleamed and we sat down to order. We talked about work, her and Bea, me and Will. I asked her if she was doing anything after this. </p><p>"Bea's taking me out to ride on her bike. Speaking of, have you agreed to go on Will's yet?"</p><p>"Don't remind me, the thought still scares me."</p><p>"Nothing will happen Kaz, it's a lot of fun, swear."</p><p>"Yeah yeah. Did you tell Bea it was your birthday?"</p><p>Allie shook her head, "No. I know she'd try to make it all special and stuff and I don't need all of that. I don't want her to feel forced to treat me differently today. Going on a long ride with her, just being with her is enough."</p><p>"Fine, but she's going to be upset if she finds out and you'd never told her."</p><p>"Who's going to tell her?"</p><p>I rolled my eyes and watched the waitress bring out a slice of cake. "Come on, it's just you and me. Hell will not come raining down if you blow a candle and make a wish."</p><p>Allie groaned but took a moment, quickly blew the candle and took a bite of the cake. "Okay, I'll admit, that's good cake."</p><p>"What did you wish for?"</p><p>"I thought you weren't supposed to say. Come on Kaz get with the program."</p><p>I laughed and we walked out after I paid. Will was already waiting for me at his car. "Hey you two." He kissed me and hugged Allie. We all spoke for a bit, Allie trying to convince Will to convince me to ride on his bike with him. I rolled my eyes at their banter. We heard a motorcycle get close and all turned to see Bea stopping right in front of Will's car. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I turned and waited for Bea to step off her bike. She was wearing exactly what she said she would. What I wasn't expecting was a whole new look. Bea took her helmet off and had ditched the red hair and had it dyed blonde and had it straightened. She was wearing red lipstick and looked fucking hot. "Holy fuck." I went over to her and took a look at her.</p><p>"Can't believe someone finally did it, Allie is speechless." Kaz laughed. </p><p>"I just decided I needed a bit of a change." Bea grinned.</p><p>"Baby, don't get me wrong. I loved your red hair but fuck." I kissed her and whispered in her ear, "I really need you to get me out of here."</p><p>Bea blushed. She waved at Kaz and Will, "We should get going. See you guys around."</p><p>"Sure." Kaz laughed. </p><p>Bea hopped onto her bike and handed me my helmet. I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. Before turning on the bike she asked, "Are you up for a bit of a drive baby?"</p><p>"I'm much more up for spending all day in bed with you but a drive sounds good too."</p><p>"Patience Allie, you have me all night tonight."</p><p>"Thank God."</p><p>We drove for almost and hour and a half before I realized where we were going. I had only been once with Kaz and I remember thinking how beautiful it was. I told Kaz that I would want to come her again when I was in love with someone, to share this beautiful view and experience. We stopped and got out. The air felt and smelled the same. I smiled to myself and looked at Bea. She had brought me to Green Ocean Road. The view from the cliffs was insane. We walked to the edge and it felt like I could see the whole world from where I was standing. The ocean looked beautiful. Bea wrapped her arms around me, "I've always loved this view."</p><p>"This is so beautiful Bea."</p><p>"I just thought, after some pretty hellish weeks, we both deserved a little escape. I've always loved it here, I don't come as frequently as I wish just because it's a little far but I wanted to come here with you."</p><p>This was turning out to be the best birthday I had ever had and Bea didn't even know it yet. I decided I would tell her later on tonight. I didn't want to keep it from her but I didn't want to change the way things were now. It felt nice to be here with her, in her arms, just the two of us. We stayed on the cliff for a while, talking, laughing, just being in each other's arms. I don't think I had ever experienced such serenity with someone before. </p><p>After a while Bea wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. "So how about we start to head back, we could go back to my place and order some food."</p><p>"Sounds great, then we could be alone." I kissed her neck and grabbed her ass. "I'll get you out of these jeans and do all the things I've wanted to since you took that helmet off."</p><p>Bea kissed me and grinned, "We'll see."</p><p>"Nope. No maybe's or we'll sees. I will be having my way with you tonight Ms. Smith."</p><p>She kissed me and we got back on the bike. The drive back seemed to go by faster and we got back right around the time it started to get dark. Bea stopped to get gas, she dropped her card and I whistled when she went to pick it up. "Naughty." She kissed me and pulled her phone out. </p><p>We drove to the house and the lights were all off. Bea opened the garage and parked her bike inside. </p><p>"Is Debbie not home?"</p><p>"She should be, she's probably watching a scary movie with the lights off."</p><p>"Maybe we should scare her."</p><p>"Sure." Bea took may hand and led me inside through the garage door. We tip toed inside and Bea went to flick the lights on. I was expecting Debbie to freak out but I was the one that got the surprise instead. Everyone and their mom was in that room screaming surprise. </p><p>"What the fuck?" I asked. </p><p>Bea wrapped her arms around me, "Happy Birthday baby."</p><p>I was genuinely shocked, "You knew?"</p><p>"Of course I did. And I know you don't like big surprises but we all wanted to be here for you."</p><p>"Yeah, cause we care about you ya dick." Frankly laughed.</p><p>Kaz, Will, Franky, Bridget, Debbie, Dorren, Liz, Boomer and Maxine were all here. I tried not to get emotional thinking about what they did for me. The living room was decorated with balloons everywhere with a banner that said Happy Birthday. One by one they all went to hug me. Kaz went last and kissed me, "Happy Birthday bubba."</p><p>"This was you wasn't it?"</p><p>She put her hands up in defense, "I told Bea that your birthday was today. She and Debbie planned all of this. I was just doing what I would have done anyway."</p><p>I hadn't noticed that Bea had disappeared and when she walked back into the room Franky howled, "Jesus Red, fuck if I can even call you that. You tryna give us all a heart attack?"</p><p>Bea had slipped into a tight dress that made my heart stop. It showed off her curves perfectly and made her look like a fucking model. She had also reapplied another layer of her red lipstick, I had taken some of it off earlier. I went over to her and kissed her roughly with absolutely no shame. She wiped the lipstick off my bottom lip. "Happy Birthday Allie."</p><p>I thanked everyone for coming and thanked Deb for helping. She had run around to get all the supplies. Franky had cooked and baked a cake. We all ate and drank and had a great time. Bea and I were holding hands under the dining room table watching Boomer go around giving people bum dances. I looked over at her, "Thank you for this, you really surprised me, in a good way."</p><p>"I'm glad you liked it. Everyone in this room was thrilled to be here which should tell you the impact you make on them and on their lives. Don't ever thing you don't matter Allie. We all love you, I know this may not be exactly blood family, but we're still your family. They're all family to me and they see you in the same way."</p><p>I kissed and thanked her again. Franky brought out a birthday cake and made me blow. Kaz looked like she had tears in her eyes while I blew them out. They made me open the presents they all brought me from Liz's hand knitted scarf, which really made me feel sentimental because she had to take time to make it, to Franky and Bridget's contribution of a very pricey bottle of scotch. I was definitely going to be enjoying that with a certain someone later. I loved every gift I got from everyone and finally it was Bea and Debbie's turn which I tried to stop because they had already done so much. </p><p>Bea stood up next to Deb, "Well, the rest of my gift you'll be getting a little later-"</p><p>"Damn right." Franky yelled. </p><p>Bea gave Franky the finger, "Not all of us have such dirty imaginations Francesca."</p><p>"What the fuck did I say about calling me that?" Bridget kissed Franky's cheek which seemed to calm her down. </p><p>I mouthed the word whipped to her which also earned me a simple gesture from Franky. </p><p>Bea started talking again, "I wanted to give you something that really mattered to me, because I wanted it to matter to you. Deb was actually the one who came up with this idea because she seemed to notice this distinct mood I'd be in depending if I had waken up with you or not. And I realized that she was right, I miss you when we're apart and I don't want to keep waking up alone. I want to wake up every morning with you Allie Novak. So would you move in with us?"</p><p>"Are you serious?" I asked through tears.</p><p>"Deadly. I love you. You're my family."</p><p>I looked at Deb. "You're okay with this?"</p><p>"There's nothing I'd want more." She genuinely smiled. </p><p>I got up and hugged them both, "Yes! I would love to move in with you both."</p><p>Everyone cheered, with the exception of Franky who coughed out, "U-hauls." Bridget playfully smacked Franky's arm who was grinning. "Nah, I'm kidding, this is great. But if you two start being late to work in the mornings, we're going to have to be making some arrangements, like inviting me."</p><p>"Your girlfriend is right there." I answered back. </p><p>"It's all jokes Novak. I'd be a mad woman to let this girl go." She had her arm wrapped around Bridgets waist and kissed her cheek. </p><p>Bea hugged me and I kissed her, "So looks like I'm going to be your roommate. You're going to get so sick and tired of seeing me around."</p><p>"Never." She kissed me.</p><p>"I knew you liked hanging out with me."</p><p>She laughed and I went to hug Deb. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Everything had worked out and she wasn't mad which was a plus. I was afraid she'd freak out once she saw everyone here. I was relieved she agreed to moving in, a small part of me thought she'd say no. </p><p>She came over to hug me, "Thank you for everything Bea."</p><p>"Anything for you beautiful girl."</p><p>"So that gift you said I'd get later, Franky was right, right?"</p><p>"Partially, I have something I want to give you that I'm a bit shy to share. And then everything else, well, you know."</p><p>"Thank God." She kissed me</p><p>People slowly started leaving and Debbie went to her room to grab her backpack. </p><p>"Where are you going?" I asked. </p><p>"To Kaz's. We agreed that you two should be alone tonight and that way Kaz can take me to the shelter in the morning."</p><p>"Are you sure."</p><p>"Yes mom. I love you. Bye Allie, love you to the moon and back."</p><p>I saw Allie blush, "Love you kiddo."</p><p>It was the first time Debbie had told Allie she loved her. To the moon and back was always her and I's thing, but it was adorable to see her use it with Allie too. Once everyone was gone I went over to grab a gift I had hidden in the garage. I handed it to her. </p><p>"How did you know I wouldn't find it?" </p><p>"It was in the garage near the workout equipment. As if you would ever."</p><p>She lightly smacked me. She unwrapped the 2 opening picture frame. One one side was a drawing of her I had made, on the other was a drawing of a sea horse. I saw her run her finger through the pictures and look at me. "Bea...it's beautiful."</p><p>"I know it isn't anything crazy or-"</p><p>She cut me off with a kiss. "This is the best gift I've ever gotten. It's beautiful. No one has ever done anything like this for me. I love it, I love you."</p><p>I smiled and pulled out a smaller gift, "Last one."</p><p>She opened the flat box and pulled out a golden heart locket necklace. She opened it to a photo of both of us. </p><p>"I know it's a little cheesy, Debbie and Franky wouldn't stop reminding me, but I love that photo of us."</p><p>Allie looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "Bea Smith, you are the most romantic woman in the entire world. I love you so fucking much." She kissed me again. "I love it. Can you put it on for me?"</p><p>She moved her hair so I could clip it on. </p><p>"I love it baby." </p><p>I kissed her deeply and she moved me so I was straddling her. She kissed my neck and her hands wandered around my body. "I need to get you out of this Bea."</p><p>I grabbed her hand and took her to the bedroom. I sat her down on the bed and unzipped myself out of my dress to reveal a red garter lingerie set. I felt Allie's gaze burning through my skin. "Fucking hell Bea, you really do know how to give a girl a good birthday."</p><p>I walked over to the bed and kissed her slowly taking her shirt off and unzipping her pants. I kissed her neck and straddled her again. She put her face in between by breasts and kissed. Her hands were on my ass and I grinded against her. "Fuck Bea."</p><p>I pushed her onto the bed and pulled her jeans off. I removed her bra and her underwear. I kissed up her leg leaving red lipstick stains. Allie eye's never left me, I kissed in between her thighs and and flicked my tongue over Allie's clit. I moved my hands to touch her breasts. I pressed my tongue deeper into Allie's cunt and fastened my movements. Allie was moaning and I knew she was close to the edge. She was shaking and begging me to let her come. Her thighs tightened around my head and she came. I let Allie's orgasm ride out and kissed my way up her body. </p><p>I kissed her and heard her moan. I moved up a bit so she was kissing my chest. She started to pull the straps off the top part of the lingerie but I stopped her. I put her hands to her sides and kissed her, biting her lip, "I'm not done with you yet."</p><p>"Bea, you haven't let me touch you since this morning. It is absolute torture baby."</p><p>"Oh baby, we haven't even gotten to the best part."</p><p>I saw arousal fill Allie's eyes. I got up and stripped from the garments. Allie looked at me, "Bea...please let me touch you."</p><p>I shook my head and leaned in to whisper, "Wait for me, I have one more present."</p><p>"Fucking hell, I will never complain about hating my birthday again, I swear."</p><p>I grinned and went over to the closet. I pulled out a strap on I had bought the day before after work. </p><p>"Bea-"</p><p>"I want to, let me fuck you with it."</p><p>Allie gulped and nodded. I put it on, feeling a bit ridiculous but also weirdly sexy. I grabbed a bottle of lube that the woman at the store told me to get when I bought it. I remember feeling so out of place and embarrassed to ask questions. I tightened the harness so it fit perfectly. I moved back over to the bed and looked at her. "I'm nervous."</p><p>"Don't be. You are very very convincing, I wouldn't have been able to tell. I don't think I've ever been so wet."</p><p>I smiled and kissed her. I aligned the strap on so it met with Allie's entrance. Allie lifted her hips as I pressed the tip in and she screamed when I slide it in. She bit my shoulder and moved so she was holding on to me. </p><p>"Are you okay?" I asked worried I had hurt her. </p><p>She nodded quickly, "It's just been a while, but it doesn't hurt. It feels good, keep going."</p><p>I nodded and raised Allie's knee a bit, I started to pump in and out and watched Allie start to really lose control. She scratched my back as I sped up the pace. Our bodies moved in sync while Allie continued to raise her hips trying to bring us closer. She was right, I could feel all of her, I felt so close to her. Watching her enjoy herself was captivating. </p><p>"Fuck Bea, Oh my God." </p><p>I never thought that I would have liked this, but watching her getting off because of how I was fucking her turned me on. I liked it, a lot. Allie whined as I opened her legs a little wider so I could thrust a little harder and deeper. "I'm close Bea, I don't think I can hold on any longer." </p><p>I nodded and kissed her deeply as she came again. Her eyes were shut as she came back down from her high. I pulled out and removed the strap on. </p><p>I laid down next to Allie and kissed her, "How are you feeling baby?"</p><p>"You have killed me and brought me back to life Bea Smith. You are amazing, you know that?"</p><p>I smiled and kissed her again. </p><p>"I really, really want to fuck you, can I? Please."</p><p>I grinned and nodded. She moved so she was on top of me and kissed me deeply, "My turn."</p><p>Franky POV  </p><p>Gidge was washing her face and I was watching her from the bathroom doorway. We made eye contact through the mirror and she asked, "What?"</p><p>"Does it bother you when I make jokes like the ones I made tonight. Like the whole threesome joke I made about Bea, Allie, and me."</p><p>Gidge turned around and looked at me, "No, why?"</p><p>I shrugged, "I don't know. I just don't want you to think I'm serious. I'd never do that to ya you know that right?" Gidge and I had spoken more about what happened to her and how her ex cheated on her because Gidge struggled to have sex for a while. I hadn't thought about what I said affecting her in any way until now. </p><p>She came over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, "When we met, the first thing that attracted me to you was your humor, your flirtation, and your charm. I don't want you to change for me. I love you the way you are. I know you like to make jokes, especially about sex, it doesn't bother me Franky. Please, don't think otherwise."</p><p>She kissed me and I put my hands on her hips, "I really love you Bridget."</p><p>She smiled at me. "What is it? You have that look on your face."</p><p>"What do you think about the whole Red and Novak moving in together thing?"</p><p>"I think it's great."</p><p>"Do you think it's too fast?"</p><p>"I think every relationship moves at their own pace. For Bea and Allie, this seems to be a good speed for them."</p><p>"What about us?"</p><p>I saw a sparkle in Gidge's eyes, "Franky Doyle, are you asking what I think you're asking?"</p><p>"Depends, would you say yes or no?"</p><p>"I would say, it seems like we've been living together since the moment you and I got together. I don't think we have spent more than a night apart."</p><p>"So?"</p><p>"Yes Franky, yes. I would love to move in with you."</p><p>I smiled and kissed her. She pulled back and looked at me, "So does that make us U-hauls too?"</p><p>"Absolutely not. We aren't even close."</p><p>"Sure." She smiled and kissed me again, "Come on baby, let's go to bed."</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. All I Need</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p><p>I opened my eyes to the sun coming through the window. I looked over to see Bea sleeping peacefully right beside me. I had to be the luckiest woman in the entire world. I have the woman of my dreams in bed with me. She looked so calm, I kissed her forehead and slowly got out of bed. I winced as I got up, I was a bit sore from last night but in a good way. I headed towards the bathroom and hoped into the shower. I stood under the water for a bit before I felt hands on my hips. I smiled and quickly turned around. "Good morning."</p><p>Bea kissed me, "Good morning beautiful girl."</p><p>"I didn't want to wake you."</p><p>"It's alright, I'm a light sleeper. I felt you get out of bed."</p><p>"Are you calling me fat?"</p><p>Bea laughed and shook her head, "As if. I felt your body heat leave me. I don't like staying in bed without you."</p><p>I kissed her and moved my head to the side when she moved to suck on my neck. When she started to palm my breast, that soreness suddenly went away and was replaced by arousal. She nipped my ear and whispered, "Turn around."</p><p>I turned so I was facing the wall and she pressed herself up against me. She moved her hand up my leg and started to tease me. I looked back at her, "Is this getting you wet?"</p><p>"You have no idea."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was cooking some breakfast for me and Gidge before I went in to check how things were going at the restaurant. I wasn't planning on staying long but just to offer some help and support if needed. "Alright spunky, I'm off. I shouldn't be gone for long." I kissed her. I walked out to my car and it wasn't turning on, "For fucks sake." I went back inside. </p><p>"You were right, you didn't take long at all." Bridget joked. </p><p>"My cars buggered."</p><p>"Let me go check." Gidge stood up and walked to the driveway. She lifted the top and told me to turn it over. </p><p>I tried turning the car on and it ran for a bit and turned off. "It's probably the battery."</p><p>Gidge shook her head. "That whining sound and the fact that it turned off pretty soon after, it's probably your alternator baby. Give me a sec." Gidge went back inside and brought out some box looking thing. </p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"A voltmeter, just to check the battery voltage. If it's 13 or higher, then your alternator is fine. If it's lower than 12, it isn't." She connected it to the battery and the number 10 popped up. "Alternator. You need a new one. I have a mate who runs a shop not too far from here but he's closed on Sunday's. I'll give him a call tomorrow morning."</p><p>I gave her a weird look, "How the fuck do you know all this?"</p><p>"My father was obsessed with cars. As I got older he made me learn everything from how to check for dead batteries, alternators, starters, flat tires. The man would not let me drive on my own until I could do it all by myself. I guess he was afraid that if anything happened I'd be stranded in the middle of nowhere not knowing what to do."</p><p>"Gidge, I think I just fell in love with you all over again." I kissed her and smacked her ass, "You looked hot as fuck bending over the car."</p><p>She laughed and pulled away from me, "Let me go get my keys. I'll drive you to work. I'll wait for you."</p><p>I watched her go inside while I put the top down, locked the car and waited for her to get back. She drove me to work while trying to push me away, "Franky I'm driving."</p><p>I grinned as I moved my hand a little higher, "I'm not doing anything Gidget."</p><p>She looked over at me quickly and bit her lip, "Franky..."</p><p>It was one of the rare occasions where Gidge was wearing a dress, it was a simple summery kind of dress but now all I wanted was to take it off of her. I moved my hand to the hem of her underwear. I saw her struggle to focus on the road. "Behave Franky."</p><p>"Or what?" I grinned.</p><p>We got to the parking lot of the restaurant and Bridget quickly turned the car off, took off her seatbelt, and pulled me into a kiss. I kept my hand on her thigh and I moaned when she did that think with her tongue that drove me insane. She pulled back suddenly and moved back to her side, "Okay, have a good day. I'll be here."</p><p>"What? No, you can't just leave me high and dry Gidge."</p><p>"I told you to behave, but you seem to struggle on your restraint."</p><p>"Aww Gidge no fair." I leaned towards her, "I need you."</p><p>She leaned in, I thought she was going to kiss me but instead she whispered in my ear, "The longer you stay in the car, the longer it'll be before we get back home. I told you to behave Franky, now go inside and do as your told."</p><p>I groaned and kissed her quickly, "Fine."</p><p>"Good girl."</p><p>I felt shivers up my spine and practically ran inside to the restaurant. I couldn't wait to get back home. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie and I were enjoying a late brunch due to our inability to keep out hands off of each other. I never thought I'd see a day in which all I wanted was to be with someone so intimately, I loved Allie's kisses, her touch. </p><p>"What time is Debbie done at the shelter?" Allie asked.</p><p>"She's usually done around 4. Kaz offered to bring her home but I'm going to go pick her up. She'll probably be famished after so we'll pick something up to eat." I washed the dishes in the sink and went to go change into some work out gear. </p><p>I came out and Allie looked at me, "Where are you going?"</p><p>"Nowhere, I'm going to the garage to work out."</p><p>Allie nodded and I went to the garage. She walked in after a couple of minutes and sat down on the work bench. </p><p>"You could work out too instead of just sitting there gawking at me." </p><p>"Not as fun. I like watching you work out. You look tough, strong, hot, sweaty." Allie bit her lip. </p><p>I rolled my eyes and kept going. Some more time passed and I sat on the weight bench and started using the dumbbells. I was concentrated on my form but was soon distracted by a certain blonde who decided to move and sit directly behind me. "Allie."</p><p>"Bea." She teased.</p><p>"I'm trying to work out."</p><p>"I'm not stopping you. I just wanted to get a closer look is all."</p><p>I scoffed and kept going. She moved her hands around my waist and kissed my neck. </p><p>"Allie I'm sweaty. "</p><p>"And hot."</p><p>"You're distracting me."</p><p>"Nah babe, I'm motivating you."</p><p>I grinned and tried to keep going but she wrapped her legs around me.</p><p>"You are relentless."</p><p>Allie grinned and kissed my neck again. She pressed herself even closer to me and started to lift up my shirt. She kissed my neck and I dropped the dumbbell on the floor. I let myself fall into her and moaned as her hands traveled up to cup my breasts. Allie was going to be the absolute death of me.</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>Franky had texted me she would be out soon. I decided to go inside because it was getting a little hot in the car. I walked into the restaurant and said hello to Liz. I texted Franky that I was going to sit at the bar and wait for her, I ordered a drink.</p><p>Someone came by and asked if the seat next to me was taken. I recognized the voice almost immediately and my eyes shot up. "Andrea?"</p><p>She smiled and sat down, "Hey Bridget. How've you been?"</p><p>I looked around to see if Franky was nearby, I saw her from where I was sitting, she was still in the kitchen. "Uh, I've been good yeah. How have you been?"</p><p>"I've been alright. Could be better."</p><p>"Sorry to hear that." I cleared my throat and went to take another sip of my drink. </p><p>"What, no shrink talk? You're not going to ask me why I could be better?"</p><p>"If you're asking why I didn't ask I'm assuming it's because you want to tell me."</p><p>Andrea grinned, "There it is. I kind of missed your shrink talk."</p><p>"You complained about it all the time."</p><p>"What's that saying, you only miss something when it's gone."</p><p>"Something like that."</p><p>"Well I do miss your shrink talk, but I also miss you Bridget. Couldn't believe my luck when I was sitting over there having lunch and I saw you walking in."</p><p>I forced a smile, "Andrea-"</p><p>She grabbed my hand, "Bridget I fucked up, I know that. I have regretted it every single day since you and I broke up. I was selfish and only cared about myself and what I wanted. I didn't give you enough time and I got frustrated. I shouldn't have taken it out on you and I've been working on myself and learning to have more patience. I have picked the phone a million times to call you but I chickened out every time. But seeing you here today, it just showed me that maybe you and I were meant to find each other again."</p><p>"Andrea, I'm not-"</p><p>"I know I did and said a lot of horrible things. But you made me a better person Bridget, I would give anything for you to forgive me and for us to try again."</p><p>I shook my head, "Andrea, I'm seeing somebody." I slowly removed my hand from under hers. </p><p>"Oh, I'm sorry I guess I just assumed that you were single."</p><p>"I was for a while but I met somebody, I'm waiting for her now."</p><p>"What's she like?"</p><p>I grimaced internally, I knew what she was doing. Even though Andrea cheated on me, ironically, she was insanely jealous. She freaked out if I spoke to other women, she swore that something was going on between me and Vera. She saw a picture of one of my previous exes and made me throw it out. I knew that if I spoke about Franky she'd try her best to hit below the belt. "Andrea, let's not do this." I stood up and was ready to leave but she grabbed my hand. </p><p>"Bridget wait-"</p><p>"Hey Gidge, you ready to go?" Franky had emerged and seemed to be trying to figure out what was going on. </p><p>"Uh yeah." I pulled my hand out of Andrea's grasp. </p><p>"I'm Andrea." Andrea put her hand out and I saw Franky go to shake it. </p><p>"Franky."</p><p>"So, I'm assuming that makes you the girlfriend."</p><p>Franky nodded, "Yeah, that's me."</p><p>Andrea smirked while looking Franky up and down. Andrea pulled a piece of paper out and wrote something on it. She put it in my hand while kissing me on the cheek, "Give me a call Bridget, once this is over." She winked at me and walked back to her table. </p><p>I put the piece of paper in my drink, put some money on the counter, grabbed Franky's hand and quickly walked to the car. </p><p>"Gidge, slow down fuck." </p><p>I got in the car and closed my eyes. </p><p>"Gidge who the fuck was that?"</p><p>"Andrea."</p><p>Franky waited for more of an explanation. </p><p>"My ex."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was practically struggling to get out the door because Allie wouldn't stop trying to get me to stay. I had to take another shower after my workout and she continued to distract me at every turn. The worst part was that I liked it, I loved having sex with Allie and never got sick of it. She was pushing me against the counter and trying to get me to get on top of it. I was already late picking Debbie up but I couldn't get enough. I moaned in her mouth. I made a time out gesture, "Time time time time, time out I need to go. I need to-" I kissed her again. "I have to go. And this time it's not an excuse I really need to go." </p><p>I started to walk out the door and she pushed me up against it. "Just 20 more seconds."</p><p>I couldn't say no to her, "Okay, 10." We kissed again.</p><p>"You know, I could just come with you, continue this in the car."</p><p>I laughed, "You're kidding, we would never leave the driveway. I will be right back I promise. I need to pick Deb up and go get some food. And you are just sat bad as she is. You'll both be hungry."</p><p>"You're right, I'm starving." She kissed me roughly and I moaned again. </p><p>"I'll be right back." I kissed her quickly and ran out of the house. </p><p>I arrived at the shelter shortly after and texted Debbie I was outside. She came to the car and kissed my cheek, "Should I ask why you're late?"</p><p>"Do you want to know?" I asked with a grin.</p><p>"Gross, no I don't." She laughed.</p><p>"Hungry?"</p><p>"Do you want to know?" She asked back.</p><p>I laughed and we decided on getting burgers. We got our orders and were on our way home when Debbie said she had forgotten that she needed some fruit for her smoothies. I drove to the closest store and asked if she wanted me to get down to get them.</p><p>"No it's alright. I'll get down. Plus, I can buy some candy while I'm at it." She grinned. </p><p>I rolled my eyes and handed her my card. When she went in I closed my eyes for a minute. After about 5 I saw her walking out and got ready to turn the car on when I saw a woman approach Debbie. Usually I would have taken it to be someone selling something but something in the way Debbie reacted worried me. I got out and walked over, "Deb, you alright?"</p><p>The woman turned around and Debbie walked over to me, she grabbed my hand and pulled it, "Let's go home mom."</p><p>I turned to look back at the woman who put her hand out, "Hi, I'm Marie."</p><p>I looked at the woman in front of me and felt the air leave my body. This was Marie, Marie Winter. I didn't shake her hand and kept looking at her. I looked at Deb and gave her the car keys, "Go wait in the car."</p><p>"Mom." Deb protested. </p><p>"Now, Deb." I waited for her to walk to the car and get in. I looked back at Marie and looked her up and down. "I thought you would have given it a rest already but it seems as if you like going around looking for young girls to be alone in order to make your move."</p><p>"I'm sorry do I know you?"</p><p>"No, but I know you." I moved towards her, "If you ever talk to my daughter or Allie again I will fucking destroy you. You may not know who I am, and you shouldn't want to. I know exactly what you do and I will never give you the opportunity to hurt Allie again or go near my daughter again."</p><p>"I don't know what Allie told you-"</p><p>"She told me everything, what you did and who you are. Kaz told me too."</p><p>Marie rolled her eyes, "Karen is delusional. You ask any of my girls, I have never mistreated any of them. Karen Proctor likes to go around like some guardian angel protecting people who don't need it. You ask Allie how many times she pushed her away before Karen finally manipulated her."</p><p>"You have completely distorted the truth to fit your narrative haven't you? I get it, everyone's the protagonist in their own story, but the fact that you can't even see it does worry me. I meant what I said Marie, you leave my family alone." I walked away and got in the car, I was practically shaking. I looked over at Deb, "Do me a favor, can you drive home?"</p><p>Debbie nodded and we switched spots. She drove home and we got out. Allie was all smiles when she saw us, "Finally, I thought you guys forgot about me." She noticed my demeanor, "What is it?"</p><p>Debbie spoke for me, "We saw Marie. Mom spoke to her."</p><p>Allie looked at me and at Debbie. "What happened? What did she say? Did she hurt either of you?"</p><p>I shook my head, "She spoke to Debbie and then I went out to talk to her. I didn't know it was Marie at first."</p><p>Allie looked at Debbie, "What did she say to you?"</p><p>"She introduced herself to me, asked for my name, asked about you. Then mom busted through like a superhero and told me to go to the car."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "She tried to tell me that she was always good to her girls, that Kaz was delusional and you had the wrong idea of her."</p><p>"What did you say?"</p><p>"I told her to stuff that explanation where the sun don't shine." </p><p>Allie smiled, "That's my girl." She came over to kiss me and hug Debbie. "I'm sorry you guys."</p><p>"It's not your fault." Debbie said. "And not to ruin a cute moment, but can we eat."</p><p>Allie and I laughed and I nodded, "Yes, go get cleaned up. I think the scare actually made me hungry too."</p><p>Debbie went to the bathroom and Allie pulled me into a hug. "Are you okay?"</p><p>I nodded, "It was just" I sighed "unexpected, I guess. Finally seeing her in the flesh, I had only heard legends about her."</p><p>Allie laughed. </p><p>"I had to make sure I put her in her place. No one messed with my girls."</p><p>Allie kissed me, "Everyday you give me more and more reasons to love you."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge and I got home and I was still trying to put everything together. I had seen her talking to someone at the bar but I thought it was just a quick conversation. Then I saw they were still talking. Bridget had gotten up and the woman had grabbed her hand. Bridget didn't look uncomfortable but she didn't seem happy. When I went over and she introduced herself, there was this smugness about her I didn't like. </p><p>Gidge went to pour herself a glass of wine, "I'm sorry about Andrea Franky, she's just a bit much sometimes."</p><p>"How did you two meet?"</p><p>Gidge looked at me, "At a bar. She was very convincing, bold."</p><p>"Yeah I got that." I sat down on the couch frustrated. I don't know what upset me more, the way she acted towards me, the way she acted like she still had Gidge, or how beautiful she was. I wasn't blind, she was hot, I would have hit on her if I saw her out somewhere too. But she looked at me like I was nothing compared to her. </p><p>Gidge sat down next to me, "Baby, don't take her attitude seriously. She's cocky because she has to be, she's a barrister. She has to be arrogant."</p><p>I frowned and moved away from Gidge's touch. "She's pretty."</p><p>"Yes, she is. Why does that matter?"</p><p>I shrugged, "I don't know, maybe because she knows it."</p><p>"Which means what?"</p><p>"You saw the way she looked at me Gidge, like I was beneath her, I've gotten that look before. People take one look at me, the tattoos, and walk all over me. She's beautiful and a fucking lawyer. I'm just some cook with a bad past. You heard her, she said to call her once this was over. This as in you and me. I'm nothing compared to her."</p><p>"Look at me." Gidge grabbed my hand, "Franky, look at me."</p><p>I met her eyes. </p><p>"You are the most amazing woman I've ever met. You aren't nothing, you are everything to me. Yes, Andrea is beautiful but she's also selfish and mean. You are the most caring person I've ever known, you put everybody else over yourself. You spent years protecting your best friend, you offer help to anyone who needs it. You make me want to be a better person. Jobs are just that, jobs. You don't mean any less just because you don't have a job like being a lawyer or a doctor. You aren't just a chef, you own your own restaurant and employ several people who count on you. Your tattoos don't make you any less of a person, they're important to you, they mean something to you. I for one think they're really fucking hot, just like I think you're really hot." She moved her hand so it was on my thigh. "I think you're beautiful and you did the one thing that Andrea failed to do, you make me happy Franky. I don't think I've ever been happier with anyone else in the world. You make me laugh, you treat me like the most important woman in the world, and you have loved me unconditionally, even after what I told you. Something Andrea couldn't, she saw me as broken, like what happened to me defined me. You haven't treated me any differently, I think you started to love me even more."</p><p>I turned to look at Gidge and I grabbed her face, "When you told me what happened to you, I couldn't stop thinking of how strong you were for overcoming it. Loving you isn't hard Bridget, it's the easiest thing I've ever had to do. I just, I'm afraid, that one day you'll wake up and feel like you wasted your time on someone who wasn't worth it. I mean Gidge, look at you and look at me. I still can't believe you said yes when I asked you out, when I asked you to be my girlfriend, when I asked you last night for us to move in together."</p><p>Gidge kissed me and moved so she was straddling my lap, "I will never ever wake up and regret waking up with you or feel like my time is being wasted. You have made me feel more alive in these past couple of months than I've had in years. I love you Francesca Doyle."</p><p>I made a face and she kissed me. "I love you too Bridget." I kissed her and moved my hands to cup her ass. "You're my dream girl, you know that? When I think of my happily ever after Gidge, I think of you." </p><p>"Oh yeah, and what does that happily ever after look like? Paint me a picture."</p><p>I thought about it and grinned, "A hot girl, in a hot car, and driving off into the sunset."</p><p>Gidge smiled and kissed me, "Looks like I need to get a new car."</p><p>I laughed and felt her push me so I was laying down, she kissed my neck and removed her dress. "Now, I'm going to show you exactly how much I love you baby."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>We all ate and then started getting ready for bed. I was already in bed by the time Bea came through. I patted the area close to me and she laughed. She cuddled up next to me and I kissed her forehead. "Thank you."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For defending my honor."</p><p>Bea laughed and kissed me, "You're the love of my life. What else did you expect me to do?"</p><p>I smiled and kissed her, "Good, because you're also the love of my life."</p><p>"I better be." </p><p>I laughed and kissed her again and we slowly fell asleep.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Pressure Point</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie and I were making breakfast while Debbie was getting ready for school. Allie kept touching my butt whenever she was close enough and would act like she wasn't doing anything. I tried to hide my blush when she quickly pressed herself against me trying to reach over to get something. "You are insatiable."</p><p>She kissed my cheek and winked at me. We dropped Debbie off at school and got to work together. I kissed Allie as I headed to the kitchen, "Alright baby, I'll see you later. Franky's coming in late today so I need to check with the staff make sure they're doing alright. And I've already had two waitresses call off so you guys might be a little shorthanded down here."</p><p>"You're so sexy when you're all serious."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and spoke to a couple of the cooks who said they'd be fine until Franky got there. One of the servers went up to see me telling me they weren't feeling well, bloody brilliant, just what I needed. I sent him home and looked around at the paperwork I had. I wasn't backed up and could just stay a little later to do it anything clerical wise if I had to. </p><p>I went into one of my drawers and pulled out a black waist apron. I removed my blazer and tightened the apron around me. I went downstairs and spoke to Liz about assigning me one of the sections and distributing the rest evenly around the rest of us. Allie walked over to me, "What's this?"</p><p>"You guys are going to be overworked and I can help, so I will."</p><p>She whispered into my ear, "You look hot."</p><p>"Get to work." I smiled. </p><p>She laughed and moved to her section. I spent the majority of that morning taking orders, giving people their food, repeat. It was nice to do something that didn't involve just my own thoughts. I could feel Allie's eyes watching me while I moved around. When it was about a quarter past twelve, I saw Franky come in, she saw me and laughed. I went over to her, "What?"</p><p>"You know I love you in your regular outfits. You didn't have to wear this for my benefit, you've got all my attention Red."</p><p>"Piss off Franky. We had some call offs so I had to fill in. And, as if I'd ever wear this for you."</p><p>"Apologies, I see the only person you ever dress up for is over there looking at us."</p><p>I smiled at the thought. </p><p>"You guys are disgusting."</p><p>"As if you and Bridget aren't as bad, spunky and baby?"</p><p>"Oi, get off it. She's my girl. Thanks for watching over things Red. Are you going to be down here all day?"</p><p>"Nah, I'll go back up after the change over."</p><p>Franky nodded and went towards the kitchen. I went back to serving the rest of my tables and was bringing back a card and the copy of someone's receipt. Allie was at the table in front of mine with her back facing me. The man I was giving the receipt back to was quite the jokester and made for interesting conversation, "Here is your card. Have a good day and I hope to see you back here soon."</p><p>"Absolutely, thank you for the great service Beatrice."</p><p>I shook my head, "Just Bea."</p><p>"Alright Bea, thank you for everything." He stood up, "You know I'm a frequent flier here and I've never see you before. But your expertise and great customer service makes me think you aren't new."</p><p>"Oh, I'm just helping out today, I'm not actually a waitress. I'm the manager."</p><p>"Very impressive, I admire a woman who's hands on."</p><p>I saw Allie's head shoot up and turn around. </p><p>"Well, I'll uh see you around." I said praying he'd start heading out not wanting Allie to say or do anything.</p><p>"Most definitely."</p><p>I walked away and moved to the next table. I know Allie, and I know she was going to take what he said to mean he was flirting. I think he was just being nice. I didn't mind talking to him but Allie wouldn't be happy about it. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I was sitting in the waiting room when Bridget walked through the front door of the clinic, "Kaz, I am so sorry to keep you waiting. Franky's car wouldn't turn on yesterday and we took it to get checked this morning."</p><p>"No worries, I didn't mind waiting. Allowed me to clear my head a bit."</p><p>"If you're clearing your head without my help, I might be losing a patient." She joked, "Come on."</p><p>We went to her office and she sat down, "Okay, so let's talk about those thoughts and what was making you want to clear your mind."</p><p>"It's nothing bad, just stuff. I thought the world would come crumbling down on me once I admitted it, but the days kept going and I wasn't as afraid."</p><p>"In my experience, when survivors of sexual assault or rape pretend something didn't happen or push it away, they think that will also make what happened just disappear. What happened to you isn't something you should be ashamed of. Before me, had you told anyone else?"</p><p>"I told Allie, not the whole thing but I did tell her. I told Bea too, I kind of blurted it out but she knows."</p><p>"What made you trust them enough to tell them specifically rather than other people in your life?"</p><p>I shrugged, "Allie's like a daughter to me. She knew something was up because I hated talking about my dad. I didn't tell her the whole story but she knows bits and pieces. I know about Bea's past, so I guess, even though part of me regretted saying it, I trusted her."</p><p>"Do you have any plans on telling Will?"</p><p>"I don't know. He's trained with dealing with women and children so he's aware something happened to me but telling him seems hard. We're at a really good place and I don't want him to see me any differently. Things will change if I tell him."</p><p>"Did Allie or Bea see you any differently?"</p><p>"That's different."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because I'm not in a relationship with Bea or Allie. I'm not trying to have sex with Bea or Allie. How can Will look at me or want to touch me once he knows?"</p><p>"Did Allie look at Bea any differently? Did she stop wanting to be with her?"</p><p>"No. But that's different."</p><p>"How is it different?"</p><p>"I don't know, it just is."</p><p>"Kaz, is it possible you're afraid to tell Will because you're afraid he might actually take it really well? Will has had years of experience, his perspective of you wouldn't change especially when it came to something that was out of your control."</p><p>I stood up and looked out the window. "Things are just starting to get really good. I feel relaxed with him. He finally got me to ride with him on his bike, something I've been terrified to do. I feel safe with Will, telling him could change everything. For the first time in my life, I feel happy and content with someone."</p><p>"With your previous relationship, did you ever tell him?"</p><p>I shook my head, "I couldn't. He wouldn't have understood, I'm sure of it. The only reason I gave in to finally sleeping with him was because he'd guilt trip me about it. He'd say I didn't care or some more than words crap."</p><p>"Kaz, you shouldn't feel forced to have to comply to what everyone else wants. If you aren't ready to tell Will, you don't have to. But, if even the smallest part of you wants to, don't shut that voice out."</p><p>"Look at me, worrying about what a man thinks of me, never thought I'd see the day."</p><p>Bridget smiled, "Love can do that to people."</p><p>"I'm not-I don't," I looked up at the ceiling.</p><p>"It's okay to say it, we've already established that the world is going to fall apart."</p><p>"God, we haven't even been together for that long. I don't even know if he feels the same way, he probably doesn't."</p><p>"And what if he does."</p><p>"Then he'd be a bigger idiot than me."</p><p>"Kaz, you need to have a little bit more faith, in all aspects of your and Will's relationship."</p><p>"Easier said than done doc."</p><p>"I agree."</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>After Kaz and I finished our session I walked her out, "Good work today Kaz."</p><p>"I'm nervous."</p><p>"It's not a race Kaz. It's not about how fast you get there, it's that you make it to the finish line. If you can't do it this week, there's always next."</p><p>Kaz nodded and thanked me. I said goodbye to her and stopped in my footsteps when I saw Andrea in the waiting room. "What are you doing here?"</p><p>"I came to see you."</p><p>"I'm working, I have patients."</p><p>"Actually your assistant told me that you have a free hour, so you aren't that busy."</p><p>"She shouldn't have told you that."</p><p>"Why? What, you aren't happy to see me?"</p><p>"No, I'm not. Andrea I don't know why you're here but I don't have time to talk so."</p><p>Andrea stood up and walked towards my office instead of the opposite way and out the door. I groaned and followed her to my office. I closed the door and crossed my arms as she made herself comfortable at my desk. "What do you want Andrea?"</p><p>"I thought I made that pretty clear yesterday. You didn't call me."</p><p>"I threw your number away, I didn't want it."</p><p>"Playing hard to get, just like old times."</p><p>"Andrea this isn't some fucking power play. I have a girlfriend that I love, who I am happy with."</p><p>"Bridget she is what, half your age? She doesn't even look like your type. You're just having a bit of fun, I get it. But she's not someone you stick with long term."</p><p>"And how would you know? You don't know a thing about Franky. She's fun yeah, but that's not why I'm with her. She has stuck by me in more ways than you ever had."</p><p>"And I've apologized for that. Bridget losing you is my biggest regret. If you would just give me the chance-"</p><p>"I'm not having this conversation with you anymore. We are over, we're done. I am in love with Franky and nothing you say will ever change that."</p><p>Andrea grinned, "This Franky, I've heard a lot about her, she's quite popular. I have a mate who I work with, another lawyer, Erica Davidson. Ever heard of her?"</p><p>"No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me."</p><p>"Her and Franky used to go out. Apparently Franky chased her and chased her until Erica gave in. She's a married woman and Franky knew that. Franky was apparently very hurt when it was over, she wrote her all kinds of letters begging her to come back, to leave her husband."</p><p>"What's your point Andrea? Unlike you, it doesn't nerve me that Franky had previous relationships with other women that she loved. So I'm still failing to see why any of this matters."</p><p>"It matters because, how can you be so sure that she still doesn't think about her? I still think about you. How do you know she still doesn't love her? I still love you." She got up and walked towards me, "How do you know she isn't thinking about her when she's fucking you? I think about you. How do you know-"</p><p>I cut her off, "I'm not discussing this with you anymore. Get out Andrea."</p><p>"I'm not trying to upset you Bridget. I just want you to know how I feel, how I still feel about you. Just think about it, please." She kissed my cheek and I closed the door on her way out. I sat down at my desk and put my head in between my hands. I can't let her get inside my head. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Once things slowed down and the change over happened, I went back upstairs. I took the apron off and massaged my neck. A pair of hands replaced mine and started to massage my neck and back. I moaned and let my head fall back onto Allie's shoulder. "That feels amazing."</p><p>She kissed my neck, "I bet I can make you feel even better." She started to unbutton my shirt. </p><p>"Allie..."</p><p>"You've been naughty Bea."</p><p>"I haven't."</p><p>"Flirting with that guy, letting him flirt with you."</p><p>"We were not flirting he was being nice."</p><p>Her hand had moved to massage my breast and I felt my breathing pick up. Allie began to nip my ear, "Put your hands on the desk."</p><p>I did as I was told and Allie pulled my shirt off. She bit my shoulder and unzipped my pants. Her hand traveled from my breast to my stomach, down my pants. I was so wet already. Allie grabbed my hair and pulled me into a kiss while she roughly pushed her fingers inside of me. She wasted no time in getting me closer to the edge. "You need to learn the you are mine Bea. No man, no woman should ever even look at you the way I do."</p><p>I moaned and closed my eyes as Allie kept talking. With each pump she said, "I...am...better...than...all...of...them."</p><p>"Fuck." I held back the scream in my throat and came. </p><p>Allie turned me around and kept moving her fingers. She pushed me so I was sitting on the desk. "Say it, say you're mine."</p><p>I couldn't think straight, I was close again. "Allie..please."</p><p>"Say it."</p><p>"I'm yours, I'm all yours please Allie."</p><p>She pulled me into a kiss while I had my second orgasm. </p><p>"You're too good at that."</p><p>"I don't work alone babe." She kissed me again and kissed the top of my breast. "Let's go home. I love hot office sex but I love having you sprawled out onto the bed even more."</p><p>"I can't baby, I have office work to do. I put it aside to help downstairs. I might be a little late tonight."</p><p>Allie pouted. I kissed her, "I'm sorry. Look, how about I make it up to you later tonight, in bed." I kissed her cheek and she smiled. </p><p>"Fine. I can make dinner tonight."</p><p>"I'd love that. See you at home." She kissed me and was about to walk out. I went to put my shirt back on. </p><p>"Oh, um I was thinking of starting to move my stuff in later on this week, on the days I'm not working."</p><p>"Do you want me to take some time off to help?"</p><p>"Nah, Kaz and Will have already offered., I'll be alright." </p><p>"Okay, I'll see you at home." I kissed her and went to sit at my desk. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I was trying to read over some reports while sitting on my couch but Will kept distracting me. "Cut it out."</p><p>"I'm not doing anything." He kissed my cheek and kept turning the papers over. </p><p>"You are worse than a little kid."</p><p>"Come on, pay attention to me." He wrapped her arms round my waist and brought me closer to him. He moved me so I was straddling his lap and kissing him. His hands were on my sides. I pulled back slowly and looked at him. "What is it?"</p><p>"I think...I need to tell you something."</p><p>He nodded. I put my hands on his face. "I-I don't know how to say it without fearing you'll change the way you see me."</p><p>He grabbed my hands and kissed them, "Kaz, nothing you say will ever do that."</p><p>I sighed and looked down, "I-when I was a kid, something happened to me. I've held onto it for a long time. It's made it hard for me to trust people, men in particular. That's why I freaked out when you tried to touch me the first time and why I still have trouble allowing myself to relax enough to finally sleep with you."</p><p>He nodded, "Kaz, you know it doesn't bother me that we haven't had sex yet. Just being near you, being able to kiss you and make you smile is enough for me. Whatever happened to you as a kid doesn't define you."</p><p>"I know that, Bridget has made sure to continually remind me. It's just that, this wasn't a stranger who did it to me, or some perv across the street." I took a deep breath, I got off of him and moved to the kitchen counter. "It was my dad."</p><p>I was waiting to hear the door open and close but instead I felt myself being turned around to face him. He grabbed my face forcing me to look at him. He kissed my forehead and hugged me. I started to cry and he just held me. I felt this wave of relief come through, I felt free.</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>"Spunky, I'm home." I kissed Gidge who was working on her laptop. </p><p>"Hi baby." Gidge kissed me back and stood up, she went to refill her glass of wine. "You'll never believe who came to see me at work today."</p><p>"Who?" </p><p>"Andrea."</p><p>"No fucking way."</p><p>"And she mentioned some very interesting comments about you."</p><p>"No fucking way, like what?" I took my jacket and shoes off. </p><p>"Erica Davidson." </p><p>I felt my heart stop, I hadn't thought about Erica in months. "Gidge listen Erica and I that was another life ago and I swear-" </p><p>Gidge had walked over to me and kissed me. "Franky, I'm not mad. You are allowed to have past lovers and girlfriends. I know what Andrea was trying to do. She almost succeeded too."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"She tried telling me that you were still in love with Erica, that when you were with me you were still thinking of her."</p><p>"Gidge that is total bullshit. I haven't thought of anyone else since you and I started going out."</p><p>"Franky, I know that. Andrea was just trying to play on my insecurities, insecurities that she helped create."</p><p>"I'll kill her."</p><p>"No you will not. You will take me to bed and make love to me, and if you're good, I'll let you hold me afterwards."</p><p>I grinned, "I can live with that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. The Simple Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV </p><p>I woke up in Will's arms, I looked at him to see he still had his eyes closed. I smiled and kissed his cheek. I went to get up but felt the grasp tighten around my waist pulling me back into him, "Where do you think you're going?"</p><p>"Getting ready for work. which you should be doing too."</p><p>He hugged my tighter, "Not yet, 5 more minutes." He kissed me and looked at me, "How are you?"</p><p>"Okay, little better thanks to you."</p><p>"Anytime." Will kissed me again and started to play with my hair. "I have an idea."</p><p>"Uh-oh."</p><p>"Piss off," he laughed. "What if we pulled a sickie?"</p><p>"We aren't in school, we can't just call in sick."</p><p>"Yes we can," he faked a cough, "not feeling too well."</p><p>I put the back of my hand on his forehead, "Oh yeah, you feel a little warm."</p><p>He grinned while continuing to bring me closer to him, "And seeing as you and I spent the night together, you could also be sick. Better be safe than sorry, you should tell them we aren't coming in."</p><p>"Didn't know you were a doctor."</p><p>"I have various talents, like being able to make a killer breakfast. If you pull a sickie with me, I'll grace you the with honor to try it."</p><p>I laughed and kissed him, "Very intriguing offer, how could a girl turn that down?"</p><p>He jumped out of bed, "Make that call. And you are mine for the rest of the day, no excuses. Now off to make my girlfriend breakfast." </p><p>I smiled as I saw him leave the room. He was so understanding last night, he sat with me and let me talk through it. Bridget was right, there was nothing to be afraid of.</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie was kissing me while pushing me onto the desk.</p><p>"We've got to stop meeting this way Bea."</p><p>"Allie, go downstairs."</p><p>"I need you."</p><p>"You had me an hour ago."</p><p>"I need more." She kissed me again while I smiled into the kiss.</p><p>"Allie, we can't keep making this a habit. Sex in my office."</p><p>Allie pouted, "Why not? It's fun."</p><p>"Allie, go downstairs now."</p><p>"Make me."</p><p>I kissed her roughly and heard her moan. We separated when we heard a whistle from the doorway. "Oi, save some for me." Franky laughed. </p><p>"Piss off Franky." I got down from the desk and kissed Allie again, "Go to work, I love you."</p><p>"Love you too babe. Hello Franky."</p><p>"Oh don't go now Novak, it looked like it was about to get interesting."</p><p>Allie nudged Franky and left my office. </p><p>"You two seem happy." Franky grinned.</p><p>"We were until we were interrupted."</p><p>Franky made a gesture like I had shot her. I rolled my eyes and sat down. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure."</p><p>"I was just letting you know that I have to step out for an hour or two around noon if that's all right with you."</p><p>"Sure, is everything all right?"</p><p>"All good, just something I gotta take care of. Thanks red."</p><p>I nodded. I wondered what was so important to make Franky leave work for a while. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I made sure that I had left everything prepared so the other chefs weren't overwhelmed with my departure. I just needed a couple of hours to get this done. After it was time to go, I drove until I was near the courthouse. I looked at the address I had written down and saw some buildings across. I walked over to the corresponding address and walked into a law firm. I went to the secretary and said I was there to see Andrea Craig. She asked if I had an appointment, I said I didn't. That I didn't mind waiting, that I was here to discuss Bridget Westfall. </p><p>I waited about 15 minutes before she walked out. I could tell she had never expected I would ever show up. She seemed unsure of what to do, I internally smirked.</p><p>"Franky right?"</p><p>"Yeah. Let's talk."</p><p>"I'm pretty busy right now-"</p><p>"You sure had a lot to say on Sunday. Come on, let's do this."</p><p>"Franky, I don't think it's a good idea."</p><p>"Why, because Gidge isn't here to come between us? Not so bold now huh. I have no problem making a scene Andrea."</p><p>She looked around and nodded. I followed her to her office and waited as she shut the door. "Look Franky-"</p><p>"Nah. It's my turn to speak. I know what you think of me, but I will have you know that I may not be some hot shot lawyer, but I do have things to bring to the table. I'm not going to waste my time naming those things off but I also won't have you continually harassing Gidge."</p><p>"Gidge? Cute." She replied with sarcasm. </p><p>I got closer to her, "I'm not here to start a fight with you Andrea."</p><p>"Then why are you here?"</p><p>"Because I want you to stay away from Bridget. She and I are happy and she doesn't need you coming in trying to fuck shit up."</p><p>"If me going to visit Bridget bothered her, she could have come and told me. She didn't have to send her body guard to do her work."</p><p>"She didn't send me to do anything. I'm here under my own volition. And I am sick and tired of you acting like you matter anymore. You're over, old news."</p><p>Andrea rolled her eyes. </p><p>"I mean if I remember correctly, it was my name she was screaming last night and this morning. She was begging me to fuck her harder, begging me to let her cum. Telling me I was the best she ever had while I had my fingers deep inside of her. She screamed that she loved me while I bent my fingers in just the right place and made her lose her mind."</p><p>I saw Andrea's smile fall. </p><p>"Now, I am not asking you, I am telling you, stay away from us. Or, I will snap you like a twig." I smiled at her, "Have a nice day. Oh and mentioning Erica was a dick move, but you're a cunt so what else should I have expected." </p><p>I left her office and went to my car. I drove to Gidge's clinic and asked her secretary if she was busy. She said no and so I decided to go in. Her door was slightly open and she was bending down to pick something up. I snuck in and lightly slapped her ass. Her head shot up and her face relaxed when she saw me, "Franky, what are you doing here."</p><p>"I came to see my girl." I went over to kiss her and heard her moan when I pushed her up against her desk. </p><p>"Franky, I am at work."</p><p>"I know you're free right now." I started to pull at her shirt. </p><p>"Franky..."</p><p>I kissed her neck and made sure she was sitting on her desk before dropping to my knees. I kissed up her leg and threw it over my shoulder. I saw her throw her head back as soon as I started to kiss her inner thighs. "Franky-stop teasing."</p><p>I smiled and winked at her, "Be careful what you wish for Gidge."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>"Come on, you liked it last time."</p><p>"I never said I liked it enough to do it again. Plus I thought pulling a sickie meant staying in bed." I said trying to push off the idea of getting on his bike again. </p><p>"What's the fun in that. Pulling a sick day means you go and do all the things you wouldn't have been able to because you're at work or at school."</p><p>"You can go on your bike any day of the week."</p><p>"Sure, but this is the only time you won't give me an excuse because you have work or something. Please." He kissed me over and over again until I agreed again. </p><p>"Okay okay, God you're persistent."</p><p>"It's my best trait."</p><p>I laughed and he kissed me again. "I'll drive to my place and go pick up the bike. I won't be long. I'll be right back." He kissed me before leaving and I couldn't help but feel sad he was leaving, even it it was only for a little bit. He texted me almost half an hour later that he was outside. I wore black jeans, a grey shirt, and a black leather jacket. Will turned the bike off and went to kiss me, "You look great, see you fit already. Now, remember, hold on tight, don't let go. I got you."</p><p>I nodded and put the helmet on. He got on the bike and I followed wrapping my arms around him. He put his hand on top of mine and then we rode off. I did like going on his bike but it just scared me, the chances of us getting in an accident, one of us getting hurt, he could lose control. He drove to Melbourne Star. He helped me off the bike, "Come on, let's walk around."</p><p>I think this was the first time that I felt happy to be out with someone like this, holding hands and laughing. Will made me feel things I could never imagine I would feel. We got on the Ferris wheel and spent that time talking and kissing. We stayed until a little after sundown and he drove us back to my apartment. He walked me up and kissed me at the doorway, "I should get going. I'll uh see you tomorrow. I think I'm feeling a bit better so I'll make it to work."</p><p>I smiled and pulled him into a kiss, "Stay, please."</p><p>"You know I can't say no to you."</p><p>"Good, because I really want you to stay. I'd like to go to sleep and wake up in the arms of the man I love."</p><p>"You love me huh?" He pushed me up against the door kissing me deeply. "Good, because I love you too. I was just afraid to say it because it'd kill me to not hear it back."</p><p>"Well, now you don't have to worry, because I love you Will."</p><p>He kissed me and I opened the door to my apartment. I took his hand at lead him to the bedroom, I sat him down on the bed. I kissed him again and took my jacket off. I moved to take my shirt off and I straddled him. He kissed me and looked me in my eyes, "Kaz, we don't have to do this if you aren't ready."</p><p>"I want this. I'm not afraid of you, I trust you."</p><p>He moved us so that I was laying on the bed. He took his jacket, shirt, and jeans off. He kissed my neck and moved down to kiss my stomach. He unbuttoned my pants and slowly pulled them down. He kissed me and looked me in my eyes with hints of fear, "I don't want to hurt you."</p><p>I ran my fingers through his hair, "I know. But you won't. I trust you."</p><p>He nodded before kissing me again. I let myself get lost in the moment, and for the first time in my life, I wasn't thinking of pain or hurt. I was thinking of Will and the love I have for him. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I got home to Debbie and Allie making a mess in the kitchen trying to make dinner but failing horribly. "We were trying to help." Debbie said. </p><p>"Oh yeah, big help. Go get cleaned up, I'll whip something up real quick." I said kissing Deb on the head. </p><p>Allie had that look on her face like she had been caught doing something wrong, "And you, you're meant to be the adult."</p><p>"I am, but Debbie is very persuasive."</p><p>"Mmhmm." I kissed her and went to start cleaning and cooking. </p><p>"So tomorrow, I'm meeting Will and Kaz at the shelter around 1 so we can head to my place and start picking up some of my stuff."</p><p>"Good. I'm excited to have you officially moved in."</p><p>"Me too." Allie put her arms around me and kissed me. "And now you're stuck with me forever because once I move all my stuff in its a done deal babe. I have no plans of moving again."</p><p>"I guess I'm stuck with you then."</p><p>"Oi, don't make it sound like a bad thing."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her. </p><p>"I was promised food not kissing in the kitchen, get a room." Debbie interrupted. </p><p>"Be careful what you wish for Deb, walls don't hide sounds." Allie grinned. </p><p>"You guys are disgusting. I think I just threw up in my mouth."</p><p>"Oh so you aren't hungry anymore?" I asked.</p><p>"I didn't say that."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and went to start cooking. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>After Franky's impromptu visit to my office, my day was definitely looking up. I looked forward to going home and seeing Franky. She was cooking and dancing and I went over to kiss her, "You're definitely in a good mood."</p><p>"What's not to be happy about Gidge. I got a great girl, a great life, and Andrea will no longer be an issue."</p><p>"Woah, what does that mean?"</p><p>Franky tried averting her eyes from me.</p><p>"Oh what did you do? Franky, please tell me you didn't kill her."</p><p>"Nah Gidge, I just went to have a chat with her is all."</p><p>"Franky, what did you say to her?"</p><p>"I just told her that I didn't admire her arrogance and that I would be deeply appreciative if she'd stop bothering you."</p><p>"In those exact words?"</p><p>Franky made a face, "maybe not those exact words-"</p><p>"Oh Franky!"</p><p>"Gidge I'm sorry but she needed to know that I wasn't going to let her just walk all over me or us. I needed to make sure she knew that you're mine."</p><p>She pulled me close to her and kissed me. "You didn't start any fights did you?"</p><p>"Nah, I swear. Although I did make sure to tell her that no one can make you scream the way I do."</p><p>I blushed and kissed her, "Well, you might be right about that."</p><p>She gave me that cheeky grin, "Come on, let's eat Spunky."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will and I were wrapped up into each other covered in a blanket. He was kissing my forehead and I had my eyes closed. He was gentle, kind. It hurt at first but he went at a pace that made me feel comfortable. It was nice, I was never able to enjoy myself when having sex, but I did when I was with Will. "Are you alright?"</p><p>I looked up at him, "Never been better."</p><p>"So, playing sickie turned out to be more fun than you expected huh?"</p><p>I grinned and kissed him, "Thank you."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For everything. For chasing me, for pushing me, for loving me."</p><p>He kissed me, "I never though I'd fall in love again. Meg was my one chance you know? And then I met you, and you were so pushy and filled with fire. No one could tell you anything. Part of me told me to leave it alone, that you would never be interested in someone like me. But I just couldn't, something kept bringing me to you. I didn't care how long it took, I was going to make you want me the way I wanted you."</p><p>"Didn't take long did it. You sucked me in, you barged in and completely changed my life for the better. I don't think I would have gotten help if it weren't for you. You gave me something to fight for."</p><p>"Now that I've gotten to know every single part of you, you're kind of stuck with me Kaz."</p><p>"Oh bugger, right when I was about to make a run for it."</p><p>"Yeah right." He kissed me while I laughed. </p><p>"I'd be a fool to let you go."</p><p>He made a face and checked my forehead, "Maybe you are sick."</p><p>I smacked his arm and laughed, "shut up."</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Moving Pieces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea was making Deb some breakfast and I had decided to stay in bed a little longer. Bea came back to the bedroom and asked if I was hungry. </p><p>"Famished." I pulled her down to the bed and kissed her. She was waiting on Deb to get out of the shower so she could go in. I toyed with the knot on her robe while kissing her jaw.</p><p>"Allie, Debbie will be out of the shower soon."</p><p>"Then we'll move it to the shower."</p><p>Bea kissed me and I moved us so she was laying on the bed and I was on top of her. </p><p>"Allie I need to get ready for work."</p><p>"But the shower isn't ready, and you and I both know how long Debbie takes. I'd reckon you and I have some time before she comes out."</p><p>"Allie..."</p><p>I kissed her and moved my hand up her leg. "Come on Bea, I know you wanna." I started to rub circles around her clit and I saw her roll her eyes to the back of her head and bite her lip. </p><p>"Allie...please."</p><p>She wrapped her leg around me as I started to slowly move. We were both so caught up in the moment that we didn't even think to double check that the door was fully closed and locked. </p><p>"Mom the shower is-oh okay um." Debbie had come in and we horribly tried to cover up what we had been doing. </p><p>I tried to save Bea the embarrassment, "Deb we were just-"</p><p>"Look um shower is ready and I'm going to the kitchen to burn my eyes off."</p><p>Bea covered her face in complete humiliation. "Oh my God, I cannot believe that happened."</p><p>"She knows we have sex Bea."</p><p>"That doesn't mean she needs to see it. Oh God, I cannot believe this."</p><p>"Go take a shower, I'll talk to her."</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Go."</p><p>Bea grabbed her stuff and quickly went to the bathroom. I walked out to the kitchen and watched Debbie as she ate her breakfast.</p><p>"Sorry kiddo."</p><p>"Can we not talk about this?"</p><p>"Nothing would make me happier. But I know your mom is going to want to-"</p><p>"Look, let's just pretend that nothing has happened. I'll completely forget about it and we can all move on."</p><p>"Copy that over and out."</p><p>She put her dishes in the sink, "And just for the love of God, close the door next time. It's bad enough hearing you guys at night, I don't need to see it too."</p><p>"Sorry Deb, but I did warn you walls don't hide sounds."</p><p>"You are the worst. I hate you so much." Debbie made a face like she was gagging. </p><p>I laughed when she threw a towel at me. </p><p>Bea finished getting ready quickly after and her and Debbie were off. I kissed Bea on the cheek and whispered, "She's agreed to forget it ever happened. Have a good day babe."</p><p>Bea made a face of embarrassment and I kissed her again. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Deb and I drove I silence until I dropped her off at school. I put the car in park and before she jumped out the car I grabbed her hand, "Debbie I'm sorry about this morning I-"</p><p>"Mom, forget it really. Please. I'm trying to, I'm considering electro shock therapy to get those image out of my head."</p><p>I shoved her shoulder and she laughed, "Mom, I'm happy you and Allie are happy just please close the door next time."</p><p>"I will, I'm sorry."</p><p>"No worries mom. I just can't believe you have a better sex life than I do."</p><p>"You shouldn't be having a sex life."</p><p>"I don't mom, I was just saying."</p><p>"Mmhmm, alright get out before I ask more questions I don't want the answers to."</p><p>"Oh my God mom, I'm not doing anything. I love you."</p><p>"To the moon and back." I kissed her head before she got out. I know Debbie wasn't doing anything but it didn't stop me from worrying whenever she mentioned a boy she liked or when the sex topic was brought up. </p><p>When I got to work Franky asked me to look over some forms with her. "Why do you look like you've been caught with your pants down?"</p><p>I tried to focus on what I was looking at rather than what Franky was saying. </p><p>"Come on, spit it out."</p><p>"There's nothing to say because that's exactly what happened...Debbie."</p><p>"Oh Fuck." Franky gave a loud laugh and covered her mouth. "Jesus fuck, how?"</p><p>"I was waiting for the bathroom and Allie got handsy when we were in bed and Deb walked in on us semi-doing it."</p><p>"Damn, how come I'm never that lucky."</p><p>"Piss off." I smacked her arm as she kept laughing. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>"Thank you Margaret, you are a life saver. I owe you one really." I thanked one of the girls for helping me out yesterday when I called off and today now that I was leaving early to help Allie move into Bea's. </p><p>Will was waiting in my office and I made a face at him. "What? What'd I do?"</p><p>"Your great idea of playing sickie now cost me another day of work I had to put onto everyone else."</p><p>"How's that my fault?"</p><p>"It was your idea."</p><p>"You agreed."</p><p>"Smartass." I sat down and moved some stuff around my desk looking for a file. Will was staring at me, "What?"</p><p>"You look cute when you're mad."</p><p>"I am not mad, and I don't look cute when I am. Keep it up and you'll find out what I look like when I really am."</p><p>He kissed my nose. "Cute."</p><p>"Get away from me." I laughed. </p><p>"I don't think so." He pulled me up from my chair and put me so I was sitting on the desk. He kissed me, I smiled into the kiss and felt hot when he started to move his hand up my thigh. </p><p>"Will..we can't. I'm at work. The windows."</p><p>"I can fix that." He moved to close the blinds and made sure the door was closed. He went back to me and I put my arms around him.</p><p>"We still shouldn't."</p><p>"Say no. I'll stop."</p><p>I looked at him and grinned. I pulled him into a kiss and he moved my leg around him. "We can't make this a regular thing, I mean it Will."</p><p>He moved to kiss my neck. "Of course not."</p><p>"I mean it."</p><p>He smiled and shut me up with a kiss. "Let me work."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I got to the shelter around noon and walked through the halls stopping to say hi to some of the girls. I got near Kaz's office and noticed the blinds closed but didn't think much of it. I opened the door and wished I had considered the reason why the blinds were closed in the first place. "Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'll wait." I closed the door again and closed my eyes. Will and Kaz were doing it, fuck this must be what Debbie felt, poor kid.</p><p>I waited by Kaz's office until Will came out. He gave me an apologetic look and I couldn't help but laugh. I slowly walked into Kaz's office watching her try her best to look serious. </p><p>"You still have a button undone on that shirt."</p><p>She looked down and turned around to fix it. </p><p>"Don't shy away from me now."</p><p>She turned around again. </p><p>I couldn't help but smile at how teenagery she looked. "When did this happen?"</p><p>She blushed, "Yesterday. He got me into pulling a sickie and Allie, I already knew but by the end of the day, I was sure that I loved him. I didn't sleep with him because of that, I just-it felt right you know?"</p><p>"Oh Kaz I'm so happy for you." I went over and hugged her. "Office sex is fun huh?"</p><p>"Allie I am not talking about this with you."</p><p>"What? Bea and I always have a great time."</p><p>"I do not need to know about what you do to Bea when you're supposed to be working."</p><p>I grinned. "I'm happy for you Kaz really. You two are cute, you should have seen Will's face when he was walking out of here."</p><p>Kaz smiled, "He's really good to me Allie. I told him about my dad."</p><p>I went and hugged Kaz again, "I'm proud of you mama."</p><p>"Let's go get you moved."</p><p>After a good amount of trips, from my place to Bea's and making sure I took everything, I gave my keys to the owner of the apartment complex and said one final goodbye to my old home. Watching the way Will and Kaz interacted gave me so much hope for Kaz. I was always afraid she'd end up alone, I know she didn't need anyone, but it's nice to know she did have someone. She looked happy and content. Will turned out to be a really good guy and I don't think I could ever repay him for everything he has ever done for her. </p><p>Kaz was folding some boxes and putting them in her car. I looked at Will, "Bea was right."</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"You being a good bloke. Thank you for being there for Kaz."</p><p>He smiled and I went and hugged him. "Thank you Will."</p><p>Kaz came in and looked at us, "Am I interrupting?"</p><p>"Nope, just giving Will grief about this morning." I joked. </p><p>He turned red and Kaz went over to grab his hand. "She's just pulling your leg." She looked over at me, "cut it out."</p><p>"She's right, I'm taking the piss, mostly because now I realize that I need to do everything Debbie ever asks me to do. I should buy her a car."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Well Debbie found Bea and I in a similar situation this morning."</p><p>Kaz and Will burst out laughing. </p><p>"Poor Debbie, she might need new retinas after watching that." Kaz laughed. </p><p>"Fuck off." I joked back. </p><p>"Forget her eyes, she'll need years of therapy to get those images out of her head." Will added. </p><p>"Oh you two can talk. What about what I was forced to endure?"</p><p>Kaz answered back, "The blinds were closed and so was the door. Take a hint." </p><p>I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out, "Assholes."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>After many long hours of work, I was exhausted and wanted to go home. Allie had texted me telling me that she was handling dinner tonight. I wasn't sure if I should be thankful or worried. It's not that Allie was a bad cook, she just made a mess in the kitchen when she did. She was completely oblivious to it which made it kind of adorable. </p><p>I got home to Allie and Debbie setting the table. I saw bags from an Italian restaurant on the counter. </p><p>"Fancy." I said while kissing Debbie on the head and kissing Allie on the lips.</p><p>"It was my idea, to celebrate Allie officially moving in." Debbie smiled.</p><p>"Great idea. How'd the move in go?"</p><p>"Good, Kaz and Will are lifesavers." Allie said while pulling out my chair so I could sit down. </p><p>"I'm glad it all worked out. How was your day Deb?"</p><p>"Alright. I was wondering if I could go to a party on Saturday."</p><p>"Where?"</p><p>"Charlotte's house."</p><p>"Who's going to be there?"</p><p>"Just some of my friends and some other people at school."</p><p>"How many people?"</p><p>"I don't know. It's not my party mom."</p><p>"What time?"</p><p>"Around 8."</p><p>"I don't know Deb-"</p><p>"Mom please, I won't be out long I promise."</p><p>I thought about it, "I want you home by midnight. No later, if you are even a minute-"</p><p>"Thank you mom!" Deb came over to kiss me. "You're the best, I'm going to call Charlotte."</p><p>"You better keep that energy up even when I make you do the dishes."</p><p>"I will!"</p><p>Allie smiled over at me, "You're very protective."</p><p>"I've had to be. I know she hates it but-"</p><p>Allie put her hand on top of mine. "You're a good mom. I wish I had someone like that when I was growing up. Deb will thank you for it when she gets older."</p><p>"I highly doubt it."</p><p>"She will, trust me."</p><p>I took a sip of wine, "Can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Of course babe."</p><p>"Were you ever curious, to go back and talk to your parents, your siblings?"</p><p>Allie shrugged her shoulders, "Seemed like a waste of time. They made it clear and I didn't want to keep going back to get my heartbroken over and over again."</p><p>"I'm sorry I brought it up, I just wanted to know."</p><p>"Hey, you can ask me anything. I'm not upset you asked. It just shows me, again, how much you care about me. Although at this point I shouldn't be surprised." </p><p>I squeezed her hand. </p><p>Allie looked at me and seemed to have remembered something, she had the biggest grin on her face, "Fuck me, you'll never believe what happened to me when I went to go look for Kaz and Will today in the shelter." </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I had gotten home ready to see my girl and kissed her when I saw her making dinner. "Hey spunky."</p><p>"Hi baby. How was work?"</p><p>"Good. Guess what Red told me today."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Debbie walked in on her and Novak going bumper to bumper."</p><p>I could tell Gidge was trying to be objective and trying not to laugh, "That must have been one hell of a compromising situation."</p><p>"Come on Gidge, that's fucking hilarious. You're allowed to laugh."</p><p>"Franky, be nice. Poor Debbie, poor Bea."</p><p>"Eh they'll get over it."</p><p>I went to change out of my clothes and Gidge served us. We talked about her day and we were interrupted by Gidge's phone ringing. Gidge got up and went to check.</p><p>"I thought you weren't supposed to be bothered by patients outside of scheduled hours Gidge." </p><p>Gidge looked at her phone and seemed to stare at it a bit. Then she looked back at me, "How do you know it's one of my patients? Maybe it's my new girlfriend."</p><p>My grin dropped, "That's not funny."</p><p>She came over to kiss me, "I need to take this." She walked out of the room and into the bedroom, I heard her close the door. </p><p>I started to think that Andrea was bothering her again, fucks sake. I'd have to go and have another little chat with her, maybe I should bring Boomer. After a couple of minutes Gidge came back out. </p><p>"Who was on the phone Gidget?"</p><p>She sat back down and took a sip of wine, "My parents. They want to come down from Sydney to visit."</p><p>"And that's a bad thing because?"</p><p>"It's not bad baby it's just-my parents can be a little much. They ask too many questions, can be too touchy, I always feel stressed out when they're here. Not because they're bad, they're great, they're better than I deserve."</p><p>"Kind of sounds like you're naming things to get me not to meet them, to push me away." I stood up and put my dishes in the sink.</p><p>"That's not what I'm doing Franky."</p><p>"Then what are you doing? If you don't want me to meet your folks just say it, I can make myself scarce of whatever. I get it, you don't want to introduce me to them, afraid of what they'd say."</p><p>"Franky, that isn't what I meant."</p><p>I started to walk towards the bedroom when she pulled me, "Hey, listen to me. Franky, I would love nothing more than for you to meet my parents. The only reason I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to is because I know family isn't something you've always had. I don't want you to feel forced to want to be around or like you have to. I just know that you aren't very touchy with anyone other than me, you don't like people who ask too many questions. My parents would love you, believe me. They are probably the most accepting people in the world. My mom was embarrassingly accepting of my being a lesbian. I want you to be comfortable, especially in our home, if you aren't going to be I don't want you to lie and say you are. I don't even know how I'm going to react, I do know I'm going to need more wine than this."</p><p>"Gidge, you don't need to protect me, that's my job."</p><p>She smiled.</p><p>"I want to meet them Gidge. I love you, I want to meet the people who created the most beautiful woman in the world, the woman I fell in love with. And if you're going to be stressed out while they're here, then we'll be stressed out together." I kissed her.</p><p>"You'e going to regret it."</p><p>"We'll see. But for now, I am going to run you a bath and start some pre-relaxing techniques so by the time the day comes, you're perfectly fine."</p><p>She put her arms around my neck, "Oh yeah, and what exactly do these pre-relaxing techniques entail?"</p><p>I grinned and kissed her. I grabbed her hand, "Follow me, and you might just find out."</p>
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<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Fearful Bravery</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is going to be more of a Fridget centered chapter so enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Franky POV </p><p>The days had come and gone and it was Friday. Gidge's parents were coming in from Sydney tomorrow and Gidge was starting to let the stress of it get to her. She had deep cleaned every area of the house and was probably going to do it again tonight. It's not like she had to do that, but she wanted things to be perfect for her parents when she went to pick them up. They were staying at a hotel which made Gidget feel a bit more at ease but she still wanted to make them happy. </p><p>"Stop worrying." I looked up to see Red at my office door. </p><p>"I am not."</p><p>"I can hear you thinking from my office."</p><p>"I just want everything to go alright ya know? I've never met the parents before."</p><p>"You'll do great Franky, one of the best traits about you is you are quite the charmer. You can talk your way to anybody's heart."</p><p>"Aw Red, if I had known you had these kind of feelings for me all along-"</p><p>"Shut up." </p><p>I grinned and winked at her, "Get to work."</p><p>Red rolled her eyes and went back to her office. I went downstairs to work in the kitchen. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was working on ordering more food and drink supplies for the next shipment when I heard distant ringing of a phone. It wasn't mine, it sounded like Franky's cell phone. I got up and went to her office, the ringing continued and was coming from her jacket pocket. I took it out but it was an unknown caller ID. It could have been important so I answered it. "Hello?"</p><p>"Is this Franky Doyle?" A man's voice asked.</p><p>"Um no, I'm her business partner, Franky's busy at the moment can I take a message?"</p><p>"My name is Dan, I'm a nurse at St. Vincent's, Bridget Westfall has been in a car accident and she asked for us to contact Ms. Doyle."</p><p>I felt my stomach drop, "Is she alright?"</p><p>"She's sustained some bruising but that's all I can say for now, not really allowed to give that information over the phone."</p><p>"Okay, um I'll tell Franky. She'll be there. Thank you!"</p><p>I hung up and shakily grabbed the phone on Franky's desk. "Hey Liz, could you ask Franky to come up please. Tell her it's important."</p><p>I didn't want to tell Franky downstairs, she'd freak out and she'd make a scene which she'd be embarrassed about later. I grabbed Franky's jacket and put her phone back in the pocket. I found her keys in her desk and waited with them in my hands. </p><p>"Oi Red, you couldn't grace me with your presence downstairs, you had to make me come up?"</p><p>"Franky...," I handed her her jacket and keys, "Franky, Bridget's been in a car accident-"</p><p>"What the fuck? Where-where is she? Is she alright? Red is she-"</p><p>"She's been taken to St. Vincent's. The nurse said there was some bruising but he couldn't tell me anything else over the phone. Go, we've got this covered, get out of here."</p><p>Franky nodded and ran out of the office. I put a hand over my face, fuck. I collected myself and went downstairs. I went to talk to Liz and told her that Franky would be out for the day and I'd be looking over the quality of the food today. I walked to the kitchen and told the other chefs that Franky had a personal emergency so I'd be here to lend a hand. Once we spoke about the plan for the day they all went to work.</p><p>Allie came over to me, "Hey, what's going on? Franky ran out of here in a rush."</p><p>I grabbed Allie's hand and pulled her closer to me, "Bridget's been in a car accident."</p><p>"Fuck, is she alright?"</p><p>"I don't know, the nurse couldn't tell me anything over the phone."</p><p>"Fuck, Franky and Bridget are already nervous about tomorrow this isn't helping."</p><p>"I know. I'm going to spend some time down here."</p><p>"Righto."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I sped to the hospital, I don't even think I locked my car when I parked. I ran through the emergency room doors and looked for anyone who could tell me where she was, how she was. "My name is Franky Doyle, I'm here to see Gi-Bridget Westfall. Please, I got a call. Is she alright?"</p><p>"Yeah hi, I'm Dan I was the one who called you."</p><p>"Is she alright?"</p><p>"She's fine now. Someone hit her from behind, the airbag took most of the impact but she did get some whiplash from the quickness of hitting the airbag and the headrest back to back. She also received some bruising in her ribs from the seatbelt."</p><p>"Can I see her?"</p><p>"Of course." He brought me through the doors and I saw her laying on one of the beds further down. </p><p>I ran over to her, "Gidge."</p><p>She looked up at me and smiled. "Franky." </p><p>I hugged her and felt her wince, "Fuck I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's okay, it's just the ribs."</p><p>I put my hands on her face and kissed her, "What happened?"</p><p>"I don't know. I was driving and then I felt someone hit me and pain in my neck. I didn't even know I had hit the airbag until they told me when I was here."</p><p>"Gidge, I'm sorry."</p><p>"It's not your fault, it was an accident."</p><p>I looked at the nurse, "Is she alright? Can she go home or does she have to stay here?"</p><p>"The doctor wants to keep her for a couple more hours for observation, maybe even overnight if she sees fit. So far Bridget says that the pain is subsiding with the pain medication we've been giving her but it's just a precaution."</p><p>"Thank you, for everything. Thank you for calling me."</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>I sat down and held Gidge's hands, "Are you sure you're alright?"</p><p>"Baby I'm fine. I'm sorry you got worried."</p><p>"Gidge, you scared the crap out of me. I thought I almost lost you."</p><p>"Never that." Gidge kissed me. "Oh, I have to call the clinic, Vera."</p><p>"Don't worry about all of that, I'll call her and your assistant. Do you want me to call your parents?"</p><p>"No way. They'd fuss and my mother would take the next plane out. She'd never leave my sight. I'd rather ask for forgiveness tomorrow."</p><p>"Okay. Whatever you want." I kissed her again. "I'll call Vera."</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>Franky went outside to make the phone calls. I did my best to relax but my neck still killed a bit. The pain medication was helping but I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home. They wanted me awake and under observation to make sure my headache was just that and not a concussion. </p><p>I wasn't scared that I had had an accident, I was more afraid of Franky's reaction. Seeing her face running towards me, I knew she was scared. She came back and came to sit with me again. She was trying her best to compartmentalize so I wouldn't worry. I put my hand on top of hers, "Baby, I'm fine. It's not as bad as it seems, unless you're trying to tell me I look that bad."</p><p>She gave me a smile, "You look beautiful, little bruising under your eyes but you're still the most gorgeous woman in the world to me."</p><p>"Cheeky."</p><p>"I love you Bridget."</p><p>I tried not to cry thinking of the way Franky called me my real name rather than my nickname, something she only ever did if she was being serious, "I love you too Franky."</p><p>After some time my doctor approached us, "Hello I'm Doctor Bowen, I'm assuming your Franky."</p><p>"That's me." Franky smiled.</p><p>My doctor looked back at me, "How are you feeling?"</p><p>"Tired, but better. I'd like to go home."</p><p>"Understandable, I just need to do some more examinations see how you're going. If I feel confident enough that you'll be better rested at home than here then I'll start on those discharge forms."</p><p>"I'd appreciate it." </p><p>She started examining my eyes, reflexes, some cognitive tests. "Well the MRI we took earlier shows no bleeding or bruising in the brain and you aren't sluggish or having trouble formulating thoughts or following instructions. I think it's safe to say you are concussion free. The bruising on your ribs should heal on their own, which means  rest for you, no heavy lifting, no over working."</p><p>I rolled my eyes.</p><p>"I saw that. I'm serious."</p><p>"She'll listen doc, I'll be watching her." Franky added.</p><p>"Good, because I know how stubborn she can be, been my patient for a long time."</p><p>"I am right here." I interjected.</p><p>"As I was saying, the whiplash seems to be on the minor side so ice packs, pain medication, even some chiropractic therapies could help with any tension or pain. Speaking of, how's the pain from 1 to 10. No bullshit."</p><p>I took a deep breath, "6."</p><p>Franky looked at me, "Gidge, you should have said something."</p><p>"Baby, it's not that bad. I can handle it." I looked back at Dr. Bowen. "Can I go home?"</p><p>"I'd generally push for an overnight stay, but something tells me you're going to be bugging me every hour until you can go home."</p><p>"You know me so well."</p><p>"Let me check with another doctor, get a second opinion. If they agree you're good to go then you can. But I want you to promise me that if they approve, you don't mask your pain. You tell Franky and come straight back here if anything seems out of the ordinary. Take the medication as indicated and no over pushing yourself."</p><p>"Got it, I promise."</p><p>She nodded and walked away. </p><p>"You'll listen to her Gidge, I'm gonna watch you."</p><p>"Yes mom."</p><p>Franky rolled her eyes and kissed my cheek. After what seemed like forever Dr. Bowen came back with the discharge forms. She game me another talk about coming back if I felt worse, having lots of rest, the regular stuff. Franky went to go get the car and the nurse wheeled me out in a wheel chair despite my protests. Franky helped me in the car and we drove home. Franky ran to my side and went to help me out of the car, "I can walk on my own Franky."</p><p>"I'm trying to be a gentleman Gidge, let me."</p><p>We walked to the bedroom and she laid me down. She got me an icepack and sat next to me, "Do you need anything, some more pain medication, or are you hungry I could whip something up-"</p><p>"Franky, I am fine. I just need to close my eyes for a bit." I groaned, "But first, I should call the insurance company deal with them and-"</p><p>"I'll deal with it Gidge, you rest okay? Don't worry about anything other than getting better." She kissed my forehead and moved so she was holding me. "Get some sleep Gidge."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was making some soup when the doorbell rang. I went over to open the door to see Novak and Red. They had brought some flowers, "Hey, how is she?" </p><p>"She's sleeping. They said she got some whiplash and some bruised ribs but no concussion so there's a plus."</p><p>"Bruised ribs aren't too bad. She should sleep hugging a pillow so they don't hurt as much and put pillows under her neck and upper back." Allie and I looked over at Red when she said that. She looked back at us, "What? I'm kind of an expert in that area."</p><p>I gave Red a sad smile and saw Allie squeeze her hand. </p><p>"Thanks, I'll make sure that Gidge follows that, speaking of, what are you doing out of bed you should have called me." Gidge had made her way to the kitchen. </p><p>"I can walk on my own." She answered back with a smile. Red and Novak said hello and we all went to sit down at the dining table. I put a pillow behind Gidge's back. </p><p>"So how are you feeling?" Allie asked. </p><p>"Better after some rest. Glad to be out of hospital. Glad to be back home with you." Gidge grabbed my hand and I winked at her. </p><p>"Do you need anything?" Red asked. </p><p>"No, although something tells me that once my parents hear about the accident my mom will be cancelling her hotel reservation and settling herself here."</p><p>"Everything will be fine Gidge, I'm calling off tomorrow so I can go with you to the airport."</p><p>"Oh baby you don't have to do that."</p><p>"Gidge you can't drive and you don't have a car remember."</p><p>She put her hand on her forehead, "Wish I could forget."</p><p>Red looked over at me, "Don't worry about work. I'll come in tomorrow."</p><p>"Red you don't work weekends."</p><p>"I know but the team needs someone there to help get everything started. I have done it before, I'm not just a pretty face."</p><p>"Damn right." Allie added. </p><p>"Thanks Red, I appreciate it."</p><p>"We both do." Gidge said. </p><p>Novak and Red stayed for a bit longer and then they decided to go home. Gidge and I thanked them for coming. Gidge ate a bit and took her pain pills. I grabbed some extra pillows from the closet in the hall and put them on the bed. "Gidge, Red said that pillows help with sleeping and stuff."</p><p>"Thank you for everything baby."</p><p>"You're my girl, I have to look after you."</p><p>She kissed me and she quickly fell asleep again. She said it had something to do with the pain pills, they made her sleepy. I caressed her face while keeping as far away distance as I could so I didn't hurt her. She looked so peaceful, so exhausted but still beautiful. </p><p>The next day Gidge was worrying again about her parents coming and I tried to get her to relax, "Spunky everything will be fine."</p><p>"I know I know, I'm just nervous."</p><p>"Everything will be okay. I know this isn't exactly what you planned but everything will be all right. Come on."</p><p>We drove to the airport and waited in the pick up area. Gidge was trying to mask her pain but I knew she was feeling it, she was so stubborn she didn't want to take the pain meds because they made her tired. I waited near her and saw her stand up a bit when she saw them coming. "Show time." They came over to her and Bridget smiled. "Woah before we go squeezing the life out of me, just careful okay?"</p><p>"Why what's wrong?" Gidge's mom asked. </p><p>"I had a bit of an accident yesterday and-"</p><p>"You should have called us we would have come here sooner. Bridget what were you thinking?"</p><p>"Mom I'm fine, I promise."</p><p>"Sweetheart, you still should have called." Gidge's father added. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>"I know, I'm sorry. Uh Mom, Dad this is my girlfriend Franky." I said turning to Franky.</p><p>"Hi." She smiled.</p><p>"Nope. No plain hi's. I may not be able to hug my daughter but you have no excuse." My mom went and hugged Franky and I saw her confused face but she slowly hugged her back.</p><p>"Excuse my wife Franky, she doesn't go a day without hugging another person." My dad apologized. </p><p>"No worries." Franky grinned. My dad hugged Franky as well and I went to grab my mom's bags. </p><p>"Nuh, Gidge. Absolutely not. I got it." Franky grabbed the bag from my hand.</p><p>"Franky-"</p><p>"No, Gidge no heavy lifting. What did the doc say?" She kissed my nose and put the bags in the trunk. </p><p>"Let's get in the car." I said looking at my parents.</p><p>"You're sitting with me in the back and you can explain to me why you didn't call." My mom grabbed my arm lightly. </p><p>"Unh mom."</p><p>"No buts, come on."</p><p>I sat with my mom in the back while my dad took the passenger seat and Franky drove to the house. I could see her smiling as my mom scolded me. </p><p>"She babies her too much." My dad told Franky. </p><p>"It's cute Gidge." Franky winked at me from the rearview mirror. </p><p>"Piss off." I answered back.</p><p>"Bridget language." My mom smacked my hand.</p><p>I rolled my eyes and Franky grinned at me. When we got to the house Franky walked me inside and put some tea on. She went back to the car to get the bags. My mom squeezed my hand as I sat down on the couch, "She's a good one. I like her."</p><p>"Me too." My dad added, "Much more than the last one you had."</p><p>"I do too." I smiled. </p><p>Franky finished bringing the bags inside, "Righto well I'm assuming if Gidge is right you guys would rather stay here than at a hotel after hearing about her accident."</p><p>"If it's not too much trouble." My mom looked over at me.</p><p>"It's not a problem. I'll put the bags in the guest room." </p><p>"Oh but I didn't clean the guest room, there's a bunch of boxes in there." I said getting up.</p><p>"Gidge stay put. I cleaned it out last night after you fell asleep. It's not spotless clean but I hope it will do."</p><p>"We aren't picky, thank you Franky." My dad thanked her. </p><p>I mouthed the words 'I love you' to Franky. She winked at me. </p><p>My dad looked back at me again, "Now I really like her, and she's a chef. You hit the jackpot sweetheart."</p><p>"Yeah I did." I smiled. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>After spending a couple of hours at work I came home to a very excited Debbie deciding on what to wear. "I meant what I said, home by midnight."</p><p>"I know!" She said running back to her room to do her makeup.</p><p>"She's very happy." Allie said kissing my shoulder. </p><p>"I know, I just worry. It's not that I think she'd do anything bad but she's still my baby no matter how big she gets."</p><p>"I know, like I said, you're a good mom."</p><p>I smiled and kissed her. I went to change out of my work clothes and once the time got nearer Debbie was ready to go. I kissed her head and told her to be careful, "Home by midnight. No drinking, no drugs, careful with boys. I love you, to the moon and back."</p><p>"I love you too momma."</p><p>I saw her get in her friend's car and felt the worry start to set in. Every time she went out I was afraid something would happen. it was in irrational thought but it was still there. Allie made me sit with her on the couch, "Come here, she'll be okay."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>Allie kissed me, "I could get your mind off of it if you'd like." She kissed my neck. </p><p>"Oh yeah, how do you plan on doing that?"</p><p>"I have a few ideas." She flashed me a smile and pushed me onto the couch. "And some very fun ones too."</p><p>"Do tell."</p><p>"I'd rather show you."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I cooked a pretty great meal if I do say so myself and Gidge started wincing after dinner. I got up and went to go get her pain pills. I put a glass of water in from of her and kissed the top of her head. </p><p>She thanked me and drank them, "I don't know how much more fun I'll be after having these in me."</p><p>"You should get some rest love." Gidge's mom kissed her as Gidge stood up. Gidge kissed her dad's cheek and she started to walk to the bedroom.</p><p>I put her arm around me, "Come on Gidge." Once she was in bed and all the pillows were positioned for her to rest I closed the door and went back to the kitchen. Gidge's mom had washed the dishes. "Aw you didn't have to do that, I was about to."</p><p>"Franky, you have done so much for us and for Bridget. This was the least I could do."</p><p>"It's not a problem. I love her, she'd do the same for me."</p><p>"I know she would, she's very caring. But it's rare to see it reciprocated by anyone else, and even rarer to see her accepting it."</p><p>"Are we talking about Andrea?"</p><p>Gidge's dad groaned, "Could never understanding what Bridget ever saw in that woman. But you're definitely an upgrade Franky. I've never seen my babygirl so happy or at peace with another person before. I have you to thank for that."</p><p>"I'm happy to do it. Really. Gidge has made me a better person, plus she spends all her days looking out for other people. Someone should do the same for her. Speaking of, I was hoping to get your guys' opinion on something."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>It was nearing midnight and I was sitting waiting in the living room. Allie had fallen asleep after she spent a good couple of hours getting my mind off of Debbie and onto some other things. I saw the lights of a car pull up and I stood up. Seconds later the key was turning the lock and I felt myself breathe again. </p><p>Debbie jumped when she saw me, "Jesus Mom, I will never get used to you doing that." </p><p>"Good. How was it?"</p><p>"It was fun."</p><p>"What's wrong? You have that look on your face."</p><p>"Promise you won't get mad."</p><p>"Debbie what?"</p><p>"I had my first kiss today." </p><p>I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the couch with me, "With who?"</p><p>"This boy in my class, his name is Nathaniel but everyone calls him Nat."</p><p>"And how did it happen?"</p><p>"I've liked him for a while. I didn't think he'd even noticed me before until tonight. We spent most of the night talking and we went outside for a bit. He kissed me when we were alone."</p><p>I smiled, "Did you like it."</p><p>Debbie grinned and nodded. "It was really great mom."</p><p>"So what now, do I have a son in law?"</p><p>"Ugh mom, it was one kiss. But he did ask for my number."</p><p>"This is great Deb."</p><p>"I thought you were going to be upset."</p><p>"I said to be careful with boys, I never said no boys at all. And if you really like him like you said you do, I can't be mad at that."</p><p>"Thanks mom. I'm going to go to bed, I still have to help Kaz tomorrow at the shelter."</p><p>I nodded, "I'll drive you in the morning. Get some sleep." I kissed her cheek, "And go to bed, no staying up late to text Nat."</p><p>She smiled and went to her room. Her first kiss, I'm happy that it was magical and beautiful for her. She deserved all of it and more. I went back to bed and climbed back to my spot. Allie was sleeping on her side and I moved so I was holding her. She opened her eyes and looked at me, "Where'd you go?"</p><p>"Debbie came home."</p><p>"Hmm, are you going to sleep now?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Good." She hugged me and I kissed her. </p><p>"Get some rest baby."</p><p>She slowly nodded against my chest and closed her eyes again. I couldn't think of any better situation to be in.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Nothing Ordinary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Franky POV </p><p>I woke up to the smell of food coming from the kitchen. I furrowed my brows and looked at the time, it was abut 9 in the morning. Gidge was still sleeping, she woke up in a bit of pain last night and tossed and turned. She still looked tired, I know she was frustrated and just wished everything would heal and get better sooner rather than later. </p><p>I kissed the top of her head and slowly got up. I walked to the kitchen and saw Gidge's mom cooking, "Good morning, hey you didn't need to do that. I would have made breakfast."</p><p>"I will have none of that. You cooked a beautiful meal for us last night Franky, let me handle breakfast. I may not be a chef but I can make a pretty damn good breakfast."</p><p>"I wouldn't argue with her Franky." Gidge's dad added. </p><p>I put my hands up in defeat, "I'll take that advice. Thank you."</p><p>"Want a cuppa?"</p><p>"Sure, I'd love one." I sat down and received another one of those hugs by Gidge's mom. She was right they were pretty touchy, I didn't mind it though. I excused myself and went to the patio. I made some calls to work telling them this would be one of those Sunday's I wouldn't be coming in. I'd most likely be at work tomorrow but no chance on seeing me there today. I asked if they needed anything important and they said they were all good. I came back in to see Gidge sitting in one of the dining chairs. "Morning spunky, how are you feeling?"</p><p>"Better baby, I'm sorry if I kept you up last night."</p><p>"No sweat Gidge." I kissed the top of her head and sat next to her. "Looks like your mom beat me to the kitchen."</p><p>"You better get used to it." Gidge smiled. "I need to call my assistant later and move some appointments around. I want to go back to work as soon as possible but something tells me you three will make that impossible."</p><p>"Damn right. Doc said you need to rest which means you will rest."</p><p>"Listen to her Bridget, she's a smart woman." Gidge's dad added. </p><p>"Very true." I grinned. </p><p>She smiled at me and I kissed her. We all ate breakfast together and thanked Gidge's mom for a wonderful breakfast. We fought on who got to do the dishes and I lost, again. I was texting Red about something I needed her help with while Gidge made some work calls. Gidge's mom sat next to me and patted my leg, "Any ideas?"</p><p>"Tons, a mate of mine is going to help me out with some things but I'm so nervous."</p><p>"Let me tell you something Franky, Bridget has had few serious relationships, and I've met all of them. The way she looks at you, the way you look at her, that is true love. I always worried that Bridget would never find someone that made her truly happy, they usually used her or put their needs above hers. She cares too much, she's too kind. Franky, watching the way you are with her, she'd be an idiot to say no. I don't think she ever saw herself as someone who would get married one day, but if it had to be anyone, she'd pick you."</p><p>"Ah don't go saying things like that, deep down I'm a big ol' sook and I'll start crying. Then it will ruin the whole surprise."</p><p>Gidge's mom laughed and I looked over at Gidge. I couldn't wait to ask her to marry me. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Once I dropped Deb off at the shelter and Allie off at work I went into some shops. Franky texted me this morning about wanting to propose to Bridget, I couldn't believe it, but at the same time I could. Franky was completely and utterly in love with Bridget. More in love than she had ever been with Erica and I don't think she ever really felt that way about Kim. </p><p>She had sent me some sample pictures of rings she found on the internet that she thought were nice but she needed a quote "girly perspective" unquote. I was horrible at this kind of thing, but Franky said I was the only person she could trust to do this discreetly, which meant no telling Allie. Everything had to be very hush hush. </p><p>I walked into a jewelry store and was greeted by the sales person, "Hello, how may I help you today?"</p><p>"Um, this may sound weird but a friend of mine wants to propose but she couldn't come here herself and she wanted me to come to find a ring."</p><p>He smiled, "It's actually a lot more common than you'd think. Did your friend have any ideas?"</p><p>"Yeah, she sent me these pictures. She wants something simple, not too flashy. Her girlfriend isn't the one for showy things. My friend said the price range doesn't matter it just has to be perfect."</p><p>"Sounds like a dream woman, let me pull out some samples of rings that I think she'd like and we'll go from there."</p><p>"Thank you so much."</p><p>He brought out different kinds of rings and I looked through many of them. They were all so nice. There was one near the end that completely caught my attention, "Oh, this one is beautiful."</p><p>"Fan favorite. It's a 14K white gold cushion halo ring with round diamond accents."</p><p>"It's gorgeous. Can I take a picture?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>I sent Franky a message asking if she was clear to send a picture. She said she was and I sent her a picture of the ring. I got an incoming phone call from her seconds later. "Red, that's the one."</p><p>"Are you sure you don't want to look at other rings, there are about a million in here."</p><p>"Red, that is the ring. It's elegant and beautiful, like Gidge."</p><p>"Franky, that ring is over $7,000."</p><p>"I don't care, I love Gidge and she deserves the best. If that's what it costs then I'll pay it."</p><p>"When you love you love hard Francesca Doyle."</p><p>"You know what, I am in such a good mood, not even you using my name like that will upset me."</p><p>I hung up and went back to the sales man. "She wants it, anything for her girl."</p><p>"Wonderful."</p><p>"She sent me her card information, can she pay like that or does she need to come in?"</p><p>"Unfortunately, she'd need to come in. It's quite the large transaction, I need her signature. But I'll make sure to hold the ring specifically for her. She can come in any time this week to pick it up and pay for it."</p><p>"She'll probably be here tomorrow morning. I'll make sure to let her know."</p><p>"Great, whose name should I leave it under?"</p><p>"Franky Doyle."</p><p>He wrote it down on a piece of paper and started putting the rings back. He packaged Franky's and put it in the back. I looked around and he smiled at me, "Anything in interest for you?"</p><p>"Uh maybe not the wedding rings, I think it's a little early for that." I laughed. </p><p>"We don't just have rings, we have necklaces, bracelets, all kinds of jewelry."</p><p>"What kind of bracelets would you recommend?"</p><p>"We have some beautiful Swarovski tennis bracelets over here."</p><p>I followed him to the box and they had some in silver, gold, rose gold. I pointed at one in the middle, "I like that one."</p><p>"This is a white rhodium plated deluxe tennis bracelet." He pulled it out and I looked at it. </p><p>"I'll take it, it's perfect." </p><p>He smiled, "I'll go bag this for you, wonderful choice."</p><p>I thanked him and kept looking at different ones. </p><p>"Change of heart?"</p><p>"No, I still want the one I picked, it's for my girlfriend. But, while I'm here, I'm usually not someone who spends money on anything materialistic, maybe just not my nature. But, I have a 17 year old daughter who is getting bigger by the second and, I don't know, I want to get something special for her but she also isn't big on jewelry either."</p><p>"So more on the simple side?"</p><p>I nodded, "I want to get her something special. She's been working so hard at school and I just want to show her how much I love and appreciate her."</p><p>"Well I have something from the same collection, it's a rose gold floating crystal pendant." He pulled it out from a drawer behind him. It was simple and beautiful. "Looks like I'm taking that one too."</p><p>He smiled again and went to bag it. He charged me and I paid. "Now, if you ever wish to come back please do not hesitate. Especially if you're ever considering making that girlfriend into something more."</p><p>I smiled, "Maybe one day. Thank you for everything."</p><p>"Have a great day."</p><p>I walked out of the shop feeling great. I hadn't planned on buying anything, I was there for Franky but it just felt right. I texted Franky that she had to pay and pick the ring up because she needed to sign for it and that he'd hold the ring for her. Franky thanked me and said she'd pick it up tomorrow. </p><p>I went back home and started to plan out everything else Franky wanted. Once it got closer to the time I went to go pick Debbie up from the shelter. </p><p>"How was your day?"</p><p>"It was alright." Debbie seemed a bit deflated in comparison to last night.</p><p>"What's wrong, did something happen with Kaz?"</p><p>"No, everything's fine, I'm just being stupid."</p><p>"What do you mean, what's wrong?"</p><p>"Nat hasn't texted me."</p><p>I smiled slightly looking at how much she seemed to like him, "Oh Deb maybe he just got caught up with some stuff."</p><p>"I guess."</p><p>"Are you hungry?"</p><p>"Please."</p><p>I smiled, of course she was still going to be hungry. "We could pick something up on the way or do you want me to make something?"</p><p>"Whichever. What time is Allie off?"</p><p>"Soon."</p><p>"Let's pick her up first and then we could decide together."</p><p>"Okay, and seeing as you're still in a bit of a sad mood, how about I give you something that will cheer you up."</p><p>Her face lit up with curiosity. "What is it?"</p><p>"Hold on, let us get to the restaurant first and then I'll give it to you."</p><p>Debbie kept asking me what it was, she wanted hints and possibilities of what it could be. Once we pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I shot Allie a text that I was outside. I pulled the bag from under the seat and handed Debbie her box. I put the bag back under the seat and watched her open it. "Oh my God mom, it's so pretty. Thank you." She hugged me and I kissed her forehead. </p><p>"I'm glad you like it."</p><p>"Mom it's beautiful, can you put it on me?"</p><p>I moved her hair so I could clip it on and she hugged me again. "Mom I love it." She looked at herself in the mirror. "Oh this is so cool. What else is in the bag?"</p><p>"Allie's gift."</p><p>"What did you get her?"</p><p>"A bracelet, but don't say anything. I'm going to give it to her a little later okay."</p><p>"How exciting. When did you turn into such a romantic?"</p><p>"Was just passing by and decided to splurge a bit on my two favorite girls."</p><p>Debbie took pictures of her necklace and sent them to all her friends. At least she was in happier spirits. Allie came out after a little while and climbed into the backseat, "Ah two of my favorite people to end the day with, what more could a girl ask for." She kissed Deb on the cheek and kissed me on the lips. She whistled at Deb's necklace, "Woah, that's a beauty."</p><p>"Mom got it for me." Debbie smiled. </p><p>"She's got great taste, but I knew that already." Allie winked at me. </p><p>"Alright you two, time to decide, do you want me to make something or order something?"</p><p>Debbie and Allie looked at each other and discussed, "Ooo mom you could make that pasta we both really like."</p><p>"The bowtie one?" I asked.</p><p>Debbie nodded, Allie smiled in agreeance. "Okay, well I have all the ingredients at home so I don't need to stop anywhere."</p><p>I drove straight home and Debbie jumped out of the car. Allie opened the door for me and kissed me deeply, "I missed you today."</p><p>"It was only a couple of hours Allie."</p><p>"Still too long." She kissed me again and I moaned when I felt her tongue in my mouth. </p><p>"Hold on, I have to get inside and cook for my two hungry girls, and if you let me carry on, you might also get a gift."</p><p>"Oh yeah."</p><p>I nodded and kissed her, "Come on."</p><p>We walked into the house and Debbie ran towards me, "Oh my God, Nat texted me. He said he would have earlier but he remembered that I mentioned I was volunteering at the shelter today. Mom he remembered."</p><p>"See, I told you to give him some time."</p><p>"He wants to talk on the phone, I'm so nervous."</p><p>"Everything will be fine, go and I'll start on dinner."</p><p>Debbie smiled and ran to her room. </p><p>Allie looked at me, "Nat?"</p><p>"Debbie has had a crush on a boy in her class and they kissed last night."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Yup, and they exchanged numbers and Debbie was in a bit of a mood because he hadn't reached out to her. I was going to wait to give her her gift for later but she looked like she needed a pick me up."</p><p>Allie kissed me, "You are the best mom in the whole world."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and started cooking. Allie went to go shower and I took that opportunity to go get her gift from the car and put it in one of the drawers in the kitchen. I could hear Debbie laughing and talking in her room. It made me happy that she found a boy she liked, but I was still nervous as to everything that could follow this first kiss. I shook the thoughts away, I didn't want to be one of those over protective parents, Debbie deserved to be happy. If this boy made her happy then I wanted to be supportive. </p><p>Allie came out of the shower and came over to put her chin on my shoulder, "So how come I hadn't been told about this Nat kid. I need to know everything that is going on in this house. I don't know this boy, he needs my seal of approval first."</p><p>I smiled and turned around. "I don't even know him, this is the first that Debbie ever mentioned him." I kissed her nose, "You're cute."</p><p>"Did I sound serious?"</p><p>"Like a total adult." </p><p>"Food almost ready?"</p><p>"Almost."</p><p>"Wine?"</p><p>"Please."</p><p>Allie poured us some wine and we laughed as we heard Debbie squealing in her room. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge and her dad were talking about cars and looking at some that Gidge should consider buying after she gets the money back from her insurance. Her car was completely buggered, she'd need a new one. Gidge's mom had gone out to the patio and I went to join her. "Not a fan of the car talk."</p><p>"Ugh, don't remind me. It was always his passion, cars and the way they ran. I never understood any of it, I zone him out when he talks about it. I'm not sure is Bridget listened because she was interested or just because she wanted to make him happy."</p><p>I pulled my phone out and made sure Gidge wasn't looking over here. I showed her mom the picture of the ring, "Oh Franky, this is beautiful. How'd you pull this off being here all day?"</p><p>"I got the best mate in the whole world."</p><p>"She will love it Franky. How are you planning to propose?"</p><p>"Might have to leave you in the dark for that one, can't give away all my secrets." She laughed and I bit my lip, "Can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>"You never judged, or maybe not openly. But you also haven't asked."</p><p>"About?" I looked at my tattoos. She smiled, "Franky, it is not my place to judge. I don't have a problem with tattoos or piercings or anything else people do to themselves. Your body, your choice. They don't define you. Bridget is a pretty good judge of character, if she could look past all of that then so can we. And I've never been a huge fan of tattoos but I do like yours, very colorful."</p><p>I smiled, "Thank you."</p><p>"Franky, I have always been a firm believer that it matters more what's on the inside rather than the out. I'd like to think I passed that thinking onto Bridget. You have shown you are a caring person, someone who looks after others, someone who loves with all her heart. I think your rough exterior is to mask the softness inside."</p><p>"Now you're just taking advantage because I told you I was a sook earlier."</p><p>She laughed and then I heard the door slide open and Gidge's hands around me. "What's going on out here?"</p><p>"Nothing much Gidge, just talking."</p><p>"Did you two decide on a car?" Gidge's mom asked. </p><p>"Dad seems more excited about it than I am. Right now it's just a big headache. I still have to wait to hear from the insurance company and stuff."</p><p>"Everything will be alright Gidge, and for now, looks like I'm your chauffeur." I grinned giving her a kiss. </p><p>"Oh great."</p><p>"Oi, what's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"Franky you drive too fast."</p><p>"But I'm safe."</p><p>"You still drive too fast."</p><p>"All right, I'll be more careful. Plus, now I'm going to have special cargo in my car, gotta be extra cautious."</p><p>"Cheeky." </p><p>I grinned and looked at her, joking with her laughing with her, I wanted to do this for the rest of my life. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Debbie had spent all her time at dinner talking about Nat and what they spoke about on the phone. I don't think she had ever been so excited about going to school before, all she wanted to do was to see him. He had asked if they could eat lunch together at school and Allie and I just watched her gush about how excited she was. It was hard not to be happy for her. </p><p>When it got late and Deb had gone to bed, Allie started to get ready for bed. I grabbed the bag from the kitchen and pulled the box out that held her bracelet. I sat down behind Allie and put my arms around her. "I have a surprise for you."</p><p>"Mmm, sex?"</p><p>"You get that almost every night."</p><p>"It's the gift that keeps on giving."</p><p>I laughed and pulled the box from behind me and handed it to her. She looked at me with confusion and surprise. She slowly opened it to show the bracelet and her jaw dropped. "Oh Bea. It's beautiful. I can't accept this, you bought Deb something and this, it must not have been cheap."</p><p>"If I remember correctly, a certain blonde told me once that I couldn't say no to her gift because it symbolized how she felt about me. This symbolizes the love I have for you and how beautiful you are. How happy I am to have you in my life. You can't say no, no refunds."</p><p>Allie rolled her eyes and kissed me. "Bea, thank you. You shouldn't have."</p><p>"I wanted to."</p><p>She turned around so she was facing me and kissed me again, "I love you Bea Smith."</p><p>"I love you too baby." </p><p>She asked for my help to put it on and I saw her face light up. "Fuck Bea, it's so beautiful."</p><p>"Like you."</p><p>She smiled and kissed me, "I think I should properly thank you for my amazing gift."</p><p>"How do you plan on doing that?"</p><p>Allie made a face like she was thinking, "Hmmm, I think I got it." She pushed me so she was on top of me. I laughed and she started to nip my neck and around my breasts. "Can we try something?"</p><p>"What?" I asked. She whispered in my ear and I looked at her. I slowly nodded but I felt my heart rate pick up. Maybe I should have listened to that little voice in my head a little more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, hello, so I don't know jack about jewelry so I googled everything I wrote about. I don't want to keep anyone in suspense for too long so the next chapter should be up very very soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Silent Noise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I got up before Allie did and went to shower, I took longer than usual letting the scalding water practically burn my skin. I was exhausted and I know Allie was too. I didn't want to ignore what happened, I couldn't and neither could she, but I didn't want to make a fuss about it for both of our sakes. I quickly got ready and got started on making breakfast. I started replaying what happened last night, I felt embarrassed and I know Allie was going to beat herself up over it which is what I didn't want. </p><p>I poured my coffee and heard the bedroom door open. I turned around and we made eye contact. There was so much we both wanted to say and this silence was absolutely deafening, we were being tied up by this stillness. "Allie-"</p><p>"Good Morning!" Debbie came out of her room with the biggest smile on her face looking ready to conquer the day by storm. </p><p>"Morning sweetheart." I said and looked back at Allie. </p><p>"Morning kiddo, excited?"</p><p>"You have no idea, I can't wait to go to school. To study of course." Debbie joked.</p><p>"Right." I answered back. "Go get ready."</p><p>Debbie nodded and happily ran back to her room. </p><p>I looked over at Allie again. She seemed stuck in her place. I finished what I was doing and grabbed her hand and led her to the bedroom. I closed the door and sat down on the bed. She stayed by the door. "Allie, come here, sit down."</p><p>"I'm sorry." I saw her eyes fill with tears and quickly mines did too. </p><p>"It's okay, I told you that already. No one is to blame."</p><p>She shook her head, "I am, I am to blame. Bea this is all my fault."</p><p>"Allie, please sit down. Let's talk about this. I'm not angry you have to know that."</p><p>"You should be. I was an idiot."</p><p>"Allie-"</p><p>"I should go."</p><p>I stood up and pulled Allie to me, "No. Where are you going to go huh? And for what? For a stupid misunderstanding that had more to do with me than anything you did."</p><p>She looked at me through tears. I put my hands on her face and she cried, "I hurt you."</p><p>I felt the tears falling down my face, "You didn't mean to, it was an accident."</p><p>"It shouldn't have ever happened, I should have known better."</p><p>"I didn't even know, how could you have? Please, don't be rash and do something stupid. I don't want you to go, I want you here with me."</p><p>"I'm so Sorry Bea, I'm sorry." She continued to cry and I put her head on my shoulder. </p><p>I tried to calm her down, "Baby it's okay. Shhh, it's alright." I forced her to look at me, "Do you want me to tell everyone you aren't coming in today?"</p><p>She shook her head, "No, I can work."</p><p>"Okay, we'll talk about this later tonight okay?" I kissed her and she nodded. "Do you want me to take you to work?"</p><p>"No, uh, Debbie will probably want to get out of her ASAP and I still have to shower."</p><p>I knew it was a bullshit excuse but I understood. I think we both needed a moment to get some air. "I'll see you at work okay?"</p><p>She nodded and I left the bedroom. I wiped my face and made sure I hadn't looked like I had been crying. Debbie ate and was ready to go, "Is Allie coming with us?"</p><p>"No, she's running on the later side."</p><p>"Is she sick?"</p><p>"No she's just a bit tired, bad night."</p><p>"Oh okay, does she need anything?"</p><p>"No, she'll be okay. I'll talk to her later."</p><p>"Okay." </p><p>I drove Deb to school and wished her a great day, she practically ran out of the car. I drove to work in a daze and waited in my car for a while before putting on a brave face and walking inside. I said good morning to everyone, Liz said Franky was coming in in a bit, she had an errand to run. I nodded knowing what it was and went upstairs. I closed the door of my office and took my jacket off. I felt a wave of uneasy feelings coming up and I tried to calm down. </p><p>I felt myself start to get emotional again. I ran my fingers through my hair and thought about last night again. It was no one's fault, no one did anything wrong, yet we both felt like complete shit.</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I sat in the shower crying into my knees. Everything was fine, we were doing fine, and then it wasn't. I banged my hands against my head over and over again, how could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I think? She had told me before and I thought she was ready, I was such an idiot. I know she was pretending to be okay when deep down she was hurting. </p><p>I got ready for work and put some makeup on trying to cover the redness in my face from the tears and anger I had towards myself. I got to work and said good morning to everyone. I went to Liz for my table assignments and started getting the tables ready. I started to get the feeling back, the want to use drugs. I just wanted to forget last night ever happened. Drugs could help me do that. I never meant to hurt her, I would rather die than to ever hurt Bea. </p><p>She was so worried about me last night after what happened that she comforted me. How fucked up was that? She comforted me, I should have been comforting her but instead she took care of me. I felt disgusted with myself and just wanted all of this to be some really fucked up bad dream. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was on top of the world, over the fucking moon. The ring was even better in real life. Gidge was going to love it and I was going to give Red the biggest hug in the fucking world, fuck I might even give her a raise. Gidge's parents were going to be staying with Gidge watching her today while I went to work. I liked having them around, they could fuss a bit over her but I thought it was adorable.</p><p>I walked into work and went straight to the kitchen thanking everyone for their great work in stepping up while I was gone unexpectedly. I let them know that I was super grateful and really appreciated it. I went upstairs and saw Red's door closed, but Novak was downstairs. She only closed her door if Novak was there or if she had a meeting with someone which she didn't. I knocked on the door and a couple of seconds passed before Red said to come in. "Oi, what's with the closed door?" I asked when I came in.</p><p>"Well, you see my partner, she's a real pain. Super annoying, constantly distracting me. She's coming back to work today and I got used to working without her distractions so I decided in order to keep it that way, closed doors would be the way to go."</p><p>"Fuck off."</p><p>She smiled, "Did you get it?"</p><p>I grinned and pulled it out of my jacket. </p><p>"Just like I remembered, I'm really happy for you Franky."</p><p>"I'm just worried she'll say no."</p><p>"Franky she loves you, she would never say no."</p><p>I put the ring away, "So were you able to figure everything else out?"</p><p>She seemed confused for a minute and realization seemed to hit her, "That, yes I did. You said her folks are in town until Sunday so I was thinking Saturday could be the perfect day. I could arrange everything with Liz and you could bring them all in and do it then."</p><p>"Great, I really appreciate this Red."</p><p>"Yeah, no worries." </p><p>Something was off, I could tell. Red has a tell, she used to do this back when she was married to dipshit. She would claim everything was alright and if you didn't really know her, you'd believe her. But she has this sincerity in her eyes that was lost whenever she'd lie about being okay. She was doing that now. I know she was happy for me but there was something else going on. </p><p>"Hey Red, is everything alright?"</p><p>She then did what I expected her to do. She looked surprised and asked, "Me? Yeah I'm fine Franky." Next she was going to try to get me out of her office by saying she was busy or something. "And I'm actually swamped here so..."</p><p>"What's happened?"</p><p>"Franky, nothing."</p><p>"What is it?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"You're lying."</p><p>"I am not, Franky just let it go."</p><p>"Fine. I'll just go ask Novak."</p><p>I went to open the door and Bea had come from her desk and slammed the door shut, "No. Franky, leave it alone." There was something in the way she said it, the look in her eyes, something bad happened.</p><p>"Tell me what's wrong."</p><p>"It is nothing you can fix okay? This is between me and her and we will fix it later okay. Just leave it alone Franky."</p><p>I slowly nodded and she removed her hand from the door. I walked out of her office and she closed the door on my way out. I went downstairs and made eye contact with Novak, she avoided her gaze from me and pretended to look busy. Whatever this was, it was bad. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I didn't mean to snap at Franky, I just knew that if she went asking Allie questions it would be in more of an accusatory tone and Allie wasn't to blame. I felt a buzz on my phone and looked to see, it was a text from Deb asking if she could go over to a friends house after school. I texted her back yes, but not to be home too late. </p><p>I looked over at the picture of me and Allie on my desk and I started to rub my shoulders. I didn't want to wait to talk until we got home but this wasn't the place. </p><p>I felt another buzz on my phone and it was from Franky ~I didn't talk to her, I swear. But you might want to. She looks dazed and confused. She's messed up two orders and Liz is worried about her.~</p><p>~Thanks for the update~</p><p>I took a deep breath and picked up the phone on my desk, "Liz, can you ask someone to cover for Allie and send her up here?"</p><p>"Of course love."</p><p>A couple minutes later there was a knock on my door. "Come in." I stood up from my chair and sat at the edge of my desk. </p><p>Allie walked in and tried not to look at me, "Yes?"</p><p>"Allie, do you want me to send you home?"</p><p>"No. I'm fine I can work."</p><p>"Allie, please look at me."</p><p>She looked up at me and I could see the sadness and guilt in her eyes. </p><p>"Come here."</p><p>She didn't move. </p><p>"Allie, come here."</p><p>She still didn't budge. I stood up and walked towards her. "Allie, please, don't push yourself away. It was an accident."</p><p>"That should have never happened."</p><p>"It was more my fault than it was yours."</p><p>"That's not true. It was me, I hurt you."</p><p>"But I knew I wasn't ready. You asked me and I said yes but I knew I wasn't ready for it."</p><p>She looked at me, "Why didn't you stop me?"</p><p>"Because I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I thought I could handle it. Baby this isn't the place to talk about it, I want to talk at home, our home." I grabbed her hand. "If you feel like you can't finish your shift, then I will send you home, no problem. If you feel like you can, then you can stay. But don't force yourself to stay here if it's not what you want."</p><p>Allie slowly nodded, "I want to go home."</p><p>"Okay." I kissed her forehead and heard her let out a shaking breath. "I'll talk to Franky and Liz and tell them you aren't feeling well. Go home, rest, I'll see you later okay? Debbie is going over to a friends house so we'll be alone."</p><p>"Bea..."</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>I held back the tears that I felt choking up, "It wasn't your fault. We'll talk later okay? I love you. I love you so much." I kissed her. </p><p>She left my office and I followed soon after. I went to talk to Liz and the other waiters/waitresses asking if they could share Allie's section. She wasn't feeling well and had to go home. I went to the kitchen and called Franky over. </p><p>"Allie's going home, she doesn't feel well."</p><p>"Red, I know you said to leave it alone, but what the fuck is going on? Allie is a damn good waitress and has never messed up an order, even when she was first starting out."</p><p>"Just leave it Franky."</p><p>Franky looked at me with worry and whispered, "Do you want to talk to Gidge? I know staying at home is driving her crazy, she wouldn't mind."</p><p>I shook my head, "Franky she had a car accident. She needs rest. I'll be fine okay?"</p><p>She didn't seem to believe me but nodded anyway, I don't think I believed me either. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I didn't want to go home and sulk. I would overthink more than I already am and it would make me do something stupid like take drugs. I needed someone to distract me and pull me out of those thoughts. </p><p>I drove to the shelter and went looking for Kaz. Her door was open and she was sitting at her desk. I knocked and she looked up. "Bubba? What are you doing here, I thought you had work?"</p><p>"I did, I uh went home early."</p><p>Her smile faltered, "Allie what's wrong?"</p><p>"Kaz, I think I'm uh, I think I'm losing control. I need, I need a hit. I really need a hit."</p><p>She got up and pulled me in her office. She closed the door and had me sit down. She bent down and looked up at me, "What happened?"</p><p>"I-I fucked up. I hurt Bea and I just wish this would all go away. I wish this never happened, I wish I could just disappear. I want to die Kaz, I hurt her like really hurt her." I had started to cry and felt myself shaking. </p><p>"Bubba, what happened?"</p><p>"Last night, Bea got me a gift." I put my hand out and showed Kaz the bracelet. "We started to kiss and I got on top of her and I wanted to thank her and we've been-she's been getting more comfortable in the bedroom and so I thought that we could try something new. Not new to me but new to her. I asked her if she wanted to try it and she said yes and maybe I shouldn't have suggested it or I should have-"</p><p>"Allie, calm down. Breathe, tell me what happened."</p><p>"I asked her, if I could use something on her. Like a toy and she said yes but I think it reminded her of sex with-it reminded her of him. She started crying and I got off of her immediately but Kaz I hurt her. I should have known better, I should have never pushed her to say yes."</p><p>"Allie, did you force her?"</p><p>"No but-"</p><p>She interrupted me, "Allie, Bea didn't even know how she was going to react, how were you supposed to?"</p><p>"She told me today that last night she had a feeling that she wasn't ready for that and that she went along anyway because of me. If I had noticed her discomfort or her unreadiness none of this would have ever happened."</p><p>"Allie, you couldn't have known. This isn't you fault."</p><p>"Kaz, I hurt her. I hurt her in an intimate way. You didn't see the way she reacted, the panic in her eyes. I brought her back to that place."</p><p>"You didn't mean to. You cannot blame yourself for this, getting high isn't going to make things better. It's going to make things worse. It will hurt Bea even more of you went out and scored."</p><p>"I'm an idiot."</p><p>"No you aren't, Allie it was unintentional."</p><p>"I didn't mean to hurt her Kaz."</p><p>"I know you didn't bubba, come here." </p><p>Kaz hugged me as I cried. I wanted a fix so badly, I ached for it. It was the first time in years I felt this way. I usually only ever took drugs because I had to get ready for sex with a John, it helped numb the pain. I wanted to feel that way again, I wanted to numb the pain deep inside of me. I just wanted all of this to go away.</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>After spending hours forcing myself to work I got home. Allie's car was in the driveway and I walked inside the house. "Allie?" I saw her sitting on the couch. "Allie."</p><p>She looked up at me and I know she had been crying. I sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, "Allie, talk to me."</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>"You don't need to be sorry. Things happen, it's okay, I'm okay."</p><p>She shook her head and got up, "I should have never done that to you. It's not okay."</p><p>"Allie, I agreed to it, you didn't force me or push me to say yes. I wanted to try."</p><p>"But I saw you, I saw the way your eyes shut off and the way you winced when I moved inside of you."</p><p>"Allie, if I thought I would have reacted the way I did when you used the strap-on on me, I would have said no. I wasn't sure."</p><p>"But you had a feeling, I should have sensed it."</p><p>"You aren't a mind reader Allie."</p><p>"I should have known." She walked over to the kitchen counter and put her face in her hands. </p><p>I came up behind her and put my hands on her back. "Allie please, look at me."</p><p>She turned around and looked at me. </p><p>I took a deep breath and held her face in my hands, "I am not upset, I am not angry, I am not hurt or in pain. What happened last night was just an experiment okay? Now we know, I know, I'm not ready for that. I don't know if I'll ever be ready for it."</p><p>"You told me when we first talked about the strap that you weren't ready for it. I should have been more careful and considered that more before even suggesting it."</p><p>"Allie, I agreed to it. I wanted to try, nothing you did was wrong. You stopped when I asked you to, you realized I wasn't comfortable and you stopped."</p><p>"You were scared. I saw the look in your eyes. You were afraid."</p><p>"For a sec, but I remembered where I was and who I was with. I was safe and I was with you. I know you would never hurt me."</p><p>"I would rather die."</p><p>"Baby, please believe me. I am okay. I was shaken for a second but I am fine now. I don't want you to take what happened last night as the end of us or the end of us being intimate. Allie, I've seen the way you've been all day, you're afraid to touch me, to look at me, to kiss me."</p><p>"I don't want to hurt you."</p><p>"You've never hurt me before, you would never do it intentionally. I don't want you to push yourself away thinking that's what I want. I want you, I want us. I know you think that no longer being affectionate with me is going to help me but it doesn't. I need you, I love you. Please, please, please, come back to me."</p><p>Allie looked at me and brought me close to her. Out foreheads connected and she kissed me, "I'm sorry. Baby I'm so sorry."</p><p>"It's okay. We're okay."</p><p>"I hated myself for what I did to you."</p><p>"It wasn't you fault Allie."</p><p>"I've never wanted to feel so numb."</p><p>I gave Allie a confused look. She looked at me with guilt and pulled a little baggie out of her pocket. It had white powder in it. </p><p>"I bought it after leaving Kaz's. I haven't taken anything but I wanted to."</p><p>I grabbed the baggie from Allie's hand. "Would you have?"</p><p>"It's the first time I've wanted to, just to feel something other than this." She rubbed her chest and I put my hand on the side of her face. </p><p>"I need you to know and accept that last night was not your fault. We'll get through it, I can get through it. But this," I said indicating to the bag in my hand, "We cannot come back from this if you ever do it again."</p><p>She looked at me with sadness. </p><p>"Do you hear me? I love you so much, and I meant it when I said you are the love of my life. But you cannot bring this shit into my house. So, this is it Allie, you just used your get out of jail free card with me, you only get one."</p><p>Allie quickly nodded with tears in her eyes. I grabbed her hand and led her to the bathroom. I gave her back the baggie and looked at her, "Flush it."</p><p>She instantly threw the bag into the toilet and flushed it. She looked back at me, "I'm sorry."</p><p>"I know. Come to bed with me. I want you to hold me, and I want you to not be afraid to touch me." I put my hand out and she grabbed it. </p><p>I changed into more comfortable clothing and climbed into bed, it was still really early but I was exhausted and needed to close my eyes for a bit. Allie crawled into bed with me and I put my head on her chest. I wrapped my arms around her waist and felt her start to rub my back. I looked up at her, "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I got home to Gidge's mom cooking and Gidge and her dad playing a card game. "How was work baby?" Gidge asked.</p><p>"Work was work, another day." I kissed her and said hello to her mom and dad. I went to go get out of my clothes and sat down on the bed as I took my shoes off. Gidge came over to sit next to me. </p><p>"Baby, did something happen?"</p><p>"I'm not sure. I think so but I don't know. It's Red, something happened with Novak but they wouldn't talk about it. It didn't seem good."</p><p>"Do you want me to call her?"</p><p>"I asked, she said she didn't want to bug ya. I'll ask her again tomorrow I'm just worried."</p><p>Gidge kissed my cheek and put her hand in mine.</p><p>I looked at her and kissed her, "I was thinking, your parents should come for dinner at the restaurant on Saturday. They could see the place and taste my amazing cooking."</p><p>"They already have."</p><p>"They can taste it again."</p><p>Gidge smiled, "I think they'd like that. Dad wants to rent a car so we can go to the insurance company and a dealership."</p><p>"You guys could take my car."</p><p>"You need you car and you can't take off from work. It's okay, dad insisted."</p><p>"Righto." I kissed her and she moved to kiss my neck. "Come on Gidge, you parents are out there."</p><p>"I know, but I miss you."</p><p>"I miss you too spunky, don't worry. Once you're all better and we have the place to ourselves, I'm putting you to work."</p><p>Gidge laughed and kissed me again. We stood up and went to go eat with her parents.</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea fell asleep in my arms and I kissed her forehead while I continued to rub her back. The guilt I had over what we did last night still plagued me, but I also felt bad for making her work harder to make me feel better when I should be the one helping her. Even though I bought the drugs, I'm not sure if I had any intention on using them, or maybe I did. I was alone for enough time, I could have gotten high but I didn't. I don't even know why I told Bea, I know she hated drugs more than anything. It was stupid for me to have shown it to her but I couldn't lie. She'd never forgive me if I did. </p><p>I heard the door open and looked over at the time, it was near 8pm. I slowly got up and walked out of the bedroom. </p><p>Debbie saw me, "Hey, it's all quiet. What's up?"</p><p>"Ah nothing much, your mom has a headache and took a nap."</p><p>"Are you feeling better?"</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"Yeah, mom said you had a bad night and you were tired."</p><p>"Yeah, I'm good, better now. Have you eaten?"</p><p>"We picked something up right after school but it has been a long time since then."</p><p>I smiled and laughed, "Well, I'm no cook in comparison to your mom. Do you just want to order a pizza?"</p><p>"Sure." Debbie went to her room and I called for the pizza. </p><p>I went back to the bedroom and saw Bea sleeping peacefully. I kissed her forehead and rubbed my nose against hers. She stirred a bit and looked at me, "Morning?"</p><p>"Not quite, you fell asleep. It's around eight, Debbie came home and I ordered a pizza. Wanted to see if you were hungry."</p><p>"Sure, but first." She put her hand out and she pulled me towards her. "Kiss me."</p><p>I looked her in her eyes and put my lips near hers. I met her eyes again and kissed her. She smiled at me and got up, "Now we can go."</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Guilt Trip</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>I opened my eyes and looked at the clock to see it was 5am, as much as I tried I couldn't get back to sleep. I had my arms wrapped around Allie who was facing away from me. I carefully removed my arms and grabbed some workout clothes from my drawers. I grabbed my phone and walked to the garage. I put my earphones in and started lifting some weights, I ran a bit on the treadmill, and did some squats. I got lost in the music and the time that I almost freaked out when I felt hands on me. </p><p>I turned around and let the fear leave my face when I saw Allie, "Fuck you scared me."</p><p>"Sorry, I kept calling your name but you didn't hear me."</p><p>I pulled the earbuds out, "Yeah, sorry."</p><p>"I was just worried, you weren't in bed."</p><p>"I couldn't sleep, decided to squeeze in a morning workout."</p><p>"You're insane. Morning's are meant for sleeping."</p><p>"And if I followed that, when exactly in the day would I workout?"</p><p>"Hmm, never."</p><p>I laughed and went to grab my towel to wipe the sweat off of my face. I saw Allie staring, "What?"</p><p>"Nothing."</p><p>"You're staring."</p><p>"Am not."</p><p>I smiled and walked over to her, I pulled her in for a kiss and felt her move her hands to squeeze my arms. "Fuck, I will never get over that."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and looked at the time. An hour and a half had passed since I had woken up, I could keep going or... "Come with me." I grabbed Allie's hand and made her follow me to the restroom. "I need a shower, and you are coming to work with me today so why not save water?"</p><p>Allie looked at me, "Bea I don't know, maybe it's too soon."</p><p>I put the towel and my phone to the side and looked at her, "Are you saying no?"</p><p>Allie shrugged. </p><p>"That's a shame." I kicked my shoes off and pulled my shirt over my head exposing my sports bra. Allie stared at my stomach and back at me. I slowly pulled my leggings down and kicked them towards my shoes. "Are you sure you aren't interested?" She continued to stay quiet while still looking at me. I turned the water on and pulled my bra and underwear off. I stepped into the shower and saw Allie struggling to decide on whether to join me or leave. I made eye contact with her and put two fingers in my mouth. Her attention was all on me while I sucked on my fingers. I moved my leg a bit and started to rub my clit while never ending eye contact. I opened my mouth slightly as I added a bit of pressure and I closed my eyes when I moved my fingers inside. I threw my head back, letting the water cascade against my skin but continuing to finger myself. Seconds later Allie had come into the shower with me and put her hand on top of mine. I smiled as I felt her push against my hand, she kissed me hungrily and I moaned when she circled my clit while I continued to pump my fingers inside of me. "Fuck."</p><p>I was close and needed to come. "Allie, help me please, I need to cum. I want you."</p><p>She nodded and I removed my fingers, mine were quickly replaced by hers and she wasted no time getting me closer. I wrapped my leg around her as she pumped in and out and I groaned when she started to suck and slightly bite my neck. "Allie....I need...I need to cum."</p><p>"Let go for me baby."</p><p>My eyes shut when I came and she let me ride out my orgasm. I kissed her deeply, "I'm glad you joined."</p><p>"You kind of made it hard to say no." She slightly smiled, "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"</p><p>I shook my head, "I am fine, you didn't hurt me. I wanted you. Allie, I don't want you to be afraid to touch me."</p><p>"But what if what happened the other night, happens again?"</p><p>"You and I have never had a problem before. I like when you touch me," I licked up her neck and slightly tugged at her earlobe, "I love when you fuck me, when you make love to me. I love when you do it. Maybe strap ons and toys are just not for me."</p><p>"Well, lucky for you Bea Smith, I am very good with my hands and my mouth." I grinned as she pushed me up against the wall and moved to cup my breast. "We can get rid of all that crap."</p><p>"Wait, but you like it."</p><p>"Sure, but if it makes you uncomfortable-"</p><p>"Having it around doesn't make me uncomfortable. Using it on you, doesn't make me uncomfortable. I like making you feel good, and you like all of that. We can keep it for you, I would just rather not have it used on me."</p><p>"Okay." She kissed me and we finished showering together. I got started on breakfast while Allie went to get dressed. Once I finished making breakfast, I got dressed and Allie and Deb ate. We dropped Deb off at school, I reminded her that she went to school to learn, not to drool over Nat. She told me how uncool I was before telling me she loved me to the moon and back. </p><p>Allie and I got to work and Franky was talking to Liz about new menu changes she wanted to implement, "The duo is back. Feeling better Novak?"</p><p>"Much." Allie kissed me before going to drop her stuff off in the back. </p><p>Franky walked me to the stairs, "All good?"</p><p>"We're good. I told you we would work through it."</p><p>"Righto, well, if you want to give Gidge a call you can. She's losing her mind at home, she'd appreciate the distraction."</p><p>I slightly nodded, "Sure. I'll call her later."</p><p>Franky nodded and I went up to my office. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I felt like I had recovered enough from my accident yet my mom wouldn't let me do a thing for myself, God forbid I'd like to wash a dish in my own house let alone put it in the sink. It was driving me insane. She probably would have done this regardless if I had had an accident or not. At least I would have had work to distract me. </p><p>I know she meant well and I was probably being a brat for complaining its just she could be a little much sometimes. My dad did his best trying to distract her or to get her focus somewhere else. He knew how hands on she could be, especially with me. </p><p>"Mom, I don't need another plate of food, I had breakfast two hours ago."</p><p>"But sweetheart, you need to get nutrients and vitamins in you. You're looking very thin Bridget."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and my dad winked at me. I heard my cell phone ring and tried to get up to get it. </p><p>"It's alright sweetheart, I'll get it." My mom walked to the dining table.</p><p>I groaned. "Mom, it could be important."</p><p>"It says its a Bea Smith. I thought you weren't supposed to start work until Thursday, you shouldn't be bothered. I'll tell her to call back."</p><p>"No! She's a friend, she's Franky's best friend. She's probably just checking on me, I'll take that." I grabbed the phone from my mom's hand and went to the patio. I let go of my deep breath and answered, "Hello."</p><p>"Hey Bridget, it's Bea."</p><p>"Thank God."</p><p>"Sorry?"</p><p>"You have no idea what you just saved me from, my mother is driving me mental. I'm probably happier to get your call than you are to call me."</p><p>"Glad to be of help." Bea joked. </p><p>"So, how are you doing? Franky mentioned you seemed a bit stressed yesterday."</p><p>"Yeah, I was a bit on the edge."</p><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"</p><p>I heard a sigh on the other side, "Allie and I...we had a bit of a minor issue come up."</p><p>"Did you two fight?"</p><p>"Not exactly. It's a little more personal than that."</p><p>"Personal as in intimate?"</p><p>"Yeah. Sunday night, Allie and I were starting to have sex when she asked if she could use the strap on on me."</p><p>"Did you not like the idea?"</p><p>"I didn't hate the idea of it but I didn't love it either. Any time we ever used the strap on it was me wearing it and using it on Allie. I had never been on the reciprocating side of things."</p><p>"Did you want to try it?"</p><p>"Yes, but...I also knew that I didn't."</p><p>"Did you voice these concerns to Allie?"</p><p>"No. I let her use it on me and things went badly very quickly." </p><p>"What happened Bea."</p><p>"She was careful you know? She slid it it slowly and it hurt a bit but I thought it was okay. But when she started to move I just...for whatever reason my mind couldn't acknowledge that it wasn't him. I just felt myself losing it and I felt like it was him all over again. I freaked out and closed my eyes hoping that it would help but it didn't. I started to cry and I asked Allie to stop."</p><p>"Did she stop?"</p><p>"Immediately."</p><p>"How did you feel once it was over?"</p><p>"Relieved. And I was sure I never wanted to do that again. But Allie-I scared her."</p><p>"How did Allie react?"</p><p>"She freaked out because she hurt me. She didn't mean to but she couldn't stop blaming herself. We had trouble talking about it because Allie couldn't stop blaming herself."</p><p>"Bea, how are you feeling?"</p><p>"I do feel better now. We talked about it and I reassured her I was okay. It just seems like she's still hesitant to touch me. I practically had to lure her into having sex with me this morning. I just don't want this to be a thing where she is afraid to touch me. I don't want her to think I can't handle sex."</p><p>"When you had sex this morning with Allie, did you feel okay? Did you panic at all or get nervous."</p><p>"No, I was fine."</p><p>"Well, then that's a good thing. You're able to understand the distinctions of when you're comfortable having sex with Allie and when you aren't. If you were able to have sex this morning without feeling forced or uneasy, then you're doing alright. </p><p>"I hope so, I just thought we were passed all of that."</p><p>"Bea, feelings of panic when having sex or even being slightly intimate with someone can come up any time. Depending on stress, your mood, anxiousness, you can subconsciously bring these thoughts on without realizing. You knew you weren't ready and tried for Allie, your mind was aware of your bodies uneasiness and felt trapped. It's natural that your mind confused scenarios and made you feel like you were with someone else in a much more unpleasant situation." </p><p>"I know, but I'm just worried about Allie."</p><p>"Did you explain to her that it had nothing to do with her?"</p><p>"Yes, but she still took it personally. She's afraid to hurt me again. And, yesterday, Bridget she bought drugs."</p><p>"Are you sure?"</p><p>"She showed it to me. She said she bought them but didn't take them."</p><p>"Do you believe her?"</p><p>"Yes. She seemed afraid to tell me."</p><p>"But she did tell you, and she did show you. Maybe that was her way of asking for help."</p><p>"How do I help her? She's still clean but I don't want her to relapse because of me."</p><p>"Show her your support. She wanted to show you, she didn't take the drugs because she doesn't want to go back to being an addict. Maybe, for a second she wanted to feel that high again, but she remembered everything she has gained. Remind her of that, remind her that she is loved and important."</p><p>"Thank you Bridget, I didn't want to bother you. Franky kept saying you wouldn't mind."</p><p>"Believe me, I don't. Not working is killing me. This phone call saved my life."</p><p>Bea laughed and we said goodbye. I thought about how difficult that must have been for both of them, individually and together. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Talking to Bridget did make me feel better, but I wanted to make Allie feel like she didn't need drugs. I just didn't know how to do it. I had no expertise in that area. I wanted Allie to feel supported. </p><p>I picked up my phone and texted Kaz. I asked if we could meet sometime this week to talk about Allie. </p><p>I got a response 15 minutes later saying she was free anytime tomorrow. We set up to meet for coffee in the morning. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I was surprised to hear from Bea but it also brought me some fear. Allie had texted me this morning saying her and Bea were better so I was a bit confused. </p><p>I heard a knock on my door and smiled when I saw Will, "Ready for lunch."</p><p>"Yes." We walked to his car and he drove to this panini bar that he swore had the best sandwiches he'd ever had. We got seated and he got up to use the restroom. He quickly kissed me before leaving the table. I looked at the menu but felt like someone was staring at me. I nonchalantly did a quick look around and noticed an older women looking over at me. I tried to think back and I didn't recognize her from anywhere, I think I would have remembered if I had. Maybe I was just imagining things. </p><p>Will came back and sat next to me at the booth. He asked if I had made my mind up on anything and I said I still wasn't sure. "Well, I know what I want." He kissed me and I laughed when he whispered something in my ear. </p><p>I made up my mind and the waitress came over to take my order. I noticed the woman was still staring. I couldn't be making this up. But I didn't know her, I was sure of it. </p><p>"What's got you so distracted?" He asked me while he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. </p><p>"There's this woman staring at me, she has been since we got here and I'm trying to figure out why?"</p><p>"Do you know her?"</p><p>"Nuh."</p><p>I told him where she was and he looked over. They locked eyes and the woman got up and left the restaurant. </p><p>"Shit. Kaz, give me a minute." Will got up and ran after her. </p><p>I could see him talking to her outside. She seemed angry. After some short time Will came back inside looking a little less happy. </p><p>"Who was that?"</p><p>"Meg's mom."</p><p>"Oh. Is she alright?"</p><p>"She's just a bit angry with me. I kind of lost touch after Meg died and moved on with my life. I guess I wanted to just forget all the bad that had happened and I pushed her and her husband away. Seeing me, she got upset, rightfully so but I think she was also a little pissed that I had moved on."</p><p>"Did she say that?"</p><p>"I reworded it to sound a lot nicer."</p><p>"Are you okay?"</p><p>"Yeah I'm fine, it's just weird I guess. She's apart of my old life, the one I had with Meg. And you're apart of my new one." I rubbed his back and he looked over at me, "Sorry about all of this."</p><p>"You didn't know she was going to be here."</p><p>"I know but still." </p><p>"It's alright. Are you sure you're alright? We can go if you want."</p><p>"No, I'm good. Let's just enjoy this meal, I'm starved and I promised you a great lunch." He kissed me again and we both tried to forget about the previous events. </p><p>When we got back to the shelter, I could tell that it was still weighing heavy on his mind. I wanted to help him or try to distract him but I wasn't sure how. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>By the end of the day I felt a bit better than I had the day before or even this morning. I went downstairs to put up the rosters for the next coming weeks. Allie came over to look at it and kissed me, "No more weekends!"</p><p>"For a few weeks, you know I have to rotate the shifts to make it fair."</p><p>"I know, but thank God. I hate coming to work when you aren't here."</p><p>I looked at her and smiled, "Hey, do you have any plans for Saturday night?"</p><p>"Let me check my very busy schedule." Allie paused for a second, "No."</p><p>I laughed, "I might need your help with something, I can't tell you what it is but you're just going to have to trust me and play along."</p><p>She grinned, "I can handle that. I like when you boss me around." She pushed me near a blindspot and kissed me. She whispered in my ear, "I love when you tell me what to do."</p><p>I grinned, "Good, get back to work."</p><p>"Ouch, shut down."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her again, "If you do as you're told, you might get rewarded tonight."</p><p>Allie smiled and quickly kissed me again, "Yes ma'am." She ran off and I laughed as I saw her quickly rush away.</p><p>When I finished my tasks for the day, I waited for Allie to finish up. Once she did I drove us home and started to cook. Debbie was coming home a little later because she had a group project she had to work on. </p><p>Allie had been in the bedroom for a while and I decided to go in to get changed. She was sitting on the bed just looking at her hands. I sat next to her and slipped my hand in between hers, "What's on your mind beautiful girl?"</p><p>"Just these past couple of days I guess. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I'm not talking about the sex stuff, I'm talking about the being afraid to touch you and the drugs."</p><p>I sighed and looked at her, "I wasn't shocked that you were afraid to touch me. The drugs did surprise me though. Allie, you know that no matter what happened between the two of us, I would rather you be honest with me about how you're feeling than to subdue it all and go out thinking that would solve your problems."</p><p>"I thought you would have killed me once I had shown you the baggie."</p><p>"I know you were struggling, and I have forgiven you for it, but please please, don't ever do it again."</p><p>"I won't, I swear."</p><p>"Good. Because I can't have that around my daughter. I already worry that she'll be offered it at parties or given it to her by her friends. I don't want to have to worry that she'd stumble across it here at home."</p><p>"It will never happen again. I promise."</p><p>I kissed her and I got up. I started to remove my clothes so I could change into some more comfortable ones. "Hey uh, could you take your car to work tomorrow? I told Will I'd meet him for coffee in the morning."</p><p>"Sure. Are you coming in late?"</p><p>"Just a bit, won't be too long."</p><p>"Good." She kissed me and I went to finish dinner. </p><p>Kaz POV</p><p>Will and I got to his place and he seemed a bit shut off. I think seeing his former mother-in-law really put him out of it. He was sitting on the couch, pretending to watch tv, I sat next to him and put my hand on his knee. "Do you want to talk?"</p><p>He shrugged, "Not sure how good it's going to make me look."</p><p>I frowned, "What do you mean?"</p><p>He turned the tv off. "Before Meg died, she and I had been fighting a bit. It wasn't huge angry fights but we had some words with each other. I wanted kids and she wasn't ready. But, she was never ready, she would always put it off. And I get it, you know, a lot of women want their careers first before having a family and I was more than understanding. But I just felt like she was never going to agree and I would have rathered for her to have told me that than just making me false promises. The day she died, we had the biggest argument we had ever had. I was pissed off and she told me she was going to work. I told her not to bother coming back, she was more married to the job than she was to me anyway. That's the last thing I ever said to her."</p><p>"Oh Will."</p><p>"She died thinking I hated her."</p><p>"That isn't true Will. You two were married, she would have know that they were just words, they didn't mean anything."</p><p>"She called her mom every time we had a fight, she called her that day and told her what I said. Her mom blames me for her accident, hell, I blame me for her accident. Maybe I distracted her, maybe if I hadn't said anything."</p><p>"Will, you did not plan for your wife to get in a car accident that day. You told me she got hit by a drunk driver, there was no way any of this could have been your fault."</p><p>Will started to get teary eyed and I brought his head to lay on my chest. "It's my fault Kaz."</p><p>"No it isn't. You can't control the shit life throws at us. You can't keep this blame and this guilt Will, you have to let it go."</p><p>"Her mom hates me, she never stopped blaming me. When she saw us together, she hated that I was happy. She said I didn't deserve happiness. Maybe she's right."</p><p>I forced him to look at me as he cried, "You deserve happiness, you deserve love, and you deserve to get on with your life. Do you hear me? You did not cause Meg's accident. You couldn't have known what would have happened that day. You cannot continue to live with this hate towards yourself. You, are a good man."</p><p>I held him as he cried and wanted nothing more than to take all the pain he had from him so he could live without this constant ache.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello all. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving if you celebrate. Sorry for taking so long with this chapter, for some reason professors think holiday's mean more time for school work and papers.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Helping Hand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV </p><p>I woke up to see Will still sleeping. I moved to kiss his cheek and to caress his face. He struggled to get to sleep last night. I carefully moved so I could get up without waking him, which ended up not working anyway because the second I moved away from him he was pulling back into his embrace. "No go."</p><p>I laughed and kissed him, "You're a child."</p><p>He kissed me, "Don't get up, not yet. Stay with me a little while longer."</p><p>"I promised Bea we'd meet for coffee."</p><p>"Just a little bit more."</p><p>I kissed him and let him hold me. He moved me so I was directly underneath him and he kissed me deeply. I knew what he was doing and what it is he wanted, "Will Jackson I have to get up and leave and this will make me very late."</p><p>"Oh well." He smiled and kissed me. </p><p>After a quickie and a shower, I was able to escape his grasp promising him I wouldn't be long and would see him at work. I barely made it on time to the coffee shop that Bea and I had set up to meet at. I saw her sitting down at a table and walked over, "Hey."</p><p>"Hey, thank you for coming."</p><p>"Of course, it sounded important."</p><p>"It is." She played with her cup as the waitress brought over my coffee. </p><p>"So? What's going on?"</p><p>"Allie told me something and I don't want you to get upset because I know how passionate you are about this and how much you love Allie. Part of me wanted to throw a fit but it seems like maybe she was asking for help."</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"Allie bought drugs the other day. After she and I worked out our differences she showed me."</p><p>I felt the worry set in, "Did she take any?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"She told me she was tempted, that she wanted to but I thought I had talked her out of it."</p><p>"I guess she was struggling more than we thought she was. I just, I don't know how to help her. I've never had to deal with this before. I want to do what's right but I'm afraid of making a mistake and causing her to relapse."</p><p>"You can't cause Allie to relapse. Whatever decisions Allie makes are her own. You didn't know that what happened that night would have scared her enough into buying drugs. I've had to learn the hard way that it's not enough to want someone to stay clean, they have to want it too. I think Allie doesn't want to relapse again, I just think she's afraid and when she feels afraid and like she might lose something or someone she relies on drugs to make her feel something again."</p><p>"How do I help her?"</p><p>"Allie's love language involves words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time. Combining words of affirmation and quality time could help her fully accept that there is more to life than a quick high. She knows that already, she just needs to be reminded of it once in a while. Talking is important, remind her that no matter what happens, you would rather talk about it than to see her shut off. You only need to worry if she separates herself from you, if you ever notice detachment happening, its because she's struggling. Allie just needs someone to listen to her, someone who is patient and not judgmental. You already live in an environment that is substance free so she doesn't have to worry about relapsing due to temptation, she just needs distractions and habits that keep her happy and busy."</p><p>"You make it sound easy."</p><p>"Years of practice." I smiled. "Look, I know it's hard, but she just needs to know you're there for her. I should have kept a closer eye on her. I didn't think she'd actually go out to score."</p><p>"Neither of us knew. She seems to be okay now."</p><p>"Good. I hated when she was on the gear before but it wasn't as scary if she was shooting up because she was still on drugs. It's worse when they're clean."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"When you're clean for too long, your body gets used to not having that shit in it. When you are constantly using, your body develops a tolerance to the drugs, when you stop that tolerance diminishes. If Allie were to take a hit now, the way she used to when she was working, it could kill her. Her body isn't accustomed to the drugs anymore, recovering addicts overdose more than addicts who still use up because they think they can still handle the amount of drugs they once used to take."</p><p>"I hadn't thought about it that way. She can't Kaz. I don't know what I'd do if that ever happened."</p><p>"That's why having your support, your love, will keep her off that path. She just needs to be reminded of all the good in life to temper out all the bad."</p><p>Bea nodded, "Thank you. I do appreciate this."</p><p>"Glad to be of help." I took a sip of coffee and looked at her, "Could I ask for some advice?"</p><p>"Of course if I can help."</p><p>"Will's been reminded of Meg and her death and I think it's taking a pretty heavy toll on him and I'm just not sure how to help him."</p><p>"Maybe you already are. As long as I have know Will, he never talks about Meg, ever. He's done that with you. He trusts you Kaz."</p><p>"I just want to do something for him that will uplift him a bit, something that would make him happy and just forget about all of that pain."</p><p>Bea smiled, "I think I might be able to help with that."</p><p>After a quick stop at a shop with Bea I showed up at the shelter with a bag and knocked on Will's office door. "Hello."</p><p>"Hey, how was the coffee date?"</p><p>"Good, yeah. We talked about Allie and it was good." I kissed him quickly. "I also used that opportunity to have Bea help me with something." I handed him the bag. </p><p>He raised an eyebrow in curiosity and opened the bag. "Oh yeah! This is amazing." He pulled the leather Harley Davidson jacket out and put it on. </p><p>"Bea said that this jacket was great for riding or whatever. I don't understand any of it but she said you'd like it."</p><p>He came over and kissed me, "I love it. Thank you. You didn't have to."</p><p>"I wanted to. I love you and I wanted to give you something to lift your spirits up a bit. It's obviously not going to fix everything and fix how you're feeling, but I was hoping it might make you a bit happier. And I'd like to see you wear it when you take me riding on Saturday."</p><p>He beamed a huge smile and pulled me into a kiss. "Thank you, I love you too. I can't wait for Saturday. I think you're using this as an excuse to start admitting that you actually love the bike."</p><p>I scoffed and kissed him, "Whatever makes you happy baby."</p><p>He winked at me and his eyes lit up looking at his new jacket. </p><p>FAST FORWARD TO SATURDAY</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Franky hadn't stopped texting and calling and making sure everything was ready for tonight. Allie kept asking about what it was we were doing. I wrapped my arms around her, "Just trust me. It's something good and for someone we care about so just play along with me."</p><p>"Fine. Can I get a kiss?" </p><p>I grinned and kissed her, "Come on, we have to go."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I was a nervous wreck. I was sweating and I couldn't stop pacing. Gidge didn't seem to think anything go tonight, just that her parents were finally going to come to the restaurant. She was in better spirits because she had gone back to work on Thursday. She still had some pain from the accident but she was doing much better. </p><p>Red had told me everything was coming along and that it would all work out. Parts of me still felt like there was a huge chance she could say no which absolutely terrified me. Gidge was getting ready for tonight and Gidge's dad came over to sit next to me, "You look the way I did when I was getting ready to propose to Bridget's mother."</p><p>"Scared shitless?"</p><p>He laughed, "Exactly. But, I'm going to give you some advice Franky."</p><p>"Please."</p><p>"Stop worrying. Bridget loves you and you love her. There is no chance in hell she would say no."</p><p>"It's just a bit troublesome ya know? I don't know what I would do if she said no."</p><p>"Well, the good thing is you don't have to think about that because she won't say no."</p><p>When we got to the restaurant, Liz showed us to a closed offed area. Bea made sure it wasn't visible to the rest of the restaurant because I know Gidge wouldn't want everyone looking making her nervous. "Welcome to my place." I smiled. </p><p>"It's beautiful Franky." Gidge's mom smiled. </p><p>We all sat down and Doreen came to get our order. I made some recommendations and Gidge's mom and dad told stories about Gidge's childhood which she was embarrassed by. It was turning out to be a great evening and as things got later, it was time. </p><p>"Hello everybody, I hope you're all having a good night and enjoyed your dinner." Red came out. </p><p>Gidge turned to look at her, "I didn't know you were working today."</p><p>"Oh, special delivery." Red pulled out a bouquet of white roses. "For a very lovely lady." She handed them to Gidge.</p><p>"Oi, she's mine stop hitting on my girl."</p><p>"Oh Bea, they're beautiful but I don't understand. What's going on?" Gidge asked.</p><p>"Well, they actually aren't from me. And tonight, isn't just about bringing your parents here to try Franky's food. If you would all follow me." </p><p>We all stood up, Gidge looked oblivious to what was going on. We followed Red to an exit near our table. Novak was outside standing near a wall covered with red roses and white ones that spelled out 'I Love You.' There was a small table near it with a bottle of champagne. Gidge looked at it and back at me, "Franky what's going on?"</p><p>I smiled and looked at her, "Bridget, from the moment I met you, I knew you were special and were meant to be in my life. I chased you because part of me wanted a challenge, but another part of me knew that you were going to be important to me. You have never judged me and you have only ever loved me. You have taught me what it is like to live in the moment and to want a future with another person. You, you are my person, you are the love of my life." I grabbed her hands. "When I found out about your accident and I saw you laying in that hospital bed, I thought I almost lost you. And, it made me realize how short life is and how stupid I would be to waste any more of it. I want you and all that that means." </p><p>Gidge looked at me and I knew she could tell what was going to happen next. I dropped to one knee and pulled the ring out. "Bridget Westfall, will you marry me?"</p><p>"Yes, yes, yes Franky. Yes I'll marry you." She laughed through tears and I put the ring on her finger. I got back up and kissed her. "How long have you been planning this?"</p><p>"About a week."</p><p>She smiled and kissed me again. "Baby, it's beautiful."</p><p>"Thank my helper over there, looks like Red's got good taste in jewelry."</p><p>"Nope, this is all Franky. Her plans, her ideas." Red interjected. </p><p>Gidge kissed me again and looked at the ring. "I can't believe this." She turned to look at her parents, "Did you know?"</p><p>"Franky asked us for your hand in marriage the day we got here." </p><p>Gidge looked back at me, "Thank you. I love you." She kissed me, "I love you."</p><p>I smiled and she ran over to her mom to show her the ring up in person. </p><p>I walked over the Red and hugged her, "I love ya Red. Thank you."</p><p>Red laughed and hugged me back, "Can't believe you're growing up before my very own eyes. You're getting married!"</p><p>"Alright get off. But since the topic is here, would you be my best man?"</p><p>"Of course I'd be your best man. Who else would put up with you?"</p><p>"Piss off."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie was taking photos of Franky and Bridget standing near the wall and showcasing the ring. Franky popped open the champagne bottle and poured some glasses. Allie brought me one and kissed me, "Nice surprise babe."</p><p>"I would have told you but had to be top secret."</p><p>"I understand, you'll just have to make it up to me tonight, and tomorrow, and the day after."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her. "I think I can handle that."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will and I got back from our drive on the bike. "Do you want me to make something or order something to eat?" I asked.</p><p>"We can order something. Whatever you want I'm cool with." He kissed my head and went to go shower. </p><p>I ordered some Chinese and waited for Will to get out of the shower. He came out in some shorts and was drying himself off. "What are we having?"</p><p>"Chinese."</p><p>"Wonderful." He kissed me and sat with me on the couch. He rubbed my thigh and looked over at me, "Thank you for today. I really needed a drive. Helps clear my head."</p><p>"Are you alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm just-I don't know. I know I shouldn't feel guilt, but I do."</p><p>"You can't keep doing this to yourself Will. She loved you, you loved her. Killing yourself over something you couldn't control is something you shouldn't live with."</p><p>"I'm lucky to have you, you know that? I never thought I'd ever have something like this again."</p><p>"I never thought I'd have anything like this, ever."</p><p>He pulled me so I was straddling him and kissing him. He moved his hands so he was rubbing my thighs, then he moved to cup my ass. I moaned as he kissed down my neck. I moved my hands so they were on his chest. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me on the bed. I quickly removed my blouse and tried to get out of my jeans. He pressed kisses on my stomach and the doorbell rang. He groaned and looked up at me, "Wonderful timing."</p><p>I pulled him into a kiss, "Well, hurry up and we can get back to this."</p><p>He ran off and I slipped out of my jeans. He came back seconds later and practically jumped on top of me. I laughed as he gave me an exciting look and he kissed me. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I never saw it coming. I knew Franky loved me, and I knew she was frightened about the car accident, but I had no idea she was planning on asking me to marry her. I never saw myself as being someone's wife but when Franky asked, yes felt right. I couldn't have been happier. </p><p>Franky drove us all home and my parents tucked in early, they had an early flight in the morning. Franky and I went to the bedroom and I walked over and kissed her deeply, "You trickster, planning this without telling me."</p><p>"Had to be a surprise Gidge. I'm so glad you said yes, I was shitting bricks thinking you'd say no."</p><p>"I could never say no to you." I kissed her and pushed her onto the bed. I pushed her coat off and stepped out of my heels. I kissed her and moved myself so I was standing in between her open legs. She moved her hand to cup my ass and I pushed her so she was laying down. I unzipped my dress and stepped out of it. </p><p>"Gidge, we can't. Your parents."</p><p>"My parents are heavy sleepers," I nipped her ear and whispered, "And I trust you can be quiet can't you baby?" I heard her groan as I scraped my teeth against her neck and had moved my hand to feel up her breast. "So, can you?" I sucked on her neck and started to unzip her pants. </p><p>"Fuck Gidge, but what if-"</p><p>I shut her up with a kiss, "I understand. I just really wanted to touch you, to have you touch me. I really was hoping that you would finally fuck me after so long of not touching me. I'm so wet thinking of you, thinking of your hands all over me. All I've thought about was having your mouth on me, having my mouth on you. I wanted to show you just how much I love you but," I kissed her again, "I understand."</p><p>I went to get up and felt Franky pull back on top of her. She kissed me and put her leg in between mine. "You can't just leave me high and dry after that. Ya minx."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her, "So do your best and be as silent as possible, be a good girl and let me take care of you baby." Franky eyes filled with arousal and I kissed her sensually. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea and I were laying in bed and I was kissing her forehead. I ran my fingers down her back and looked up at her, "You're a good friend."</p><p>She shrugged, "It was nothing."</p><p>"Is that when you bought this?" I looked at my bracelet. </p><p>She nodded, "I wanted to get you something special."</p><p>I kissed her lips, "And it was. I love it. I love you."</p><p>"I love you too." She moved closer to me. </p><p>I stared at her as she closed her eyes, falling asleep. I kissed her forehead again. I felt my eyes start to close and I fell asleep holding Bea.</p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Ups and Downs</h2></a>
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    <p>Franky POV </p><p>It had been a couple of days since Gidge's parents left and Gidge's mom called everyday to make sure Gidge was doing alright and to talk about the wedding. Gidge seemed really happy about the engagement and loved the ring which made me happy. I was coming home from work and saw her looking at the ring, "Don't tell me, you hate it now." I joked.</p><p>"No way. It's beautiful baby. I can't stop looking at it. I was never one to care too much about jewelry but I do love this. Are you going to tell me how much it cost you because Vera reckons this couldn't have been cheap."</p><p>"Hmmm." I kissed her, "No."</p><p>"Franky."</p><p>"Gidget. It doesn't matter how much it cost okay. I'm thrilled you love it and that's all that matters." </p><p>"I do love it. I love you." She kissed me and I went to get started on dinner.</p><p>I felt her arms around my waist and she kissed my neck, "It feels so surreal. It feels like a dream. And I don't think I could ever be so happy to have someone's ring around my finger."</p><p>"You never cease to surprise me Gidge. You could have any girl in the world and you said yes to me."</p><p>"I don't want anyone else baby." I turned around and Gidge kissed me, "I have only ever wanted you. I'm the lucky one, you could decide at any moment that I'm too old for you and run off with someone your age."</p><p>"Oi, what have I told you about that? Your age has never mattered to me. You are the most beautiful woman in the world to me. No one could ever tear me away. And to think, that you're going to be my wife."</p><p>"I can't wait baby."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie had a bad day today. She woke up feeling more on the emotional side and struggled to get out of bed. It's not that anything bad had happened she was just a bit down. She didn't even feel like having dinner and went straight to bed. I went to go lay near her, "Do you want to talk about how you're feeling?"</p><p>"I can't explain it, and I can't explain why. I was fine yesterday and now everything feels like so much. I just feel overwhelmed for whatever reason. And it's nothing you've done or anything any one has done, it's me. I just feel stressed for stupid reasons." She started to cry. </p><p>I put my hand on her chest, "It's alright. We all get overwhelmed, you're allowed."</p><p>She put her hand over her face, "I just feel so stupid for feeling this way when everything is fine. Nothing is wrong, I just feel upset."</p><p>"Do you want to try something that I do when I feel overwhelmed?"</p><p>Allie nodded. I grabbed her hands and got her to sit up. "So, I generally do this on the floor but we could do this on the bed too."</p><p>Allie raised an eyebrow and I laughed, "Mind out of the gutter Alliecat."</p><p>I crossed my legs and she did the same. I took a deep breath and rested my hands on my knees. "So, whenever I feel overwhelmed or like life is on the heavier side I take some time to meditate. It gives me a moment to collect my thoughts, I can just be alone with my thoughts and feelings." </p><p>I closed my eyes and we both just sat there taking it all in. I opened my eyes quickly to check on Allie and she had some tears falling from her face. "Keep your eyes closed, keep breathing."</p><p>I moved from my spot and moved to her side of the bed. I sat behind her and intertwined my hands with hers, "You're alright. I've got you. Your feelings are valid and understandable." I kissed her cheek and we sat like this for a while. Once some time had passed she opened her eyes and looked at me. "Better?"</p><p>"Little. Thank you."</p><p>I kissed her and she smiled at me. "I'm sorry for being such a sook."</p><p>I wiped her tears, "You can be and feel whatever you want. Do you want anything? Do you need anything?"</p><p>She shook her head, "Nuh. I'm okay now. Thank you. I think I'm just going to go to sleep."</p><p>"Okay." I kissed her forehead. "I'm going to help Debbie with something and then I'll come join you okay?"</p><p>Allie nodded and got under the covers. I went to the kitchen to read over Deb's paper. "How's Allie?"</p><p>"She's okay, just having a bad day."</p><p>"We should do something nice for her."</p><p>"Sure, any ideas?"</p><p>"Well, we could go on holiday." Debbie smiled.</p><p>"Is this holiday for you or her her?"</p><p>"Could be for both."</p><p>I laughed, "Maybe, we'll see."</p><p>The following morning, Allie was feeling a bit better but still spent most of Saturday in bed. I just think she needed a reboot. Deb had gone to the store to buy some stuff to make s'mores and I went to the bedroom. Allie had just taken a shower and I sat near her, "How are we feeling babe?"</p><p>"Okay, just trying to gage my emotions and calm the fuck down."</p><p>I kissed her. "Are you tired?"</p><p>"Yes and no. I'm not like physically tired, but mentally I'm fucking exhausted."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>"Where's Deb?"</p><p>"She went to the store to buy some snacks for later. She wants to have a bit of a bonfire."</p><p>"Cool. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, there is something you could do for me."</p><p>"Anything."</p><p>Allie kissed me and pulled me so I was straddling her. She kissed my neck and I pushed her so she was laying down. I kissed her deeply and in seconds both of our clothes were off. I looked to make sure the door was closed and I bit down on Allie's breast as I started to circle her clit. I felt Allie's hand in my hair and I kissed down her stomach. </p><p>We made eye contact and I continued to kiss down her body until I put my mouth on her. She moaned as I started to circle her clit with my tongue. "Bea fuck."</p><p>I inserted two fingers in her and pumped in and out while I ate her out. I knew she was close and I moved my other hand to feel her breast. </p><p>"More please...harder."</p><p>I added a third finger and continued to lick her, sucking up her juices after she came. I kissed back up her body and kissed her forcefully. She bit my lip and groaned when she felt how wet I was. She went to touch me but I stopped her, "Debbie will be home soon and I will not have a repeat of last time."</p><p>Allie pouted and I kissed her, "Can we continue later?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>I stood up and got dressed. Allie put her robe on, stood up and pushed me up against the wall kissing me, touching me. "Allie..."</p><p>"Tonight, you're mine. I think you're getting too comfortable being a top."</p><p>I laughed and she kissed me again. </p><p>"I can handle you wanting to be on top, but you need to let me touch you before I go mad. Tonight," she sucked on my earlobe, "I was you to sit on my face while I eat you out."</p><p>I moaned at the thought of it. I nodded in excitement and I kissed her. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will went riding with Fletch today. I went to my place after being at the shelter for a bit. Bea had messaged me telling me Allie had had a bad day yesterday and was a bit better today. Allie was lucky to have her. </p><p>I was relieved that Will wasn't at work today and would come in a bit late tonight. Allie wasn't the only one having a bad day, mine wasn't exactly horrible. But I was definitely conflicted. I went to go shower and when I got out I wiped the mirror. I saw my reflection and started to cry. "Fuck, oh fuck." It was really early but I went to bed. I wasn't even tired or sleepy I just wanted to lay down. I felt the tears run down the sides of my face and I wiped them away. </p><p>I picked up my phone and rang Bridget's number. I know it was a Saturday and she was probably busy but I needed to talk to her. </p><p>"Hello."</p><p>"Bridget, it's Kaz."</p><p>"Hi, are you alright?"</p><p>"Not sure." I laughed. "I'm a bit fucked up right now. I just-I think I might need a session soon. I was wondering if there was any way we could move ours up."</p><p>"Kaz, what's happened?"</p><p>"It's nothing bad, it shouldn't be I just-I don't know what to do."</p><p>"Kaz, talk to me. What's wrong, what's happened?"</p><p>I started to cry, "I can't-I'm, Bridget I'm pregnant."</p>
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          <p>Shorter chapter this time cause ya girl is a bit busy and just wanted something up there. Do you hate me for that cliffhanger? It's okay, I hate me too. I will try to update soon.</p>
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<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Baby Steps</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More a Kaz and Will centric chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV </p><p>"I can't-I'm, Bridget I'm pregnant." I put my hand on my face and tried to breathe.</p><p>"Kaz, where are you right now?"</p><p>"I'm-I'm at home."</p><p>"Is Will there with you?"</p><p>"No, he's with a friend. He's coming over later but I just-Bridget I'm so confused, I don't know..."</p><p>"Kaz, do you want me to go over there?"</p><p>"No, I don't know. Will, he'll come over and he'll see you and he'll think something's wrong."</p><p>"Kaz, what do you want?"</p><p>I felt tears run down my face, "I want Allie. I want to talk to Allie and hear what she would say but she's been having a bad couple of days and I can't bother her. But, I'm not-I don't want to be alone but I can't have Will thinking anything is wrong."</p><p>"Kaz, let me go over there. Tell Will you're having Franky over and that you'll see him tomorrow."</p><p>I nodded, "Okay, okay."</p><p>"Okay? I'll see you soon Kaz."</p><p>I hung up and texted Will. ~Hey babe. Franky wants to come over for drinks. How about we just see each other at work tomorrow?"</p><p>He texted me back a couple of minutes later saying that was fine, and that he would miss me tonight. </p><p>I heard a buzz and went to let Bridget through. She knocked on the door and I opened it, "I'm sorry for bothering you on your day off."</p><p>"Kaz, you're my patient. You come first. Sit down, let's talk." We went to go sit on my couch. </p><p>I ran my fingers through my hair. "I was feeling a bit sick yesterday and I had a doctor's appointment this morning. I thought I was just getting the flu or something and after the blood and urine results came back," I shrugged "turns out I'm not sick, I'm pregnant."</p><p>"Kaz, are you upset that you're pregnant?"</p><p>"No-I don't know. I never saw myself having kids. Not because I don't like them, just that I never was in a relationship with anyone I saw myself with. I wasn't comfortable having sex so I thought that the idea of having kids was never something that could happen for me. I put my entire life in helping girls on the streets, those were my kids, like Allie. And now, here I am and I don't know if I should feel happy or not."</p><p>"What makes you think you shouldn't be happy that you're pregnant?"</p><p>"Will. I know he loves me, but we never talked about kids. I mean, he told me he wanted kids with his ex and they fought because she never seemed to want to give in to it, and it frustrated him. But we never talked about me and him. Bridget, I'm in my 40's what if something goes wrong? What if I give Will hope and I can't carry this baby to term? What if Will doesn't even want kids with me?" I felt myself start to get emotional again. </p><p>Bridget put her hand on mine, "Kaz, we've talked about these what ifs before. So tell me this, what if everything goes right? What if you can carry this baby to term? There is no indication anything is wrong. What if Will does want kids with you?"</p><p>"I hate that you're so optimistic."</p><p>She laughed, "I'm just trying to make sure you don't go down a slippery slope that could be prevented if you consider all the options."</p><p>"I'm just so confused. I mean we've only been having sex for maybe a month."</p><p>"It only takes once."</p><p>"I know, but we should have been more careful. We should have used condoms and birth control, I just thought at my age kids was out of the cards for me."</p><p>"Kaz, you aren't 100."</p><p>"I feel like it." I rubbed my face. "I can't believe I'm pregnant. I almost didn't believe my doctor when she said it."</p><p>"How do you feel? Forget about Will, forget about what could possibly happen. How do you feel Kaz?"</p><p>I rubbed my stomach and slightly smiled, "I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby."</p><p>Bridget smiled, "Yeah you are."</p><p>"I wish I could tell Allie."</p><p>"Do you want to try calling her?"</p><p>I shook my head, "She's had a rough couple of days. She doesn't need to be burdened with my stuff. I just, don't know how to tell Will."</p><p>Bridget smiled, "You don't have to rush to do it. Take your time, I do suggest telling him before you start showing but think it through. Don't feel forced to reveal anything, but don't keep it in too long. I know you're afraid, but he loves you. What can go wrong?"</p><p>"Everything, but I'll take your approach and try to be more positive."</p><p>"Good." </p><p>"Thank you for coming all the way over here, you didn't have to do that. I feel awful for bothering you."</p><p>"Stop that, I'm always here to help."</p><p>"Thank you Bridget."</p><p>Once Bridget left I grabbed my phone and texted Bea, ~Hey, how are things? Is she doing better?"~</p><p>~Much. We meditated again, and we're currently eating s'mores.~</p><p>~Do you think it would be alright if I called her?~</p><p>~I don't see why not.~</p><p>I dialed Allie's number and heard it ring. "Hello."</p><p>"Hey bubba."</p><p>"Hey mama. What's going on?"</p><p>"Just checking in, are you alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm okay. How are you."</p><p>"Fine, yeah. Um, I was wondering if you wanted to go have brunch tomorrow? You know, pick up on our get togethers."</p><p>"I'd love that! I've missed Sunday brunches, and I don't work tomorrow so it should be good."</p><p>"Great, I'll pick you up yeah?"</p><p>"Sounds good. Kaz, are you sure you're alright?"</p><p>"I'm fine."</p><p>"You just sound, I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy. I'll see you tomorrow mama."</p><p>"See you."</p><p>I hung up and took a deep breath. I needed to share this with Allie first, I needed to gather my thoughts with someone I trusted, someone I loved. I put my hand on my stomach and still couldn't believe it. I was having a baby. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>The call needed and I looked at my phone again. Bea came around to hug me, "You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah. Kaz just sounded a little-I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just crazy but Kaz sounded like something was up. But we're having brunch tomorrow so that'll be good."</p><p>"That's great. It'll do you some good to go see her."</p><p>"I think so too." I brought Bea close to me and kissed her, "What are you going to do without me tomorrow?"</p><p>Bea rolled her eyes, "God, who knows? My entire life revolves around you, I won't be able to do anything without you."</p><p>"Piss off." I laughed while jokingly pushing her. </p><p>The next morning Kaz picked me up and I hugged her when I got into the car, "it's good to see you mama."</p><p>She hugged me back, "It's good to see you bubba. How are you?"</p><p>"I'm doing alright."</p><p>"Good, I was thinking about going to that brunch spot we used to go to with that great view."</p><p>"The one with those amazing waffles?"</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"I love it, yes please."</p><p>Kaz smiled and drove off. I watched her and tried to understand what was up wit her. Something was different, the problem was I couldn't tell if it was good or bad. When we got to the restaurant we were seated outside and I ordered a mimosa, I expected Kaz to the same but she ordered a water instead. Not even a coffee, I don't know what it is that's with her, but something is going on. </p><p>"So, what's up?" I asked. </p><p>"I just wanted to see how you were doing first bubba. I hope you don't mind, but Bea did tell me you had a rough couple of days and I just want to see how things are holding up with you."</p><p>"Oh, mama I'm fine. I was just upset for no reason. I was in one of my moods where everything bothered me and I didn't have a reason for it to be."</p><p>"But you're okay now?"</p><p>"Yeah, of course. Bea has been really kind and helpful and she's taught me how to meditate."</p><p>Kaz laughed, "Never thought I'd see the day the you participated in meditation."</p><p>"Oh yeah, I'm going to be totally fucking zen in no time."</p><p>Kaz smiled at me and took a sip of her water. We had ordered and I looked back at her. "Kaz what's going on? I'm happy brunches are back on and all but you seem, I don't know, different."</p><p>"Look, I love you, you know that. I just wanted to check in and see how things were because, well I've got some stuff going on that I wanted to tell you about but I didn't want to worry you or-not worry but bother you if you had stuff on your plate."</p><p>I looked over at her, "Kaz, you could never bother me. I know I take up a lot of your time, and that you have put so much of your time into me, but I want you to know that you could never ever bug me." I grabbed Kaz's hands, "Kaz please don't ever think that. I love you and no matter what goes on in my life, anything going on in yours matters to me too." </p><p>Kaz looked at me and seemed to get emotional. "Allie I um. Fuck this is harder than I thought."</p><p>"Kaz, what's going on?" I started to get really worried. </p><p>"Allie." Kaz looked around, "I'm pregnant."</p><p>My jaw dropped, literally. "No way. Kaz, go my God." I stood up and went to her and hugged her. "Kaz, I can't believe it. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations!"</p><p>Kaz smiled. "Thank you. I'm just so shocked. I can't believe it either."</p><p>"Kaz this is amazing! You're going to have a baby!"</p><p>"Not so loud." She laughed. "Don't want to whole world finding out before the father does."</p><p>"You haven't told him?"</p><p>Kaz shook her head. "Not sure how. Not even sure how he'll react."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "Kaz, he'll jump up and down for joy. You told me he wanted kids."</p><p>"Yeah...with his ex-wife."</p><p>"Kaz, he loves you. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to have them with you too. You're going to have a bub!" I went to sit next to her and put my hand on her stomach.</p><p>Kaz laughed, "Allie, I'm only a couple of weeks."</p><p>"So." I looked down at her stomach, "Hello baby. I'm going to be your big sister."</p><p>Kaz beamed with tears in her eyes, "Yeah you are."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I dropped Debbie off at the shelter a little after Kaz picked Allie up and spent the day cleaning and started preparing to make a lasagna for later on. After a couple of hours Allie came back home with Kaz behind her. They both looked happy and Allie ran over to me. "Babe, oh my God. Guess what, guess, guess, guess."</p><p>"What what?" I looked over at both of them. </p><p>Allie turned to look at Kaz and Kaz nodded. "I'm going to be a big sister."</p><p>"You're going to be a big-" I caught on and looked at Kaz. "You're pregnant?"</p><p>Kaz nodded. </p><p>"Congratulations!" I went over and hugged her. "How did Will take it? I'm sure he jumped through the roof."</p><p>"I uh, haven't told him yet. Not sure how to and how he'll react."</p><p>Allie looked at me, "I told her not to worry, that he'd be thrilled but she's worried. Please reassure her so I can be happy out loud. I am going to be the best big sister ever."</p><p>I laughed and looked at Kaz, "He'll be thrilled Kaz. He's always wanted kids. He'll be shocked, but he'll be happy. It's all he's ever wanted. Now how to tell him, well, that's something you need to decide for yourself. Any way you tell him, he'll love. Trust me."</p><p>Kaz nodded and she stayed for a bit while we talked. I gave her some advice on morning sickness for later on and she left a little while after. She said she had an idea but needed to go see if she could do it. </p><p>Allie came over to me and kissed me, "This is so exciting."</p><p>"I'm happy for them. They both deserve it."</p><p>"I'm going to be a big sister, or at least the best aunt in the entire world."</p><p>I laughed and kissed her, "Happier?"</p><p>"Absolutely."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I stopped at a shop, went home, and went to the shelter. I checked in on Debbie and some of the other girls. I went over to Will's office and knocked. </p><p>He turned around and smiled, "Hey! I thought I'd have to wait until tonight to see you." He came over and kissed me.</p><p>"I decided to come by instead."</p><p>"Made my day better."</p><p>"I hope I can make it even greater tonight. My place?"</p><p>"Kaz Proctor, are you propositioning me?"</p><p>"Maybe."</p><p>"Then I am all yours baby. I'll pick up a bottle of red."</p><p>I nodded, "Mmhmm. I'm gonna get to work. I'll see you later okay."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>It was late and Will stopped at my office. "I'm going to go pick up that bottle. Anything you want in particular to eat?"</p><p>"Pizza please." I answered quickly.</p><p>"Anything for you." He kissed me and left. </p><p>I went to my car a couple of minutes later and drove home. I waited for him and tried to relax. I buzzed him through when he came in and he walked through my door minutes later with a bottle of wine and the box of pizza. He brought to glasses out and poured some wine. He handed me a glass and kissed me. He drank some and I put the glass down without taking a sip. "Can I talk to you about something?"</p><p>"Of course."</p><p>I brought him to the couch and had him sit down. "Okay, close your eyes."</p><p>He looked at me with a funny face and closed his eyes. I pulled out a baby onesie from a bag beside me that said 'Daddy's Little Biker Buddy.' I put the onesie on his knee, "Okay, open your eyes."</p><p>He opened his eyes and looked at me and then looked down. He looked back at me and back at the onesie. His eyes filled with tears and he looked at me again, "Are you serious?"</p><p>I tried not to let my tears fall and I bit my lip while nodding. </p><p>"You're pregnant?" He stood up and pulled me up with him hugging me tightly. He picked me up and kissed me deeply. He put me down and bent down. He kissed my stomach, "Hey baby."</p><p>I smiled down at him and he stood up again. "We're having a baby?"</p><p>"We're having a baby."</p><p>He kissed me again. "I love you, I love you, I love you. You're having my baby." He looked at the onesie again, "I'm having a baby."</p><p>I laughed at his excitement and his happiness. Everyone was right, I had nothing to worry about when it came to telling him. He was happy, I was happy. </p><p>"Wait Will, it's still so soon and I don't want to get your hopes up."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Will, I'm in my 40's. Anything can happen."</p><p>"Nope, I'm keeping positive and I expect you to be too. Nothing will go wrong. Our baby will be strong and healthy and will be my biking buddy."</p><p>I kissed him. "I was so nervous to tell you."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I know you wanted kids but I'm not Meg."</p><p>He pulled me close to him and kissed me deeply. "I have never compared the two of you. I never will. I'm ecstatic. I love you, and we are having a beautiful baby." He looked at me, "When did you find out?"</p><p>I sheepishly looked at him, "Yesterday."</p><p>"Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"I didn't know what to think. I was afraid and wasn't sure if I could or should be happy."</p><p>He grabbed my hands and kissed them, "I don't ever want you to be afraid to tell me anything, especially something amazing like this." He kissed me deeply, "I'm the happiest man in the entire world. You're having my baby."</p><p>"I can't even believe it, I still struggle to believe this is real. I never thought I'd ever have kids."</p><p>"Well babe, believe it. We're going to be parents." He put his hand on my stomach and smiled at me. "No wonder you didn't drink any wine."</p><p>I laughed, "Allie thought it was weird I didn't want a mimosa this morning too."</p><p>"See you're already being a great mom." He clapped his hands, "Let's go."</p><p>"Go where?"</p><p>"To the store, got to buy you everything you want, cravings anything like that. This house must be stocked up for the mother and my child."</p><p>"Will, I'm still very early. I don't have cravings yet. Well, other than the pizza."</p><p>"Then that's what you'll have." He made me sit down and ran to go get the box from the kitchen. I laughed at his excitement and finally allowed myself to breathe. I put my hand on my stomach thinking about this new life forming inside of me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Good Intentions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>I was waiting for the water to heat up so I could go shower when Allie came into the bathroom. She kissed me good morning. She started to take her clothes off and winked at me, "You know, just trying to save water baby."</p><p>"Always trying to find ways to take care of our planet."</p><p>"Definitely." She took her shirt off. I saw her back in the mirror and I looked at her. I turned her around. </p><p>"Allie, I'm sorry. I didn't even realize."</p><p>"Realize what?" She looked at the mirror and there were scratch marks on her back. "Babe, what have I told you about pleasure and pain? It didn't bother me, I didn't even realize you had done that."</p><p>I put my hand on her arm, "Does it hurt?"</p><p>"No. I'm fine." She kissed me. </p><p>I was still worried about her and she pulled me into the shower with her. She kissed me under the water and started to kiss up my neck, "Don't worry. I don't mind the scratches. It's kind of hot. Seeing what I do to you, how uncontrollable you get when you can't scream my name so you have to scratch me instead. It's hot babe."</p><p>"I never want to hurt you."</p><p>"And you never do. I love you, you could never hurt me baby." She kissed me </p><p>"You would tell me if I did right?"</p><p>"Of course I would." </p><p>As we showered, I grabbed the bar of soap and rubbed it all over her back, massaging her and kissing her back every chance I got. I don't know why it freaked me out, seeing Allie a bit scratched up. When we stepped out she went to grab the lotion and I grabbed it from her hands. I poured it in my hands and rubbed the lotion on her back making sure I covered every mark on her back. She turned around and kissed me, "You didn't hurt me Bea."</p><p>"I just feel bad."</p><p>"Don't. It felt good. Plus it just boosts my ego to know that you were scratching my back because of the way I made you feel. Moving inside of you, driving you insane."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "So I guess I should stop doing that. Your ego is big enough."</p><p>She roughly kissed me, "Never stop."</p><p>We got ready for work and Deb spent longer getting herself ready. She was hanging out with Nat after school today. I reminded her why she went to school and not to do anything I wouldn't approve of. </p><p>Allie put her hand on my thigh and looked at me, "You know she'd never do anything you'd never approve of."</p><p>"I know, I just worry about her. She's continuing to get older and she'll experience things and do things that I don't want to know about, but I just hope she's safe."</p><p>"She will be, she's got the best mom in the world looking out for her." Allie squeezed my thigh and kissed me. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>This morning, Will had gotten up to make this ridiculous breakfast. He made enough food to feed a village when I usually only have coffee and oatmeal. I knew that you could have coffee when pregnant but I didn't want anything to even chance something going wrong. He couldn't stop talking about how excited he was. He called his mom right away which then ended in the conversation of me having to meet her. </p><p>I wasn't opposed to meeting his mom, I just never had to do the whole meeting the parents thing. If I did she'd ask about mine which I hated talking about, obviously. But she wanted to meet me, especially because I was apparently all Will talked about. </p><p>He made love to me last night and I couldn't believe the life I was living. A year ago I would have never thought I would have met a man I had fallen in love with, a man I shared everything with, and be pregnant with his child. I couldn't believe it, it felt like a weird dream at times. I felt like a completely different person with a completely different life. </p><p>We got to work and he wouldn't stop kissing me in the office. I laughed as he brought me closer to him, "Go to your office and get to work."</p><p>"But I don't want to leave you yet."</p><p>"Your office isn't that far."</p><p>"I'll miss you."</p><p>"Go."</p><p>He pouted and kissed me again. He bent down and kissed my stomach, "Your mommy is being mean to me so now I have to go. I'll see you later." He kissed me again, "meanie."</p><p>I nodded and smiled, "I am the absolute worst. Now go."</p><p>He kissed me again and left my office. I smiled at how real this all was. I sat down and put my hand on my stomach, I was excited. I was having a baby. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I got home from work and saw Gidge sipping some wine while doing some work. "Hey spunky."</p><p>"Hi baby." She stood up and went to kiss me. "Guess what I did today?"</p><p>"Worked?"</p><p>"Nope, I went car shopping."</p><p>"Why'd you go by yourself?"</p><p>"I didn't. Vera came with me."</p><p>"Did you get one?"</p><p>Gidge nodded. "It's parked in the garage. Wanted it to be a surprise."</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>She pulled my hand and I followed her to the garage. She stood behind me and covered my eyes while kissing my neck. She whispered in my ear, "Paint me a picture." She removed her hands and in front of me was a black porsche. </p><p>I dropped my jaw and looked back at Gidge, "Holy fuck. This is yours?"</p><p>Gidge nodded, "With the money I got from the insurance company and the money that guy had to pay because he hit me, I had enough to buy this."</p><p>"This is amazing. This is such a cool car. Gidge, you're going to look like such a spunk." I pulled her into me, "you're going to look really fucking hot driving this."</p><p>She kissed me and I felt her pushing me towards the car. "We should break it in, don't you think?"</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I had started on dinner while Allie went to go shower. Deb came home and was hanging around the kitchen, stealing bits and pieces of food here or there. "Cut that out, you'll spoil your appetite."</p><p>She laughed, "yeah right."</p><p>"So how'd it go with Nat?"</p><p>"Good. We went to the park and hung out. We talked and listened to some music. He showed me this band he liked."</p><p>I nodded listening to her. </p><p>"Mom, can I ask you something?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Please don't get mad or assume anything by what I'm saying."</p><p>I lowered the heat on the stove and turned to her, "Well, what is it?"</p><p>"What's it like to have sex?"</p><p>I shot my head up and looked at her. We've had minor discussions here and there but never really gone into depth about it. I took a sip of my wine and cleared my throat, "Well, first I kind of feel the need to ask why you're curious? Is Nat-"</p><p>"No. We've only ever kissed and he has never asked me, I swear. It's just, some girl was talking about it today in class and I was wondering."</p><p>"Well, I think sex can be a very beautiful thing with the right person. When you're young, sometimes you run into that idea of having sex because it feels like everyone else around you is doing it so you should too. Sex should be something you want, not something you feel like you need to do for anyone else."</p><p>"How do you know if you've found the right person to do that with?"</p><p>I thought of Allie and smiled, "There's this comfort and assurance you get with that person. You feel like it's right. There's no pressure, no force. It's nerve wrecking at first because it's a whole new world and you aren't sure what to do or how things are supposed to play along. And, depending on how you are as a person it could be scary the first time, or something you connect to right away."</p><p>Debbie nodded, "Does it hurt?"</p><p>"At first. Your body isn't used to what's going on so you have to adjust to feel comfortable enough."</p><p>She seemed like she wanted to ask something but wasn't sure.</p><p>"What?" I asked. "Come on, you can ask." </p><p>"Well, obviously you're comfortable with Allie, but was it the same when you first had sex with dad?"</p><p>I felt my heart stop and panic start to rise. It wasn't even remotely the same. When Harry and I first started having sex he was always rough and then it stopped being sex. I never ever wanted Debbie to find out and I thought I'd never have to worry because she never asked about her dad. I cleared my throat, "It was a different experience. With Allie, I had had sex before so it wasn't completely shocking to what was going to happen even if it was different than having sex with a man. With your dad, well, he and I," this was a lot harder than I thought it was. I didn't want to scare her and I didn't want to lie, "I always struggled with being intimate with your dad but I didn't with Allie. Maybe it had more to do with this attraction to women I didn't know I had."</p><p>"So, you were never attracted to men?"</p><p>"Well your dad was my first and only boyfriend. So it's not like I had a lot of experience in figuring that out for myself. I think I thought being with your dad was right even if parts of me felt like something was missing."</p><p>Debbie nodded. "Is sex easier now that you know that about yourself."</p><p>"Much."</p><p>"Makes sense. Thanks mom."</p><p>"Yeah no worries. And, I'm glad you talked to me about this. I'm always happy to answer your questions sweetheart." I kissed her head and went back to cooking. </p><p>She got up and went to her room, I let go of the breath I was holding. I hated that. I lied to Debbie, partially. I always knew I wasn't attracted to Harry, it had nothing to do with this new found attraction I have to Allie. I slept with him because he was nice and he was my boyfriend and that was what you were supposed to do. Sex with Allie was worlds different than having sex with Harry. I didn't even have sex with Harry. He'd beat me and then take his pants off or sometimes when he was really pissed he'd climb into the bed with me when I was sleeping after he had had a night out and force himself into me while putting his hand over my mouth so I didn't scream. I just hoped that if it's with Nat or some other boy, that Debbie experiences love when she first has sex. I want her to be with someone who will look after her, take care of her, treat her like she deserves. I never want Debbie to experience anything that I did. </p><p>I froze when I felt hands on me. I relaxed when I felt Allie kissing my neck. "Smells great."</p><p>"Yeah." I kept cooking and bit my inner cheek. I let my mind spiral out and now I was internally freaking out. I needed to relax before I made a scene or worried Allie. I didn't need this, I needed to get over this. </p><p>She wrapped her arms around my stomach, "You alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, just stuff you know?"</p><p>She turned me around and kissed me. "Bea, what's wrong?"</p><p>I turned the stove off and put a lid on the pan. I moved and checked to see Debbie's door closed. Allie was standing near the stove and I was standing across from her. I took a sip of wine and looked at Allie, "Deb was asking me about sex."</p><p>"Is that what's got stressed? Babe, I don't think she'll shack up with the first guy who calls her pretty. Maybe she was just curious."</p><p>"That's not what worried me or is bothering me. Allie she asked about her dad. She asked me about my first time and what it was like for me when Harry and I first did it in comparison to you and me." </p><p>"Oh. What'd you say?"</p><p>"Well, I told her that they were two separate experiences because of how I felt about you and how I felt about him. I said that I wasn't as attracted to her dad as I was to you which was true. But I lied and said that my uncertainty about my sexuality made it hard for me to enjoy sex. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm straight but I'm also not sure I'm gay. You are the only woman, the only person I have ever been sexually attracted to. I made it seem like I've never been sure or that I had certain hang ups when I was younger which was crap."</p><p>"Bea, you were trying to protect her."</p><p>"I know that, but it felt wrong making it seem like it was something wrong with me. I'm not upset at myself for lying to her, I'm upset at myself for lying in general. I'm protecting him all over again."</p><p>"But you aren't protecting him. You said so yourself, it would do no good for Debbie to know the truth."</p><p>I scoffed and drank some wine, "Of course it wouldn't. I don't want my daughter knowing that her father used to force me down and rape me repeatedly because I wasn't a sexual person." </p><p>Allie nodded then looked up. "Bea."</p><p>I turned around and saw Debbie standing behind me.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm back again with another cliffhanger. But like it's me so what'd you expect. If this chapter seems on the rushed side don't judge me I had the idea and wrote it while I was at work.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Honest Truths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I turned around and saw Debbie standing behind me. I don't know how long she had been there, how much she had heard. But her face, it said it all. She was horrified and she had tears in here eyes. "Deb." I pulled her to me and I hugged her. "Debbie I'm sorry, you should have never heard any of that, baby I'm sorry."</p><p>"Mom, that's not true is it? He didn't. Mom, tell me that's not true."</p><p>Allie passed by us and gave me a sad look. She went to the bedroom and closed the door to give us some privacy. </p><p>I looked at Debbie and I wiped her tears, "I'm sorry baby. You should have never heard any of that."</p><p>"When?"</p><p>"Debbie-"</p><p>"When?"</p><p>I gave her a sad smile, "It happened more when you weren't home. If you went to a friends house or stayed late from school."</p><p>"Was it because of me?"</p><p>"No. Absolutely not. It had nothing to do with you. None of this did. This was never your fault. It had to do with him and me. He was angry with me and no matter how many times he could hit me, he knew hurting me, like that, hurt me more." </p><p>Deb started to cry, "Mommy I'm sorry."</p><p>I pulled her to hug her again and I cried. She never called me mommy, ever. She used to when she was a baby but Harry hated it. I kissed her forehead and held her tightly. "Sweetheart, it was a long time ago, okay? He's gone, it's so over. I've worked through it, I'm better now, I'm okay." </p><p>"I'm so sorry mum, this is all my fault." Debbie cried.</p><p>"No, hey. You've done nothing wrong. Why would you think that?" </p><p>"You stayed with Dad because of me."</p><p>I looked at Debbie and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear, "Oh, honey, no. No. I didn't stay with your dad because of you. I was just...too scared to leave him. I, uh-I was silly enough to think that it was better for you if we stayed together." I made her look at me, "I'm sorry you had to find out this way, I'm sorry you had to find out at all. I never wanted that, I never wanted you to know about all of it because you were so young and it wouldn't have done you any good to know. Deb, I'm sorry."</p><p>I hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. She cried and I cried with her. She looked up at me, "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I'm fine. I talked about it, a lot, in therapy with Bridget. She helped me understand all of it and work though it. Allie kind of helped me too. What I said to you earlier, I wasn't attracted to your dad sexually. I liked him because he was nice when we first met but when it came to sex, I just couldn't enjoy myself. That frustrated him, a lot. I started to think that I just wasn't a sexual person, but when I met Allie, I realized that maybe it had more to do with the person I was with."</p><p>"Mom, I'm so sorry. I never thought-I hate that I never realized what was going on. I should have."</p><p>"No you shouldn't. It was not your job to look out for me."</p><p>"I could have helped you, I could have done something."</p><p>"No baby, you couldn't have."</p><p>"I'm so sorry mom."</p><p>"Me too. Look at me. We are going to get through this. What's done is done. All we can do now it move on and try to live a better life, which I think we have been doing pretty well. I don't want you to think that this changes anything okay? I'm still me."</p><p>"I won't ever ask about him again, I promise."</p><p>I shook my head, "No Deb. I want you to ask if you have questions. No matter what he did, what he was, he was also you dad." She went to interrupt me and I stopped her. "He loved you, more than anything. He never put a hand on you and never treated you badly, that I'll always be grateful for. You meant the world to him. Some of the best moments, he and I ever had, involved you. You are allowed to love your dad. You are allowed to be curious and ask questions. Don't stop because of what happened between him and I. I was just a bit thrown off today when you asked about him because I don't always associate your dads and I's relationship to be about sex. Part of me will always worry about you because I want you to find somebody to love, somebody who loves you. Real love, true love. I just don't want you opening your legs for any guy."</p><p>"Gross mom."</p><p>"What? That is a valid concern."</p><p>Debbie rolled her eyes. </p><p>I looked at her, "I love you, to the moon and back."</p><p>"I love you too mom."</p><p>I kissed her forehead, "Okay no go get Allie so we can have dinner. That is unless this whole fiasco ruined your appetite."</p><p>"As if." She went to the bedroom and I took a moment to collect myself. This isn't exactly how I planned the evening to go at all. I hated having a secret from Deb but I never wanted her to know. Now that she does, I just don't want her to feel like she can't talk to me or ask me questions. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I was folding some clothes when the door opened. I looked up to see Deb with a tear stained face. I looked at her, "You alright kiddo? I'm sorry."</p><p>She came over to me and hugged me. </p><p>"Okay." I hugged her back. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"Thank you. Thank you for everything you do for her. I was awful to you in the past because I only cared about myself and I never realized how good you were and are for her. I took that for granted. Thank you Allie."</p><p>I felt tears spring to my eyes, "Hey, it's okay. I love your mom, I love you. There is nothing I wouldn't do for either of you."</p><p>"I love you too Allie."</p><p>We went to the kitchen and Debbie went to go sit down. I went to Bea and I hugged her and kissed her quickly on the lips. "You okay?"</p><p>She nodded, "Yeah."</p><p>"Hey, I love you."</p><p>Bea smiled, "I love you too."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I had a killer headache, probably due to my not having caffeine, a daily staple in my life. I went to go lie down hoping it would pass over. Will came to sit next to me and kissed me, "Do you want a massage?"</p><p>"I would love a massage."</p><p>I moved so I was on my stomach and he lifted my shirt up. He grabbed the lotion on the side of my bed and started to massage my back. He kept lifting the shirt until I finally took it off and he unhooked my bra. He had his hands all over my back and my neck, it felt amazing. He completely removed my bra and his hands move to the front of my chest. I stifled my moan, "Will."</p><p>"Hmm?"</p><p>"You said, just a massage."</p><p>"I never said just."</p><p>"I only signed up for, just, a massage."</p><p>"You sure?" He kissed the side of my neck and started to palm my breast.</p><p>"I have a headache."</p><p>"And I have a cure."</p><p>"I'm too tired to have sex."</p><p>"That's the best part, you wouldn't have to do a thing." He kissed my neck and started to pull down my pants. I turned around so I was on my back and he put his mouth on my breast. I moaned and threw my head back. He pulled down my underwear, kissing down my body. "Believe me, your headache will be gone in no time." He winked at me before continuing to move lower. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Debbie and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie, she was leaning into me. I held her tightly knowing she picked watching a movie as an excuse to be close to me. Allie came over and put cups of hot chocolate in front of us. She came to sit on the other side of me so I was leaning into her. She kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, "You, are a great mom. Never forget it."</p><p>I looked at her and smiled. She kissed me. When the movie was over it was getting late and I looked at Deb, "You can say no, but how about spending the night with me and Allie?"</p><p>Debbie smiled, "I'd like that." She looked over at Allie. </p><p>"As if you'd have to ask. Two of my favorite girls curled up with me, absolutely. I'm going to get an extra blanket though cause you and your mom take most of it and you two sleep without socks so your feet are freezing, absolutely ridiculous."</p><p>Debbie laughed and went to her room to go change. I put my arms around Allie, "Thank you."</p><p>"Of course. I love you, I love her. We'll have a little slumber party. It'll be great."</p><p>I laughed at her excitement. Debbie practically jumped into bed like she was a little kid. I went to get in while Allie went to brush her teeth. I held Debbie who had started to fall asleep. Allie came and joined us taking a moment to take a picture of a sleeping Debbie, "What she looks cute." She got on the opposite side and I reached my hand over to intertwine with hers. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge looked hot as fuck in her new car when she was driving me to work the next morning. I was insanely turned on. She practically had to push me out the car to get me to go to work. She laughed while I continued to kiss her, "Franky go. You're going to be late."</p><p>"I'm the boss. I can do whatever I want. And if I want to spend an extra 5 minutes kissing my fiancé in her new car, then I can."</p><p>She laughed, "Yeah well I have to go to work and you're stalling."</p><p>"Gidge come on."</p><p>She pulled me by my collar and whispered in my ear. I felt arousal surround me as she detailed the things she'd do to me later on tonight if I was a good girl and went to work. "Gidge, you can't leave me like that. I won't be able to concentrate."</p><p>"Go."</p><p>I grunted and kissed her forcefully, I didn't care who saw. "You're going to force me to take matters into my own hands."</p><p>She squinted, "You wouldn't."</p><p>I shrugged. </p><p>"You won't." It was a warning, a promise. She was making it very clear that I was not allowed to touch myself. "Go to work, only work. And if you're good, I might send you a surprise later. But, no touching Franky. I'll know if you do. You are a horrible liar."</p><p>"Am not." I pouted and she kissed me. I got out of the car and she winked at me as she drove off. My hot girl, in her hot car. I couldn't wait to make her my wife. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I woke up in Will's arms and groaned when I saw it was time to get up. He kissed my forehead, "Morning."</p><p>"Morning."</p><p>He kissed me and smiled, "told you I'd make that headache go away."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "you are relentless."</p><p>"I know what I want." </p><p>We had decided that I'd go over to meet his mom this weekend. It was only right, I had never met her before and all of a sudden I was carrying her grandchild. I wasn't going to lie, I was really nervous. Will said he'd talk to his mom to make sure she didn't bring up my parents but I know she'd wonder. I just wanted to make a good impression. I had a session with Bridget today so I'd be able to really talk it through with her. </p><p>Will dropped me off at Bridget's clinic and said he'd pick me up in an hour, he was going to run an errand nearby. He kissed me before I left the car and rubbed my stomach, "Bye baby."</p><p>I walked into the clinic and waited, not long after Bridget came out and walked me to her office. "How are you feeling today?"</p><p>"Good, better, and also nervous."</p><p>"Okay, let's unpack all of that. Did you want some coffee, water, tea?"</p><p>"I'd love a coffee but I should go for a tea instead."</p><p>"You know, you can drink coffee when pregnant."</p><p>"I know, I just want to do everything right and not make a mistake you know?"</p><p>"Of course." She handed me some tea and I took a sip. "Now, obviously things are much better from the last time we saw each other. He handled it well yeah."</p><p>"Yeah. He was thrilled. I've never seen him so happy. All he talks about is the baby. He wants to start buying baby clothes."</p><p>"So that's the good and better parts. What's got you nervous?"</p><p>"I'm meeting his mom this weekend."</p><p>Bridget hummed, "Meeting the parents. Always nerve wrecking. What's worrying you specifically?"</p><p>"Well for one, I've never met her, never spoken to her. I would feel less pressure if I wasn't pregnant. For better or worse, she's going to have to accept me or somewhat tolerate me."</p><p>"Why do you assume she won't just naturally like you?"</p><p>I shrugged, "I don't know. I've never seen myself as the girl you take home. I'm not warm and kind. Makes me worry about parenting too. What if I'm not the mothering type?"</p><p>Bridget smiled, "I think, that is possibly the complete opposite Kaz. Of course you are the mothering type. You started a shelter to help other women and kids, taking in so many and giving them opportunities and love. Someone with a good heart is the only one capable of doing that."</p><p>"But that's not maternal love, it's tough love. You ask Allie how many times I kicked her ass about using."</p><p>"But parenting also involves moments of tough love. I think you're making things harder for yourself than they should be. You're setting these expectations and ideas that you aren't sure of. You are a good person Kaz, a caring, kind, compassionate one. I can see that first hand, I'm sure Will's mom will too."</p><p>I raised my tea cup, "Here's to hoping."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I was up in my office when I heard a knock and looked up to see Will. I smiled, "Hey! How's dad life?"</p><p>He grinned, "I can't wait. Of course you knew. Here I thought I was coming to surprise you."</p><p>"Kaz told me. She was nervous about telling you. I'm glad she finally did, I wasn't sure if you'd be in the delivery room." I joked.</p><p>"Funny. Hey, do you think I could ask you for a favor, I could use Allie for this too."</p><p>"Sure." I picked up the phone and asked Liz to send Allie up. </p><p>She came up moments later and saw us and went to hug Will. "Congrats."</p><p>"Thank you. I was wondering if you two could help me with something?"</p><p>"Sure." I answered. </p><p>"I want to buy a house. For Kaz, the baby, me. I want to move in together and I think a kid should be raised in a house and I was hoping you two could help me find the right one."</p><p>Allie beamed, "That's amazing. She's going to flip out. I'm in, 100%."</p><p>"Me too." I added. "This is great Will, although I am surprised."</p><p>"Why?" He asked. </p><p>"Well, knowing you I thought you would have asked her to marry you as soon as you found out."</p><p>"Believe me, I thought about it. That night she told me, I had plans to go buy a ring and everything but, I don't know, I mean-I know Kaz. She's going to think I'm asking her because of the baby and not because I really love her, which is insane but."</p><p>Allie nodded, "Yeah, she would think that. If anything, I'd recommend just holding off on proposing until after the house."</p><p>"Thanks you guys, I really appreciate it. I'll text you over the next couple of days, I just want this to be a surprise. And if I go looking by myself, it'll be a man cave and I want her to have a house she wants and loves." He looked at Allie, "You know her better than anyone. You'd know what she'd love and hate."</p><p>"No worries. I'd love to help. I have some ideas too on things she'd like."</p><p>"Great! I just wanted to stop by and ask, I should get going. Her session will be over in a bit and I promised to be there when she got out."</p><p>Will said goodbye to us both and Allie came over to me, "Kaz is going to love this. She won't see it coming."</p><p>"It's insane isn't it? Everyone around us happy and in relationships. You and me, Franky and Bridget getting married, Kaz and Will having a baby. It's surreal."</p><p>"I feel that way sometimes too. It's like we were all, for the most part, living separate lives and all of a sudden all of our paths started to cross and we were all brought together. It's like fate or something."</p><p>"Yeah, it is." I smiled.</p>
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<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Night Changes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaz POV</p><p>Will was driving us to his mom's house and my leg couldn't stop shaking. I was panicking, I was meeting his mother for the first time. And, this wasn't some regular girlfriend introduction, this was a baby momma introduction. He looked over at me and put his hand on my leg. "Relax, she'll love you."</p><p>I forced a smile and tried to think positively. </p><p>"Why are you assuming she'll hate you?"</p><p>"I'm not assuming she'll hate me but-Will I'm not a very likable person."</p><p>He pulled into a houses driveway, which I presumed was his mom's. He looked over at me and put his hand on the side of my face, "You are an extremely likable person. I liked you from the moment I met you, I love you. I'm a pretty good judge of character, and my mom taught me how to be that. She'll love you, baby I promise."</p><p>I nodded and we got out of the car. He held my hand as we walked towards the front door. He didn't even get to knock because the door swung open. An older woman was standing on the other side smiling with her arms open wide. "My boy."</p><p>Will hugged his mom and kissed her cheek. She smiled and looked over at me, looked me up and down and looked back at Will. She smacked the side of his head, "How dare you keep me away from her huh?"</p><p>She came over and hugged me. I was shocked but hugged her back. "You must be Kaz."</p><p>"Yeah. It's nice to meet you Ms. Jackson."</p><p>"None of that, you call me mama. Everyone does."</p><p>I nodded, "Okay."</p><p>She seemed to be waiting for me to say it. </p><p>I smiled, "Mama."</p><p>She smiled and brought me inside. </p><p>Will was still rubbing his head from the hit but smiling at our interaction. </p><p>She had me sit down and sat next to me. She looked over at Will, "Go get us some tea darlin. I need to speak to our new additions to our family."</p><p>Will winked at me and went to the kitchen. Will's mom turned to me, "Tell me everything."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I drove Allie to work and went to go pick up some paper work I had left in my office the previous day. I saw Franky sitting in her chair, looking up at the ceiling, throwing a ball and catching it. </p><p>"Working hard?" I asked smiling.</p><p>"I'm dying here Red. Gidge left for that conference two days ago and she's not coming back until next week. What am I going to do without her?"</p><p>I laughed and went over to sit on her desk, "Jesus, never thought I'd ever see you so hung over this. It's a couple more days Franky. And you can will be fine, you used to live without Bridget before."</p><p>"Yeah but now that seems irrelevant. Plus, could you imagine life without Novak?"</p><p>I shrugged my shoulders, "Maybe not. I have Debbie though."</p><p>"Eh. I think I'm going to go crazy going another night without her."</p><p>I laughed, "Why don't you come over then? I'll cook, we can have a movie night or something."</p><p>Franky looked over at me with a glint in her eye. "Or...we could do something we used to do when we were both single."</p><p>I looked over at Franky, "No."</p><p>She stood up and looked at me smiling, "Red."</p><p>"No. No. No."</p><p>"Please."</p><p>"Franky, I hate clubbing and going out and doing all of that. You would force me out of the house, leave me halfway because you found some chick and then you'd be plastered drunk the next morning."</p><p>"This time will be different. I won't leave halfway because I won't be looking to picking anyone up. Just you and me, best mates having some drinks, dancing, having a good time." She gave me that cheeky grin that always got her what she wanted. </p><p>I rolled my eyes, "Fine."</p><p>Franky grinned and threw her arm around me, "This is going to be great!"</p><p>"Hold on, I have to tell Allie."</p><p>"Invite her. You used to always third wheel, it's my turn."</p><p>I laughed, "Okay. I need to make sure Debbie will be alright with it too."</p><p>"As if she'd ever stop you from having fun. Tonight, 9:00pm!"</p><p>I walked out of Franky's office and was leaving the restaurant when I called Allie over, "You just can't stay away from me huh?"</p><p>"Why would I want to? Hey, Franky wants to go out tonight, ya know drinks, clubs, dancing. I was wondering if you were interested in joining us?"</p><p>"Sure. How could I miss the chance of seeing you in a hot outfit, the chance to dance with you and see you completely pissed."</p><p>I laughed, "I don't get drunk easily baby, but you can try."</p><p>Allie grinned and kissed me. "See you later babe."</p><p>Kaz POV</p><p>Will's mom was asking me a million questions and was so excited about the baby, "I have always wanted a grandchild. When Will called me and told me you were expecting, I couldn't be happier."</p><p>I smiled and Will intertwined his hand into mine, "She gave me a baby's onesie to tell me she was pregnant. That baby is going to be a rider, a football fan-"</p><p>"Oh Will, let the baby be born first." His mom protested. </p><p>I laughed and Will excused himself to go to the restroom. His mom looked at me and put her hand on top of mine, "Thank you."</p><p>"For?"</p><p>"For bringing him back to life. After Megan died, part of him did too. He was gone, he was still here but that light in his eyes were gone. Then, little while back I could hear something change. He sounded better, I thought maybe it just meant enough time had passed so he was just doing better, you know time heals all wounds. But, when he'd come visit me, that light was back. I saw him, he was happy. When I finally got it out of him and he mentioned this woman he was working with that drove him absolutely insane, both in a good way and bad way."</p><p>I laughed thinking of how horribly I treated him because of my own insecurities and not wanting to let him in. </p><p>"His whole face would light up talking about you. I would have pushed to meet you sooner but I just wanted him to be happy and relax without worrying about what I would say or think."</p><p>"Which is?" I asked.</p><p>She smiled. "You know, they say no girl will ever be good enough for mother's sons. But, you're a good one. I see you two, the way he calms around you. The serenity, the love. You brought the light back into my sons life, which makes you my favorite person in the world."</p><p>"He did the same for me, maybe not in the same way, but he did." </p><p>"And now, with the baby, you have changed his entire life for the better."</p><p>"Mine's too."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Debbie went to spend the night at a friend's house and Allie and I were getting ready for tonight. Franky was going to meet us here and then we would take a cab to the club. I decided to go with a tight dress and Allie was wearing skinny jeans and a low cut shirt. I was putting my earrings on in the bathroom when I looked up to see Allie looking at me from the mirror. "What?"</p><p>"Nothing, you just look so beautiful." She came to stand behind me. She put her hands on my hips and kissed my neck, "And really fucking sexy."</p><p>She kissed up my ear and bit down on my ear. "Allie." I grinned. </p><p>She hummed in my ear and moved her hand up and down my leg, "So fucking sexy."</p><p>The doorbell rang and I turned around to kiss her. "Later babe."</p><p>"I'm holding you to it."</p><p>I went to open the door and Franky had a huge smile on her face and a bottle in her hand, "Drink up bitches."</p><p>"Franky-hold on."</p><p>"Nuh Red, you know how insanely expensive drinks are at clubs. Let's get started, plus no one is driving so let loose. And, with your tolerance, this won't even touch the sides."</p><p>Allie came over and we started taking shots. We left the house and got to the club and I regretted coming as soon as we stepped in. All these people, I was just feeling a bit claustrophobic. Allie grabbed my hand and smiled at me, she kissed me and Franky led us near the bar. Franky ordered more drinks and Allie was getting very touchy. It was ironic that Franky complained about how expensive drinks were at clubs because she was throwing them back. </p><p>Allie stood behind me and guided me with her hands on my hips as the music played. Her hands were all over me and I turned my face to look at her and pulled her into a kiss. Franky kept going back and forth from the bar to the dance floor.</p><p>After a while Allie kissed me and told me she was going to the bathroom. I went to the bar with Franky who was hanging on by a nail. I told the bartender no more drinks for her. Franky tried to protest but ended up putting her head down on the bar which I knew meant she was gone. I took my phone out to order a car and waited for Allie to get back. I ordered a strong drink for the road and downed it. </p><p>"Love a girl who can handle their liquor." Someone said from behind me. This brunette woman was standing near me and smiling. </p><p>"High tolerance." I answered back quickly. </p><p>"Wanna dance?" She looked me up and down and I wish Franky wouldn't have gotten so pissed. Whenever this used to happen she'd swoop in and pretend to be my girlfriend and scare them away. And I couldn't see Allie anywhere. </p><p>"Um, I'm good. I uh, need to take my friend home and I'm here with someone so."</p><p>"Sounds like a lot of different excuses, any of it actually true?"</p><p>"All of it actually."</p><p>"Come on, one dance. I can show you a good time." She said coming closer to me.</p><p>"She said no." Allie said standing behind the girl. </p><p>"And you are?"</p><p>"Her girlfriend, so kick rocks."</p><p>The girl removed herself from her spot and Allie came over to me, "You alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you."</p><p>"You're my girl, I have to protect you." She pushed me towards the bar and kissed me roughly, "And when we get home, I'm going to make sure you know you're mine."</p><p>I moaned when I felt her hands on my ass. My phone buzzed, "The car is here. Come on we have to get her out of here." I looked over at Franky. We put her arms over each of us and got her in the car. We got to the house and I laid Franky on the couch. Allie took Franky's shoes off and I put a blanket over her. </p><p>Allie grabbed my hand and took me to the bedroom. She shoved me against the wall and started attacking my neck. "Allie-Franky's outside."</p><p>"Franky is blacked out and wouldn't hear if a car crashed through the house right now. She will not hear us baby, I promise." </p><p>I nodded and pulled her into a kiss. I pushed her jacket off and felt her hands all over me. Her hand moved up my dress and I knew I was wet. Watching her go up to that girl at the bar turned me on. She had her hand lingering on the band of my panties. She was kissing me but wasn't touching me where I wanted her to. I groaned when she moved her hand from the band of my panties to caress my inner thigh. "Allie...please."</p><p>"Please what baby?"</p><p>"Allie-stop teasing."</p><p>She bit my lip and moved her hand to cup my core, "Say it."</p><p>"Allie."</p><p>She pushed herself against me and I moaned at the feeling of her lips on my neck. She started to suck harder, I knew she was leaving marks, marking her territory. "Say it."</p><p>"Say what?"</p><p>"Say you're mine."</p><p>"I'm yours, you know it." </p><p>She moved my panties to the side and started to rub circles in my clit. I kissed Allie and pulled her shirt off. My hands roamed around her back as she pounded her fingers in and out of me. "Allie-more. I need more."</p><p>"You're mine."</p><p>"I'm yours, only yours. I only want you, please Allie."</p><p>She pulled her fingers out and I looked at her with confusion. She pulled the zipper down the side of my dress, dropping to her knees. She kissed down my body, biting my sides, biting my inner thighs. She pulled my panties down and I moaned feeling her tongue on my clit. "Right there-fuck yes."</p><p>I put my fingers in her hair guiding her to how I wanted it. I was so close, I felt my eyes rolling to the back of my head as she sucked my clit a little harder. "Allie, I'm so close."</p><p>I let go and I heard her moan as I came. I tried to be quiet but I couldn't hold it in, I really hoped Franky wasn't conscious. Allie kissed up my body and unclipped my bra. </p><p>She kissed me so I could taste myself, "You taste amazing."</p><p>I unzipped her pants and pushed her onto the bed, "And you're wearing too much clothing."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will and I got back home and I started to get ready for bed. He kissed my neck and hugged me. "She loved you."</p><p>"She was really nice. Great cook."</p><p>"You have no idea, just wait until the holiday's, she cooks up a storm."</p><p>I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thank you for whatever you said to her so she didn't ask about my family. I was afraid that she would when she was shooting questions at me."</p><p>"I told you, I'd take care of it. I didn't give her any insights, I just told her that you don't have a good relationship with your parents and you guys don't talk. My mom can take a hint."</p><p>"Thank you. I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea was wrapped around me and I was kissing her forehead. "What do you want to do tomorrow?"</p><p>Bea groaned and hugged me tighter, "I'll probably be cleaning puke out of Franky's hair and making her the greasiest breakfast in the world, not exactly what I want to do but you know."</p><p>"You're a good friend."</p><p>"She just misses Bridget."</p><p>"Would you go out clubbing and drinking if we were apart?"</p><p>Bea laughed, "I'd be in bed, wearing sweats, and drinking wine."</p><p>"Looking very cute."</p><p>"Shut up."</p><p>I kissed her and rubbed her arm, "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>In the morning I had a pounding headache, Franky was still knocked out, and Bea was fine. Cooking breakfast and looking normal. I went over to her and kissed her, "How are you okay? You drank more than I did?"</p><p>She kissed me and smiled, "Because you're a lightweight."</p><p>"Am not."</p><p>"Oh baby, it's okay. You can say it, lightweight."</p><p>"Shut up." I laughed. </p><p>I heard Franky groan and turned around to see her starting to wake up. Bea laughed and walked over to the couch. She bent down and ran her hand through Franky's hair. "Morning."</p><p>Franky opened her eyes slightly and quickly shut them again, "Too much light. Turn it off."</p><p>"That's the sun Franky." I answered. </p><p>"So, turn it off."</p><p>Bea smiled, "Come on, I made you breakfast." She handed Franky some coffee and aspirin. </p><p>"I love you."</p><p>"Back off." I joked. </p><p>Franky came to sit at the table and Bea served her breakfast. She gave me a plate and kissed the top of my head. "Okay, I have to go pick Deb off and drop her off at the shelter. I will see you two later." She pointed at Franky, "eat and rest." She looked at me, "you too."</p><p>"Thanks mom." Franky smiled. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I got in the car and drove. I lied to Franky and Allie, I didn't have to pick Deb up, her friend was giving her a ride. Will had sent me an address of a house that he wanted me to look at and I would have brought Allie but with her hangover, it would have been hell. And, I needed someone to babysit Franky. Also, I had a surprise for Franky later so I couldn't have her wandering off. </p><p>I got out of the car and looked around, it was a beautiful house. Big and had lots of rooms but it was just like any of the other ones that we had seen previously. I picked up the phone to call Will, "Hey."</p><p>"Hey, how do you like it?"</p><p>"It's beautiful Will but, I mean I think this whole house hunting surprise thing is a great idea, but you can't pick one without Kaz. She's the one that's going to be living in it, not me or Allie. Her, you, and the baby. She needs to be comfortable and feel like someone isn't deciding for her."</p><p>"You're right, I guess I just wanted to do something special."</p><p>"And it will be, but involve her in it. Bring her. Take her to the house we saw on Friday, the one with the big backyard and that beautiful kitchen Franky and I would die for."</p><p>"You're right, you're right, okay. I'll take her. I'll call the real estate agent and set up another date to see the house."</p><p>"Good, I'll talk to you later okay?"</p><p>I got in my car and checked my phone to see a notification. I opened and smiled, I put the car in drive. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>My head was still killing me. That was an awful idea. I looked at my bank account and wanted to die looking at that bill I got from the bar. Novak had finished showering and offered to drive me home because I quote 'looked like crap' unquote. I got home and immediately went to go shower. Novak was sitting in the kitchen reading a magazine, "You look beautiful honey."</p><p>"Fuck off." I grabbed some water from the fridge and took two more aspirins. </p><p>"Bea's going to come and pick me up in a bit. Do you want her to bring you anything?"</p><p>"Yeah, a gun so I can blow my head off. I'm going to bed to lie down."</p><p>"Okay."</p><p>I went to bed and laid on my stomach. I put the pillow over my head to block out the light. I heard a car beep which I know meant Red was here. Someone came into the room and came to sit on my bed. I thought it was Red and I groaned, "I'm blaming you for this fucking hangover Red, I want to die."</p><p>I felt a hand on my back, "That's why you aren't supposed to drink to black out baby." </p><p>I threw the pillow off of my head and turned around and leapt on top of Gidge. "Holy fuck, Gidge. What are you doing here? You aren't supposed to be back for another couple of days." </p><p>I kissed her and she smiled into the kiss, "I know but I was losing my mind over there, and Bea might have mentioned something."</p><p>"Fucking Red, did she make me sound like a pussy because I wasn't that bad I swear."</p><p>"Oh yeah sure." She kissed me deeply, "Don't worry baby, your secret is safe with me."</p><p>I pulled her onto me and kissed her. "Thank you for coming back."</p><p>"I missed you too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, I am so sorry for taking so long to update. Finals and work has been the definition of hell.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Superficial Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me just say this, I woke up this morning and I chose violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>I woke up early and looked over at the time, it was really early and I knew I could fit in a quick workout if I got up now but Allie was clinging to my side and I couldn't bring myself to move. I tried to remove myself, but the slightest movement I made she would snuggle up to me a little more. I smiled and kissed the top of her head. I moved my hand to caress her face and I rubbed her back, everything about this moment was perfect. </p><p>Once a few more minutes had passed I did my best to move out of her embrace which I hated the second I was up. I quickly got dressed and put my earphones in and started to work out. I let the songs keep playing as I continued to push through. I sat on the work bench and took a sip of water while wiping my face. I felt hands massaging my neck and a kiss on my shoulder. I pulled the earphones out and kissed Allie. "Morning."</p><p>"You left me."</p><p>"I stayed as long as I could."</p><p>"You still left me." She put her chin on my shoulder. </p><p>"I'm sorry baby. Had to get a workout in."</p><p>"I'm more important than a workout."</p><p>I smiled and turned around, "Of course you are, but maybe next time, you could join me."</p><p>Allie groaned, "I hate working out."</p><p>"You'll get rewarded for it."</p><p>"Yeah how?"</p><p>I grinned and kissed her, "For every sweaty workout you put in, you'll get a steamy shower with me."</p><p>Allie smiled, "Now you're talking my language." She kissed me and I got up.</p><p>I grabbed her hands, "I'll even give you a sneak peak of what those showers entail." </p><p>After our impromptu shower I got started on breakfast. Allie was hanging around drinking a cup of coffee, I caught her continually staring at me. "What?" I asked.</p><p>"Nothing, you're just so beautiful, and I am lucky to have you."</p><p>I went over and kissed her. "I love you." </p><p>Deb came and had breakfast. Afterwards I drove her to school, then drove Allie and I to work. I kissed her and told her to have a good day. I went upstairs and dropped my things off on the couch in my office when I was being hugged by Franky. "I love you Red, I could marry you."</p><p>"Please don't."</p><p>"Oi piss off, I'm trying to be thankful."</p><p>"Thank me with your words not your hands."</p><p>Franky laughed, "You're the best, I mean it. I don't know how you got Gidge to come back early but I'm telling ya, I am forever grateful."</p><p>"That was all her, I just mentioned how much of a baby you turn into without her here holding your hand."</p><p>She shoved me, "Alright, fuck off."</p><p>I laughed, "I'm glad it all worked out. Now, when are you guys going to start setting dates and actually planning on getting married?"</p><p>"Gidge and her mom have worked out all of that. I just have to show up."</p><p>"Franky, you have to be part of that process too."</p><p>"Eh, I don't like all of that Red. The flowers and the venues and crap. I just want to taste the food, cake, and get married."</p><p>"You're a child. Did you at least decide, dress?"</p><p>"Fuck no. Gidge is wearing a dress which is more than fine by me. I'd kill myself having to dress up like a fucking drag queen."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "Well it would match, you're very manly Franky."</p><p>Franky gave me the finger and I took a sip of water. "So does that mean I can't wear a dress either?"</p><p>"I haven't decided yet."</p><p>"Great, well, take your time, not like I have to know or anything."</p><p>"The wedding isn't for another couple of months, relax."</p><p>"Time flies Franky."</p><p>"Yeah yeah."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I was downstairs getting my tables ready and I saw Liz seating a man at Doreen's area. I recognized him almost immediately and I felt my stomach drop. Channing, Derek Channing. Fucking prick. He sat down and looked at the menu. I wanted to tear that menu from his hands and strangle him. I played out what it would feel like to have him gasping for air while my hands tightened around his throat. I was brought back to me standing in the middle of the restaurant and I went to me area. </p><p>Whatever he was doing here, hopefully he would be gone soon and I'd never have to see him again. I tried to avert my gaze and focused on the tables I had. I was allowing myself to live in this denial that he wasn't sitting 10 feet away from me, that was until I heard her voice, Marie. I quickly snapped my neck to look over at her smiling and sitting down at his table. </p><p>I could only imagine what it was they were discussing, actually, I didn't have to imagine it, I knew. I needed to get out of here but I didn't want to cause a scene. I didn't want Marie to see me. I clung onto one of the other waitresses arm and begged her to cover me. I offered to take any shift she needed covering and to buy her a drink. She nodded and asked me if I was okay, I shook my head and quickly ran to the back. I grabbed my bag and put my sweater on making sure I had my hoodie up. </p><p>I was about to leave when I felt a hand on me. I slapped it away and pushed whoever it was away from me. </p><p>"Fuck, relax Novak."</p><p>It was Franky, my heart was beating, I could hear it pounding in my ears. "I'm sorry, I thought-I'm sorry."</p><p>"What is the matter with you? I saw you talking to Jess and now you're off. You can't just leave, not without clearing it with me or Red, or at least Liz."</p><p>"I know, I'm sorry. But I can't be here. I have to go." </p><p>"Why? Where?"</p><p>"Franky please, I have to go." I pushed past her and walked out of the restaurant in a hurry. I felt like I could finally breathe when I felt the air hit my lungs. </p><p>I steadied myself against the wall outside when I heard Marie calling my name. I stopped in my tracks and I regretfully turned around. </p><p>"Allie, please. Talk to me." She came up to me.</p><p>"I don't want to talk to you, I want you out of my life."</p><p>"Sweetheart please."</p><p>"Don't, don't call me that. Please just stop."</p><p>"Allie, I've really missed you."</p><p>"No you don't. You are full of crap Marie. All you've ever loved about me was that I was stupid enough to fall for your lies and manipulation." </p><p>"Why do you continue to paint me to be some kind of villain. I never ever forced you to do anything you didn't want to do."</p><p>"No, I know you. You find desperate young girls and you suck them in, and you get them hooked on drugs and then you use them." </p><p>"That's Kaz Proctor's version."</p><p>"Kaz rescued me."</p><p>"Oh please Allie, she got into your head and you let her."</p><p>"Do you even hear yourself? Have you ever thought about the things you did to me, the things you've done to all those other girls. We remember things very differently Marie. You have tried to paint yourself to be some saint that gave us all a chance. That is not what you were, you took advantage of my situation and exploited me. I remember you gave me smack and you got me addicted to it."</p><p>"I never intended you to abuse it. It was your responsibility to control it."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"Like I do. Like I've always done."</p><p>"Fuck Marie, it's not that simple. You can't always control it. I couldn't. You got me hooked on that shit. You made me sell myself to all those men, men like fucking Channing and there you are having lunch with him like it's no fucking problem. If you loved me, the way you claim you do, you would have stopped. You would have gotten me out, you would have done a million other things. Instead, you kept me in and you forced that shit into my body and let those men do whatever they wanted to me."</p><p>"You could have said no."</p><p>"I did! I asked you to let me stop and you told me that if I loved you I'd keep doing it. How fucked up is that? You never loved me Marie, you loved what I could do for you." I felt tears running down my face. </p><p>"Allie, I have always loved you. I still do. Please Allie." She came close to me and put her hand on my cheek. My instinct was to slap her hand away but I couldn't. I was stuck in that moment with her and I couldn't run no matter how much my brain was screaming to move. Her eyes, she was sucking me back in. The way she could look at you and be able to contort everything to do what she wants to happen. I put my hand on top of hers and felt my eyes close.</p><p>"Allie." Bea's voice came from behind Marie. Fuck, how long had she been there. </p><p>I moved away from Marie's touch. "Bea."</p><p>"So we meet again." Marie smiled. "I don't think we were ever properly introduced, Bea is it?"</p><p>Bea looked at me with a look I couldn't register. She stepped forward and looked straight at Marie, "I told you to stay away from her, from us."</p><p>"And who exactly are you?"</p><p>"I'm her girlfriend, and I told you Marie, I know exactly who you are." </p><p>"Well, Allie and I were just catching up. So if you don't mind."</p><p>"Actually, I do fucking mind. Allie is still on the clock and you are distracting her from working."</p><p>"I'm a paying customer."</p><p>"Not anymore. I'm the manager and I have the right to refuse service to anyone. So you and your little friend can go somewhere else. Allie, let's go."</p><p>I started to follow Bea when Marie grabbed my wrist, "Sweetheart, you don't need this, this life. I can take care of you, like I always have. Think about it, we were good together. You don't need someone dictating you like that." She rubbed her thumb on the side of my wrist. "Think about it."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Franky had run up to come get me, she said something was wrong with Allie. Franky told me she had noticed a blonde woman following Allie out of the restaurant and that I should come down. I ran downstairs and left the restaurant. I saw Allie and Marie talking. I would have approached sooner but there was something there, I saw it. Allie looked frustrated but she didn't look agitated. The way Marie touched her, Allie liked it. She seemed to press herself into Marie's hand when Marie touched her cheek. I wasn't sure what it meant, but this wasn't hate or anger, this was love. The way Allie reacted to Marie's words and touches. </p><p>I interrupted because it got too much for me to bare, but I saw Marie grab Allie's wrist. Allie didn't push her away, it's like she invited the physical contact. I didn't even wait for Allie to follow me, I went back inside of the restaurant, I went to the hostess station and spoke to Liz for a minute. Allie followed shortly after and I motioned for her to go up to my office. </p><p>I went to go talk to some of the other waiters and to Franky. I went back upstairs and closed the door when I got to my office. I took my blazer off and put it on the chair. Allie was sitting on there couch looking at me, begging for me to say something first. I looked at her, "You have the rest of the day off. I already organized it with everyone else. Take the day and just do whatever, I can't have you here distracted." I sat down at my desk and got to work. </p><p>Allie stood up with a confused look on her face, "Bea, I can work. I'm not distracted, I was, but I'm not anymore."</p><p>"Let me rephrase myself. I think it would be best for you to go home Allie."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Because I said so. And, because I don't want you here."</p><p>"Bea, talk to me." </p><p>I forced myself to look at her, "You liked it, you liked her touching you."</p><p>"No, no I didn't."</p><p>"Of course you did. I saw you Allie!" I got up to face her, "I saw the way you reacted when she touched you, when she talked to you. She still has you. She still has that hold on you."</p><p>"Bea, it's not like that."</p><p>"Then what is it like? You practically melted into her touch. You still love her."</p><p>"No I don't."</p><p>"That's crap Allie. I saw it with my own eyes. You may hate Marie for everything she put you through and what she forced you to do, but you still loved her. After all of it, you still loved her. You still love her."</p><p>"Bea."</p><p>"Go home Allie."</p><p>"No Bea, talk to me. Please, I swear to you I do not love Marie."</p><p>"You still feel things for her. It can't all be her. This isn't a story Allie, she can't just cast a spell to make you look at her the way you did. Something is still there."</p><p>She came close to me, "Bea listen to me. I do not love Marie. I love you. The way I feel about you, I have never felt that way about anyone, ever. I thought what I had with Marie was love, but it wasn't. What you and I have, that's real, that's love." She grabbed my hands and kissed them. </p><p>I looked her in her eyes, I decided to test out a theory. I put my hand on her cheek to caress her and nothing changed, "There."</p><p>"What?" She asked. </p><p>"There's the proof. When Marie touched you, you had this look in your eyes, I've never seen it before. This glow, this trust, this warmth, this intimacy. You've never had that look with me. You've never reacted to my touch like that." I removed my hand and sat down at my desk. "Go home Allie."</p><p>"What, so that's it? You aren't even going to let me try to make this right?"</p><p>"What can you say to make this right huh? No come on, I want to hear it. What could you possibly say to make me trust you again? What could you possibly say to change what I saw out there?"</p><p>Allie looked like she was going to say something but nothing came out. "I don't know."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>She grabbed my hands and pulled me up so I was standing again, "But all I do know, is that I love you Bea Smith. More than I thought was possible. Whatever you think you saw-"</p><p>"I didn't make it up Allie! I saw you! I saw you with my own eyes, this isn't something someone told me. I saw you! You can't explain or defend your way out of that. Just go."</p><p>"Bea."</p><p>I sat down again and moved so I was facing away from her and looking at my computer screen. I saw her walk towards the door and she turned around to look at me with tears running down her face, "Please Bea, I love you. You have to know that. I'm sorry." She walked out of the office.</p><p>I did everything I could not to cry. I saw her, I saw her. You can't fake that. I grabbed the glass on my desk and threw it across the room. It hit the door and smashed into a bunch of pieces. I stood up and threw the papers on my desk and kicked my chair over. </p><p>Someone knocked on my door and Franky opened the door in the middle of my temper tantrum. "Red, hold on. Fuck what are you doing?"</p><p>"Get out Franky. Leave me alone."</p><p>She looked around as I paced around my office. I scratched my head and kicked over a side table I had. </p><p>"Red, what's going on? Is it Allie?"</p><p>"Go away Franky."</p><p>"Do you want me to get Gidge?"</p><p>I shook my head with tears burning my skin, "No. She can't help me. No one can." I sat down and put my face in my hands as I cried. Moments later I felt Franky wrap her arms around me and she hugged me as I cried.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Tell Me You Love Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Allie POV </p><p>This was wrong, all of this was so fucking wrong. I never saw Bea, I didn't see her watching me and watching what Marie was doing to me. I knew, deep down in my heart that I did not love Marie. She didn't have me, but she did have this pull on me that I couldn't detach myself from no matter how long I went without seeing, talking, or thinking about her. </p><p>Bea was heartbroken, I saw it. She was trying to use her anger to hide her pain, she was sad and I caused that. I made her feel inadequate in comparison to Marie which was fucking ridiculous because they were worlds apart. I wanted all of this to have been some weird fucked up nightmare that I could wake up from. I swore I would never hurt Bea again and I did it. </p><p>I called for a Lyft and took it to the shelter. I was in the backseat trying to gather all of my thoughts. I loved Bea, not Marie. But, when Bea asked me to explain why I reacted to Marie's touch the way I did, I couldn't give her an answer. I didn't know. I hated it, and I hated myself for it.</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>"You have to eat."</p><p>"Will, I ate an hour ago. I'm not hungry."</p><p>"Baby needs to get fed."</p><p>"The baby is fed, I'm going to get fat through all this food you keep giving me instead of the baby weight."</p><p>He groaned and I kissed him, "I appreciate what you're doing, but really, I can't eat anymore. Babe, these jeans used to fit me perfectly, I struggled to get in them this morning. No more over feeding me, please."</p><p>"Fine. Hey, do you think you could take the morning off on Friday?"</p><p>I thought about it, "I don't see why not. Why?"</p><p>"I have a surprise for you." He kissed the top of my head. </p><p>"Can I get a hint?"</p><p>He pretended to think about it, "No."</p><p>"Oh come on."</p><p>"It's a surprise Kar-"</p><p>"If you want to live to see this baby be born you better not finish that sentence."</p><p>He pulled me close to him and kissed me, "Fine."</p><p>There was a knock on the door and I told whoever was on the opposite side to come in. Will kissed my hand and started to leave. "Hey Allie."</p><p>I looked over and saw Allie, she was supposed to be working today. "Bubba, what are you doing here?"</p><p>She looked over at me, "Hey, can we talk?"</p><p>"Of course, come in. Will can you close the door?"</p><p>He nodded and gave me a concerning look. I closed the blinds and sat down near Allie, "Bubba what's wrong?"</p><p>"Marie."</p><p>"What now?"</p><p>"She showed up at the restaurant and she followed me outside and she was talking to me, trying to get in my head again. Kaz she did that thing and she caressed me and I didn't realize that Bea was watching and-"</p><p>"Okay Allie slow down. What happened with Bea?"</p><p>"She told me to go home. She was angry Kaz, she said that I never acted that way when she touched me."</p><p>"Acted how?"</p><p>"I don't know, like I melted in her hands. When Marie caressed me I-I don't know."</p><p>"Oh Bubba, come here." I hugged her while she cried. </p><p>"I can't lose her Kaz, I can't. She's all I have, I can't lose her because of a stupid mistake I made. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I don't love Marie anymore. I love Bea, I swear."</p><p>"Okay, Allie, go tell her that."</p><p>"I did, she didn't believe me."</p><p>I put my head in my hands, "Fuck, okay. But she didn't break up with you?"</p><p>"No, but Kaz she might. I mean, if she thinks I don't love her, or that I still love Marie, she'll end things with me."</p><p>"No she won't, she loves you."</p><p>"But if she thinks I don't love her, she won't keep me around." </p><p>"Allie, what you and Bea have is stronger than any crap life will throw at you. This is just a minor hiccup. Okay, sure Bea is a little upset now but it isn't worth throwing away your guys' entire relationship."</p><p>"I don't want to give up Kaz, I love her."</p><p>"Then prove it."</p><p>"How the fuck am I supposed to do that?"</p><p>"You're a smart girl, you'll figure it out. And, when you do, I'll be there too help you."</p><p>"Kaz, what if it doesn't change anything?"</p><p>"You're already expecting defeat when you haven't even tried. You need to prove to Bea that whatever she saw, wasn't real. It was a stupid relapse on your part because of that fucking bitch. What you feel for her, is stronger."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Red had calmed down a bit but this was bad. She was upset but she was really fucking angry. She told me what happened and no matter how hard I tried to explain to her that it probably didn't mean anything, she wouldn't budge. She was dead set on the idea that Allie still loved this Marie chick. </p><p>I asked Red if she wanted to take the day off and she said no, she wanted to focus on work. I was panicking, I didn't know what to do. I could call Gidge but Red said no and I didn't know where Novak was. My phone started ringing and I answered, "Hey Kaz, not a great time right now."</p><p>"I'm with Allie."</p><p>"What the fuck is up with your girl? She can't act lovey dovey with another chick in front of her girlfriend. Even I know that's not right."</p><p>"You don't know Marie. Look, Allie wants to make this right but Bea isn't going to listen to anything she has to say right now. We're trying to come up with something to fix this but I need you to keep me posted if Bea leaves or says anything."</p><p>"Fine, but you better fix this Kaz."</p><p>"I'm trying Franky." </p><p>I hung up and I called Gidge anyway. She answered right away, "Hi baby."</p><p>"Hey spunky, I need your help."</p><p>"What's wrong."</p><p>"It's Red, it's bad."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I know Franky was trying to help but I needed to be alone. I know it may seem like I overreacted but I saw her, fuck I saw her. I don't even know why I stayed at work, I couldn't fucking concentrate on what I was supposed to be doing. I was angry, I was probably more angry at myself than I was at Allie. </p><p>I thought this Marie crap was over but she's like a leech that won't go away. I heard a knock at my door and groaned, "Franky, I swear to God."</p><p>The door opened anyway and Bridget walked through, "Good thing I'm not Franky."</p><p>I sighed, "I told her not to call you."</p><p>"Disadvantage of your best friend being fiancees with your therapist eh?" She looked around and sat down on the chair opposite of me. "Bit of damage going on."</p><p>"You here to tell me that I didn't actually see what I saw, just a fragment of my imagination?"</p><p>"No, I'm here to listen to you and let you really sort out your feelings, the same feelings that pushed you to nearly destroy your office. Now, for someone like Franky, that's a regular response I'm used to. To you, you don't act out Bea, you never have, what's changed?"</p><p>"Maybe I'm spending too much time with Franky."</p><p>"Maybe, or maybe something else is going on. Tell me, come on. What's going on?"</p><p>I told her what happened and every feeling I had in every moment. I told her the rage that built up inside of me and this anger that's still here. I told her about every emotion I went through in that short span of time. </p><p>"What caused you to think that Allie didn't love you anymore?"</p><p>"Bridget, she looked at Marie with-I've never seen her like that before. It's like, Marie still has a piece of her. And at any given moment, if she wanted to, she could go back to her." </p><p>"Then why hasn't she?"</p><p>"I don't know. But that's the thing, Bridget it's still there. That love she once had for Marie is still there."</p><p>"Allie chose you. Whatever moment you saw between the two of them, it's natural Bea. Marie and Allie were together for a long time. Marie represented everything Allie wanted and couldn't have, everything she was never given. Love, a home, someone to love, someone to care for, someone who loved and cared for her. No matter what bad Marie did to Allie, those feelings don't just disappear. When Harry died, you still felt loss because you two had a life together. It wasn't a good life, but it was a life. Allie may not have understood that grief but she let you go through it."</p><p>I stayed quiet and let what Bridget was saying really get through to me. "Bridget, I get that Allie and Marie had a life together. But how does that excuse what I saw?"</p><p>"You know, a while back I ran into an ex of mine and she did everything she could to get inside of my head. She played on my insecurities about my and Franky's age gap and the chance of Franky one day leaving me for someone younger and better."</p><p>"Franky wouldn't do that."</p><p>"I know, but for the slightest moment, I let my mind go there. Why? Because she planted that seed in my head. In the numerous sessions that you and I have had, you have talked about the way Harry used to belittle and talk down to you. To make you feel unloved and inadequate. Is there any chance that those thoughts resurfaced when you saw Marie and Allie have a moment?"</p><p>I slowly nodded. "Okay, maybe I let his words get into my head, especially in that moment. But, I saw them Bridget. If you were in my position, you can't tell me you would have just walked away and been fine with what you saw." I waited for an answer. </p><p>She twiddled with her thumbs, "No, maybe not."</p><p>I stood up and walked towards the wall and leaned against it, "So what the hell do I do? I want nothing more than to believe Allie, to believe that she doesn't love Marie anymore, but I can't. I just can't. Not after what I saw. I know I my sound insane, but I know what I saw between them. You can't make that up, there is still a fire there, a spark between them." </p><p>"Do you plan on breaking up with Allie?"</p><p>I sighed, "I don't know. I don't-" I let out a frustrated groan and I sat at the couch putting a hand over my chest, "I love her Bridget. I've never felt like this before about anyone. I can't lose her, but I can't continue if I have even the slightest feeling that she still wants Marie. I can't compete with someone like her. I don't want to end things, I really don't. And all I'm thinking about right now, is that I pushed her away and she might be out there doing God knows what. The last time she felt alone she bought drugs, what if I pushed her to do that again? What if I'm her trigger? I can't keep doing this to her."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I wanted this to work, I needed this to work. The thought of losing Bea made me want to die. She's the only good thing I have. I can't let Marie win. I won't. Apparently Kaz had gotten Franky to pick Debbie up from school so Bea and I could be alone. Kaz drove me around to do what it is I needed to get done as I continued to panic and over talk. She kept telling me to calm down and take a breath. </p><p>Kaz dropped me off and told me to call her if I needed anything. I waited and felt like I was going to throw up. Franky texted me that Bea was on her way home and not to fuck it up. I felt the anxiety settling in and the fear of having to do this again. This wasn't like any other fight with the slight chance of prevail, this could be it, over. This could be the end of us. The thought alone made me want to disappear forever.</p><p>I heard her car pull up and I stood up. Her keys unlocked the door and she came through. She dropped her bag on the counter and we made eye contact. "Bea."</p><p>"Allie, I'm really not in the mood and I'm really fucking tired okay? Let's talk about this tomorrow."</p><p>"No, I need for us to be okay. I can't go to bed not knowing what's going to happen to us. I need to know. Bea please look at me." I came over and got close to her. I pulled her to me and forced her to look at me, "I love you. This, what you and I have is more real than anything I have ever experienced."</p><p>"Allie, do you still love her?"</p><p>"No, I swear to you Bea I don't."</p><p>"Then what the hell was that?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>Bea rolled her eyes and went to walk away from me. </p><p>I moved in front of her, "No wait. I know that sounds like a really shitty excuse and you're right, it is. I can't explain why I didn't move away from Marie or why I didn't try to do a million other things other than just letting her touch me. I wish I was strong enough to have fought her, but I just couldn't. Marie, she's always been able to do that, to me to any girl on the street. It's like a game to her, and I was stupid enough to get caught in it."</p><p>"Then how does that not equate to you still caring about her, still loving her?"</p><p>"Because whatever you saw, wasn't the same to how I felt. I knew what that was, it was a moment of stupidity that was built on lies and deceit. What you and I have," I got closer to her and brought her towards me, "that is so much more powerful than anything Marie can try to force."</p><p>She looked up at me with tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry Allie, I can't believe that." She started to walk towards the bedroom and I followed shortly after. She was dead in her tracks standing looking at the room filled with rose petals and candles. </p><p>I wrapped my arms around hers and kissed her cheek, "I wanted some big romantic gesture but they all seemed really cheesy and I know after today all you want is the truth. That truth is, I love you Bea Smith, more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I was hooked. No pun intended, I swear. Speaking of, I want to make things right. I don't want you to ever doubt me or think I would ever lie to you so I did something today that I hate and wanted to blow my brains out afterwards because its such a bore." I pulled out a chip from my pocket and handed it to her. It had the number 4 engraved in it surrounded by the words unity, service, recovery. "I went to a meeting today. Not necessarily because I felt the need to use but because what you think of me matters. I want you to believe me and trust me. So I have been clean and sober 4 years today, Kaz happened to remind me and told me a meeting would do me good. I disagree because I hate those meetings but I was hoping it would show you that I'm serious about being a better me."</p><p>She turned around to look at me and she pulled me into a hug, "Allie I didn't know."</p><p>"If it makes you feel better I had forgotten so that makes us two peas in a pod you and me. Plus it's my responsibility to keep track I just got a bit sidelined by meeting a woman who has changed me for the better." </p><p>She looked at me with tears in her eyes, "Allie, I don't want to keep you from being happy with someone who-"</p><p>"Stop. I know what you're going to say and I don't want to hear it. You, you are the only person in this entire world I want to be with, who I am meant to be with. Please, don't push me away. I can't bare the thought of being without you. I won't survive it, I mean it. And, I wanted to do something small for you, something I hope you won't mind but it just reminds me of how spectacular you are." I walked towards the bed and handed her the photo album that was on the bed. </p><p>She gave me a confused look and opened it. Her eyes looked over at each picture and I saw the tears beginning to form. "Allie, where did you find these?"</p><p>I grinned, "The one place you would hide things from me because you swear I would never dare go near it. Behind the workout equipment. I started to realize that you spent so much time sketching and drawing but you never showed them to me, the ones you did you were still shy about which I found absolutely ridiculous because they were stunning. So I did some snooping around and stumbled upon your box of sketchbooks a while back and swore when the time was right I would piece it all together one day for you. So, I thought maybe I could redeem myself for my stupid actions today by going through and picking my favorite ones. Then I took them to get printed out and put in this album book for you so everyday you could see the beautiful art you make. The art I love, made by the woman I love." </p><p>"Allie, I-you shouldn't have done this."</p><p>"I wanted to. You deserve to be proud of your work. You are an amazing artist, and I love your drawings. I think my favorite past time is looking at you when you draw because you get so focused on what you're doing that you don't realize how breathtakingly beautiful you look to me. And you do this thing, where you crinkle the bridge of your nose whenever you accidentally draw outside the line and how satisfied you are when you finally finish it."</p><p>"Allie, I don't deserve you. I treated you horribly this morning and-"</p><p>"And I probably would have done the same thing, maybe even worse. Babe, I almost killed that girl at the club for even breathing near you. I want you to know that I love you Bea, I need you to believe that."</p><p>She turned her face so I wouldn't see her cry. I brought her to me and I kissed her on her lips. She kissed me back and I felt her coming back to me. I hugged her and held her tightly afraid that this moment would be over too soon. She looked at me, "What?"</p><p>I felt the emotion start to choke me up, "I thought I almost lost you. And you'd think it would be one of those things where my worst fear would be losing you to an accident or something like that, which is true. But I realized today, that I can't imagine a life without you. it would kill me to lose you and not be able to be near you, knowing you'd move on or keep living without being in my life. Having you just be a memory or just an image in my mind. I can't stand the idea of not having you with me, it's terrifying. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life. I want to always have you Bea, I want to always be with you."</p><p>She wiped the tears from my face, "And you will. You and me, we are in this together no matter what. I'm sorry."</p><p>"Whatever you think she could do for me that you couldn't, you're wrong. No one makes me feel the way you do, no one makes me smile or laugh the way you do. Every morning, I'm lucky to wake up with you, that is unless you leave me alone to go work out, gross. Every night, I get to hold you and fall asleep with you. You do things to me that no one else possibly could. When you touch me, kiss me, love me, no one else could ever make me feel that bliss and peace." I kissed her deeply, she moaned and I put my hand on her cheek. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Our foreheads touched and Bea smiled looking at me, "Maybe Debbie was right."</p><p>"About?"</p><p>"We need a vacation."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>No more violence, I swear. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and is surrounded by loved ones and happiness. Thank you all for the lovely comments, I appreciate all of the feedback I get.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Safe Haven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>Franky had dropped Debbie off a couple of hours later. Allie was in the shower and Debbie asked me if everything was alright.</p><p>"We're okay, just a minor bump on the road but we're back on track."</p><p>"You guys aren't going to break up right?"</p><p>"No. I told you, we're okay. But you might want to start thinking."</p><p>Debbie was taking a bite of an apple, "Thinking of what?"</p><p>"Where we should go on vacation."</p><p>She looked at me with a huge smile, "Seriously?"</p><p>"Seriously."</p><p>She came over to hug me, "Oh my God. I'm so excited. When?"</p><p>"After you finish all your final exams. That way you have an incentive to do well."</p><p>"I'm going to pass the shit out of those exams."</p><p>"Debbie! Langauge. No more going over to Franky's."</p><p>Debbie rolled her eyes and Allie came out of the restroom in pajamas, drying her hair, "Hey kiddo."</p><p>Debbie smiled, "Vacation time, I'll start planning." She hugged Allie and ran to her room. </p><p>Allie laughed and walked over to me. She pulled me into her embrace and we kissed. "So I'm taking that reaction to mean she's excited."</p><p>"I couldn't tell." I joked. </p><p>Allie wrapped her arms around my waist bringing me closer to her. She kissed my ear and set her chin on my shoulder. I had my hand rubbing her back and she whispered to me, "Come to bed with me. Those candles are going to go to waste."</p><p>I kissed her and nodded. I put my glass in the sink and followed her to the bedroom. She moved the rose petals around a bit so she could move the covers. We both got in and she held me in bed. She was caressing my arm as I looked through the album again. She'd comment on which ones she liked the most and why. Even though it was the smallest gesture, it made me realize that she saw things I never thought she would. I didn't think she payed any attention when I would draw, in the beginning I'd hide it from her because I used to have to hide it from Harry. She kissed my temple and held me tighter. "You know those weird moments where you kind of see versions of your life play out but it's kind of all a dream because it hasn't happened yet but you can see it so clearly?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"I had one of those in the shower and I started thinking and I don't want to pressure you or make you think that I'm asking right now but I am curious."</p><p>"What?" I moved so I was looking at her.</p><p>"Would you want to marry me one day? I know you're already been there and done that so maybe it's not something you want anymore but I was just thinking that maybe one day-"</p><p>I pulled her into a kiss and moved so I was straddling her. We separated and I moved my thumbs so they would trace her bottom lip and I smiled at her, "Yes. One day, not today or tomorrow but one day I would love nothing more than to be your wife."</p><p>She smiled and kissed me again, "Thank God. I don't think I could have handled more rejection."</p><p>I laughed and she moved her hand that was rubbing my back under my shirt. I felt her cold hands touching me but it felt nice. We had a long and heated make out session like two horny teenagers. Allie was sucking on my neck as I moved against her wanting to take her clothes off. She looked up at me and pulled me into another kiss, "You want to know what you do to me? How you make me feel?"</p><p>I nodded and she grabbed my hand moving it down her pants and down her underwear. She was soaking wet and I let my fingers move alongside her folds. She bit her lip and moved her head to the side as I left love bites down her neck. She gasped when I entered her and I kissed her deeply to stop her moaning, "Am I the only one who can do that to you?"</p><p>"Yes. Only you."</p><p>I kissed her deeply and pushed her so she was laying down on the bed. I got on top of her while removing my top. "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge was reading a book in bed and I went over to sit near her. She looked up from her book, "What?"</p><p>"Thank you for coming when I called."</p><p>"Thank you for calling me."</p><p>I moved the book out of her hand and brought her closer to me. She put her hand on the side of my face, "What's wrong baby?"</p><p>"I really love you Bridget. I'm so lucky to have you."</p><p>"Aww baby, I'm lucky to have you too."</p><p>"I don't know what I would have done. I mean, Red she's okay a lot of the time but I wouldn't have known what to say to her when she started throwing shit."</p><p>"Sometimes it's not about saying the right thing but about just listening."</p><p>"Sure, but you're really good at it. And it made me wonder if that's how I am whenever I get upset."</p><p>"You throw things because you're trying to get your frustration out and your voice heard. I know how to handle that."</p><p>"You're the only one who still sticks with me even through all of that, I don't deserve you."</p><p>She kissed me and looked me in my eyes, "You deserve everything and more."</p><p>I grabbed her hands, "Marry me."</p><p>She laughed, "You asked me that already, remember?" She showed me the ring.</p><p>"No I mean like now. Well, not like now now but soon. I don't want to wait. I don't need a big thing and I know you don't either. Just our friends and family. I want to marry you Gidge."</p><p>She smiled and nodded, "Okay, then let's get married."</p><p>I pulled her on top of me and we kissed. She looked at me grinning, "I'm going to be Mrs. Bridget Doyle-Westfall."</p><p>I put my head on her chest turning my face so she wouldn't see me. She pulled me to face her, "Baby, why are you upset?"</p><p>"I'm not upset, it's just, I'm finally going to have a family."</p><p>"Oh baby, you've always had a family. But, I'm happy I get to be fully part of yours. And now, you're going to fully be part of mine."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I woke up in Allie's arms and chose to skip my workout to stay there with her. I moved my hand to touch her neck slightly, seeing the small bruises I had made last night. My chest was covered in hickey's and I loved that they were made by her. I kissed her cheek and down her jaw, she began to wake up and put her hand on the back of my head bringing me closer to her. "Much better morning than yesterday."</p><p>"I skipped my workout for you, you are an awful influence."</p><p>"Good, it's working. Soon you'll never workout again and we'll spend all day eating and sleeping."</p><p>"That may work for you miss fast metabolism but at my age, not so much."</p><p>She kissed me, "Shut up. You aren't old, plus, you don't even need to work out. Although, I do love feeling how strong your arms are."</p><p>"Come on, time for breakfast." I made Debbie and Allie breakfast and I showered while they ate. I got ready for work and Allie was struggling to cover her love bites. I pointed at her concealer, "Does the job better than foundation."</p><p>"Should I question how you know that?"</p><p>I grinned and kissed her, "No."</p><p>We dropped Debbie off and drove to work. I went upstairs and picked up the mess I left my office in. I could hear Franky coming upstairs and I waited outside my door. She looked at me, "All good?"</p><p>"Yes." I pulled her into a hug. "Thank you for calling Bridget."</p><p>"Speaking of, we're getting married."</p><p>"No shit Sherlock, you proposed weeks ago."</p><p>"No I mean, sooner. I don't want to wait to make her my wife. We aren't doing the big thing. Something small and simple, with our closest friends and family."</p><p>"That, is a great idea. So, what am I wearing?"</p><p>"Women's tux, and believe me I'm doing you a favor." </p><p>I scoffed, "What's that supposed to mean?"</p><p>"Listen, you are a stunner in a dress, don't get me wrong. But, Novak loses her mind when she sees you in suits. You my friend, will be getting extra laid the day of my wedding."</p><p>"Piss off."</p><p>The days came and went and Franky and I would spend time after work talking through wedding details on her side and stuff she had planned with Bridget. Bridget's friend Vera was going to be her maid of honor and we were keeping it at one person each. Bridget's parents and some close friends would be attending and Franky's closest friends would also be attending. Franky was very particular about the food and who she planned to pick for catering. Franky and Bridget had set to go try cakes next week. Bridget was going to look at dresses this weekend and Franky wanted me to go with her to go pick out tuxes. </p><p>On Friday morning Allie would come up to see me any chance she got to see if I got any updates from Will. "They haven't gotten to the house yet. Calm down."</p><p>"I want to know everything about her reaction. She is going to love that house Bea."</p><p>"I know she is but let her see it first and really experience it. I'm sure you'll be her first call."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will was being suspicious. He's been spending all morning on his phone talking to someone and he won't tell me what this surprise was. I was feeling tired this morning and all I wanted was to stay in bed but whatever this surprise was couldn't wait. </p><p>He drove into a neighborhood I didn't recognize and seemed to text somebody. He looked over at me, "Okay, let's go." </p><p>We got out of the car and a woman came out. "Will, it's great to see you again. Hi, I'm Olivia."</p><p>"Hi." I shook her hand, still unsure of what was going on. </p><p>She looked over at Will, "I'll give you two a minute."</p><p>Will grabbed my hand and he brought me inside to the house. I looked around and noticed immediately that is was empty. </p><p>"What do you think?"</p><p>"It's empty."</p><p>"Well, depending on how you feel about it, you can start filling it up whenever you're ready."</p><p>I looked at him in complete shock, "Will, I don't understand."</p><p>He took my hand and walked me over to the sliding door that led to the back yard. It was big, lots of space. "This is my favorite part. When I look at this house I see a life with you and me in it. A life for me, you, and the baby. This big backyard a kid could run around and play in. Somewhere you and I can relax in after a long day. I was hoping, you'd see that with me too."</p><p>"Will, did you buy this house already?" </p><p>"Not yet, I'm waiting for your seal of approval." </p><p>I looked around and was touched by his sentiment. "Will, I can't let you buy this house for me. I mean, come on, this is insane. It's going to cost you an arm and a leg to pay for it and I can't have you feeling like you have to do this if it isn't what you want."</p><p>He grabbed my hands and kissed them, "I want this, all of it. This isn't something I'm forcing myself into, it's something I really want with you. Unless, this isn't something you want."</p><p>I brought his lips to mine. "I don't deserve you or any of this. I can't believe this is real."</p><p>"Say yes."</p><p>I smiled and kissed him again, "Yes. I want it, I want the life you see for us in this house with our baby. You have changed my life for the better Will Jackson, and I thank you for it, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you for everything you have given me through your love and support."</p><p>"You already have, you've made me the happiest man alive. So, would you like to take a look at the rest of the house before we agree. There are other houses we've looked at but everyone agreed this one was the best, I just had to get your say so first."</p><p>"Who's we?"</p><p>"Bea and Allie."</p><p>"Of course." I smiled. "Let's look at all of it."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket and I quickly excused myself from a conversation I was having with another waitress. I pulled my phone out and saw Kaz's name. "Hello."</p><p>"You and Bea are dead when I see you next."</p><p>"What why?"</p><p>"You should have told me."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "It was a surprise Kaz, did you at least like it."</p><p>"I loved it. It's a beautiful house Allie."</p><p>"Bea called it. Plus you can't get mad at us, Will was going to buy the house and give it to you as a surprise but Bea told Will to consult with you first. Make sure you were alright with everything."</p><p>"Then maybe she's off the hook, but not you. You could have given me a warning."</p><p>"Ugh come on, no fair. I was helping."</p><p>"Mmhmm, but now I feel like he's doing all this stuff for me and I haven't done anything for him."</p><p>"Kaz, you're having his child. More than enough."</p><p>"Allie, I've never really lived with a man before. I've always lived on my own or with you whenever I let you crash at my place."</p><p>"So, you and Will practically live together already."</p><p>"Yeah but this would be for real. What if he doesn't like living with me."</p><p>"Kaz come on, if there was anything he hated or disliked about you it would have come out by now. I think you're in the clear. Don't overthink this, let it be and be happy."</p><p>"When did you become the one with all the good advice?"</p><p>"I have my moments."</p><p>"Okay, I should go. He wants to start signing the papers. Allie, thank you, to you and Bea."</p><p>I hung up and went upstairs and knocked, "She loved it."</p><p>Bea smiled, "I knew it. And before I forget, Franky and I are going tux shopping tomorrow so I won't be home."</p><p>I walked over to her and pulled her up from her chair kissing her, "Ooo can I come?"</p><p>"No. It's a surprise. Plus, I know you. You'd use me undressing as an excuse to come "help" me in the dressing room."</p><p>"I would be helping." I smiled. </p><p>She kissed me, "It will only be for a couple hours baby. Knowing Franky, she'd pick out the first outfit she tried, she hates shopping."</p><p>"Ugh fine. But you'll have to make it up to me later."</p><p>"Oh definitely."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This took me so long to write for absolutely no reason. Better chapters coming soon I promise.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Keep Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV</p><p>Just like I thought, Franky and I went to about 4 stores and she had been over it since we left the first one. Franky wasn't a shopper, I mean neither was I but I had to learn to have patience once I had Debbie. She could spend all day at the mall trying on outfit after outfit, it was ridiculous. </p><p>"Red, I want to go home."</p><p>I groaned, "You haven't decided yet. We can't push this off if you and Bridget keep pushing the wedding up."</p><p>"Who cares about what what I'll be wearing anyway. All eyes are going to be on Gidge."</p><p>"Pictures Franky. Those will be the pictures you and Bridget will look at for the rest of your lives, you'll care about what you're wearing then."</p><p>"Fine. But after going through so many, they all seem the same to me."</p><p>"What about that second store, they had nice choices that you liked."</p><p>"I guess."</p><p>"Come on, we can go back and really look. If you really don't see anything you like then we'll make time to come during the week."</p><p>"Fine."</p><p>We walked down the street and turned a corner to reach the second store we had visited earlier. Franky and I went looking around and I heard Franky get frustrated, "Maybe Gidge should have worn the tux, she would look fucking amazing in this." She showed me a white blazer. </p><p>"Right, like you'd wear a dress."</p><p>Franky nodded in agreeance. "What about this one?" She showed me a black lapel women's tux that seemed more her style. Not too much, simple and elegant.</p><p>"Try it on." I motioned to the dressing room and she went in. </p><p>I found black dress pants that went with a really nice buttoned blazer. Depending on Franky's opinion, I could wear a white button up under and keep the blazer slightly open or just stay with the blazer tightly buttoned up. </p><p>"So, how do I look?"</p><p>I turned around and smiled. "You look amazing." The outfit really went with Franky and fit her perfectly. "That's the one."</p><p>She came over to look at herself in the mirror, "I like it." She turned around and smiled, "I think this is the one too." She pointed at the dressing room, "Your turn."</p><p>I went over and changed quickly and came out. "Okay so I was thinking, I could leave it buttoned up like this or wear a white dress shirt underneath to keep it more idealistic."</p><p>"Fuck no, you are wearing it exactly like that."</p><p>I looked at myself in the mirror. "You sure? I can change something or-"</p><p>"Believe me, Novak is going to die when she sees you."</p><p>"This is about your wedding Franky, not Allie."</p><p>"Just trust me. Plus, if you decide to go back to the red and wear this, I might just have to reconsider who I'm marrying."</p><p>"Shut up." I laughed. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Once Red and I agreed to stick with the final outfits we had some alterations made so they would fit us exactly. Red was going to pick them up later on in the week and keep them at her place to keep the suspense alive or whatever. </p><p>I got home before Gidge did and got started on dinner. I was happy, and I mean really happy. I couldn't believe it, I was getting married to the woman of my dreams and it was all coming true in 4 weeks time. Gidge was stressed and I'd do whatever I could to help her relax. Her mom wanted things to be perfect and Gidge just wanted to keep it at simple like we had agreed. </p><p>I heard Gidge's car beep as I had just finished dinner. I wiped my hands and ran over to open the door. She smiled as soon as she saw me, "Hiya baby."</p><p>"Hi spunky." I kissed her and she smiled into the kiss. </p><p>"Ooo, that smells good."</p><p>"Just for you."</p><p>She put her bag down and went to pull me into another kiss. "How was your day?"</p><p>"Pretty good, yours?"</p><p>She nodded, "I found it, the dress."</p><p>"Where is it?"</p><p>"Still at the store, then it will go to Vera's house, bad luck to see the dress before the wedding."</p><p>"Oh come on."</p><p>"Sorry baby, you'll just have to wait until the day comes."</p><p>I groaned and she kissed me. "Did you find your tux?"</p><p>"Mmhmm, we're getting it altered. It's simple but I liked it. And, I secured Red the chance of getting laid."</p><p>Gidge laughed and took her shoes off. "Can you believe it? One month from now, you and me will be married and honeymooning in the Bahamas."</p><p>"Sun, swimming, and sex all day long."</p><p>Gidge laughed, "My mom wants to know if we'll be writing our own vows or repeating after the minister."</p><p>"Maybe we should stick to repeating, I'll turn into a blubbering mess if I have to say my own."</p><p>She wrapped her arms around me, "Okay. If I'm being honest I'm not sure I'd be able to get through it either." </p><p>I brought her closer to me, "I can't wait for you to be my wife." I kissed her and pulled her to the kitchen, "Let's eat."</p><p>"Um, Franky."</p><p>"Um, Gidget." I laughed. </p><p>"Have you decided?"</p><p>"On?"</p><p>"If you wanted to have a bachelorette party."</p><p>I groaned. We had spent the last couple of days deciding on this and I had chosen not to have one. Dinner with friends was good enough but Gidge thought I was lying about not wanting one. I mean, I wasn't lying but I didn't want to have her worry, I've been to plenty and it's just an excuse for people to get close enough to cheating without actually doing it. I didn't want to do that to her or to myself. "Gidge, I told you I don't need one."</p><p>"But you do want one. Franky, it won't upset me if you want to go out and enjoy your last night of being a free woman."</p><p>"But that's just it, Gidge, I don't see it as a prison sentence. I won't be trapped or tied down, I'll be happy with the love of my life."</p><p>"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you can't have one. I want you to go and have fun." </p><p>I pushed her up against the counter and kissed her deeply. She ran her fingers through my hair as I pushed my leg in between her legs, pressing my thigh against her. I heard her moan as we battled for control. She eventually gave up and let me take over. I pushed her jacket off her shoulders and let if fall to the ground. "Now, what can be more fun than this?" I winked at her. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Debbie and I had spent the day playing board games and watching movies. She was throwing around destination ideas she had for us to go to after Franky and Bridget got back from their honeymoon. Bea got home and she came over to kiss me. </p><p>"How'd it go?" I asked. </p><p>"Good. We got our outfits and are just waiting for some minor changes to make them more fitting."</p><p>"We started on dinner." Debbie said. </p><p>Bea made a face and looked over at the kitchen. </p><p>"We put the frozen pizza in the oven." I corrected. </p><p>She laughed, "Wow, my two chefs."</p><p>She went to the bedroom to get changed and came to sit with me on the couch. I put my hand on her leg and heard the timer go off. I got up and served us all pizza and got Bea a glass of wine. She thanked me and I sat down next to her. Debbie put a new movie on I noticed Bea rubbing her arms. "Are you cold?"</p><p>"A bit. I'll warm up in a bit."</p><p>I grabbed her red blanket from the bedroom and wrapped it around her placing a kiss on her forehead. She pulled me into a quick kiss and I wrapped my arm around her. </p><p>We were all talking about the wedding when I suggested that Debbie should bring Nat as her date. </p><p>"He's not even my boyfriend yet Allie."</p><p>"Then what is he exactly?" Bea asked. </p><p>"I don't know, we're just talking."</p><p>"What the hell does that even mean?" </p><p>"Like we aren't together together, but we're talking."</p><p>"I still don't know what that means."</p><p>Debbie rolled her eyes and continued to try to explain but got nowhere. She blamed it on us being old to which Bea responded by throwing a pillow at her. Debbie laughed and after some time said she was going to bed. </p><p>Bea and I stayed semi-watching the movie. "So, when do I get to see what you picked out?"</p><p>"The day of the wedding."</p><p>"What? Why?"</p><p>"Bad luck."</p><p>"That only applies to the brides you dork."</p><p>She laughed and kissed me.</p><p>"Can I at least get some kind of a hint?"</p><p>"Hmmm, well, it's black."</p><p>"Great thank you, I can see it now." I joked. I had one of my hands placed on her leg and slowly moved it up to her thigh. I felt her shiver and I looked to make sure Debbie's door was closed. I moved my hand and my fingers to touch her outside of her clothing. She grabbed my hand trying to stop me but I slowly and torturously moved my fingers to touch her. I felt the wetness start to form and could tell she wanted more. I kissed her neck and moved so I had my legs around her while continuing to touch her outside of her pajama pants. </p><p>"Allie, cut it out."</p><p>"I'm not doing anything." I trailed my hand up her shirt to touch her abs and then moved it slowly down her pants. I whispered in her ear, "You're so wet babe."</p><p>She turned around and kissed me forcefully. "Bedroom. Now." </p><p>I grinned and followed her where she made sure I finished what I started. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I was laying in Franky's arms and I let my hands wander over her tattoos. I remember watching how beautiful and colorful they were the first time we met. They matched her energy. I traced her spiral with my finger and she kissed the top of my head, "You should get one."</p><p>I laughed, "I wouldn't know what to get or where to put it."</p><p>"You could get a tramp stamp."</p><p>"In your dreams."</p><p>"You could get some cliche quote or something super gay like that."</p><p>I laughed, "I'll pass for now."</p><p>"I'd reckon you'd look good with a bit of ink."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah, you'd definitely look like a spunk. I'm surprised you never got any."</p><p>"I never thought of it. I thought they were cool and all but I was never attracted enough to get any of my own. Maybe all I needed was a hot fiancee with loads of them to make me happy."</p><p>Franky grinned and kissed me. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Will's mom had congratulated us over getting the house. We still had a couple more weeks for everything to go through before we could actually move into the house. We were planning on keeping most of my furniture and some of his but getting everything else new, as a fresh start. </p><p>He couldn't stop talking about how excited he was for the baby, he lit up when he talked about anything remotely involving the babies room or doctor visits. He was too good for me. </p><p>When we woke up Sunday morning he brought me closer to him and asked me if I wanted breakfast. I nodded and he kissed my forehead while jumping up to get started. I took a shower and got dressed and he put a plate in front of me. I took some bites and looked at him, "Hey so I'm going to see Allie in a bit so I won't be in until later today okay?"</p><p>"Sure, do you want me to go with you?"</p><p>"No I'll be alright. I'll bring you some coffee when I get back."</p><p>He kissed me and went to go shower. I grabbed my jacket and keys and took a moment to compose myself before furiously driving to that path I unfortunately recognized too well. I parked down the street and waited. A girl I recognized came out of the building and nodded at me. I got out of the car and walked near her. "Anyone I should be worried about?"</p><p>"Drago went out for an errand, no other muscle inside. You should be good."</p><p>I nodded and thanked her telling her to come find me at the shelter whenever she was ready. I walked into the brothel and did everything I could to restrain myself from everything that was going on around me. I hated being here and it just reminded me of the numerous amount of times that I had to come looking for Allie. </p><p>A girl in the front stopped me, "Sorry, can't go back there. Paying customers only, what can I interest you in?"</p><p>"Get Marie out here now."</p><p>"Marie isn't available."</p><p>"That wasn't a request. Tell Winter to get her ass out here before I start tearing her place apart."</p><p>The girl seemed to take my threats seriously and went to the back. She came moments later with Marie following behind her, "Why am I not surprised? Hello Karen, it's been a long time."</p><p>"What the fuck did I tell you Winter, you stay the fuck away from Allie."</p><p>"When are you going to stop treating Allie like a child and start letting her make her own decisions? You're always dictating her actions."</p><p>"That's rich coming from you. I'm over you questioning my authority and continually harassing her and Bea. It ends today, I mean it."</p><p>"Oh yeah, what are you going to do Kaz? You're all talk, you don't have the balls to do anything so why don't you just go? Or if you're interested there are some lovely girls I could point you to, unless you're looking for someone a bit younger, I could help you with that too."</p><p>I saw red and ran towards her and felt my hands tighten around her throat. "I swear to God I will fucking end you. You ever come near Allie again I will rip your fucking throat out you sick psychotic bitch." She started clawing around my wrists trying to get some air but I kept tightening my grasp around her. I saw her struggle and then I let her go. She fell to the ground gasping for air. "Don't fuck with me Marie. If you ever come near Allie, Bea, or me again, I won't hesitate. I know things about you, and I will do everything in my power to ruin you. Go ahead and try to come after me, I have nothing to lose, you do. Just think about that."</p><p>I left and ran to my car. I turned it on and drove away, I was shaking. I had never done anything like that before, I had never attacked a woman. But I couldn't have her continually coming back to Allie's life to turn it upside down. I needed to protect her, like I always have. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I went with Bea to drop Debbie off at the shelter and I saw Will walking in. Bea honked and we said hello. Debbie got out and went inside. Will looked at me and looked at the time, "Aren't you supposed to be with Kaz?"</p><p>I gave him a confusing look, "No, not that I know of."</p><p>"She told me you two were meeting up."</p><p>"That can't be right. Plus last time I spoke to Kaz she thought I was working today, I switched shifts with someone so I got today off."</p><p>"Huh, maybe I misheard her then." Will said goodbye to us and went inside. </p><p>Bea looked over at me, "Do you think Kaz lied?"</p><p>"I don't know why she would, I mean she has nothing to hide."</p><p>"Unless she was doing something she didn't want Will to know about, like something for the baby."</p><p>"Yeah but she would have told me. Something isn't right."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I stopped at a local coffee shop and got a coffee for Will and a green juice for me. Something I wanted but not necessarily something the baby craved so I got a muffin too. I got to the shelter and stopped to talk to some of the girls, I dropped my things off at my office and went to Will's. I knocked and walked in to give him his coffee, "Here babe."</p><p>"Thanks." He kissed me. "How'd it go? With Allie?"</p><p>"Good yeah, we just caught up quickly."</p><p>"What'd you two talk about?"</p><p>"What we're wearing to the wedding and stuff like that. You know, boring girl stuff." </p><p>He nodded and took a sip of his coffee, "Really, that's interesting because when I saw Allie half an hour ago she didn't mention that. In fact, she didn't know you two were supposed to be meeting up so what's going on here Kaz?"</p><p>"Nothing, I just I went for a drive."</p><p>"So why lie?"</p><p>"I don't know, I just needed a minute and I didn't want to worry you or make you think something was wrong is all." I ran my hand through my hair and Will grabbed my hand and lifted the sleeves of my jacket. </p><p>"Kaz, what the hell happened?"</p><p>I removed my hand and pulled the sleeve down, "Nothing, I just scratched myself on accident."</p><p>"These are heavy scratches Kaz, like someone else did them. Kaz, did someone hurt you?"</p><p>I sat down and looked up at him, "No I, I just-I had to take care of something."</p><p>"That ended in you getting hurt. Let me see."</p><p>I rolled my eyes and took my jacket off. He lifted my hands and looked at them. "Kaz, who did this?"</p><p>"Will, please, it was my fault."</p><p>"How?"</p><p>"I went after Marie Winter."</p><p>"What do you mean you went after her?"</p><p>"I went to go talk to her, to tell her to stay away from Allie and she just went on and on. I mean that woman is the devil Will, and she started taunting me with the girls she has there offering them to me and then saying that she could offer me a kid if that was more my speed and I lost it."</p><p>"Kaz, what did you do."</p><p>"I choked her. She scratched me trying to get me to let go."</p><p>"Kaz, what were you thinking?"</p><p>"I wasn't."</p><p>"Kaz, you could have gotten hurt, the baby!"</p><p>"The baby is fine. I waited until I knew her bodyguard was gone and she didn't touch me."</p><p>"Kaz, you can't make decisions like that without talking to me first. You could have hurt yourself, I mean look at yourself, you did get hurt."</p><p>"Will, I know I just needed her to understand that I wasn't going to let this go. Allie means the world to me, she's like my child. I had to protect her."</p><p>Will sat down next to me and grabbed my hands, "I get it, I do. But babe, you're pregnant. You can't go after people like that. I know you're strong and tough and you don't want to ever rely on anyone else but I'm here. Let me do that for you, let me be strong and protect you and the bub."</p><p>"I'm sorry I lied, I am."</p><p>He pulled me to his so I was sitting on his lap, "No more lies."</p><p>"No more lies." </p><p>I kissed him and he rubbed his thumb over the scratches. "Let's fix these up huh." </p><p>He went to the bathroom and wet a towel and started to clean the scratches up. I looked at him while he was doing it, "I thought you would have flipped out."</p><p>"I know you can take care of yourself, you're smart and of course you planned to go after her when she was alone, but I still worry. Just be careful Kaz, keep me in the loop. Don't go off fighting justice without a sidekick."</p><p>"You offering?"</p><p>He smiled, "Maybe."</p><p>Allie POV </p><p>I was still worried as to why Kaz had lied to Will about being with me. If she needed me to cover for her she would have told me. Whatever it is she was doing she did it intending on me and him not finding out. Bea kept trying to tell me that it was probably nothing but this unsettling feeling wouldn't leave me. </p><p>Bea and I went to eat and walked around for a bit looking at things here or there. I made mental notes of stores I thought had cute things so Deb and I could go this week to pick out our dresses for the wedding. I promised her I would go with her and not buy anything without her. Bea pulled me out of my thoughts, "You alright?"</p><p>"Yeah, I'm just worried about Kaz."</p><p>"I'm sure she's fine. Will would have gotten to the bottom of it already, just relax babe."</p><p>"I know you're right I just can't help it."</p><p>We bought some stuff Bea had wanted for the house and it got closer to the time to pick Deb up. I told Bea I wanted to talk to Kaz and she told me she'd wait in the car for me and wait for Debbie. I got out and walked to Kaz's office, her door was open and she was reading something on her computer. I knocked and she looked up, "Hey bubba."</p><p>"Hey." I walked in and closed the door. </p><p>She sighed and looked at me, "I'm sorry I used you as an alibi, I thought you would be at work."</p><p>"That's not what's worrying me Kaz. Where did you go?"</p><p>"To sort some stuff out."</p><p>"What kind of stuff?"</p><p>"Allie, drop it." </p><p>"No. Tell me."</p><p>Her office phone rang and she quickly answered it. I noticed she had her wrists covered in band aids. She ended the call and looked at me, "What?"</p><p>"What happened to your hands?"</p><p>"Nothing, Allie please don't worry."</p><p>"Kaz, tell me."</p><p>She bit her lip and looked down, "Bubba please don't get mad."</p><p>"What did you do Kaz?" I tried searching for an answer in her eyes. "Marie."</p><p>She quickly nodded, "I was just going to talk to her but you know how upset she makes me and I just went off."</p><p>"Kaz! You can't do that, you're pregnant you have a baby you can't go being wonder woman."</p><p>"I wasn't okay! I just wanted to warn her to stay away from you and she just couldn't keep her mouth shut."</p><p>I sat down and rubbed my forehead. "Did she hurt you?"</p><p>"No, other than the scratches I'm fine."</p><p>"You know Marie always has someone hanging around, how'd you get to her?"</p><p>"I waited until her hench left."</p><p>"Kaz, please promise me you won't do anything like that again. You can't afford to do that anymore, you have a life growing inside of you."</p><p>"It was a one off I swear."</p><p>I got up and pulled her into a hug, "Idiot. Stop focusing on your principles and on me and start focusing on you."</p><p>"You're always going to be a priority to me Allie."</p><p>"I know, but you need to start making this baby a priority too. I know you might have been well covered today but you might not be so lucky next time." </p><p>"Will already gave me the lecture thank you very much."</p><p>"Good, listen to him and don't be a bloody idiot." </p><p>After leaving Kaz I went to the car, Debbie had already gotten in. Bea gave me a look and I nodded telling her everything was okay. We drove home and Deb ran to go shower, she had a date with Nat. </p><p>"What happened with Kaz?" Bea asked. </p><p>I looked at her, "She went rogue and decided to step in to defend both our honors."</p><p>"Meaning?"</p><p>"She went after Marie."</p><p>Bea looked shocked, "But the baby."</p><p>"I know, I told her that too. She said she and the baby were fine but she was able to get her point across with Marie."</p><p>"Is she alright?"</p><p>"Yeah she'll be fine. I guess she just got frustrated at all the trouble Marie was causing."</p><p>"She's braver than me."</p><p>I brought her close to me and I kissed her, "Don't sell yourself short babe. You went up against her too, in your own way. My heroes."</p><p>She laughed and kissed me. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I was looking at my calendar and saw that my next doctors appointment was coming up soon. I'd be 7 weeks soon and my doctor wanted me to come in to see how the progression of the baby was coming along. Will made sure to take the day off so he could come with me when it was time. </p><p>He knocked on my door, "Time to go."</p><p>He grabbed my bag and I followed him out. He walked me to my car and kissed me, "See you at your place."</p><p>"Okay, be careful."</p><p>"You too."</p><p>I got in and saw him drive off. I followed and he waited for me outside of my apartment complex. We went up and he started cooking when we got inside. I was sitting on the couch when my phone rang, it was an unknown number. "Hello?"</p><p>"Nothing to lose huh, seems like you're keen to keep this guy around. You two look adorable Karen. Would hate for something to happen to him."</p><p>I felt my jaw clench, "Careful Marie, that fake sweetness of yours seems to be fading from your voice."</p><p>Will turned around and told me to put it on speakerphone. I did and Marie spoke again, "Don't you ever come and threaten me again like you did today. That was a big mistake Karen. Back off."</p><p>"Leave Allie alone and I will be more than happy to never have to step foot in one of your places again."</p><p>"I'll think about it."</p><p>"I'm not playing games Marie, let's end this. Once and for all. Leave Allie alone, leave me alone."</p><p>"Or what, you'll come and attack me again?"</p><p>"Nuh, I'll do you one better. I may not be able to prove what it is you do and the things your force those girls to do, but I happen to know for a fact that that son of yours isn't all you say he is. The fish rots from the head Marie. I have plenty of proof on the things that he has done and involved himself in, I will use any and all of it to ensure he gets his ass sent to jail and believe me, I will make it happen. Don't try me." I hung up before letting her have the last word. </p><p>I felt my hands shake and Will grabbed them, "Are you alright?"</p><p>"Fuck, I hope so."</p><p>"Do you really have evidence to put her son in prison?"</p><p>"Not really, everything is circumstantial, but she doesn't know that. She'd die before letting anything happen to her son. Let's hope she doesn't call my bluff."</p><p>"Is he as bad as you made him out to be?"</p><p>"He isn't good. I've heard stories and none of it shines a good light on him. Marie knows her son isn't an angel."</p><p>Will nodded and brought me in to hug him. I got a text seconds later from the same unknown number, 'Deal.'</p>
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<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Giver</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I went to go pick up Franky and I's outfits for the wedding. We had them fixed so they'd fit us better and I told Franky I'd keep them at my place. Allie had the day off from work today and had picked up Deb after school to take her shopping so they could go looking for what they were going to be wearing. I picked up some things from the store to make dinner and got started on that when I got home. </p><p>I put Franky and I's suits away in a hall closet so Allie wouldn't go snooping. I poured myself a glass of wine as I cooked and I heard the door open. Allie and Debbie were chatting away. "Mom, look at the dress I got. Allie helped me pick it out." Deb pulled out the floral dress that went perfectly with her. </p><p>"It's beautiful sweetheart. You're going to look great. And when we do your hair with half an updo it's going to be perfect."</p><p>Debbie grinned and ran off to her room to put the dress away. I looked over at Allie, "What about you babe?"</p><p>Allie pulled out a dark blue dress. "What do ya think?"</p><p>"I think, you are going to be the most beautiful woman in that room."</p><p>"Aww Bea, you're making me blush." She came over to kiss me and took her dress to the bedroom. She came back to the kitchen and put her chin on my shoulder kissing my neck. "So, when do I get to see yours?"</p><p>"I told you, day of the wedding."</p><p>"Ugh Bea no fair, I showed you mine."</p><p>"Please tell me this is a clean conversation or else I'd rather take my dinner to my room." Debbie interrupted. </p><p>I laughed and turned around, "We're talking about outfits smartass."</p><p>Debbie stuck her tongue out and I lightly patted Allie's ass while getting plates ready to serve Allie and Deb. Allie came to help me and whispered in my ear, "I still want to see it."</p><p>I kissed her and smiled, "Nope." </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I got home from work a little later today and decided to pick up some take away instead of cooking. Gidge was supposed to be coming home late today too so better to have dinner ready. I picked up some Chinese and set the table with some plates. I got out a bottle of wine and poured two glasses. I heard Gidge's car beep and waited for her to come through the front door. </p><p>She opened the door but I could tell she wasn't in a good mood. </p><p>"Gidge?"</p><p>"Hiya baby." She took her shoes off and put her bag on the couch. She walked over to me and hugged me. I hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. </p><p>"What's wrong spunky?"</p><p>"Nothing, just a really long day that doesn't seem to want to end. Feels like it's been going on forever and I'm over it."</p><p>"I'm sorry Gidge, you wanna talk about it?"</p><p>She shook her head and kissed me, "Nope. I'm tired of talking."</p><p>I handed her her glass of wine and she kissed me. "Okay, no more talking. I got your favorite. Let's eat and just relax. I'll give you a back massage after, and then we can go to bed and I'll just hold ya."</p><p>"You're too good to me."</p><p>I kissed her and we sat down to eat. I told her about my day and made cracks here and there to get her to laugh which seemed to be working but she was still upset about something. I squeezed her hand and looked at her, "You sure you okay Gidge? Is there anything I can do?"</p><p>"No baby, you've done enough really. It's just-one of my patients, she overdosed."</p><p>"Fuck Gidge I'm sorry."</p><p>"Yeah, I am too. I just keep replaying things over and over again in my mind trying to figure out if she was showing signs of wanting to use again, what more I could have done. I should have seen it coming and because I didn't she's dead because I couldn't help her."</p><p>"Gidge it wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known."</p><p>"I just wish there was more I could have done. It just feels like a loss, like I failed at my job."</p><p>I moved my chair to sit near her and I grabbed her hands, "You didn't fail. I am sure that you did everything you could for her Gidge." Gidge gave me a sad smile and I moved to hug her, "I'm sorry spunky, you did everything you could. Don't you forget it."</p><p>She sighed into my arms, "I just feel really fucking frustrated. Vera tried telling me the same things you did and I know you're both right I just can't get her out of my head."</p><p>I kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry Bridget."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>"So are you sure you want to come?" I asked from my bathroom as I brushed my teeth. </p><p>Will walked to the bathroom, "Of course I'm coming are you kidding? I want to be there for my girl and our kid. We'll be able to see the ultrasound, I wouldn't miss that for the world." He kissed my cheek and put his arms around me. "I can't wait."</p><p>"Doc reckons we might even be able to hear the heartbeat. It's still early but she'll try."</p><p>Will grinned and kissed me. </p><p>"Will I'm still brushing my teeth."</p><p>"So. I love you." He kissed me again. </p><p>"Alright get off and let me finish." I playfully pushed him away. </p><p>He pulled me back to him and kissed me, "meanie."</p><p>"The appointment is on Friday morning at 10:30 alright?"</p><p>"I got it babe. Let's go to bed."</p><p>"I'll be right there." I went to go pee and panicked when I saw my underwear. There was blood, not a lot but I was spotting. I quickly wiped, with small spots of blood on the tissue and I got up to wash my hands. I looked in the mirror and tried to remain calm, if I went and told Will he would freak out but I couldn't wait until the morning. "Will."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>I walked into the bedroom and looked at him, "I need you to do something for me."</p><p>"Anything babe."</p><p>"I need you not to freak out because I'm already freaking out."</p><p>"What?" He stood up and walked over to me. </p><p>"Will, I'm spotting."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I'm spotting blood and it could be nothing but I can't wait until the morning to find out if something is wrong."</p><p>"Okay, okay we will go to the hospital. We'll go and they can page your OB and she'll show up."</p><p>I nodded and he changed into some clothes and I put my shoes on. "Will?" I looked at him and I tried not to get emotional, "What if-"</p><p>"Nope, no what ifs. We aren't going to do that okay? We're going to go to the hospital and they're going to tell us that nothing is wrong." He kissed me on the top of my head and we went to the car and he drove to the hospital. I was panicking inside, I didn't want to lose this baby. </p><p>Will grabbed my hand and squeezed it as he drove. We got to the hospital and we went to the front. I gave my name, insurance information, and all of that. They asked me a bunch of questions and told me to take a seat in the waiting area. </p><p>Will got frustrated and went to go talk to the woman at the desk, "Hey my pregnant girlfriend is bleeding she needs to see a doctor not wait in a waiting room. Page Dr. Stone and get her down here or get somebody who gives a damn."</p><p>Will sat down next to me and his leg was shaking. I put my hand on his knee and looked at him. "Will, it's okay."</p><p>He rubbed my arm and we waited until I was called. They took my into a room and said my OB was coming in. They told me to get undressed and to put on a hospital robe. I sat on the table like they told me to and Will stood next to me holding my hand. He kissed my hand and put a strand of my hair behind my ear, "Everything will be alright babe. And even with all this stress, you look beautiful."</p><p>I smiled and kissed him. "Will, I'm scared."</p><p>"I know."</p><p>There was knock on the door and my doctor came in, "I'm sorry for not getting here sooner Kaz are you alright?"</p><p>"Freaking out a bit, I'm sorry for dragging you out of bed."</p><p>"Nonsense, my patients come first. When did you first notice the spotting?"</p><p>"Today, almost an hour and a half ago."</p><p>"Okay, well, let's see what's going on. But I will remind you, spotting doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. it is very common and happens to a lot of women especially during their first trimester." </p><p>I nodded.</p><p>"Now, because you're at 7 weeks and you're spotting, I'm not going to do a regular ultrasound because it would be harder to see the baby and I think you've had enough panic for one day. I'm going to do a transvaginal ultrasound instead, it will make things a little easier to see at such an early stage but it's going to be a bit uncomfortable I'm afraid."</p><p>Will spoke up, "Is it going to hurt her or the baby?"</p><p>"No, it won't hurt the baby. Kaz, you'll experience some discomfort but it won't hurt."</p><p>I nodded but I started to feel nervous. Will seemed to sense it and grabbed my hand. He made me look at him and caressed my cheek. He kissed my forehead and when my doctor got everything ready she looked at me, "Ready?"</p><p>I nodded again, unable to get any words out of my mouth. I had to sign a form giving my consent and then I laid down with my legs open. She inserted the wand and it was pretty uncomfortable. It wasn't painful but it wasn't a situation I wanted to be in. Will kissed my forehead again and I was praying for this to be over soon. </p><p>It seemed as if she was looking around for hours when it was probably only a couple of minutes, she seemed to chuckle and I looked at her. "There it is." She moved the screen so Will and I could see and there was the smallest bump on the screen. </p><p>"It's so small." I said. </p><p>Dr. Stone nodded, "You're still too early on so all we see for now is the embryo. As you finish your first trimester and get to 18-20 weeks you'll get a clearer picture. But, for now, that little sac is your baby."</p><p>"Is everything okay, the baby?" Will asked. </p><p>"Well, let's make sure. Kaz, do me a favor, and hold your breath." </p><p>I was confused but I did what she told me to do and she pressed something on the screen and we started to hear a rhythm. "There's your baby's heartbeat."</p><p>I let go of the breath I was holding and I broke out in a smile, "Oh my God. Will, do you hear it?"</p><p>"Yeah, yeah babe I do." He kissed me and we looked at the screen.</p><p>"So hopefully the eases your nerves a bit. Baby looks good for its size, good strong heartbeat. The bleeding is normal, like I said, happens more often than not unfortunately."</p><p>"Thank you really, for all of this. I feel silly for making such a big deal." I said getting up.</p><p>"Nonsense, stress isn't good for the baby. It's better to be safe than sorry." She printed out a picture of the ultrasound, "And just know, your baby is healthy and strong." She handed it to me and I looked at the picture again. </p><p>"Okay, I'm going to give you homework that I expect you to follow. Number one, don't panic if spotting still continues, wear a pad, no tampons or penetration. If bleeding gets heavier, please call me, don't hesitate. I'm putting you on bed rest until I see you again on Friday."</p><p>I groaned.</p><p>"It's 2 days Kaz, it won't kill you."</p><p>"It might."</p><p>She laughed, "Stay well hydrated, don't spend too much time on your feet try to keep them elevated for the most part. No heavy lifting."</p><p>"This sounds like a punishment for something."</p><p>"Small price to pay Kaz. If you have any questions, call me, other than that you are free to go. I'll see you Friday."</p><p>Will shook her hand and thanked her for everything telling her I was going to follow through. After she left the room he came over to hug me and he buried his head on my shoulder. I put my hand on the back of his head and pulled him to kiss me. "You okay?"</p><p>"I'm so relieved."</p><p>"Me too. Thank you for everything."</p><p>"You were stronger than I was. Let's go home." </p><p>I changed quickly and we walked to the car. When we got home I immediately went to bed and he followed. He held me while we looked at the picture, "Looks like a peanut." He said smiling.</p><p>"Little bigger than that don't you reckon."</p><p>"Maybe, but that's what I'm going to start calling the baby, my peanut."</p><p>"You're such a softie."</p><p>"Shhh don't tell anyone." He kissed the top of my head. </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Will had called me late last night, or really early this morning, I don't remember which. I heard my phone ringing and was surprised to see his name as the caller ID. I think I remember mumbling something in confusion and then him explaining that he needed me to come over in the morning to spend the day with Kaz. He said something had happened and they thought they were going to lose the baby but everything was alright now. </p><p>I didn't have work today so I told Bea what happened when Will called me. She said she'd drive me to Kaz's so she could stop and say hi. After we dropped Debbie off we went to Kaz's place, Will let us in. </p><p>When Bea and I walked in Kaz looked over at Will, "Oh come on, I don't need babysitters."</p><p>"I need to make sure you're following the doctors orders, you'll listen to them." He hugged Bea and I and thanked us for coming. He kissed Kaz goodbye and whispered something in her ear that made her laugh. </p><p>"How are you doing mama?" I asked as I went over to hug her. </p><p>"I'm okay bubba, just a bit of a scare."</p><p>Bea came to sit near Kaz, "Are you feeling better?"</p><p>"Much. God, I can't even begin to explain what it felt like when I saw the blood. But now I'm on bedrest."</p><p>"The rest will do you a lot of good. Stress isn't good for babies."</p><p>"I know, but I'm going to lose my mind if I have to spend all day in here doing nothing, which is why I'm presuming Will called you two in the first place."</p><p>"Just Allie, she's got the day off. I just came by to see how you were doing but I should get going. I'll see you guys later." Bea patted Kaz's arm and kissed me before leaving. </p><p>"Well, Will called the perfect person because I love laying around doing nothing. It's one of my specialties and you're going to learn to love it too."</p><p>Kaz rolled her eyes and groaned. </p><p>Franky POV </p><p>Gidge was still sleeping by the time I got up. I didn't want to wake her, she looked so peaceful. I know she was tired and stressed and I think some more time in bed would do her some good. I decided to fix her up a quick breakfast so she'd eat something before heading off to work. </p><p>She got up moments later and I had my arms open when I saw her standing in the kitchen. She came over to me and I hugged her tightly, "Morning spunky."</p><p>"I don't want to go to work today."</p><p>"Then let's play hooky, I'll skip too."</p><p>She smiled, "Nice thought but I know I'll hate myself if I don't go and try to help people in some way." </p><p>"Okay, but if you feel like taking off early you should. You should rest."</p><p>She nodded and went to go shower. I know she was going to be okay but she was taking this hard. The patient that overdosed was someone she's worked with since her practice opened. Gidge kept telling me that she should have done something more, noticed her patient was struggling. I did my best to try to talk to her and say things that she would say to someone if they were in her position. </p><p>I offered to drive her to work and to pick her up whenever she was ready to go home. </p><p>"I think you just want an excuse to drive the car." She joked back.</p><p>"You know me so well." I kissed her as she got out of the car. I watched her go inside and I saw Vera walking in. "Bennett!"</p><p>She turned around and saw me and walked over to the car, "Franky."</p><p>"Hey uh, could you do me a favor and watch Gidge. If you think she's had enough for the day could you call me and I'll pick her up."</p><p>Vera nodded, "I will."</p><p>"Cheers."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I got to work around the same time Franky did, she showed up with the Porsche. "Can't believe Bridget let you take it, you're going to wreck it, poor car."</p><p>"Piss off, I'm a great driver."</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"Heya Red, what's something romantic but like more of a nice gesture than really romantic?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Gidge had a bad day yesterday and I want to make her feel better but I didn't want to do something stupid cheesy." </p><p>"Don't let anyone tell you you don't have a way with words Franky."</p><p>"Fuck off, you gonna help me or not."</p><p>"I don't think I have a choice. Look, you are awful at buying things so there would be no point in giving you a list unless it had to do with food. I'll go to the store and I'll be right back."</p><p>"You're a God send, I love you Red."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah. You owe me."</p><p>"Anything you want, you got it babes." </p><p>I grabbed my keys and went to a store nearby and grabbed a bunch of things. I texted Will while I was at the store and told him I was dropping something off at the shelter. I gave him a bag and told him to give it to Kaz.</p><p>I got to the restaurant and got a basket ready with a bunch of stuff. I called Franky up and she walked in and saw the basket on my desk, "Holy shit Red, this is great."</p><p>"It's kind of like a care package with all of Bridget's favorite things or things she'd like. There's a mug, candle, incense, lotion, a little plant, a journal, a blanket, and some snacks."</p><p>"You are a bloody legend, I love you."</p><p>"Great, now take that energy to your fiancee."</p><p>Franky hugged me and grabbed the basket, "Vera just texted saying she thinks Gidge needs a break. You're the best. I owe you, really."</p><p>"Yeah yeah, now go. I'll be here."</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>It's not that I couldn't work, I saw two patients already but I just felt this weight on me. I felt like I failed, not matter how much Franky and Vera had tried to tell me that it wasn't my fault I felt blame. I had worked with her for years and she relapsed out of nowhere. I get it, if it was Vera in my position, I know the things I would tell her but it didn't make me feel any better. </p><p>Losing my patient that I'm supposed to be helping and looking out for felt like more than just a professional loss, it was a personal one. I felt like part of me died with her which sounds insane but it made me realize how much I'm invested in all these patients, how much they mean to me. </p><p>Vera knocked on my door, "You should go home, you look like shit."</p><p>"Such a charmer."</p><p>"Go home."</p><p>"I can't I have patients."</p><p>"No you don't. Not today at least. I cancelled your appointments."</p><p>"Vera!"</p><p>"Bridget, you need a day off, maybe even more. It's a loss, I know it and so do you. You aren't immune to feelings just because you're a psychologist. Get out of here."</p><p>"Franky has my car."</p><p>"I know, and Franky is also outside."</p><p>I looked at her in shock, "Are you two transpiring behind my back."</p><p>"If you weren't so stubborn we wouldn't have to. Get out of here."</p><p>"Ugh." I got up and grabbed my things. I silently thanked her and left the clinic. I saw Franky outside waiting for me. </p><p>"Hey Gidge."</p><p>"Hey baby."</p><p>"You didn't call me."</p><p>"I didn't need to, turns out you and Vera are bffs."</p><p>"What, you jealous."</p><p>"Definitely."</p><p>"Get in Gidge."</p><p>We drove home and I walked into the house. Franky followed minutes after with a basket in her hands. "For my soon to be bride." She put it on the kitchen counter and I looked through it.</p><p>"Franky, you didn't have to do this."</p><p>"I can't take all the credit. I might have helped making sure you got the right snacks and your favorite scents but this was all Red. She's a lot more thoughtful than I am."</p><p>I kissed her, "You are always thoughtful, and I appreciate it. Thank Bea for me."</p><p>"Feel the blanket Gidge, it feels fucking amazing."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>Allie wouldn't let me lift a single finger and it was irritating. I think she was doing it just to annoy me. God forbid I decide to pick up my glass of water without her permission. "Okay now you're just taking the piss."</p><p>"Nuh uh, doctors orders."</p><p>"I would kick you out but I was told no heavy lifting."</p><p>"Ouch, my feelings, my heart."</p><p>I laughed and pushed her away as she tried to come hug and kiss me. "Piss off."</p><p>Will came in as she was planting a kiss on my cheek. "Did I make a mistake?"</p><p>"Yes, take her away." I begged. </p><p>Allie laughed, "You're no fun. Well now that you're back, Bea's around the corner so time to go. Bye mama, bye bub, by Will."</p><p>"Bye, thank you." He came over to kiss me and kissed my stomach. "How are things?"</p><p>"Good. Allie made sure I followed doctors orders." </p><p>"Good, now time for your reward." He pulled out chocolate from a bag he was holding. </p><p>"I love you." </p><p>"And courtesy of Bea Smith," He pulled out a stuffed elephant.</p><p>"It's adorable. Thank her for me please."</p><p>"Of course. Now how is my beautiful girlfriend and my peanut?"</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I waited for Allie to get in the car and she smiled when she saw me. "Hi babe."</p><p>"Hey, how was Kaz?"</p><p>"Good, I'm pretty sure I drove her insane."</p><p>"So does that mean you won't be bothering me today since you bothered her instead?"</p><p>"Ouch, why is everyone hurting my feelings today?"</p><p>I brought her in for a kiss, "I'm sorry baby. But I'm in a very giving mood today so I have a surprise for you that will make you feel better."</p><p>Allie raised an eyebrow, "Oh yeah, like what?"</p><p>"You'll have to wait until tonight."</p><p>"No fair, you can't tease me like that. Can I at least get a hint?"</p><p>I looked over at her, "There's a bag in the back seat."</p><p>Allie grinned, grabbed it and opened it.</p><p>"Maybe, just maybe, tonight, I'll wear that tonight when we go to bed." </p><p>Allie pulled out the lingerie in the bag and her jaw dropped. "Bea Smith, I love you more and more everyday you know that." When we were at a red light she pulled me in for a steamy kiss that I'm sure the car next to us noticed. </p><p>"Behave, not until tonight."</p><p>"I can't wait."</p>
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<a name="section0047"><h2>47. All I Want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>I woke up with this feeling of desire pulling at me. I thought I was dreaming but I could feel myself being touched in a way a dream could never fulfill. I opened my eyes and saw that Allie had decided to give me one hell of a morning wake up call. She had removed my pajama pants and underwear. I was trying to focus but couldn't keep my eyes open, Allie was licking around my clit. I moved to remove my undershirt and she moved her hands to fondle my breasts. I was so wet, I had no idea how long she had been doing that but I didn't want to ask and risk her stopping. </p><p>I moved my hand to intertwine my fingers in her hair. I moaned silently as she inserted two fingers inside of me. Her tongue was working wonders and I felt my hips rising and pushing towards her. She started going faster and I gripped the sheets on the side of the bed trying to restrain myself from crying out. I moaned Allie's name and could tell she was grinning. "Fuck, Allie."</p><p>Allie held my hips down as I desperately tried to move them. I was so close and right as I was about to cum she removed her mouth from my clit and kissed up my body. I groaned and opened my eyes looking at her. She had this mischievous smile on her face and continued to kiss up my stomach and started swirling her tongue around my nipples. "Allie, please, you can't just leave me like that."</p><p>She came up to kiss me deeply, "I'm not leaving you babe. Just want to make the most of it."</p><p>"Allie, I need to cum. I was so close."</p><p>She kissed up my neck and sucked on my earlobe. "I know you were, and I'll let you cum babe I promise. I just love seeing you beg."</p><p>"I hate you. I'm getting you back for this."</p><p>"Oh, I look forward to it." She winked at me and spent more time on my breasts, sucking, nipping, biting. I bit my lip trying to contain the sounds coming from my mouth. It was early and I didn't want to wake Deb. </p><p>She slowly moved back down and started working me up again which didn't take long. She finally had her mouth where I needed it and there had better be a finish this time. Once she started going, she did not disappoint. I could feel it coming and I needed something to shut me up before I screamed. Allie seemed to hear my whimpering getting louder and put the two fingers she had inside of me, in my mouth. I sucked on her fingers tasting myself and letting her completely take me over the edge. </p><p>I moaned louder than I would have liked but at this point I didn't care. I arched my back and Allie let me ride out my orgasm. She kissed up my body once more and I pulled her into a kiss. "Morning babe," she smiled. </p><p>"Good morning." I tugged at her bottom lip and flipped us over pinning her wrists above her head, "I meant what I said Novak, I'm getting you back for this later."</p><p>She grinned, "Oh I can't wait."</p><p>I kissed her and whispered in her ear, "Good, because you're going to be doing more than begging with me." I kissed her roughly and got up to go shower. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>"Gidget! Breakfast is ready!" Franky yelled down the hall.</p><p>I came out of the bathroom trying to put my earring on. "Thank you baby." I kissed her quickly and sat down to eat. </p><p>"Busy day today Gidge?"</p><p>"Not really, I have some things to file and then I have two sessions today, one of them is with Kaz."</p><p>"That's great, her and Will seem real happy with the grommet huh?"</p><p>"Yeah, I think so. And from what everyone says Will has always wanted kids and Kaz silently did too so it all worked out." I was taking a sip of my coffee. </p><p>She looked over at me, "Do you?"</p><p>"Do I what?"</p><p>"Want kids?"</p><p>"I've never really thought of it."</p><p>She gave me a look like she could tell I was lying. </p><p>I rolled my eyes, "Okay fine I have thought of it but it never seemed like an issue for me. I only slept with men when I was younger and once I figured out that that wasn't what I wanted, I didn't have to worry about falling pregnant. Which worked out fine for me, I don't hate kids I just don't think I'd be good at all of that."</p><p>"I think you would."</p><p>I looked at Franky again and tried to figure out what the real reason was behind this questioning, "Baby, do you want kids?"</p><p>She shrugged, "I don't know. This isn't about me I was asking about you."</p><p>"Okay, but now I'm asking about you, do you want kids?" I put my hand over hers</p><p>"Nuh, I'm good. I should get going I'm running late anyway." She got her jacket and kissed my cheek.</p><p>"Franky." I called out.</p><p>"See you tonight Gidget."</p><p>I groaned, "Ugh for fucks sake."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie kept trying to get me to tell her what I had planned for her but I wouldn't. I wanted her to wonder. "Bea please tell me."</p><p>I kissed her nose, "No. You were very mean to me this morning, so now, you're going to pay for it."</p><p>"Am I going to enjoy it?"</p><p>"Maybe, maybe not as much as I am."</p><p>Allie laughed and went downstairs to work. Franky had gotten to work a little after I had and seemed to be lingering around to wanting to ask something. I looked over at her from my desk, "What?" She pointed at herself and I rolled my eyes, "Yes you, you're the only one here aren't you?"</p><p>"Alright alright, calm down." She came over and sat in one of the chairs across from me. </p><p>"So? What, you having pre wedding jitters, want to change your mind?"</p><p>"No way. I love Gidge, nothing would ever change that. I just-I'm curious, did you always want to have kids?"</p><p>I sighed, "I'm not sure. Debbie wasn't exactly planned, and I did want a family just maybe in a different way than what I got. If I could have done things differently I would have wanted to wait until I was a bit older but if I had done that I would have never had Deb. She's the reason I'm alive today, kids change your life. I couldn't have survived all of that with Harry on my own. She gave me a reason to get up in the morning. I think kids are terrific, and if it's something you want, you should do everything you can to make that happen. Because nothing is better than being able to hold your kids in your arms and watching them grow up."</p><p>Franky nodded. "Sure, I guess."</p><p>"Franky, if you wanted kids I think Bridget would want to do that with you."</p><p>"I don't know, this morning she said she didn't like kids."</p><p>I gave Franky a weird look, "Really?" </p><p>"No, but she basically said she didn't want them."</p><p>I kept that same look on my face.</p><p>"Okay she didn't say that either but you know what I mean."</p><p>I snorted, "Listen, Franky if you want kids one day you just can't assume Bridget doesn't based on what one conversation?"</p><p>Franky nodded. </p><p>"You guys need to talk about it, it's a big decision. Plus, you've never talked about wanting kids."</p><p>"I never said I didn't want them."</p><p>"Neither has Bridget."</p><p>"I know, I think I may have overreacted."</p><p>"You? Overreacted? Never." I answered back sarcastically. </p><p>"Alright fuck off, I get it."</p><p>"Bridget is a saint to have to deal with you."</p><p>"Don't worry Red, I make it up to her." Franky winked at me and I laughed. </p><p>Bridget POV</p><p>Franky and I's conversation kept running through my head. I don't think she was mad but she wasn't happy with my response. I liked kids, I did. And I know it broke my parents heart that I would never give them grandkids but I wasn't like my mother. I wasn't loving and motherly, I didn't know how to look after a child, how to be maternal. I never thought Franky would one day want kids which was stupid, of course she would. She's younger and still has a whole life to live. I knew why having kids with Franky scared me and it wasn't something I was ready to face.</p><p>I looked at the time and walked out into the waiting room. "Kaz, G'day."</p><p>Kaz smiled when she saw me and she followed me to my office. </p><p>She sat down and I poured her some tea. It had been a couple of weeks since she had the miscarriage scare and she seemed to be doing better. "So, how are you feeling today?"</p><p>"Good, really good. Will and I are moving into the house soon, baby is doing well, shelter is thriving. I couldn't be happier."</p><p>"That's great Kaz." We spent a lot of the session talking about preparing for the house and the baby. Kaz was really happy, there was a light and freshness about her that really showed her growth from our first sessions where she seemed so tied down by her past. She was living the life she wanted and had nothing holding her back. </p><p>"What about you huh, wedding day coming up almost a week from now."</p><p>I smiled, "It's good yeah. The closer it gets the more things I feel like I have to worry about."</p><p>"But just think about the payoff. Great honeymoon and you two will be officially hitched." Kaz seemed to catch what she said, "What are you doing to me Bridget, now I'm an optimistic person, of all people."</p><p>I laughed and walked her out. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Allie and I got home and she started looking through the fridge for something to eat. I put my hands on her hips and kissed her neck. "Food can wait until later, time for your punishment."</p><p>"Yes ma'am." Allie grinned. </p><p>"Now Debbie is on a date with Nat and won't be home for another couple of hours. Which means you are all mine. Bedroom, let's go." I grabbed her hand and led her to the bed. I told her to get undressed and I started to do the same, at a slower pace. She never removed her eyes from me which gave me an idea. I kissed her softly, "Stay here, don't move." I went to one of the drawers in the room and pulled out a satin scarf. I showed it to her and she nodded. I tied it around her eyes so she couldn't see. I pushed her back onto the bed and kissed her again. Her hands started to travel down my back to squeeze my ass. I slapped her hand away and pinned her hands above her head like I did this morning. I tugged at her ear, "I said don't move."</p><p>I kissed down her stomach and looked up at her, I watched her bite her lip. I kissed up her body and roughly kissed her, "Those are the rules, no moving. I get to do whatever I want to you and you aren't allowed to look or touch. Got it?"</p><p>Allie groaned, "Bea, that's not fair."</p><p>"Sorry baby, those are the rules." I kissed her again. "So, do you think you can take it?"</p><p>Allie nodded. </p><p>"Good, now just enjoy." I let my hands roam around Allie's body, I unhooked her bra and kissed all around her chest. I latched my mouth onto her nipple and heard her moan. I pushed my leg into her core and could feel how wet she was. I kissed down her stomach and started to bring her underwear down her legs. </p><p>"Bea..."</p><p>I slid my hand up her leg and made room to spread her legs. "You're so wet baby."</p><p>"Bea please."</p><p>"Please what?"</p><p>"Touch me please."</p><p>I placed wet kisses up her legs leaving love bites on her inner thighs. I was about to start touching her when Allie moved her hand to touch the hand I had placed on her breast. I moved up and pinned her hands back on top. "What did I say?"</p><p>"Bea, I need to touch you or at least see you." </p><p>I kissed her and moved her leg. I slid my fingers inside of her and saw her throw her head back. "Rules Allie, no touching and no looking. If you keep disobeying me, I'm going to stop."</p><p>"No! Don't, please, I'll do anything." </p><p>"Good. Now let me work." I moved my fingers in and out. I moved down and teased her clit with my tongue. </p><p>"God, Bea."</p><p>I dragged my tongue through her folds and dipped my tongue, circling her entrance. I knew Allie was struggling but she was right, hearing her beg was quite the turn on. I was well situated between her legs and kept my face pressed against her cunt. She was close, I could feel it. </p><p>"More, Bea-I'm so close."</p><p>I circled her clit with my thumb and never stopped my movements. Her legs started to shake and she let go. She screamed out my name  and I continued to suck on her clit until I pulled away. I licked the remaining juices off my fingers. Allie was trying to catch her breath and I removed the blindfold. </p><p>She smiled when she saw me and pulled me into a kiss. She then looked at me, "Oh no, did I break the rules?"</p><p>"I'll make an exception, but we aren't done her babe."</p><p>She raised her eyebrow, "Okay, but no more blindfold and please let me touch you. This is torture Bea. But, I will say, that was one hell of an orgasm."</p><p>I smiled and kissed her again, "When one of the senses is taken away, the other ones are heightened."</p><p>"Damn right."</p><p>"Now, I'm getting the strap." I kissed her and got up. </p><p>I saw the excitement form in Allie's eyes. </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I was waiting for Franky to get home and I was fidgeting. I wanted to pour myself a drink but I was trying to prove a point so that would be bloody useless if I had a drink in my hand. I heard her car pull up and waited for her to come through the door. She smiled when she saw me and came over to kiss me, "What's for dinner Gidge? You wanna order in?"</p><p>She was acting totally nonchalant as if nothing had happened this morning. "Franky, we should talk."</p><p>"Gidge, it's nothing really okay? We can talk about this some other time."</p><p>"No, we can't. Baby, we can't push this off. You mentioned it because it meant something to you right? Which means it is something you want one day."</p><p>Franky shrugged her shoulders pretending not to care. "It is what it is."</p><p>"No it isn't. You have to understand-listen to me please. I just never saw it, having kids, having a family like that."</p><p>"Like ever or just with me?" Franky asked and I tried to work out how to say it. </p><p>I must have taken too long with my response because she took the latter to be my answer. </p><p>"Right well there it is. I get it, you can't see a life with me it's fine."</p><p>I shook my head, "Franky no that's not it."</p><p>"That sounds like what you're saying so I don't know what else there is to discuss. Gidge listen, I don't care okay let's just get some food and go to bed."</p><p>"Franky you aren't listening to me, it isn't you, it's me. I'm the fucked up on in the scenario. It's not that I can't see you being a mother, I think you would be a great parent, it's me. I just never thought you'd want to have kids with someone like me."</p><p>Franky looked at me, "What, why?"</p><p>"Franky come on. I'm older than you so that kind of strikes my chance of actually having a baby. I don't think I have that mothering gene in my body. I don't know if I can be that for a child. I've only ever cared about my career and what if we have a baby and I'm not a good mother? You'll realize what a mistake it was to be with me and you'll hate me for it because you are so kind and caring that you'll love being a mom right away. What if I can't make that attachment? Not to mention the stress that comes along with it and we all know what happens when I get stressed." I ran my hands through my hair and moved away from the space I was in. </p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>I looked at Franky with a sad smile. It took a long time but Franky finally told me what her childhood was like and the things her mother did to her. The abuse along with the drugs and drinking, it scarred Franky. "Franky I drink, a lot. I know it, everyone does, you've even mentioned it when I have too much. What if-" I bit my tongue "I can't be responsible for or bring a child into this world knowing there is a chance I could be a bad parent. I won't do it, Franky I can't." I hadn't even realized I had gotten emotional until I felt tears running down my face. </p><p>Franky pulled me into a hug and I tried to push her away, "Franky stop just-"</p><p>She kissed me and held me tighter, "Gidge, please look at me. I have never ever looked at you like you could be like her. You are nothing like her. Please believe me, you could never be a horrible mom. You are the most caring person I know, no one compares to you Gidget. I love you and sure I'd like to have a kid of my own but if you don't then we don't have to have them."</p><p>"I want you to be happy Franky."</p><p>"I'm happy with you spunky." She wiped my tears. </p><p>"Franky, do you want to have a baby?"</p><p>"I never thought about it until our date started getting closer. I want them with you, but it's okay if-"</p><p>I shut her up with a kiss, "After."</p><p>"After what?"</p><p>"After the wedding, after the honeymoon, we'll talk and make plans."</p><p>Franky wrapped her arms around me and kissed me, "I'm gonna have a grommet, maybe it'll be just as good looking and charismatic as me."</p><p>"Oh lord help me." </p><p>Allie POV </p><p>Bea had gotten up to make dinner and I walked over to wrap my arms around her. I had my robe on and felt completely at bliss. Bea had definitely fulfilled and let me have it. My legs were killing me from the soreness because of the way Bea had them bent while she laid into me with the strap. But I wasn't complaining, it was a good pain. "So do I get treated like this every time I wake you up like I did this morning?"</p><p>Bea turned around and wrapped her arms around me, "Maybe."</p><p>"Maybe I should thank you for what you did for me." I kissed her and started to move my hands under her shirt. </p><p>We heard noises at the door and Bea laughed while pushing me away. I kissed her neck quickly and moved so it wasn't so obvious to what we had been doing. Debbie came in with the biggest smile on her face, "Nat asked me to be his girlfriend!"</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Wedding Bliss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>It was the day before Franky and Bridget's wedding and I had never seen her more nervous. Because Bridget wanted to stick to tradition it was decided that they would spend the night apart in order to keep the suspense alive which was slowly killing Franky. Bridget was going to spend the night at Vera's and Franky was going to stay with me because she claimed she couldn't be alone in the house without her. I had taken the day off of work to make sure everything would carry out perfectly for tomorrow. There was so much to do in so much little time. I went to the salon to get my hair redyed to my trademark red. </p><p>Maxine and I spent the hours talking about the wedding, Allie, work, some guy she started seeing, and Deb's boyfriend. Time had flown when she finally finished. I looked in the mirror and smiled at the familiarity. "You are a goddess."</p><p>"I learned from the best, always took me forever to get the colors right. You had such a skill for it." </p><p>"I'll see you tomorrow yeah."</p><p>"Yes you will."</p><p>I grabbed my things and drove home, Allie was going to be here any minute. We were having the rehearsal dinner at the restaurant, Franky's choice, to make things easier instead of all of us heading to the venue. We just needed to go over things one last time before the big day and we'd be all ready to go. I put on a dress I had in the closet and did my makeup quickly. I heard the door open and chatter coming in from the front of the house. </p><p>Debbie yelled out, "Mom, we're home!"</p><p>"Good, now go get ready. Franky will kill me if we're late!" I yelled back while meeting them in the living room. </p><p>"Okay, okay I'm going."</p><p>Allie pulled me into a kiss and I slowly pushed her away, "No, go get ready."</p><p>"Babe, I'm basically good to go. Plus, I really missed the red and I think I need to show you just how much." She kissed me again and I pushed her away. </p><p>"You are ruining my lipstick and making us late. You can show me later." I pointed to the bedroom, "go."</p><p>"Ugh, you're no fun." She pouted and went to go change. I laughed and went to the restroom to fix my lipstick. After what felt like forever, they were both ready and I drove all of us to the restaurant. Debbie ran out to go find Boomer and Franky and Allie and I walked hand in hand inside. Franky hugged Deb when she saw her and looked over at me, "About bloody time."</p><p>"I'm not even that late."</p><p>"I need my best man Red, hair looks good."</p><p>"Maxine, she said she's sorry she couldn't make it tonight but tomorrow she's all yours."</p><p>"Better fucking be. She still seeing that new bloke?"</p><p>I nodded, "She really likes him."</p><p>Bridget came over and Allie and I said hi. I greeted her parents and I spent some time talking to Doreen. When we all sat down to eat, we all talked about what to expect for tomorrow; times everyone should be there, how things should play out, things like that. Allie had her hand on my leg and kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful babe."</p><p>I kissed her quickly, "you do too."</p><p>Allie looked over at Franky and Bridget, "they look so happy."</p><p>"They deserve it."</p><p>Allie kissed my cheek again and squeezed my leg. After dinner, a bunch of drinks and lots of cracks and jokes being made to one another, it was getting late and time to go. Everyone started leaving after some time had passed and Bridget and Franky were saying their goodbyes. They looked like two love sick puppies saying goodbye to each other. Vera looked over at me hoping that I would intervene so they could start heading out, I nodded her way, "Okay you two, it is only one night. After that you have a wedding and days of beautiful sun and beaches to look forward to. So say your final goodbyes now come on."</p><p>Franky groaned and pulled Bridget into another kiss, "I'll see you tomorrow Gidge."</p><p>"See you baby, just a couple of hours."</p><p>"I love you Gidge."</p><p>"I love you too." Bridget kissed Franky and her and Vera were off. </p><p>Franky looked over at me and I hugged her, "Come on, it's one night. You'll have her every day for the rest of your life after that."</p><p>"I miss her."</p><p>"Jesus, no wonder she calls you a baby."</p><p>Franky smacked me, "She calls me baby not a baby."</p><p>"Yeah like there's a difference."</p><p>I drove all of us home. Debbie offered to let Franky stay in her room and she could crash with me and Allie. Debbie knocked off early while Allie, Franky and I had a drink. </p><p>"You nervous?" Allie asked.</p><p>"I'm shitting bricks. I'm so afraid that she's going to change her mind."</p><p>"As if that would ever happen." I put my hand on top of Franky's. "She loves you."</p><p>"She's going to look so beautiful tomorrow. She always looks beautiful but I just know."</p><p>Franky called it a night and went to Deb's room. I went to go wash the cups we used and I felt arms around me. Allie kissed my neck and moved her hands up and down my sides. "Beautiful, gorgeous, absolutely stunning."</p><p>I dried my hands and turned around to kiss her, "I love you too."</p><p>She whispered in my ear, "I'm really really horny."</p><p>"So am I, but, we can't. Deb's in our room and Franky isn't drunk enough, she'll hear us."</p><p>Allie groaned, "I really need you."</p><p>"Tomorrow, after the wedding, I am all yours." I pulled her into a deep kiss, "And after you see what I'm wearing, you'll be even hornier. Come on, let's go to bed."</p><p>Allie kissed me, the moved to kiss my nose. "Tease."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>I woke up Saturday morning with my heart pumping, and filled with nervousness. Today was the day, my big day, my wedding day. I got up and went to the restroom. I showered and and put on some fresh clothes. I looked myself in the mirror and tried to contain the smile on my face. I couldn't explain this feeling, but it felt right.</p><p>I left the restroom and saw Red standing in the kitchen. She looked over at me, "Morning. You ready?"</p><p>"You have no idea."</p><p>She put a cup of coffee on the table and I went over to take a sip. Breakfast is almost ready. Now because Bridget wants to keep some things traditional, no talking to the bride, phone." She put her hand out.</p><p>"No way."</p><p>"Give it."</p><p>"I won't text her."</p><p>"Liar, give it."</p><p>I handed it over to her reluctantly. "What if I get a call about the restaurant."</p><p>"They already know all calls should be directed to me. If I see a single person calling you from there, they're dead."</p><p>"But I should be able to call Gidge, come on Red, one phone call."</p><p>Red made a face and pulled out her phone and dialed a number, "Hey she's asking for Bridget....Yeah okay, had a feeling. I'm handing it over now." She handed me her phone, "Apparently Bridget is just as bad as you are, she can't even follow her own rules."</p><p>I grinned and grabbed the phone and walked towards the living room, "Hey spunky."</p><p>"Hi baby, you alright?"</p><p>"I miss you Gidge."</p><p>"Couple of hours."</p><p>"I can't wait to see you in your dress."</p><p>"I can't wait to be your wife."</p><p>"This feels unreal."</p><p>"This is real baby, it's happening."</p><p>"I should get off, Red's giving me the eye."</p><p>"Well, tell Bea that I make the rules so I can break them."</p><p>"Good, I love you."</p><p>"See you soon."</p><p>I hung up and handed the phone back, "Gidge said-"</p><p>Red put her hand up, "Vera already told me. Look, they're going to be busy at the salon with Maxine, keeping you separate. So are you still fine with me doing your hair and makeup?"</p><p>I nodded, "course. You doing Allie's and Deb's too?"</p><p>Red nodded, "Just the hair. Allie is doing hers and Deb's makeup. I'm going to go shower. You eat and just relax. Everything will be okay." She kissed the top of my head and went to the bathroom. </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>Everyone ate and we started to get ready. It'd be easier to get ready at home then get to the venue rather than taking everything with us. Franky's hair wasn't difficult, she just wanted it straightened and some of the ends cut off. I put Allie's hair in an updo and Deb's in a half updo. She had all kinds of pictures on how she wanted her hair to look. Allie had started Deb's makeup, I made sure to remind her not to put too much. I had finished Franky's makeup and mine. I kept my hair curly and just styled it so it wouldn't be in my face all day. </p><p>Everyone started to get dresses as I put some things away. Franky came out in her suit, "You look good." She grinned and looked at the herself in the full-length mirror. I fixed her hair a bit, "Can't believe you're getting married, all grown up."</p><p>"Yeah yeah, now go get dressed. We have to leave soon."</p><p>"I'm going." I went into the bedroom.</p><p>Allie was putting on her heels. "Hi babe." She kissed me and I looked at her. </p><p>"You look beautiful. Dress looks amazing on you, really makes your eyes pop."</p><p>"Thank you. So, do I finally get to see yours?"</p><p>"Yes, but I need to put it on first." I pointed at the door telling her to leave. </p><p>"Aw no fair, come on."</p><p>"I'll call you in after I've changed, go."</p><p>"Fine." She grudgingly left while giving me her puppy dog eyes. </p><p>I laughed and got dressed. Even though I had decided to not wear a shirt underneath the blazer, I had bought a black laced up front to wear under. More for Allie than anything else. Once I put everything on I called Allie into the bedroom. She walked in and shut the door immediately while locking it, "Holy mother of God."</p><p>She pulled me into a kiss and I moaned in her mouth once I felt her hand pressing up on my breast. "You're killing me here Bea."</p><p>I pulled her into another kiss and I slightly opened my blazer. She looked down and looked back up at me, "Fuck me."</p><p>"I'd rather if you'd fuck me instead." I grinned. </p><p>She kept kissing me and moved her hand to unzip my pants. I pushed her hands away, "Allie, later. We have a wedding to go to."</p><p>"I just need 5 minutes."</p><p>"Franky will kill us both."</p><p>"It would be worth it. Please Bea." </p><p>I kissed her a little harder and pulled away, "Tonight, after. I promise, I'll be all yours. You can do anything you want to me."</p><p>She raised an eyebrow, "Anything?"</p><p>I nodded, "anything. Let's go." I fixed my hair, makeup, and outfit. We called out for Deb who looked beautiful in her dress.</p><p>Franky grinned when she saw me.  "You're welcome Novak."</p><p>"What do you mean?" Allie asked.</p><p>"I told Red to pick that outfit, I knew you'd be all over her. I don't blame ya, oi Red, I never did get a bachelor party, wanna give me a lap dance?" She winked at me. </p><p>"You are so lucky it's your wedding day, or else I would have murdered you already."</p><p>"Okay, let's go. Girls, behave. We have a wedding to go to." I tried changing the conversation because I could feel Allie's jealousy radiating, which made me kind of excited. </p><p>Bridget POV</p><p>Vera, my mom and I had gotten up early to get to Maxine's salon. She did our hair and makeup with the help of another one of the women who worked there. I couldn't stop the nerves that I felt. They weren't bad, it was good. I couldn't believe the day had come. I was looking at my ring just letting all the moments that Franky and I have had pass me. She made me happy, happier than I had ever been before. She knew me inside and out and never judged me, even in times that I thought she would. She was this ball of fire that I could never imagine I could keep up with, but she kept me on my toes that's for sure. </p><p>Vera put her hand on my shoulder, "Time to get dressed and get you married."</p><p>I nodded, "Did you talk to Bea?"</p><p>"Mmhmm, she's got it all handled."</p><p>"Good. Then let's go."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>We got to the venue and Franky was upstairs looking at the view. Everything was set up to be a beautiful outdoor wedding. It was small but just what they wanted. Bridget would be here soon and then we could start. Franky kept letting her thoughts escape her on the ride over asking what if Bridget changed her mind, what if she decided not to get married, stupid thoughts. We did our best to calm her by telling her that her thoughts were nonsense. </p><p>Vera texted me that they 15 minutes away. I went upstairs to find Franky, "You still have doubts?"</p><p>"Why, what happened? She called it off didn't she?"</p><p>"Jesus, relax. She'll be here soon. You need to breathe. You want a drink?"</p><p>"Nah, I want to live this moment all in real time."</p><p>"Okay, I'll come get you once it's time."</p><p>Franky nodded and smiled. I went down to make sure everything was going smoothly and when I felt someone staring at me. I turned to see Allie looking over at me. She winked at me and I smiled at her, I mouthed 'I love you.' </p><p>Maxine walked in and I waved over at her, "You look beautiful."</p><p>"Thanks Bea, you do too. Love the outfit."</p><p>"How's Bridget?"</p><p>"She was pretty nervous this morning, but just those pre-wedding jitters that every bride gets. I've seen it a million times."</p><p>"Franky is the same way. But she's got it in that thick head of hers that Bridget would back out. She won't let that thought leave her until she sees Bridget walking down that aisle." </p><p>"That will be any minute now."</p><p>I got a text minutes later from Vera. We snuck Bridget in one of the rooms on the other side. I looked over at her, "You look so beautiful Bridget. Franky is one lucky girl."</p><p>"I'm the lucky one." She grabbed my hand. "Thank you."</p><p>"For what?"</p><p>"For introducing us, for pushing me to be with her. You are the link that brought her and me together."</p><p>"You two are meant to be together, you would have found each other one way or another. Now, let's get you married huh."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>My hands were sweating, I would wipe them on my pants but I didn't want to get them dirty so I grabbed a napkin. Allie went to tell me that Gidge was here already which meant, we were halfway there. Wasn't long before Red came up to get me, "Show time."</p><p>I went downstairs to where everything was set up. I stood up at the front with Red standing next to me. I looked over at everyone there and realized Gidge was right, I already had a family. Will gave me a thumbs up, Maxine was smiling at me, Boomer was sitting next to Liz and Dors with Nash and Joshua. Allie was sitting with Deb. Allie was looking at Red with love. </p><p>Gidge's mom had the biggest smiles on their faces. The minister asked if I was ready. I nodded and seconds later Vera came walking down. I felt my hands starting to shake and Red put her hand on my shoulder. I let go of a shaking breath and then I saw her. Nothing else in that moment mattered, not my nerves, not the people, just her. I didn't know jack about dresses or anything like that but she looked stunning. Her dad was walking her down the aisle and all I could think of was how lucky I was to be the one on the other side, to be the one marrying her. </p><p>I cleared my throat as she got closer, I felt like I was finally getting all the things I had ever wanted. The smile on her face matched mine, I could feel the glimmer in my eyes. Her dad walked her to me and kissed her on the cheek. He shook my hand and I looked over at Gidge. She smiled at me and I smiled back at her, "You look beautiful."</p><p>"You don't look too bad yourself."</p><p>I looked over at the minister, "I do."</p><p>Bea laughed next to me and the minister looked at me, "One step at a time Franky."</p><p>"Sorry." I apologized. "But, before we start." I reached over and pulled Gidge in a kiss. I felt her smile into the kiss and she sheepishly looked down after we separated. "I couldn't go another minute without doing that first."</p><p>The minister smiled, "Let's start shall we?"</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>Franky looked beautiful. I never had any doubts that she was the woman I was meant to marry. Seeing her waiting for me on the other side, affirmed it all. I wanted Franky, forever and always. I wanted to be her wife, I wanted a family with her, no matter how that looked. I wanted it all. I knew I never wanted to spend another day or night without her. She was my life and my happiness. </p><p>When she pulled me into the kiss I couldn't help but smile at her excitement and mine. As the ceremony went, we held hands the entire time. When we were told it was time for the rings, Franky turned to Bea and she pulled out what would be my wedding band. She slipped it on my ring finger, as she repeated the marriage vows. I smiled at her, and then it was my turn. I looked at Bea and she nodded. She put two rings in my hand. </p><p>I looked at Franky, "I always thought that you should have had an engagement ring too, and I know you don't like anything big or flash but..." I showed her a diamond band ring that went along with her wedding band. Franky smiled and I put the rings on her finger repeating after the minister. </p><p>After we finished saying the I do's which made my mom cry, the minister looked over at Franky and me. "By the power vested in me by the state of Victoria, I now pronounce you wife and wife. Now you two can kiss."</p><p>Franky didn't need to be told twice and she pulled me into a kiss. I heard clapping but was too caught up in the moment. "We did it baby."</p><p>Bea POV </p><p>The ceremony was beautiful. Of course Franky couldn't have waited to kiss Bridget. They looked happy, they deserved it all and more. I know Franky was holding back tears, not that well because she let one or two fall but it was sweet. Bridget and Franky took a moment to go take pictures with the photographer and I went over to Allie and Deb. </p><p>"They're so cute." Deb said. </p><p>"Yeah they are."</p><p>Debbie looked at me with a bit of a mischievous look on her face, "Could I have champagne?"</p><p>"No."</p><p>"Mom."</p><p>"Absolutely not."</p><p>"Please. It's a wedding."</p><p>"Okay you can have some, at yours. Get out of here."</p><p>Debbie groaned and she went to go find Boomer. I know she was going to try to get Boomer to give her some which Boomer would try to do and I'd bust them later. Allie pulled me into her and kissed me. "You look beautiful babe."</p><p>"You do too."</p><p>"And I can't wait to get you out of this later."</p><p>I kissed her and saw Debbie with Boomer. Boomer and I made eye contact and I gave her a look making sure she knew not to follow with Debbie's idea. I could hear her telling Deb that she should ask me first, to which Deb groaned. </p><p>Kaz and Will came over to us and we all spoke for a bit before watching Bridget and Franky coming back. We clapped for them and Franky thanked everyone for coming. Everyone was talking and eating, music was being played and Boomer was trying to get Liz to dance. Franky put her arm around me, "Why didn't you tell me Gidge was getting me a ring?"</p><p>"It was a surprise. I went with her to go look at rings and she asked me to hold it for today."</p><p>"You two just doing things behind my back."</p><p>"We're the worst, now go enjoy yourself. You'll need to get on a plane in a couple of hours."</p><p>"I can't wait." Franky grinned. </p><p>The day seemed to pass in a flash and it was almost time for them to go. Everything worked out as planned and Franky and Bridget looked so happy. Toasts were going around and I stopped the waitress who was passing around glasses of champagne. I grabbed one and handed it to Deb, "just one."</p><p>She smiled and nodded, "you're the best."</p><p>"Yeah yeah." </p><p>Allie laughed and kissed me quickly. Once everyone who wanted to speak did, Franky and Bridget said their goodbyes. They had a car waiting for them to take them to the airport and needed to go. I kissed and hugged them both, "Be careful, have fun, and don't worry about anything other than enjoying yourselves. We'll see you guys soon."</p><p>"Thanks Red." </p><p>The night ended and people started to go home. Vera, Allie, and I were helping the staff of the venue clean up. Once we finished we said goodbye and I called Deb over who was sitting in a chair. She got up and I laughed watching how tired she was, "let me guess, not feeling so crash hot."</p><p>"My head hurts."</p><p>"Oh did I forget to mention champagne does that?"</p><p>Debbie made a face at me and got in the car. Allie drove us back home and Deb went straight to bed. I doubt one glass would give her a hangover, all she needed was to sleep the headache off. I went to the bedroom to get undressed when I felt Allie's hands on me. "What do you think you're doing?"</p><p>"Getting undressed."</p><p>"Nope. You promised, you're all mine." She slowly took off my blazer and ran her hands up my arms. She kissed my shoulder, "and you said I could do anything I wanted to you."</p><p>"Did I?"</p><p>"Mmhmm, and I plan on doing just that. Take your pants off, only your pants. Keep the top, underwear and heels on."</p><p>"Allie-"</p><p>She shut me up with a kiss, "anything I want."</p><p>I took my pants off and stepped out of them. I kept my heels on and she lightly pushed me towards the bed. We moved until I was at the top of the bed and she kissed me. Her hand went up and down my leg. She kissed in between my breasts and looked up at me, "do you trust me?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>She got up and pulled out the satin scarf I had used on her not too long ago to blindfold her. </p><p>"What is it you told me? When one sense it taken away, the other ones are heightened?" She came over to me and kissed me again. "But, blindfolding you would be too easy babe. Truth be told, that's not one of the senses I want to take away. You and me are pretty similar when it comes to touching, you can't keep your hands to yourself." She grabbed both of my hands and pinned them above my head. She was going to tie my wrists together so I couldn't touch her, I felt the wetness pool into my panties and my mouth go dry. She kissed me roughly and looked at me, "are you okay with this? We don't have to do it if you aren't."</p><p>I pulled her into another kiss and then put my hands back on top of my head, "do it."</p><p>She put her hands on top of mine as she lowered herself on top of me, kissing me. She wrapped the satin scarf around my hands, binding them together, it was tight but bearable. She kissed the top of my breasts, using her hands to press up on me. She put her lips near mine and I tried to move my head up to kiss her but she pulled back before I could. She smiled and I moved my leg to press into her back, bringing her closer to me, "Stop teasing."</p><p>She moved her hand up my leg, "What did I say about touching."</p><p>"You binded my hands, not my legs."</p><p>"I guess next time, I'll have to do that too."</p><p>"You wouldn't dare."</p><p>Allie laughed and finally kissed me, putting her tongue in my mouth. I melted in her touch and gasped when she roughly ripped my top off. She did the same with my bra and pushed them up towards my hands. I couldn't move them out of the way because my hands were tied. Allie laughed, "Maybe I should have taken this off first."</p><p>I laughed and she kissed me. She put her hand on my right breast and kissed it, starting to suck on my nipple. I moaned feeling her mouth and her tongue. She spent so much time teasing me with her mouth and her fingers playing with the outside of my underwear, I felt like I was losing my mind. "Allie, please touch me, please."</p><p>Allie kissed me put her hands on my hips. She slowly slid my panties down and I kicked them off. "Eager?" She asked with a smirk on her face. She used her fingers to circle my clit, slowly. It felt so good, she put her mouth on my neck and sucked on my pulse point. She kissed my neck, nipping my ear and whispering, "You looked amazing today." She moved her finger up and down my slit, feeling how wet I was. She put two of her fingers inside of me, "Beautiful, so fucking sexy."</p><p>I tightened my leg around her waist, craving more contact. "I need to feel you Allie."</p><p>She slowly moved her fingers out. I groaned at the loss of contact and saw her get up to remove her dress. I bit my lip as I saw her step out of her matching bra and underwear set. I wanted nothing more than to be able to touch her and got frustrated when I realized I couldn't. Allie grinned and got back on top of me, kissing me immediately, "I know you're struggling babe, but it won't be long now." She grinded herself on top of me and I threw my head back while I moved my leg back on her back, pulling her close to me. I felt her, all of her and wanted more. She put her fingers back inside of me and kissed me again. </p><p>She moved them in and out as she nibbled my ear, taking moments to tell me everything she loved about me, how turned on she was when she saw me in my outfit. My breathing picked up and I knew I was getting close. Allie must have sensed it too because she told me to wait, "Not yet."</p><p>"Allie-please, I need to."</p><p>"Hold on." She kissed down my body and placed her mouth on top of my clit, kissing and sucking. I tried to suppress my moans by biting my bottom lip. I was stretching my arms up wanting nothing more than to finally feel some release. "Allie fuck-please."</p><p>She added a third finger and I started to feel my legs buck. I felt it coming and I couldn't stop it. I came hard and Allie kept going, it's like she had no plans on stopping. Before I knew it, I felt my second orgasm coming over me and tightened the grip of my legs around Allie's head, cuming for the second time. She slowly came up, kissing up my body, kissing me on the lips. "Good?"</p><p>"Amazing." I moved my head up to kiss her. </p><p>She untied the scarf from my wrists and I was finally able to wrap my arms around her. They were a bit sore but it was a good pain. I brought my hand up to caress her face. She smiled at me and kissed the palm of my hand. She looked at my wrist and looked back at me, "fuck babe, I'm sorry." There was a bit of a mark. </p><p>"Baby it's fine. I wanted it, I liked it. Plus, I did say anything you wanted."</p><p>She kissed me and I pushed her on her back so I was on top. I kicked my heels off, "Now it's my turn."</p><p>Franky POV </p><p>We landed in the Bahamas a couple of hours ago and we quickly found ourselves drinking more champagne and tangled in each other. Our bodies touching each other, skin to skin. Gidge was my wife, I was hers, and I couldn't be happier. Our hands were intertwined and I kissed her, "I still can't believe it."</p><p>"Neither can I. But, in a good way."</p><p>"Do you think if Red had introduced us sooner, we would have gotten together sooner? Married sooner?"</p><p>Gidge thought about it, "maybe. But I'd like to think that everything happens for a reason, so we didn't meet before because, we weren't supposed to. We met the way we did because we were always meant to."</p><p>I pulled her into a kiss and kissed down her neck. "The love of my life, my wife."</p><p>She moved my head to pull me into another kiss, "I am so lucky to have you. I love you baby."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Love and Happiness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bridget POV </p>
<p>I slowly started to wake up to the sound of waves crashing in the distance. I opened my eyes to Franky fast asleep, holding me. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. I thought about the last 24 hours and how just the morning before I was just someone's girlfriend, now I was someone's wife. Franky and I were intertwined in each other and I just couldn't believe this was all real. She was the biggest blessing in my life and I couldn't be happier. </p>
<p>I kissed Franky's cheek and got out of bed. I put on a robe and walked out to the balcony, there was the most amazing view of the ocean I had ever seen, it was breath taking. Within moments those arms that I had detangled myself from were wrapping themselves around my waist. I smiled and let my head fall back onto her shoulder. Franky tightened her arms around me and kissed my neck. "Morning spunky."</p>
<p>"Morning baby." </p>
<p>"Why'd you leave Gidge?"</p>
<p>"The view, it's amazing."</p>
<p>"Yeah it is." She turned me around so she could kiss me properly. </p>
<p>I pulled her closer to me as we continued to kiss, I looked up at her, "I am so in love with you."</p>
<p>"Right back at ya my beautiful wife."</p>
<p>I grinned and kissed her again, "I'm starving."</p>
<p>"I'm not surprised, we had quite the workout last night." Franky winked at me. </p>
<p>I playfully slapped her shoulder and she took my hand and we went back inside. </p>
<p>"So Gidge, you wanna order room service or go find a restaurant to go eat at?"</p>
<p>"Mmm, how about we order in for now, the time difference is still messing with my head. It feels like the morning and it's almost dark out."</p>
<p>"Sure spunky. I get it, the time difference is fucking with me too." </p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>Bea had gone to the restaurant this morning to see how things were coming along. She was confident in the staff and had no reasons to worry but just wanted to check in just in case. I had taken Deb to the shelter, who complained about the champagne she drank last night. </p>
<p>I stopped to say hi to Kaz and Will and made my way back home. I picked up a bit from the mess we had made yesterday trying to get ready and did a load of laundry. I wanted to help out around the house because I knew Bea was going to be working longer hours because Franky would be gone. </p>
<p>Franky and Bridget were coming back in a week's time. Plans for our family vacation were still being made. Debbie had an idea on where we should go and I had loved the idea when she mentioned it. It was still going to be a bit of a surprise for Bea. We weren't going to be going on vacation for another month and a half but Deb and I had already started meeting with a traveling agent and planning the outline of the trip. </p>
<p>I did my best to make the place look spotless and decided to try to cook something simple, I was no chef but I could make a thing or two. It started to get closer to the time that Debbie was getting out of the shelter. I was grabbing my bag when the door opened and Bea walked in. I went over to kiss her, "Hiya babe."</p>
<p>"Hey beautiful girl, where are you off to?"</p>
<p>"Got to go pick up Deb, unless you want to finally let someone take her off out hands."</p>
<p>Bea lightly shoved me, "Yeah right, plus they'd bring her back."</p>
<p>I laughed, "How was your day?"</p>
<p>"Good. Things are running as they should. Place looks nice."</p>
<p>"Eh, just picked up a bit. Made dinner, chicken and rice, the only thing I can make that comes out decent. Now I'm off, I'll be back."</p>
<p>"Thank you babe. I'm going to shower." She kissed me on the lips and I left the house and drove to the shelter. </p>
<p>Franky POV</p>
<p>Gidge and I ordered room service and sat at the table on the balcony. We had this amazing view of the beach from our room, I was dying to go swimming but it was late and getting dark. Gidge had promised we would go in the morning and teased me with some of the bathing suits she had brought with her. I had picked a bunch of things off the menu just so we could try different things, I was trying the cracked conch. I took a piece and moved it to Gidge's mouth and she opened and bit it, "I like it."</p>
<p>I leaned in and kissed her afterwards, "So do I."</p>
<p>Gidge smiled and came over to sit on my lap. She brought her lips to mine and moaned when I moved my hand to squeeze her ass. I brought her closer to me as she slightly grinded against me, "Come have a shower with me."</p>
<p>I didn't have to be told twice, I followed her to the bathroom while removing my clothing on the way there. She turned the water on while removing the little clothing she had left. As she moved so she was under the water, she grabbed my hand so I was under the water with her. I pushed her up against the wall starting to rub my hands all over her. Hearing her moaning always drove me crazy. She kissed me and before I knew it, I was the one being pushed up against the wall. She kissed me deeply and used her hand to circle my clit, I let my head fall back as she attacked my neck. I felt her kiss down my body and started to feel the heat rush up to my face. Watching her on her knees in front of me, having her take control has always turned me on. </p>
<p>She licked at my center and I bit my lip. I felt her stop and she looked up at me, "I wanna hear you baby, I wanna hear you when I make you cum." I nodded frantically so she could go back to eating me out, when I felt her tongue back where I wanted it and her fingers moving quickly I didn't hold back. I didn't care if the entire hotel heard me, it was too good to hold in. I was coming before I knew it and I had the biggest smile on my face when she came back up to kiss me on my lips. </p>
<p>"I fucking love you."</p>
<p>She kissed me again, "And I fucking love you too."</p>
<p>After she gave me a mind blowing orgasm and I returned the favor, we got out of the shower and we both dried off. Gidge put on a silk robe and was putting lotion on her legs. I grabbed the lotion from her hands and spread it on mine, I started to spread the lotion on her legs and feet, massaging them. I looked over at her while she gave me a look I couldn't quite read. "What?" I asked. </p>
<p>"I was about to ask you the same thing."</p>
<p>"What I can't give my wife a massage?"</p>
<p>"Oh you absolutely can, but there's something you're hiding."</p>
<p>"Don't know what you're talking about."</p>
<p>"I know you baby, what is it?"</p>
<p>I bit my inner cheek and looked at her, "Would it be okay if I told you my vows right now?"</p>
<p>Gidge looked surprised, "I didn't know you wrote any."</p>
<p>I shrugged, "I wanted to tell ya but in private, not in front of everyone. Some of the stuff was personal."</p>
<p>Gidge nodded and I went to go grab the paper from my carry on. I sat on the bed across from her and she put her hand on my thigh. I unfolded the paper and looked at her, I took a deep breath, "I'm nervous."</p>
<p>She laughed and kissed me, "Take your time."</p>
<p>"Okay," I took another deep breath and started to read what I had written down a couple of days before our wedding, "Bridget, I don't think I can ever really put into words everything you mean to me but I'll try by saying I am the luckiest woman in the entire world because you picked me. I never thought I could end up with anyone long term, too much baggage and crap I had going on, never though anyone would want to hang around for it. When I first met you, you took my breath away, I knew I needed to have you. When you played hard to get I knew this was more than just a quick root, this was going to be someone that would make an impression on my life that no one else possibly could. It still blows my mind how you had been single and how lucky I got when you said yes every time I asked you for something, to go on a date, to be my girl, to move in, to be my wife. There are so many people out there that you could have been better off with and sometimes I worry that you'll realize that. Although, I hope you never do because I selfishly want you to be with me forever. You're too good for me, I think I realized you weren't like everyone else the first time I threw a temper tantrum in front of you. You stayed cool and calm when other people usually freak out or walk away. You stayed there for me and have been there for me in a way no one else has. You came into my life and pulled the walls I had down, you made me feel like I was worthy of love and I put all my trust in you. When you started to trust me in the same way by telling me something really personal I knew in that moment that I wanted to be that someone you could come to no matter what would happen. All these moments of happiness you have given me, the passion, the love, you've given me everything. When I see you smile, you light up my day, the way you listen, the way you make it feel like time flies just because I'm in your presence. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to be able to repay everything you do for me, the way you make me feel because of the love you have for me. I love you Bridget Westfall, with everything I have and want to do everything in my power to give back the love you have given me." </p>
<p>I looked over at her and she had tears in her eyes. She pulled me into a kiss and intertwined her hand into mine, "Goddamn it Franky, you always know how to get me. I love you, I love you so much."</p>
<p>I pulled her into another kiss, "I was afraid it was too cheesy."</p>
<p>"No, it was perfect. I loved it. I love you. You have no idea how much you have changed my life for the better, baby I am so in love with you. All I want is for you to be happy, really happy."</p>
<p>"I am, I'm here with you." I pulled her towards me and she kissed me deeply. </p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>After Allie had brought Deb back from the shelter, we all sat together to eat and talked about our days. At some point the trip got brought back up again to which I had to ask, "So where is it exactly we're going?"</p>
<p>"It's a surprise." Debbie replied. </p>
<p>"I have to know come on."</p>
<p>"Sorry babe, you'll have to wait until everything gets finalized and then we'll tell you." Allie smiled.</p>
<p>I pouted and looked over at Debbie, "tell me."</p>
<p>She smiled, "nope."</p>
<p>"Oh come on, babe please?" I looked over at Allie.</p>
<p>Allie and Debbie gave each other a look and they got up to put their dishes in the sink. Allie grabbed my plate and placed a kiss on top of my head, "patience, we'll tell you once it's time."</p>
<p>Debbie grinned and went to her room. I heard the door close and got an idea. Allie was putting things away and I walked over to the kitchen, "can I at least get a hint?"</p>
<p>"Nope."</p>
<p>I came up from behind her and moved my hands to graze her leg, I nipped her ear and whispered, "not even a tiny one."</p>
<p>I heard Allie groan, "Bea, that's not fair."</p>
<p>I moved my hand to go up her shirt, feeling her stomach. I moved my leg to separate hers and pressed against her, "just one hint baby." I kissed up her neck and felt her start to lose control. She put her hands on top of mine failing to remove them. I pulled her into a kiss and moved my hand to unbutton her pants, "tell me."</p>
<p>"Bea-fuck. Debbie is in her room."</p>
<p>"And the sooner you tell me, the sooner we can move this to the bedroom. I know you Allie, you won't be able to hold off." I moved my hand down her pants and smiled, "You're so wet."</p>
<p>She turned around and pulled me into a kiss. I kissed her neck and pressed her against the counter. I played with the hem of her underwear and she stopped my hand from moving lower, "We can't. Remember what happened last time."</p>
<p>"If I remember correctly you were laughing when it happened, what? Not so funny now." I moved my hand down her panties. She was so wet, I slid a finger through her folds. "Come on baby, just say it. Once you do, I'll take you to the bedroom and blow your mind."</p>
<p>Allie bit her lip and I saw her eyes roll to the back of her head when I started to circle her clit roughly. "Fuck-Bea just please don't make me. Debbie will kill me."</p>
<p>I didn't stop my movements and I heard Allie inhale deeply. "Fuck okay okay, I'll tell you." </p>
<p>I removed my fingers and licked them clean. I saw Allie's eyes fill with arousal and she kissed me, "Debbie is going to murder me." She grabbed my hand and took me to the bedroom. "Can you at least act surprised when she tells you, she just really wanted this to be a nice gesture and she was so excited to tell you and-" I shut Allie up with a kiss and pushed her onto the bed. I removed her shirt and ripped her bra off. She seemed confused but didn't question my actions, she kicked her jeans off along with her panties. I didn't waste any time and put my mouth on her clit. I heard her moan, "Oh fuck." </p>
<p>I torturously ate her out enjoying each sound she made as I made her cum. When she let go I kissed up her body and kissed her deeply. "You taste amazing."</p>
<p>She kissed me again and I felt her start to undress me. She stopped when I was in my under garments, "wait, I didn't tell you where-"</p>
<p>I kissed her again, "I don't want to know."</p>
<p>"What?" She asked confusingly. </p>
<p>"I mean I did, but you tried so hard to keep it a secret and I want to keep it that way. Especially if Deb really wants to surprise me."</p>
<p>"You could have told me that instead of holding me against my will back there."</p>
<p>I raised my eyebrow, "I didn't hear any complaints, just lots of moaning and begging if I remember correctly."</p>
<p>She flipped us over and pinned my hands above my head, "Oh moaning and begging huh, careful babe. I might have to get you back for that little stunt."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello all, I know I'm getting awful at updating. School and work is just not it right now. So sorry for the short chapter but the next one will be longer and I need to mentally prepare myself for that one. I'll try to get it out as soon as I can.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Because of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p><p>This had been the busiest week of my life. I was spending most of my time at the restaurant and any time I wasn't there, I was helping Allie, Kaz and Will move into their new house. They had finished all the paperwork and started to move things in as soon as they could. Will had hired some people to take things from his place and Kaz's and take it to the house. Kaz and Allie would go to the store and pick out some new things here and there and I'd take Deb with me after work to help them unpack. </p><p>The days got closer to Franky and Bridget's return. When they finally did to come back they looked refreshed, happy, and completely in love. Franky went on and on about all the things they did, the amount of time they spent on the beach and all the great food. I was happy for the both of them and when Franky came back to work she did everything she could to insert jokes and hints about what else they did on their trip.</p><p>"Franky I do not need to hear about what you do to Bridget in private." I begged.</p><p>"Wasn't just in private Red, beaches were pretty empty."</p><p>I covered my ears, "Oh Franky cut it out."</p><p>Franky grinned, "So when are you guys leaving for your trip?"</p><p>"One month, still not sure where it is we're going but I was told they'd finally let me in on the secret sometime this week."</p><p>"That's great Red, it's probably going to be amazing. You deserve a break."</p><p>"Thanks Franky."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>The past couple of days had been stressful but a good kind of stressful. We had moved into the house and it was starting to come together. Will made it very clear that I wasn't allowed to carry anything heavy, but I could design and decorate it any way I wanted to. It was insane to think that I fell in love with him even more as each day passed. He was so caring, so kind, and he was so excited about the baby. He'd talk to the baby before we went to bed which I thought was cute. </p><p>I was showing a little bit more and was struggling to get dressed in the morning. I would just stare at my clothing in the closet not sure what to wear, and not wanting to go through the effort of wearing something that would tire me out. Will came up from behind me and kissed the top of my head, "It's time to go baby."</p><p>"I don't know what to wear."</p><p>He pulled some pants and an older shirt, "How about this."</p><p>I kissed him and grabbed the clothes from his hands. I got undressed in front of him, force of habit, and he came closer to me, putting his hands on my hips. He kissed me on the lips, "So beautiful."</p><p>"Yeah right."</p><p>"Hey, I mean it. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." He moved his lips to kiss my neck.</p><p>I moaned at the feeling of him nipping my neck, I kissed him and I got dressed quickly, "Okay, let's go."</p><p>He grabbed my hand and I followed him to the car, he opened the door for me and he drove us to the shelter. When we got out he kissed me as he went to his office and I went to mine. Before I got there one of the girls stopped me, "Hey Kaz someone is here to see you. It seemed important, I put her in your office. I hope you don't mind."</p><p>"I guess not, who is it?"</p><p>"Your mother."</p><p>The smile I had on my face faltered and I looked over at my office, the door was closed. I hadn't spoken to her in years. She had never tried to contact me and I had never reached out. Whatever it was, it had to do with him. I looked down at my clothing and saw the forming of my baby bump, I should have worn something else, or not have shown up to work today. I slowly walked over to my office and slowly opened the door before taking a deep breath. I walked in, she was holding the picture I had of me and Will when he had taken me to the Melbourne Star. I closed the door behind me and looked at her, not sure what to say other than get out. </p><p>She put the picture down and looked around at my office, "So, this is, uh where your women's lib palaver's got you, is it?"</p><p>"Really? Ten years, that's the first thing out of your mouth?"</p><p>She seemed slightly apologetic, "Oh, it was just...No, I'm sorry. It was...I'm a bit nervous."</p><p>She grabbed a handkerchief from her pocket and held it up to her face like she was feeling emotional, "spare me the act mum. Don't."</p><p>"Yeah, weakness of any kind. I'd forgotten how much that disgusts you."</p><p>"Self-pity disgusts me."</p><p>"You're a tough nut Karen. Do you know even when you were a kid you had a-hardness about you?"</p><p>I inwardly cringed at her using my real name, "Did I? You're so full of shit. What are you doing here?"</p><p>She sighed and looked at me, "Your father, he's not doing well. He has emphysema but it's starting to turn into pneumonia and the doctors don't think it looks good. He's trying to fight but he keeps holding on, Karen he wants to see you."</p><p>I stayed quiet, my posture my stance, nothing changed. </p><p>She looked back at me, "So you got nothing to say about that?"</p><p>"What do you want me to say? I don't want to see him, I could care less. That is unless he's planning on making a death bed confession."</p><p>My mother rolled her eyes, "Oh, Karen. Are you still holding onto that? It's been years, it's over."</p><p>"It's over!" I walked towards her. </p><p>"Look, you should try to make it, for him, for me."</p><p>"Why the fuck would I do anything for either of you two."</p><p>"Because he needs to rest, he needs to be able to go by saying goodbye to his daughter. And at least, getting to know he would have had a grandchild." She said motioning to my stomach. </p><p>"This is not his grandchild or yours."</p><p>"You owe me."</p><p>"I owe you?" I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth.</p><p>"Yes, you owe me. I sacrificed everything to keep our family together." She said through gritted teeth. </p><p>"The only reason I'd want to be there is to see him die. To watch him drown in his own spit!" I slammed my hands against my office desk. </p><p>The door opened and Will came in. "Is everything alright?"</p><p>I kept my eyes on her, "I'm done. Get out."</p><p>My mother grabbed her bag and walked past Will, she turned around for a moment, "He's at St. Vincent's. He doesn't have a lot of time left Karen. He needs this."</p><p>I felt my blood start to boil and my hands start to clench. I gritted my teeth and felt like kicking, throwing, punching anything. Will closed the door and came to stand in front of me, "Kaz what's going on talk to me."</p><p>I shook my head, "I can't be here, I need to go, I need to-"</p><p>"Okay hold on, where? Where do you need to go? What's going on? Who was that?"</p><p>I looked up at him, "My mother, she just came to tell me that he's dying and he wants to see me. I can't-I can't do that."</p><p>"Okay Kaz, calm down. Sit down, come here."</p><p>He made me sit down and put his hands on top of mine, "tell me what you need, how can I help you?"</p><p>I could feel the tears welling up, "I don't know. I don't-" I put my face in my hands and I could feel this panic rise. I looked over at him, "Can you drive me somewhere?"</p><p>"Anywhere, let's go." </p><p>I grabbed my things and we walked out of the shelter. He put his hand on top of mine and I told him where to take me. He understood immediately and we drove in silence. I knew I couldn't stress myself out because of the baby but it was really fucking hard. I hadn't even realized the car had stopped until Will put his hand on my shoulder, "babe, we're here."</p><p>I looked out the window and nodded, he ran to my side to open the door for me and walked me inside.  </p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>I was sitting in my office looking at some of the notes Vera had posted on the patients I had given her while I went away when I heard a knock on my door. My assistant opened it, "Bridget, someone is here to see you. Will Jackson and Kaz Proctor."</p><p>I nodded and got up. I was a bit confused, I didn't have a session with Kaz until the end of the week. I saw Will first and he walked over to me, "I'm sorry for barging in."</p><p>"What's going on?" I asked, I looked over and saw Kaz just sitting in a chair. It looked like she had seen a ghost. </p><p>"Kaz's mom came by. Kaz's dad's dying and he wants to see her, I think she's freaking out. She told me to drive here."</p><p>"You did the right thing. Go get yourself a cup of coffee or something, there's a great cafe the street over. Give us some time, I'll call you once she's ready."</p><p>He thanked me and went over to her. He grabbed her hands and whispered something in her ear and kissed her cheek. She nodded and looked up at me, "I'm sorry for this."</p><p>"Don't be, come on in." I led her to my office and motioned for her to sit down. "Did you want something, water, tea?"</p><p>"A tea would be great." She answered honestly. </p><p>I went ahead and made one for her and handed it to her, "How are you feeling right now?"</p><p>"Overwhelmed, like I can't believe it. I don't understand."</p><p>"Okay, let's unpack it. What is unbelievable to you, him dying?"</p><p>"Him asking to see me, I always thought that when it happened, I wouldn't find out about it until after he had passed. I don't get why he wants to see me, I don't-I can't see him." </p><p>"Why do you think he's asked for you?"</p><p>"Fuck if I know," she apologetically looked at me, "sorry."</p><p>I smiled, "Don't worry about it. What did it feel like, seeing your mother for the first time in so long?"</p><p>She sighed, "Not fun. Wasn't expecting it and just hated the entire interaction. She made it seem like she needed to defend him, she needed to cover up what he did because keeping the image of the 'perfect' family mattered more. She even had the audacity to tell me that I owed her, that I needed to show up for her."</p><p>I rolled my eyes, "Kaz, you don't owe your mother or your father anything. Your mother made some awful choices, that has nothing to do with you."</p><p>"She made it sound like he was holding out for me, which just makes me wonder why."</p><p>"What do you think it is?"</p><p>She shrugged, "Maybe he just wants to fuck with my head one last time."</p><p>I looked at her, "What do you wish it was?"</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"Do you wish he was asking to see you for a specific reason, rather than something malicious?"</p><p>She wiped a tear from her face, "I don't know, an explanation not just from him, from her too. I was their kid, you're supposed to protect your kids."</p><p>"You want an apology."</p><p>She quickly shook her head, "No. I don't."</p><p>"Why not? If he does want to see you for something related to what he did to you as a child, it could be because he wants your forgiveness."</p><p>"He doesn't fucking deserve it. He should go to the grave knowing I hate him, knowing I could never forgive him for that."</p><p>"Kaz, you need to go see him and forgive him."</p><p>She looked at me like I had lost my mind, "No fucking way. Why? So he can finally let go and Rest In Peace. Fuck that. I hope he holds on hoping I show up just for me never to. He doesn't deserve a peaceful ending, he deserves all the pain in the world."</p><p>"Kaz, the forgiveness isn't for him, it's for you."</p><p>"I don't get it."</p><p>I got up and bent down in front of her, I grabbed her hands, "Kaz this anger you have inside, which you have everyone tight to have, it will never go away if you don't forgive him. Will it give him so peace of mind, sure. But it's for you, not for him. The longer you hate him for this, the longer you don't forgive him, the longer he will have this power over you. I've learned that if anyone can change your mood or attitude in seconds it's because they have this power over you that you can't detach yourself from, not until you are able to forgive him and yourself. You grew up with this idea that you weren't allowed to be weak, that you had to be strong because you weren't strong when it started happening. That had nothing to do with you, it had to do with him. In order to move on, on this new journey of life with Will and the baby, you need a clean slate. Forgiving him takes that weight off of you in a way I can't describe, because you have to experience that for yourself." </p><p>"What if I can't?"</p><p>"No one is expecting you to rush into it, but it takes a lot of power, a lot of strength to be able to forgive the people that have done you wrong. It isn't about being the bigger person, it's about letting them know that the things they did no longer hold you back. They push you forward, because it made you stronger, and you are living and thriving."</p><p>"What if that anger I have, deep inside, never goes away?"</p><p>"It takes time, it won't happen with a snap of the fingers but it will happen. You'll know once it does. But believe me, if there is anything you take from these sessions with me, let this be the one thing. Forgive him, it's not for his eternal absolution, it's for your everlasting freedom." </p><p>Bea POV </p><p>I waited for Allie to get out of work and we discussed what I should make for dinner. Debbie was bringing Nate over after school so they could study and I made it clear that they'd have to be at the dining table where I could see them. No sneaky visits to her bedroom which she reminded me was uncool. When Allie and I got home, Deb introduced us to Nat who had really nice manners and seemed like a good kid. He called ms Mrs. Smith which I told him wasn't necessary, I preferred Bea. </p><p>I got started on dinner and took moments to watch how they were around each other. Deb seemed to really like him and he seemed like a sweet boy. Allie came to help me, or watch me cook while I did everything, "they look cute together."</p><p>I nodded in agreeance, "Yeah, they do."</p><p>"Oh babe, are you sad she's growing up?"</p><p>"No, I'm glad she is. I just worry all of the time."</p><p>Allie kissed my forehead, "Don't. She's okay, she's right here. Nothing bad will happen okay?"</p><p>"Okay." I kissed her and finished making dinner. I called out that it was ready. I offered Nat a plate if he wanted to stay but he said he had to go home. He thanked me for everything and Debbie walked him out. </p><p>Allie was peaking at the window and she called me over, "Bea, he kissed her."</p><p>I ran over and slightly peaked. "She's growing up so fast."</p><p>We finished setting up the table and Debbie came in. Allie started poking fun at her about the kiss. </p><p>"You guys are so lame." Debbie laughed. </p><p>"If I remember correctly, someone was watching us when we kissed on our first date." I answered back.</p><p>"That was different."</p><p>"Yeah right." </p><p>We all ate and at some point Deb and Allie seemed to decide that it was time to tell me where we were going on our trip. I looked over at Deb, "Okay, so where?"</p><p>"Well, I remember you telling me how much you missed going and you hadn't been since you were a teenager because dad didn't like trips or anything like that. And I think it would be cool to go visit somewhere that meant something to you. It isn't far but your parents are from there and you used to love it when they would take you."</p><p>"Oh Deb, really?"</p><p>She nodded excitingly. </p><p>Allie chimed in, "That's right babe, we're going to New Zealand."</p><p>I got up to hug Deb and thanked her, "You are the most beautiful and amazing daughter in the world. I am so lucky to have you, you're thoughtful and loving and I love you so much." I hugged her tightly and she hugged me too. I heard a click and turned around. </p><p>Allie had her phone out and taking a picture of us, "What? You guys looked cute."</p><p>We laughed and I kissed Deb on the top of her head, "I'm excited, I can't wait."</p><p>"Did you really like it, are you sure because we can go somewhere else."</p><p>"I love it, it shows me how much you listen and care. You're going to love it there Deb it is so beautiful."</p><p>"It's going to be great Mom." She kissed my cheek and helped Allie pick up the plates. </p><p>Allie came to kiss me, "See why I didn't want to tell you."</p><p>"You guys are full of surprises, you know that?"</p><p>She kissed me again and we all sat down to watch a movie together. I was sitting in between Deb and Allie and just couldn't believe how lucky I got to have the best daughter and girlfriend. </p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>After talking with Bridget I let what she said really settle in and I knew she was right, it's just, this fear I had of seeing him again, I wasn't sure I could go through with it. Will had driven me to the hospital but I couldn't get out of the car, it's like I couldn't move. He put his hand on top of mine, "You don't have to do this."</p><p>"No, but I need to. I'll never be free of him if I don't. I can't let him keep holding me back."</p><p>"Okay." He got out and opened the door for me. I got out of the car and he held my hand as we walked to the front desk. I rubbed my stomach, I was freaking out. Will was given a room number and we were both given visitor's passes. He held my hand as we walked to the elevator and squeezed it when we got to the designated floor. </p><p>As soon as I stepped off I felt cold all over, whether it was my nerves or the air conditioner I wasn't quite sure. It smelled like hospital and I could hear nurses and doctors talking. We got closer to his room and I made sure I kept my head high and I walked in. My mother was by his side, like always. She turned and seemed surprised to see me, she patted my father's hand, "She's here, look."</p><p>He lifted his head a bit to see me, he seemed relieved. "Karen." He lifted his mask to speak, I could hear the struggle in his voice, his breathing was heavy and labored. </p><p>I stepped forward but not enough for him to be able to reach him. "You asked to see me."</p><p>He nodded, "I needed to see you Karen I-" he seemed to notice the bump, "You're pregnant?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>"Oh Karen, that's wonderful. Sit down, let me see you." He coughed. </p><p>"No. This isn't a social visit. I shouldn't even be near you because of the baby. I don't want to be here, you asked me to show up so whatever the reason was for it, just say it now or I'll leave."</p><p>He sighed and started to have a coughing fit. I rolled my eyes as my mother rushed to help him put the mask back on. </p><p>"Are we done with the theatrics? This was a waste of time." I started to walk out when I heard him speak up.</p><p>"No, stay please. Just-" he looked over at my mom and Will, "May we have a moment alone?"</p><p>"No." Will spoke up before I could. </p><p>"Anything you need to say to me, you can say it in front of him."</p><p>My mother started to get up to leave the room and I stood in front of her, "No. You're staying."</p><p>"He wants to talk to you in private. Whatever it is should be between you two."</p><p>"Like you don't know. Give me a break. You said I owed you that's why I needed to be here. Well guess what, you owe me too. You need to hear him say it. No one leaves this room." </p><p>I kept my distance from him, "So say whatever it is you need to say so I can go."</p><p>"Karen please I-I don't know why I did it. I loved you so much and I let that love branch out in ways I shouldn't have."</p><p>I felt like throwing up, "As in?"</p><p>"Sweetheart, don't make me say it."</p><p>"Why, because then it'd make it real? You'd finally have to say what you did to me. I was a child, your child. You should have protected me as a father."</p><p>"Karen, I'm sorry, please forgive me."</p><p>I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, that I could never forgive him and that I hated him. I wanted to throw a fit and yell at my mother for not having the decency to be there for me. But instead I closed my eyes and let the words come out, "I forgive you. But you need to know, that this forgiveness is for me, not for you. You don't deserve it, but you will not have this hold on me forever, I won't let you. And I hope, you rot in hell." </p><p>I started to walk away when I faced my mother, "Got nothing for me?"</p><p>"Karen, this happened years ago. There was nothing I could have done."</p><p>"You could have left him. You could have been stronger, you could have been the parent and gotten me out. Instead, you chose to stick by him and let him keep abusing me while you pretended that everything was fine. And what was even worse was you called me a liar for it when you knew I was telling you the truth. I think I've always hated you more than I hated him because you knew and didn't care. But, I have to forgive you to, because I can't be binded to either of you any more. I'm going to be a parent, a great parent. And I am going to protect my child the way you never could. I'm going to love and believe them, something you failed to do." </p><p>I walked out and hurried towards the elevators. Will was right behind me and I stopped at a restroom to wash my hands. When I came out he had his arms open and I went into them. "I'm proud of you. You are the toughest woman in the world. And you're right, you're going to be the best mother."</p><p>I gave him a sad smile and he kissed the top of my head, "Let's go home." </p><p>He drove us home and I went straight to bed, I started to cry and moments later he was in bed with me, holding me. He let me cry into his chest all night and he held me, supported me, and loved me while I let it all out.</p><p>Bridget POV </p><p>Will had texted me a couple of minutes ago telling me Kaz was asleep. She had met with her father, forgave him and her mother and cried herself to sleep after. She may not feel it now, but a weight will be lifted off her. Holding onto that pain and anger just makes you a ticking time bomb. She has held in these emotions for so long, it was time to let it go. </p><p>Franky came to the bedroom to get into bed with me, "What's up Spunky."</p><p>"Nothing, just a client." I kissed her and lingered a little longer than just a quick kiss. </p><p>Franky gave me a cheeky grin, "Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"</p><p>"I just love you. And, I was thinking that if we are going to have a baby, we should start having those talks now because from the research I've been doing no matter which path we take, it's a process."</p><p>"Are you serious?"</p><p>I nodded. </p><p>Franky practically jumped on me and kissed me over and over, "I love you, I love you."</p><p>I laughed and brought her lips to mine, "I love you too baby."</p><p>Kaz POV </p><p>I woke up the next morning in an empty bed. I slowly got up and looked myself in the mirror. I looked tired from all the crying I had done the night before but I felt lighter. Like, I could breathe without fear or this shame. I put on my robe and went out to the living room where I saw Will trying to organize something and a bunch of bags on the counter, "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Shit, morning babe." He came over to kiss me, "It was supposed to be a surprise. Breakfast in bed so I got all your favorites from the cafe by the apartment."</p><p>"Will, you didn't need to do all this."</p><p>"I wanted to, and I also wanted to get you these." He pulled out some flowers with a stuffed bear. </p><p>I took them and smiled, "You're too good to me."</p><p>"How are you feeling?"</p><p>"Better, thank you for being there."</p><p>"I'm always going to be here for you Kaz. I'm always going to want to be the one you run to, I'm always going to want to protect you." </p><p>"Good, because you're a pretty great guy to run to."</p><p>"I'm a total defender, look at these guns." He flexed his muscled and I scoffed. </p><p>"Alright bring it in, don't want all that ego to get to your head."</p><p>He brought me in for a kiss, "I love you."</p><p>"I love you too."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, hello. So I decided to write one last part involving Kaz's father and herself because I think she deserved closure and she never got it on the show.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Someone to Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bea POV </p>
<p>This month practically flew by, it's like time goes faster when you're looking forward to something as much as I was. I hadn't take a real vacation in years. Debbie would go on school trips away from home from time to time but the two of us never got to do that. We'd take weekends away when we could but we always stayed nearby. </p>
<p>Debbie went on and on about it and late at night when Allie and I were in bed holding each other, I would tell her what it was like when I was growing up and my parents used to take me. I loved it there and missed going so much but Harry never really wanted to go anywhere. He saw going on trips as a waste. </p>
<p>Allie had never been either so it was all going to be new to her too. The evening before the day we were supposed to leave was chaos. Allie and I had packed our clothes and all of that the day before so that in the early morning when we leave, we'll pack all the smaller things we need.  Debbie kept changing her mind every time it looked like she was close to finish packing. She had bought so much stuff at the shops, but she couldn't wait to try it all on while we were there. </p>
<p>Our flight was at 5 in the morning so we had to go to bed early in order not to be too tired before our flight. I set up everything I needed to at work and Franky kept telling me she'd be fine. I told her to call me if she needed anything. "Red, I'll be fine Jesus. You aren't my mother, I can survive without you."</p>
<p>"I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the restaurant. Please don't mess up any of my paper systems."</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. Just go, piss off. Have fun."</p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>I went to go visit Kaz the day before we were meant to go on our trip. She seemed good, happy. We had spoken about her mom and dad and what it was like to see them after so long. Her father had passed away a couple of days after she had gone to see him. I remember her telling me that she wasn't hurting because she had forgiven him. She wasn't in pain anymore. It was always going to be something that she carried, but not as a burden, as something to look back at and be proud she survived. She wasn't a victim. </p>
<p>I was happy for her, she deserved all the happiness in the world. </p>
<p>"Bub's getting big huh?" I asked her.</p>
<p>"Don't remind me." She handed me an ultrasound picture and you could kinda seen some kind of form but it didn't seem like a lot to me, but her and Will were thrilled. "Every time I hear that baby's heartbeat, I can't help but feel this joy in my heart."</p>
<p>"Bet Will's the happiest bloke huh?"</p>
<p>"He brings home more baby stuff than I do. I have to keep reminding him not to buy so much baby clothing and shoes, they'll grow out of it quickly."</p>
<p>I laughed, "Bea told me the same thing. She said it almost seemed like no point in getting Deb shoes as a newborn because she was constantly growing out of them."</p>
<p>"You excited about the trip? Will said you'll love it there."</p>
<p>"He's been?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Mmhmm, he said it's beautiful. Lots of open space, great people, breathtaking views."</p>
<p>"The way Bea talks about it, it makes me so excited. She seems so happy to be going, all I want is for her to be happy."</p>
<p>Kaz nodded and she seemed like she was holding something back.</p>
<p>"What?" I asked.</p>
<p>"Nothing."</p>
<p>"You're making a face."</p>
<p>"I don't make faces."</p>
<p>"Yeah you do, you just made one. What is it?"</p>
<p>"Why haven't you done it yet?"</p>
<p>"Because I haven't gotten a ring yet, and every time I try to think about doing it, this little voice in my head keeps telling me to hold off. Like it's not time, too early."</p>
<p>"I thought you two had talked about it already?"</p>
<p>"We had, but that doesn't make it any less nerve wrecking. She said one day she'd want to, I don't know if that's anytime soon."</p>
<p>"Well, you'll know once you ask her."</p>
<p>"I just don't want her to feel pressured to say yes. Plus, I haven't planned it out or anything. I know, a beautiful vacation like this would be perfect but if I do it now it would be rushed and awful and I want it to work out perfectly. Plus, you're one to talk."</p>
<p>"What why?"</p>
<p>"Hello, you have the man, the house, and now the kid. Where's the ring? Didn't you listen to Beyonce?"</p>
<p>"I don't want a ring based on our circumstance. The house was enough. I want Will to marry me, for me. Not because he feels like he has to. Beyonce would understand. Stop changing the subject."</p>
<p>I stuck my tongue out at her, "I just, don't want her to say no."</p>
<p>"She wouldn't."</p>
<p>"Look, we're going to have the best vacation. Peace and calm with my two girls and then after we get back I'll start looking into it okay?"</p>
<p>She nodded, "Maybe you're right, holding off might be the best option."</p>
<p>"See, I can be right sometimes, I have my moments."</p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>We all went to bed early and I had set the alarm to wake us up before 5 so we had enough time to get ready, get to the airport, and make our flight. Franky was going to check in on the house while we were gone. Deb fell asleep before us, what a surprise. I fell asleep on Allie's chest, listening to her heartbeat. When the alarm woke me up I looked over at Allie who was still sleeping. I kissed her lightly on the lips, "Babe, it's time to wake up. Come on."</p>
<p>Allie groaned, "Ugh."</p>
<p>"You can sleep on the plane, come on." I pulled myself and her out of the bed and she went to the bathroom to get ready. I went to Deb's room and sat on her bed, I kissed her forehead and shook her lightly, "time to get up sleepyhead."</p>
<p>Debbie rubbed her eyes, she looked like a baby. She looked over at me and yawned. "Mom, can we get coffee before we get on the plane?"</p>
<p>I nodded, "Absolutely. 5 and a half hours with you two bugging me in the air, I'm gonna need it."</p>
<p>"I heard that!" Allie yelled from the doorway. She came over and jumped on Deb's bed, "let's go, time to go."</p>
<p>Deb got up and went to the restroom. I started to get ready after they did and I called for a Lyft. We waited to get some coffee until we were checked in so we didn't have to throw them out when we got there. We got called for our flight and got seated together, Allie was sitting on the other side of the aisle while Deb and I sat next to each other. Debbie dosed off and Allie looked like she was going to do the same. </p>
<p>I put my headphones in and listened to some music. I closed my eyes but I didn't fall asleep. The flight seemed to be on the longer side but by the time we landed both of them had woken up. I checked the time on my phone and it was noon already. As we got off and went to baggage claim I couldn't help the smile escape my face. </p>
<p>As we got a cab to take us to the hotel, I felt like a kid looking out the window and commenting on all the sights. Allie had her hand on my leg and kissed my cheek. We got to the hotel and it was beautiful. "Holy crap Allie."</p>
<p>"Good huh."</p>
<p>"I love you." I kissed her. I hugged Deb and we checked in. Allie had gotten us a suite and it was huge. Debbie ran in and looked all over the place. "Oh my God, Allie, this is huge."</p>
<p>"It's great!" Allie laughed. "Don't worry about it babe, just enjoy it." Allie kissed me and I walked out to the view. You could see Paihia beach from our room. </p>
<p>"I can't believe this." I grinned. </p>
<p>"Believe it baby." She handed me a glass of Champagne and came to kiss me. </p>
<p>"Ugh you guys are gross, thank God I have my own room." Debbie said. </p>
<p>I rolled my eyes and kissed Allie again. "Food?"</p>
<p>Allie and Debbie said yes at the same time. We decided to go walk around and look for someplace to eat nearby. We found a restaurant and ordered some food. I couldn't stop looking at the view, we were surrounded by so much beauty. We all ate and walked along the beach. Allie took turns taking pictures of me and her, me and Deb. Someone offered to take a picture of all of us and after he gave us our phone back he commented on what a beautiful family we had. </p>
<p>Allie smiled and we kept walking along the beach. We were going to go swimming tomorrow and maybe go looking for a trail to go hiking at. We went to the hotel suite and Deb said she was tired so she went to her room. Allie was going to start unpacking her bags and I told her to rest, "I'll do it. You've done so much already." I kissed her. </p>
<p>"Anything for you. Do you like it? Deb gave me the idea of the destination, I sorta had to pick everything else."</p>
<p>"It's perfect."</p>
<p>She went to the bathroom and I quickly put our stuff in a couple of drawers and left the rest in our suitcase. I got in bed and was waiting for Allie when she came out of the bathroom wearing a sheer see through nightie. It was so short and covered basically nothing. I felt my mouth open and Allie walked over to me. She grabbed me by the sides of my face and placed a kiss on my lips. She got on top of me and I moaned realizing she wasn't wearing any underwear. I could feel how wet she was and I put my fingers inside of her. She threw her head back and bit her lip as I curled my fingers. I used my other hand to pull her nightie down and I put my mouth on her breast. </p>
<p>Allie was basically riding my fingers as I moved my hand to match her pace. I knew she was close, "Cum for me baby." I pulled her into a kiss and she moaned in my mouth when she let go. She sighed against me and I pulled my fingers out, I made her lick them and she moved her tongue around the fingers I had just pulled out from her. I pulled her into another kiss. She pulled her nightie off completely and I moved us so she was laying down on the bed, sprawled out under me. I took my shirt off and she came up to take my belt off. She kissed my stomach while she unbuttoned my pants. I kissed her roughly and pushed her onto the bed. </p>
<p>I pinned her hands to her side and attacked her chest with my mouth. She unclipped my bra and put her hand down my underwear. I fell on top of her as she moved her fingers. She pulled at my bottom lip as I orgasmed. I moved to lay next to her and she rubbed my back and kissed my shoulder. "I love you."</p>
<p>"I love you too." I kissed her and she removed my underwear. </p>
<p>"I'm not done with you."</p>
<p>Allie POV </p>
<p>The following morning we ordered room service for breakfast and got ready to go to the beach. Debbie put a dress on top of her bathing suit. I had a side sarong wrapped around my waist and Bea was wearing shorts and a tank top. Bea had a bag with towels, sun lotion, waters, and snacks because she knew us so well. </p>
<p>We went out to the water, I raced Deb to see who'd get there first. Bea said she's join us in a bit. She set a towel down and seemed to want to tan a bit. I saw her pull her top off and unbutton her shorts and slightly open them. She was wearing a black two piece and I could feel my mouth go dry. </p>
<p>I told Deb, "I'm gonna go get some water alright?"</p>
<p>She nodded. </p>
<p>I went over to Bea who had glasses on and put her hand up to see me clearly, "How's the water?"</p>
<p>"Delicious, but someone is distracting me."</p>
<p>She smirked, "Oh yeah, what are you going to do about it?"</p>
<p>I took that as challenge accepted and picked her up and threw her over my shoulder. It was hard because she was fighting back. I could hear Debbie laughing as I brought Bea to the water. I threw her in and she dragged me down with her. She came back up moving her hair away from her face, "I hate you."</p>
<p>"Good." I kissed her and she smiled into the kiss.</p>
<p>"I'm getting you back for this."</p>
<p>"I look forward to it babe."</p>
<p>Bea completely took her shorts off and swam with me and Deb. We laughed and had a great time. When Deb started saying she was hungry we got out and dried off. We went to a cafe nearby and had a really good lunch. Franky called Bea so she got up to take the phone call. I asked her what it was about when she got back, "Franky being Franky. Just bugging me."</p>
<p>She kissed me and we went back to the room. Deb said the beach wiped her out and she wanted to take a nap. I went to go shower and when I got out Bea and Deb were talking in her room. Bea came out and kissed me. "Did Deb fall asleep?" I asked. </p>
<p>"She's about to. I was thinking, after my shower, do you wanna go for that walk on the trail? I think Deb's too tired."</p>
<p>"Sure. Is everything okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, everything is great." She smiled. </p>
<p>She quickly got showered and left a note for Deb. We went out to go for our walk and we held hands the entire time. Bea was wearing a sweater even though it was pretty warm. When we reached an area pretty high up, it felt like you could see it all from up here. It reminded me of the date she took me on when it was my birthday. </p>
<p>She put her arms around me and kissed my neck, "Thank you for this, thank you for all of it."</p>
<p>"Of course, I'd do anything for you."</p>
<p>"I know you would." She removed her hands from around my waist. I was turning around to face her when I looked down to see her on one knee. She had a box in her hand and opened it, there was a diamond ring. "Oh my God."</p>
<p>"Allie Novak, you make the happiest woman in the entire world. The only happiness I had before you was Debbie but I never knew what true love felt like until you came into my life. You've changed me for the better and made me alive again. Will you marry me?"</p>
<p>Tears were falling down my face and I rapidly nodded my head, "Yes, yes, oh my God yes of course." I bent down and kissed her. </p>
<p>She put the ring on my finger and I looked at it, still crying. "When? When did you plan this. Oh my God I was going to-"</p>
<p>"I know you were."</p>
<p>I was stunned. "Kaz."</p>
<p>"I went to Kaz's one day after work and I asked her for your hand in marriage. She's like a mom to you and she's your family. She told me you had talked to her about wanting to propose and she told me she would update me if you were still planning on doing it. After you left her house, the day before we left, she told me you were holding off because you thought I wasn't ready. Well, I am. I want to be your wife."</p>
<p>"Oh my God. Does Deb know, Franky?"</p>
<p>Bea nodded, "Debbie was sleepy and tired but it was also an excuse for us to be alone. That's why Franky called me, she wanted to see if I chickened out."</p>
<p>I laughed and looked at the ring again, "Oh my God. I love you." I pulled her into another kiss. </p>
<p>Bea POV </p>
<p>She said yes! I didn't doubt that she would but it was still all so nerve wrecking. I decided around the time Franky and Bridget got back from their honeymoon. I wanted to marry Allie, I wanted her to be my wife. She was already my family but I wanted it to be official. Allie cried when I proposed and I got teary eyed watching her reaction. When we walked back to the hotel she had this giddiness in her. Debbie was waiting for us when we got back, "Well?"</p>
<p>Allie put her hand up and Debbie excitedly screamed. She came over to officially look at it. I took a picture of Allie looking at the ring and sent it to Franky and Kaz. I got texts back almost immediately congratulating us. I looked at the two most important people standing in front of me and thought about everything we have gone through individually, and together. I had no idea how much of an impact Allie would have in my life when I first met her. She was just a soon to be waitress and I was just supposed to be her boss. Instead, life brought us together and now she's going to be my wife. I couldn't be happier, I was living the life I never thought I would be living, but loved more than anything. All of these fragments of my life brought us together, brought other people around us together in unimaginable ways. </p>
<p>This elation I felt in my heart, in my soul, was something that overwhelmed me, but in a good way. I had found everything I needed to be happy; someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>That's all folks. Thank you so much for all of the support I have received throughout this story. It was my first time using this platform and you were all so kind with your comments and kudos. I appreciate all of it. I have an idea for another Ballie story I might put out a little later but until then, I hope you enjoyed this final chapter in this story.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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